Chapter Fifteen

Welcome to the panic room

Where all your darkest fears are gonna

Come for you, come for you

Welcome to the panic room

You'll know I wasn't joking

When you see them too, see them too

Chapter Fifteen – Darkness and Despair.

Nephele's POV

Silence.

Utter quiet but true silence.

My eyes snap open as we continue to stand a few feet apart. He was standing in between the island bench and the kitchen sink whereas I was standing, facing him, away from the kitchen bench and next to wall. This position was probably compromising, but I did not realise in that moment. There was open space to my left, my right shoulder thirty centimetres away from the grey coloured wall. With the area I was standing in, and how I was in direct contactable ability with him, I could easily be charged at. I could easily be attacked.

But deep down I knew he would never hurt me physically.

Why did I know that though? How did I know such things would never occur, when in fact I did not have foresight?

My lips are opened slightly in shock, my dark blue eyes probably wide as I look at him. I search his face for any signs of deceit, something I had always been good at detecting within people, but found none.

What was going through this man's mind?

"And so, you kidnapped me?" My smart mouth could not hold back. It just had to spit that at him, honestly great. It was a statement that I felt was reasonably fair, but it was not the time to ask, especially after someone just confessed their undying devotion to you. Although he did not do that; he just confessed we are soulmates meant to spend the rest of my life together, which is what I assume they do. He could be a cheater for Christ's sake. I could not trust my heart with this man, so why did he think kidnapping was a good solution to that?

"Because there was no other way, and you were in a compromising position when I got to you." His voice was calm, a small smirk on his face at my feisty attitude towards his confession. This is not how I would expect these things to go, especially from my experience with books and movies.

Shit did not go down like that.

"No other way? I can think of more the fifty other ways, why kidnapping the person you are soulmates with, which I will get to in a second, is a bad idea." I deal back, my anger growing but it not causing me to shout. That was unhealthy for any relationship.

Yelling was never the answer, and yelling would only lead to more people yelling and arguing. If a relationship was going to be healthy, you had to talk it through with them rather than start screaming and fighting and pushing. It got exhausting, no matter what relationship.

If anything, when I spoke to Lucifer right now, unlike what I had done previously when speaking to him, I was using sarcasm and a little bit of wit. I kept my mind calm so I could both fire back questions and run if needed.

"Yes, I understand my mistake now Amare, but in the moment, I thought it was the best thing for your safety." I nod my head at this, deciding to hold the question about why my safety was involved.

"Okay, well I am not going to jump into your arms any time soon, lover boy." I smile mockingly at him, annoyed at a lot of things he has done in the past week. It had now been exactly a week and one day, eight days since I arrived in this Hell of a life and eight days. Eight days and I was already questioning what was happening to my emotional and mental barriers in my head.

"We'll see Little Cloud." I hear him mumble under his breath, causing me to huff and cross my arms over my chest in defiance. We will not see Luci.

Not now; not in the next few years either.

Not ever, preferably.

" Firstly, the whole 'soulmate' thing sounds far-fetched and a load of bullshit to me, but it would explain a few things. Secondly, if I was your other half this whole time, why not tell me sooner?" I continue, ignoring his snarky comment towards me jumping into his arms at this given moment.

"The bond between us is sacred amare. You will begin to feel it, if you have not already which I doubt you haven't. You feel the tingles and electricity every time we touch, do you not? You feel the safety of when I touch you, do you not? You feel that pain in your chest every time I am seen with or I talk about another woman, do you not?" He asks and I want to gasp, knee him in the balls or slap him all at the same time. Violent, I know. I did feel the urge of something else, but I insistently pushed that feeling down, knowing the only one who would enjoy that would be Lucifer, whereas I would suffer from embarrassment for the rest of my time with him.

So, kneeing him in the balls seemed like the better thing to do, as he was being blatantly obvious at snooping around in my head.

"Amare, those sparks, the safe feeling is because of the mate bond. Regardless, I could not tell you sooner of the bond between us. It is against the law with the mating processes." He pauses and I finally noticed we was closer than before, although I don't not take a step back in intimidation or fear. In fact, I stay facing him face on, staring him down and demanding the truth for once. "I am only allowed to inform you, as is any mate who knows about the bond in the situation the other doesn't, after seven days; giving you the chance to escape." I frown at his words; wouldn't the mate be able to escape later on?

"Yes but No, they wouldn't." He answers for me. I pull my nose up at him and give him a pointed look for him going through my thoughts again. He ignores it and continues. "Once the mating bond is sealed between the two, which usually occurs prior to seven days, the human or the unknowing mate in the situation, will have the opportunity to reject or turn down the other's advances but there are conditions to those as well. It is a complicated process." He explains.

"So, if one mate was abusive to the other, then they could not escape the abuse because they are bonded eternally?" I ask, fearing for a lot of things in the moment.

"No, no. You can approach the Goddess who matches, there are ways out of the mating bonds but they are complex and unnatural. You only escape if it is what is the best for both the mates, and it is necessary in a sense. You would have to ask Artemis as I do not know the details of that part, however a bond is a sacred thing, it is a treasure to have." His voice was soft and I could hear the pain behind him explain the rejection process to his own soulmate, who might be very well considering leaving him.

I was not; I knew I should not leave but I did miss my home as stupid as that sounded. I just wanted to do one last thing on the surface if I was to return down to the Underworld with Lucifer and enter a life, I did not know I had coming. I was not mad he was my soulmate, if that statement was true. He had yet to prove me wrong on him harming me, but I had always imagined falling in love with someone who took me off my feet, someone from a book.

(A/N Like Rhysand (ACOTAR) or Liam (The Darkest Minds – bad movie, great book for when I was a younger teen) Cassian, Sam, Evan, Rowan, Clay, Lucas, Dorian, Vaughn. If you know what books I am referencing pls comment so I am not alone.)

"Earlier I was referring to general bonds Amare. Lilith and Adam for example; he knew about the bond before Lilith did, and he had to wait seven days to tell her. In that time, she was banished from the heavens, practically escaping him. Although, God did not know that Adam and Lilith were mates at that point as he was being blind to the whole mating of the pair, with Lilith not being what God wanted in a woman, especially for his first son. However, after Lilith escaped or was banished, each story depending on who you ask, Adam grew depressed, as you humans would call it. He grew sad and eventually fell from the heavens themselves. He found Lilith and explained everything to which she then understood and accepted the bond." I was speechless.

"Hold up. You are saying that Lilith, the Lilith that helped me try and get out, the Lilith that is like a total badass, fell from heaven with no clue Adam was her mate?" I knew she fell from heaven and Adam followed, and I knew they were mates, that was explained a few minutes ago.

"Precisely." He answers and I smile to myself.

"So, it is common for one mate to not know or understand the mate bond?"

"Very Amare. A lot of mates are 'wooed' into the bond, with one mate doing everything in their power to form a relationship with their other half before they drop the whole soulmate description on them. There are a few who have done it differently." He says the last part as if he knows a scenario from his memory where that has happened. "Mind you Little Nymph, one mate not knowing generally means a mate is either not a Supernatural being, or has been mis-informed and possibly does not know." I nod my head in understanding, my mind grasping the concept very quickly which did surprise me. When it usually came to subjects other than medicine and science, I would collapse and not understand. Hence why I was working to become a Doctor.

"What about Mates who are both Supernatural?" I ask, knowing the answer was probably going to be obvious and it was probably a dumb question to ask. He smiles at me softly, his hand grabbing hold of my own and leading me to the couch. He pushed me down so I sit as I pull my hand away from his.

Just because I was suddenly meant to be his other half, did not mean I was comfortable with any of it.

He sits at the opposite side of the three-seater couch with his body facing me. I cross my legs and lean against the corner of the arm rest and the plush back of the soft grey couch, getting comfortable.

"Well, they realise straight away. It is practically impossible for someone who is aware of the concept of Mate Bonds to resist or 'miss' them. I could spot you from far away, as I bet you could me." I doubt he could, I would only be able to spot him for his height, not because there was a strange pull in my chest leading me to his position. "Nonetheless, a classic example is Mars and Aphrodite. The only two of the most powerful deities mated in history, everyone else has just been hooking up, as the mundane would say. However, mated supernatural both have a seven-day period in which they can reject each other, as do the human and supernatural soulmates; except ours is not seven days." I smile at his revelation. I had heard of the Aphrodite and Ares story, although I guess he preferred his roman name; Mars.

I doubt the story was the same though so I won't explain it as it is probably wrong.

"That makes sense. So, if I wanted to, I could reject you within the next how long?" I ask sheepishly. I watch his face drop slightly before he recovers and pulls the expressionless face he always held.

"Two days, technically one and a half at the moment." He says in a hard tone, as if he thought I was going to do it on the spot.

"Okay." I say in a small voice, knowing I needed to ask two more questions about this before I needed to ask another about the Mundane world. "Are you going to reject me?" I ask, moving my head to the side out of curiosity.

"Of course not. I have been waiting for you for centuries. However, I will not take that choice away from you."

Way to make a girl feel special, and extremely torn at the same time lover boy, real great.

"Oh, okay. I have two more questions now." I continue as he nods, a small, sad smile on his face. "Why did the windows shatter as you teleport-, sorry, winnowed me away, and why did you winnow me away?" The winnowing term still got to me, it being strange and weird but I went with it.

"I am yet to figure the first one out Amare, but you were going to hurt yourself if you continued so I removed you from the situation for you." I tried not to blush at his comment, but it seemed I couldn't stop the red heat from traveling up to my cheeks. But the first comment to answer my first question, make that three instead of two left by the way, left me feeling confused, wondering what was wrong with me.

That cold white and icy blue thing seemed to follow me everywhere, and now I was just confused. So confused once more.

"Oh." I state pathetically out of embarrassment. Clearing my throat and meeting Lucifer's eyes again I ask my final question.

"Is it possible for me to go somewhere in the Mundane world before I decide whether to stay or leave?" Although I never really considered leaving, only escaping. I was not sure if I wanted to leave at this point. It was strange and now I was acting cliché.

So cliché that I hated the sound of my thoughts in my head, it making me cringe.

I did want freedom. I wanted to be free and travel, enjoy myself, but at the same time I was so tempted by what I felt for this man in front of my that I did not know what I should choose.

So I knew there was one place that would tell me the answer.

"Of course, Are you willing to go now or later?" He asks in a soft tone and I smile graciously at him, happy he was not fighting me over this. I knew I needed to go now, after I had asked Lilith of the date, I knew I needed to go today.

"Now would be good, I know where I need to go. You can come if you want." I shyly ask for him to come. Yes, I did it because I felt safer with him there, but also because I usually had moral support with me whenever I went to this place. It was usually Angelina, as I could cry with her, but Lucifer did not seem too bad.

It was not like he wasn't involved with this anyway.

"Of-course mea amare. Where to my I ask?" He stands from the seat and I do as well, watching him straighten his shirt and face me. I smile a thin smile, knowing my mood will be totally ruined when we arrive at the place.

I state the address in a normal voice and he gives me a strange look before shaking his head. "Do not stress, we aren't going to try and sell you at the Black Markets yet, lover boy." I tease him innocently, lover boy being his new nickname. He smiles, commenting just as quick as I did.

"Careful Amare, I do bite." I felt my body heat at his words but I try to calm myself down and not let it get to me.

Today was a serious day, despite what I was just told from Lucifer. Not only did I need time to process this all, I also needed to pay my respects.

"Ooh, sounds fun." I say back before reaching for his now extended hand. "Were we are going –" I am cut off by his one hand squeeze, it providing some sort of comfort.

"I know." He says in understanding and I smile at his kindness, a warmth growing in my chest as he says these words.

I bite my lip and nod my head, indicating I am ready after taking a deep breath, our eyes never leaving one another as the world morphs out from around us. I squeeze his hands tighter in the seconds where there is nothing around me but him, nothing stabilising me but him.

I swallow the lump in my throat before landing on a street in the middle of a nearly empty town. It was not deserted. It was just a day of mourning for the people who lived her, so they stayed home and mourned for the loss of my parents. I take a deep breath and release the warm hand that was holding onto mine.

I walk away from Lucifer, knowing very well he will follow me. The shoes I had slipped on when I left the pretty room earlier today did not make a sound apart from a crunch as they walked across the rumble on the asphalt towards a small lit up shop on the side of the street. All the other shops were closed, apart from this one. There were no cars parked out the front like there once was, there was no person on the street apart from Lucifer and I. No lights on either as the grey gloomy clouds rolling in over our heads.

My mood instantly changed as I reached the sidewalk, three metres away from entering the shop. The flirtatious talk with Lucifer had left my mind as I felt the coldness of this place seep into my skin, knowing it would hurt to go where I wanted to go. I open the chipping white painted door with a tug, a small bell chiming as I do so. I did not even need to go to the counter before I saw the lady who always gave me the flowers.

"Here you go sweetie." She says kindly, a small kind smile on her face as she handed me a big beautiful bouquet filled with soft white Lilies, freshly cut cream Roses and Forget Me Nots. There were small pine needles mixed among the assortment, along with velvet fern leaves to give it an even more beautiful depth.

She did this every year.

"They would be very proud you know." I hear her whisper and I smile gently at her, not letting the tears fall from my eyes. I close them tightly, making sure when I open there is no sign of weakness.

"Thank you, Cassandra." I say to the older lady kindly before walking out shop, the bell chiming as I push once more through the chipping white painted door. Lucifer stands against the side of the wall next to the door, obviously keeping a watch and listening in to my conversation at the same time.

I did not bother him about it now, my mood changing so suddenly that I could not be bothered.

I walked past him silently, knowing he was again going to follow me down the sidewalk of the street in the direction I was heading. It is not a very long way before we reach the grass land, an area surrounded by a two-foot-high fence. It was not a grass land, I called it that when I was little so I did not get scared coming here as a child. Where I was heading was the epitome of death, were the dead where laid to rest six feet under.

I walked into the cemetery.

I hold the flowers in one hand as I walk down the aisle towards where my parents are buried, there being barely any tomb stones in the graveyard as not many people lived in this town. It was a touristy town, especially in the cold Canadian winters.

Mother and Father had lived here with my brother and I before they died. My brother blames me for my mother's death, and he blames the world for our fathers. Separate accidents, separate times. Both tragic.

He does not visit me or them anymore.

It was a surprise to get an invite to his birthday party this year, but I guess his best friend must have forced him to. He and I, his best friend, are also good friends. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Tanned skin. Soft hands. He was also in medicine, although he had finished and was now a resident at a hospital in the New York state in America. He was three years older than me, my brother being four. I was in my fourth year of studying medicine, finishing my general-prac courses before I was going to head on into a specific field; although I had not chosen which field that was going to be.

Regardless of that, my brother openly hated me for who I was. He resented me and when he was eighteen, I was two months from sixteen, he left me with Angelina and her parents.

That was the world, and it was cruel.

Mindless I stop in front of their graves. Nothing was out of the ordinary, no new flowers, no wilting ones either. No dug-up dirt, no cards or anything. I did not expect anything else. Everyone gave up on that ten years ago for my mother's grave, five years for my father's.

They had died separately, with my mother's being an assassination eighteen years ago and my father's being made to look like an accident only seven years ago. It was an accident, there was nothing hinting towards it being otherwise, but for my mother they never knew why she was killed.

No one could provide answers for her erratic and strange behaviour.

No one would give us answers; give me closure.

I bite my lip as I stand in front of their graves to stop myself from sobbing, becoming a crying mess. I would not loose anymore tears over a thing that was not my fault.

I sink to my knees softly, the dry dirt feeling soft under my covered knees as the ground swallowed them up. I rest on the backs of my heels, reaching forwards and placing the bouquet on the dying, crusted brown grass between the two burial sites. It was strange, everywhere else was lush and green as usual, the rain being a common occurrence in this part of Canada, especially in Winter. I bite my lip, retracting my hand from the now bare flowers and the string that keeps them in a bunch. Keeps them close, making me even sadder at the thought of how, even though those flowers were going to die, at least they were with someone. They were together.

I let a tear fall from my eye, it slowly trailing down and onto my cheek. It leaves a slick trail, shiny even in the low light.

"I miss you both so much." I whisper to no one in particular, just imagining I was talking to them even though they were nothing but rotting bodies less than seven feet away from me. "I really need guidance right now. The last two weeks have not been kind, it has been hard and now I do not know what to do." I continue, sorrow a main component in my voice.

My mother had been a good one from what I remember. She always made me hot drinks whenever I couldn't sleep. She would laugh and say I got her genes, mainly because I acted in the same way as she would. She died by a bullet.

She would sit up and drink hot cocoa with me, whilst reading to me. She was what I always wanted to become, but could never become.

I knew that I was only four years old, but I knew that my ever-fading memories of her would be the good ones. I do not remember her flaws or as to why someone would despise her, but that was probably just my childlike naivety.

My father died more recently though, when I was thirteen. He had taught me some self-defence before Angelina's dad started to get us into martial arts classes. He was a good dad. He was around when he could be, when he wasn't traveling the world. He died by a rock.

My brother and I were looked after by our Grand-Parents, who I haven't seen since they and my brother left me with Angelina's parents in a rush. I did not really care for them much as they had abandoned me, once again.

"Please, I need your advice." I whisper hoarsely, my throat closing up as I put my face in my hands and cry. I let the sobs rake my body as despair overtakes me. I miss them so much, I missed having a normal childhood because I grew up around death. I was surrounded by death. My whole family abandoned me, they left me when I needed them the most and they did not look back. They did not even turn their heads when I started crying for them, broken and in despair at the door of Angelina's house.

They left me to the Devil.

Two arms come around my quivering form as I cry, my hands reaching up and grabbing onto the collar of Lucifer's shirt as I am pulled into his lap. I sob with my cheek against his chest and arms loosely around his neck and shoulders. His whispers sweet words into my ears; words of love and affection. Words that a family should have spoken to me when I was broken and left crying on a doorstep.

Rain starts to fall from the sky but he doesn't move us, even as the Heavens open to release their fury upon us. Instead, he gently rocks us back and forth as his arms tighten on my hold, his fingers drawing soft patterns on my skin in an effort to calm me down. I let myself melt into his comfort, feel safe in his touch. I let myself trust him in that moment.

And in that moment, I knew what I was going to do.

I knew that leaving me to the Devil was the best thing they could have possibly done.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I just procrastinated a lot of work for this so, yah.

Word Count is 4568 words.

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QOTC: Favourite song at the moment?

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SONG: Panic Room by Au/Ra

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Rose xo