Chapter 20

AVA

It’s hours later before I see him again, and my self-doubt is running away with me. He hated it. He must have hated it. He is off selling me right now because he can’t stand to see me ever again. Or he’s turning me in as part of the rebels, and I’ll be arrested any moment.

Finally, after I’ve washed and dressed in what I’ve decided to use as pajamas, there is a light knock on my door. I’m sitting in bed reading the latest borrowed book from Hannah, or at least trying to, but I put it away hastily at the knock.

“Come in,” I call out shakily.

Koza enters, looking every bit as austere as he did back at the bar, and takes slow steps toward me.

“I would like to tell you my story, Ava,” he says, the words the softest tone I’ve ever heard from him. “So, you understand exactly why I have made the choices I have. Will you let me?”

“Of course,” I reply instantly, my heart in my throat. “I would love to hear it.”

He gives a small nod, lowering himself to sit on the edge of the bed.

I lean back against the headboard, drawing my knees to my chest and resting my cheek against them.

“My kind is known as the Namora. At least, we were called that at one time. I have no parents, not in the sense you are familiar with. We are bred to be soldiers, created in batches from stored DNA on our home planet, which is now nothing more than a military establishment.

“They produce only males.

“We heal quickly, have more muscle mass than many other species, and have a pronounced sense of sight and smell. And, most importantly, we form strong bonds of loyalty if introduced at impressionable moments in our lives, genetically disposed to follow orders.

“There were fourteen in my batch, Zynett is one of only three of us left.”

I let out a small sound of surprise at this, and he gives me a small, sad smile, reaching out to squeeze my foot gently before continuing.

“The High Commander has held his position for longer than I have been breathing. His species is very long lived. He rose to his position about a decade before I was alive. They were careful to herald him at all stages of our training, ensuring that he would be the bond that anchored our loyalty. He visited us at least once a turn, giving out small trinkets to earn our favor.

“The slave trade existed before he became High Commander, but he took it much further. Anyone disgraced became a slave, and having one in your household became more common than it was before, when only the most elite could afford the luxury of a slave.”

His voice is bitter, his disgust at the practice evident in his tone and the tension in his large frame perched on the foot of my bed.

“Our batch had a caretaker. Her name was Onaxi. We had more than one, but she is the only one I remember. They were slaves, assigned to see to our needs from the time we were just small cubs. They were under orders to give us only the bare minimum of attention. But Onaxi was kind, and loved us as best she could, limited as she was by those above her. She was with us until we were ten turns of age and went out of her way to show us affection and care.

“All of us bonded to her, and I suspect it weakened the bond they tried to enforce between us and the High Commander. It was still present, but not as all-consuming as what had been managed in previous batches.

“I am not sure how she managed to conceal it for so long, but one day she was taken during the morning meal. Dragged from the barracks into the courtyard and executed. We saw it all from the windows of the dining hall.

“We were still younglings, but we were old enough and hardened enough to the point that we knew to show no reaction. To keep eating our oats and ignore that the only mother we had ever known was outside with her blood soaking the Yowli vines beneath her. None of us did anything.”

His voice is thick with regret, and I can’t help but interrupt.

“You couldn’t have stopped it, none of you could have. You were just kids.”

“I know that,” he replies, running his hand down his face. “But even still, I wonder.”

He sits up straighter, continuing his story.

“They should have anticipated that a generation raised by slaves would be loath to become the ones to enslave others, but the creatures of the universe are nothing if not short sighted.

“Ryden, our third living batchmate, is the Multic leader. After one particularly brutal battle, he simply walked away. Let himself be counted among the perished and started a new life, despite his total ignorance of the world outside our regimented training.

“I believed him to be dead until sometime later, when he simply sat down at my table at a tavern. I spilled my drink from the shock,” he looks over at me with a wry grin and I give a small chuckle.

“I had made somewhat of a name for myself back then, having just been promoted to Olean’s second. Ryden took quite a risk in outing himself to me, since by all appearances, I was the epitome of a loyal Coalition soldier. I had heard of the Multic Rebellion by then. There had been small skirmishes. Stolen supplies. But they were still small, nothing like the organization today. He asked me to join them, to remember Onaxi’s sacrifice for us and to honor her.

“I was a coward then,” he spits out, hanging his head in shame. “I told him that while I respected his cause and would do nothing to hinder him to the best of my ability, I could not get involved with a rebel plot. He just gave me a knowing grin, downed the remnants of my drink and passed me a chip with a way to contact him anonymously.

“Two turns later, the Plurians revolted, and Olean was stripped of his title. He is like a father to me, but he had a family of his own. A wife and a young daughter. They lived here and had nothing to do with the uprising on their home planet. They were punished anyway. Sold as slaves. I managed to keep Olean out of the pits, but he lost his position and his family despite decades of service to the High Commander. A few days later, I contacted Ryden. I tracked down Zynett and had him transferred here, and together the three of us built the rebellion into an organization that actually stands a chance of overthrowing the High Commander.”

I stare down at the bed cover, taking it all in, and for a few minutes neither of us speak.

Finally, when the silence has extended to an uncomfortable length, he tilts my chin up gently with one finger, forcing me to meet his eye.

“I have shared all this with you because I have bonded to you, Ava. What I feel for you, it is like nothing else I have experienced. I am consumed by thoughts of you. But my life is dangerous, and I had hoped to spare you from it. I attempted to keep my distance, to fight my draw to you, but I no longer can.”

He cups my cheek tenderly, stroking his thumb lightly over my skin.

“You do not have to stay here. You do not have to put yourself in the middle of this. I will take you to a safe place, one we built for slaves we have been able to free. It was my plan to send you there when it was safe, when the High Commander first gave you to me.”

My heart swells at his offer, but I know immediately I won’t take him up on it. I lean forward and kiss him gently, his mouth soft under mine.

“I want to help,” I tell him quietly when I pull away. “Take me with you tomorrow. And every time after. I want to stay with you.”

He kisses me once more, then runs his hand over my hair and down my arm, rising from the bed.

“Then get some sleep, little one. We leave at dawn.”