Chapter Twenty-Five

I just can't believe you don't know what I'm feelin'

Guess you got the best of this

Pickin' up the pieces, you just wanna leave 'em

Killin' me a little bit

And I hate the way you love me

And I hate that I still care

Funny how you feel like we would ever talk again

How could you think I'd be your friend?

Chapter Twenty-Five - Breaking

Nephele's POV

I screamed as I fell backwards into the nothingness of the blackened void. My stomach dropped as I continued to fall into the unknown, my hair freely flowing behind me as the world inverted and my screaming body shot up from the bed as the worlds shifted underneath me and I was brought back to the Devil's room with the least idea of what was the truth and what was not.

"Gods Adapt to religions and cultures over Time."

"I have many names Little Nymph."

"I am them all; I am the same person as all of them, I was just given different names. I still have the same face, the same personality, the same hands, the same everything. My name changes and my power grows, that is all."

As I come to my surroundings, the world now solid underneath my back, I shoot up in a swift movement from the soft but crinkled sheets that surrounded me.

"Nephele, what's wrong." They were the first words I heard when I shot from the bed I was sleeping in, a scream recently bleeding from my throat. My head swam, and my sense were delayed but I understood from the lip movements from Lucifer what he had said.

I also understood what he had said from the Lip Movements of Erebus.

Scrambling with my hands underneath me, I push myself from the ever-so-soft sheets we had slept in not a day ago, if time was even a true concept anymore. I move to the other side of the room in a swift singular movement, body burning with many emotions that I could feel the frozen flames erupting from my skin.

I pushed myself up against the wall and looked around the room cautiously, noting everything in the room was the exact same as it had been previously

I watched with wide eyes as the Devil, who was seated on the bed shirtless and wide eyed, watching me as I stood against the wall opposite the bed. I had moved really quickly, scrambling to get away from him as some part of me realised he was the potential threat here.

"Nephele, what is wrong?" His words were harsh but not as harsh as Khaos' had been in the dream, or memory. His words were more worried-harsh than breaking-you-harsh, but the urgency in his voice made my stomach twist and turn even more. I dart my eyes around the room briefly before bringing them to focus on Lucifer, or Erebus, who moved from his position sitting to standing next to the bed in the time I surveyed the room.

I feel the panic rising in my throat as he takes a step closer.

I didn't know who I was, or who I was meant to be.

I didn't know who I was in relation to Lucifer anymore.

I didn't know what to believe or how to feel either.

I feel my body loose its control over the ice blue fire that ran through my veins and skin alike, knowing what was going to happen next. Instinctively I raise my right hand a throw a surge of power at him, except he deflected it with a wave of his hand easily. I did see the blue burn it left on his forearm as my eyes flashed there for a second, however it didn't stop me from sending another flame ball straight to his somehow perfectly sculpted chest.

"Amare, talk to me." His voice wasn't angry, and more held concern than anger.

But that annoyed me further.

I lift my left hand at the same time as my right and swipe to my right, feeling the ice flowing from the palm of my hand to my fingertips as the frozen electricity left in a large mass and headed towards my 'Beloved's' head with precision. I watch as he ducks out the way within a millisecond and recovered, the ice hitting the wooden poster of the bed instead of his head.

"Don't call me that." I seethe with anger and frustration. He lied to me about everything once more. He could not be trusted; and maybe that was the unpredictable but sensible side of me speaking, but I knew that side was right.

He couldn't be trusted.

So, before he could fully recover, I use my left hand to do the same technique I was taught two days prior in the training sessions and sent a ball of pure solid ice to his side. I continued this motion, one ball of ice after another streaming through the air like rain into him.

"You lied!" I scream at him as I move across the room towards the door that leads to the hallway, always facing the handsomely tall Devil as he tried to get closer to me. I continue to swiftly, one after one, cascade ice fire onto him. I knew deep down that I could have done far worse with the ice, but I only kept throwing balls of frozen power at him, not aiming to kill I assumed. "You lied about everything!"

He dodged every single ball with ease, and even raised his hand to lock the doors that would've been my escape. The door locking was no problem to me, and I knew ways to bypass the blocked door.

Extending my hand to the side in the direction of the door, I manipulate the particles in the air and let the ice extend from my finger tips and freeze to the door. The door lock itself became cold enough that with a kick to the door, or a large force applied to the door itself, it would burst open with such ease.

It was beautiful, the magic that flowed through my veins and the way the magic spread on the door. It was innocent and pure in nature, something meant to be used for good.

Except was this good?

"I didn't lie to you about anything." It was a simple statement, probably a truth but not an entire truth.

I let the anger that had been building escape with the next surge, and so a blackened piece of power glistened as its pointed end headed straight for Lucifer's abdomen. He deflected with ease, it disintegrating within a metre of him with the lifting of one hand.

I wasn't aiming to kill him but I still wanted to hit him with something that hurt, across the head most likely too.

He still approached at a slow rate, gaining ground every second ball I had thrown at him.

I continued to pelt hail onto him with all the force I could muster, and a lot of it continued to hit his skin but leave no damage which annoyed me because I knew he was immune to certain aspects of my power as I was immune to his in certain ways.

I narrowed my eyes as he approached within a metre of me before I leaped through to air with precision and perfection, the leap being unsuspected to the Devil. I land on him, one elbow digging into his collar bone with eccentric force whilst my opposite knee goes into his abdomen, just below the end of his rib line to wind him.

I use the force of him stumbling backwards due to my shock surprise to wrap my free arm around his neck and twist around his neck, allowing me to climb over him and onto his back, holding his neck in a lock preventing him from moving.

I pull hard on the lock and use my own weight to provide momentum as I pull backwards, flipping the Devil over my head and onto the floor. I let go half way through the movement, allowing myself to land on my crouched feet.

What I did expect was for him to end up on his face behind me. What I didn't expect was for him to have god-like reflexes and already be standing by the time I landed.

With one hand sprawled across my collar bones and holding me against his solid body, the other across my hips and dangerously low to the split of my leg, Lucifer stood with a smirk. The newly positioned mirror gave the perfect view for this situation; with me now in a body lock against his own body, him using his height to hold me against me like I was a prisoner.

I was a prisoner here as well.

"Now, now, Amare. Is that a way to treat your beloved?" His voice was low in my ear, and I could tell he was getting off by this, despite the concern his eyes held. He was trying to manipulate my body into turning against me so he could talk this out.

He was trying to turn me against myself again.

I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a pulse of ice blue fire towards the mirror, opening my eyes to watch the mirror shatter into a thousand different shards against the floor. The sound of the shatter was like gunshots to my ears and blood to my lips. I smile at the cracks and pieces left in the mirror, it reminding me of the moment.

I take a deep breath, sucking in whilst I summon the blue magic to my hands with everything I could, I place my left hand onto his bare neck as my hand wasn't restrained completely. He seethes but not in anger and more pain as my hand was beyond freezing. I use the loosening of his grip to bring my knee up and kick my leg backwards into the side of his thigh, near enough to his crotch to bring pain. I spin within the same second and raise my other hand, throwing solid ice against his abdomen as he falls to the ground with the surprise.

When he lands, I know he was going to get up again. It would take much more for a God to fall. He was going easy on me, and I would use that to my advantage.

I throw down cuffs of ice, restraining him by his ankles and his wrists with the burning ice to the floor, preventing him from arising for at least a few minutes until his Hellish powers would melt through the ice. He struggles against the minute restraints, but I know they will hold for a few minutes.

That was all the time I needed.

"What about Erebus and Nyx?" I question in anger holding him against the floor, the ice blue aura that had encased my body growing in size as it pulsates and surges. "Why do I look exactly like her, and why do you look exactly like Erebus and why does my mother have the same eyes as Khaos?" I all but seethe at him with a calm reddish rage, finding something about this so uncontrollable and outrageous that it made me desperately angry.

Blue ice now encased my body, the feeling of power growing in my core as the fire grew with my anger, pulsating with my heartbeat.

The room was quiet for some time, Lucifer freezing from his struggle, but keeping his eyes on mine. Automatically, at the silence, I let my arms fall to my side as I take control of my breathing once more. I feel the tears on my cheeks, wet and cold as I recall what Nyx's mother had done to her.

Silence was all there was. I could hear my thoughts and piece them together in this state. The blood rushing to my ears wasn't blocking out my ability to concentrate anymore, and I could actually think. I could connect the dots, and I knew what Lucifer was going to explain before he did.

"You remember me?" It was an innocent and weak question, and I knew I caught him in his weak period. The pain in his voice left me confused, although I really shouldn't be.

"I don't know what to remember at this point." I state, having nothing to say to him other than get out of my room. I knew that throwing a small tantrum either. "I keep having visions. They appear to try and get me to remember something. This one, I was in a prison cell and I watched Nyx and her mother fight about something. I then picked up that she was Erebus's beloved, which means she is your beloved but that came in later, and then Erebus came and he didn't get to her in time before she disappeared along with her mother and you are Erebus unless you have a twin brother- "

I was cut off as I rambled by Lucifer who now stood in front of me. His bare chest blocked all the light that came in from the windows, leaving me to look up at him with a lost look.

"You and Nyx are the same person, Nephele."

That was the moment when my world broke a little more.

"Nyx's powers died out centuries ago when she was replaced by Artemis and Selene in her Duty to the Night. She had been missing for centuries when she was replaced, and she was only replaced because people couldn't live without her. Wars that had lasted thousands of years ensued after her disappearance and the only way to stop that was through the creation and Artemis and Selene."

I didn't say anything, expecting him to continue. I couldn't meet his eyes as he lay on the floor in front of me, chained up like I once was apparently.

"As my powers grew stronger as more Realms were created and more cultures accepted the need for Death, my name changed. Erebus grew outdated and Lucifer fitted easier. Regardless, after the Heavens gave up on your disappearance and the people fighting for your powers gave up as well, your mother became easier to track down. I found you within the last decade, and watched you grow up again." He says quietly.

"When did you first meet me?" He takes a while to answer the question.

"I met you when you were seventeen years old in Human terms. I was twenty-three years in Human terms as well. However, in God age, I was far older than you. You were merely five-hundred years, and I was eons. I was waiting for you to come to me first because I didn't want to take you away from your mother, and I knew that you were too young of a God to become a Beloved. I decided to wait out of respect to you, because you meant more than someone who could be taken at the age of seventeen and told to marry someone. I would never have court you until you were over eighteen, maybe even older in Human terms. But when your father sent people to try and kill you, I stepped in and offered for you to come to Hell." I nod my head to what he was saying. He was going to wait until I was of age before he was to attempt to court me.

That made it seem sweet, although this was centuries ago.

(A/N I AM TRYING NOT TO ROMANTICIZE AN UNDERAGE RELATIONSHIP PLEASE TELL ME I AM DOING GREAT, THANK YOU)

"Your mother declined my offer, despite the fact that she knew Hell would be the safest place for you to go. Instead, you decided to rebel against her wishes because you wanted to fight. So, during the final months before your disappearance, you had visited me every night you had the chance. I would come to you as well sometimes, and we would go on adventures across the realms. We would visit cities and nations of the realms whenever we had the chance. We did it because we knew that the people after you would've killed you if they found you, and I wanted to keep you safe whilst you rebelled. That's why you saw how attached Erebus and Nyx were to each other, because they had, against her mother's wishes and met."

The pause was silent; deadly even.

"That night in the Prison, was the worst day in my entire existence. I lost you, and I was so close to having you." Again, he paused, swallowing deeply before he continued "You won't ever remember anything from your time before this life. You will most likely see visions of the lives you have lived within the past thousand decades, but you will never regain the memory of your old self." It was saddening that I couldn't remember Lucifer like he obviously remembered me.

"Why is that?"

"Your Mother is a powerful Goddess. You are powerful by genes, and will have the power to manipulate and use powers that the old you had, but that you is no longer alive. She had warped your mind so badly that for you to have Nyx back, it would create havoc unlike anything seen before. We would have to restart everything. The Nyx you were and I used to know a long, long, time ago can't exist anymore. She is you, don't get me wrong, you two are the same person with the same looks and same personality, but you won't get her memories back." I understood what he was saying. I know that he thought of me as her, but I couldn't see myself as her and only say myself as me.

I was not her; I was me.

"Your mother has been manipulating your mind every couple of decades, letting you grow up from a baby until she saw it was fit to move you into another household, in another nation, in another realm. That is why it took be centuries to track you down. Your mother took everything from you Nephele. You may have remnants of Nyx's powers, and you may have her soul and body, but you are still Nephele. You and her are the same person, you have the same thoughts, but all you know is Nephele so that is who you are okay?"

I nod along to him, noting that I don't have much time left.

I understood what he was saying.

Nyx and I were the same person, despite me not knowing her, or me back then.

Just as he and Erebus are the same person, except one is just more evolved than the other.

"Right now, it is my Father that is after me, right? Not the Father I know but the biological Father, correct?" I hum quickly, already knowing that answer.

"Yes." Short and sweet. Perfect.

"Why keep it from me?" Simple question. The last question as well.

"Because I didn't want to stress you." I laugh at him, roll my eyes and turn to the door. With one foot in front of the other, I run my finger tips from my collar bone to my hips gently and imagine myself in different clothing than the loose T-shirt I was dressed in, and morphed into the clothing.

Lilith taught me that trick a week ago, and had since used it as often as I could.

I raise my hand as the black clothing I was now wearing morphed onto my skin loosely replacing the t-shirt I was wearing whilst I rested, and extended my fingers with ease. Ice formed in a small ball and with enough momentum I through it at the door. I watched as the door opened with ease.

"Nephele, don't leave the Castle."

I turn to him just as the black stiletto I now wore with the short black dress I also now wore touched the ground. I gave him a glare, mentally enforcing my own head against the possibility of him entering my mind and changing it because who knew the real extent of his powers.

"Make me, Satan." I turn on the ball of my foot and continue walking out the door and turn into the hall. I hear Lucifer screaming from behind me as he calls my name in vain. I hear him begging and pleading for me not to do what I'm about to do.

He was too late.

With a wave of my hand, Blu appears by my side. She is perched on the ground, looking up at me as I stand in the satin tea-cupped dress that made it look as though I was going to a fashionable funeral. I smile down at her, tears forming in my eyes as I realise what I am about to do and what this means.

"Thanatos." I whisper aloud, knowing he would hear it regardless as I mentioned his name. Within a second, he appears to my left dressed in all black battle Armor, standing proud much like Blu who still sat next to my ankles. His eyes were pure black once more and his aura was leaking the darkness itself.

"Yes, My Lady?" I smiled, and turned to him with a grateful smile. Touching his hand gently, I allow him to peer into my head with ease.

The magic side of this world suddenly became so much easier than it had been. I was able to summon the blue ice with such ease, and was able to communicate telepathically, even though I could never before.

Nonetheless, I show Thanatos the Island I desired to go to. I showed him some island near Tahiti which was most likely a part of my imagination, but was there regardless. I showed him the large tropical house on the island, and the small pool. I showed him everything that I needed on that island. I showed him each room separately, something that was crafted in my imagination and something that I could change once I got there. I showed him that it was protected under magic which wouldn't allow anyway into the island without my permission.

I showed him what I wanted, and asked if he could deliver.

I needed an escape. I would much rather go here than into the cities of the Human Realm. It was safer, and I was entirely stupid.

I did have my moments of course, like all Humans.

This island was crafted for me, by me. It had everything I needed.

The reason I was asking him was because I knew he had greater power than me, or I think he did at least. He could easily craft these things. He was a main God. I was apparently an irrelevant one now.

"My Lady, will Master be joining?" His voice was unlike it had been when we engaged in casual conversation but I knew why he was doing this. It was so he didn't get based for following my orders.

I bite my lip with a wicked smile forming and turn my head to the already forming purple and gold whirl of the portal.

"No, thank you Thanatos. I shall see you sometime in the future." I smile to him and step forward towards the portal. I reach out my hand and touch the purple and gold magic that flew of the mirror-like-glass looking reality that was on the other side of the portal.

"Nephele, don't you dare." I turn with a cruel smile, noting that his voice was dark and deep. Lucifer stood at the end of the hallway, chest bare and eyes red with what I am guessing is anger as his inner demon came forward at the fear of me leaving.

"Don't leave the castle Nephele."

"Lucifer, if you want me to stay with you because you are 'oh-so-safe', come to me when you have a truthful answer. Only then will I return. It is up to you how long you want that to be." I know it would at least take a week for him to tell me the truth. He was scared. As was I; I just learnt I was a different person, although not a different person.

With the amount of trauma, I have received in the past two months, my period had a right to be late.

Regardless, this newer information hasn't reached the sensible part of my brain yet. Only when I was able to process this information would it become a greater issue.

"Nephele, don't do this. Please don't do this." I bite my lip and look at him with almost pleading eyes, already having made up my mind.

"Don't lie to me Lucifer, it is that simple." I let a tear finally fall from my left eye as I noted that look that Thanatos and Lucifer both held. I watched in slow motion as Lucifer ran forward. He would have reached me within a second, probably even less knowing that his demon was on the surface and was pushing for me as well.

Except, he never goes to reach me in time.

I placed one leg backwards and stepped into the new reality which I created, somewhere near Tahiti. I felt the world drop and then reform as I stepped into the island, landing my left stiletto onto the planked wood that served as a decking area. Blue stepped in at the same time as me, following me as the portal faded in front of my eyes.

Time slowed even further as I completely landed on both feet, standing straight as I watched Lucifer scream out, although no sound emitting from his parted lips as I was now by myself on this island. I let another tear fall to the pale wood I stood on, everything around me just how I imagined it.

I didn't know who my mother was. I didn't know who my father was. I didn't know who my best friend was. I didn't know who my brother was. I didn't know who Lucifer was anymore either.

Everything I knew, everything that grounded me to this world was gone. I knew nothing anymore. I didn't know my family. I didn't know my past. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I was. I didn't know who to trust and who to not.

I didn't know anything.

What do you expect from me?

The wet path the tear left on my puffed cheek was nothing to represent the whirlwinds of hurricanes I felt inside my chest in the moment.

I felt broken. Completely and utterly broken.

Part of my broken heart was in shatters because I left lucifer. The other part of my broken heart was lying in thousands of glistening beautiful but sharp and painful shard because of Lucifer.

I needed to heal.

I needed to figure what I was, and who I was before I could allow him anywhere near me.

I would not make the same mistake twice, rest assured.

I would not let him in so easily again.

I knew I should not have trusted him without thinking about the consequences.

And I now knew I needed to let him gain my trust back again. He had to work for it this time, and I wouldn't make that easy.

I didn't love him and he didn't love me. The bond that connected us would always be there, and there would always be a connection to him that described feelings far greater and beyond love, but I couldn't allow that bond to break me even more. I couldn't allow myself to depend on him in such a way when he had the ability to destroy me.

I couldn't allow the bond between us to wreak havoc on my life even more. I had to be logical and reasonable.

I didn't really care how badly this hurt him in the moment. I didn't really care about his situation, even if that was the most selfish thing I have ever said. I didn't really care how badly I just broke his heart because he broke mine first, the moment he lied to me was the moment he lost my trust.

I don't really care how bad it hurt, because he broke me first.

And with that thought, I turn around and enter the house of my dreams.

Word Count is 4752

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