142 Bardiche? Sorry, I Meant Erza.

142 Bardiche? Sorry, I Meant Erza.

We finally made our way through the city’s gates about an hour after meeting Dias.

I quickly looked around, only to find that, the massive, towering, cylindrical building aside, the city was actually surprisingly normal. In fact, seeing it reminded me of Alessa.

『Let’s start off by checking out the Adventurer’s Guild.』

「Nn.」

We needed to sell the few materials we happened across on the way here and get ourselves a bit more info about the city’s two dungeons.

One important fact to note was that not just anyone could just head over to the dungeon and hit it up. You’d need permission and whatnot first. I figured we’d be fine though. Alessa’s Guildmaster, Klimut, had given us a permit ahead of time so we probably wouldn’t run into any major issues.

Finding the guild ended up being a relatively simple task. We managed to catch sight of it after asking people for directions and walking around for 10 odd minutes. The guild’s building was a fairly large one, which did make sense given that the city contained two dungeons.

『The doors sure are wide, huh?』

「Nn. About same as Barbra.」

「Woof.」

Barbra’s guild was quite a bit taller, but Ulmutt’s looked like it was built atop a bigger plot of land.

Entering the building made me realize just how large it really was. There were twenty different counters, and the adventurers that sought service from them were in such excess that they had to form lines.

『Holy crap, this place is just bustling with life. It’s even more lively than Barbra’s branch.』

「Nn. Amazed.」

「Woof.」

Wow, there sure are a lot of adventurers. I thought Barbra was crowded, but holy crap Ulmutt takes it to a whole new level. I mean, it makes sense given the dungeons and whatnot, but still, wow.

Fran immediately moved to the line with the least people in it. The man in front of us turned around in response. Is someone seriously about to pick a fight with us already?

I position myself to “accidentally slip out of my sheath” at any given moment.

「Just so you know, this line’s only supposed to be for E rankers.」

Turned out he was just bringing it to our attention that we might be in the wrong place.

The man briefed us on how things were organised. There were five different types of lines, each of which had four corresponding counters. The first four types were for G, F, E, and D ranked adventurers respectively, whereas the last handled everyone that ranked in at C or higher.

Fran moved over one line after hearing him out.

「Oh come on, listen to me goddamit. That one’s supposed to be for D rankers.」

「Nn?」

「I literally just told you you’re not supposed to use that line unless you’re a D ranked adventurer.」

You know, the dude who called out to us looked all intimidating and stuff, but he was actually a pretty nice guy. I mean, he did make light of Fran’s abilities and all that, but it wasn’t like he did out out of malice or anything. He’d only called out to her in the first place in order to patiently instruct on something he realized she didn’t know.

I had a feeling that this was just how things tended to be in Ulmutt. There were quite a few other younger individuals lined up around us as well, though Fran was still definitely the youngest of them all. Most of the younger crowd seemed to be about 15 years old, and there were far more of them than there were back in Alessa.

「That’s why this line.」

「Huh?」

「Currently D ranked.」

「Whaaat?」

Her proclamation seemed to have surprised not only the man that’d been giving her advice, but also the adventurers around us as well. Many had turned their heads in disbelief.

「Here.」

Fran showed the man her guild card and immediately caused his eyes to widen in shock.

「The guild card says… it’s true… Wait, what? You’re higher ranked than me?」

「Damn, seriously?」

「She’s higher ranked than me too!?」

「She must’ve cheated or something.」

「Y-Yeah, figures.」

「But what if she really is that strong?」

The adventurers around us started kicking up a fuss. Fran, however, didn’t really care at all.

「Hey! You!」

Annnnd someone tried picking a fight with us. I knew this would happen, especially with all the commotion.

「You’re a liar!」

「Not lying.」

「There’s no way a kid like you could be an adventurer! That cards probably a fake!」

「You, also kid.」

「N-No I’m not! I’m already 15!」

This was honestly pretty much the usual save for the fact that the person trying to pick a fight with us was a kid. The teenage boy glared at Fran with his face dyed a shade of bright red.

「Genuine card.」

「I-I don’t believe you!」

「Genuine.」

「T-There’s no way that’s legit! Even I’m still just G ranked!」

He refused to believe that he was in the wrong, not that I can really blame him too much seeing as how Fran being a D ranker is kind of surreal in and of itself. What to do though? Like, there’s no way we could rough him up like we usually would, seeing as how he’s just a kid and all that.

（Master, use violence?）

『Hold on.』

（Nn? Why?）

Though I thought him to be nothing but a brat, there was no way for me really judge if Fran felt the same. I honestly couldn’t tell if she thought of him a young or old seeing as how she was the younger of the two. That said, she obviously did see him as someone that annoyed her and tried to pick a fight with her either way.

『He’s just a brat, so let’s just let him off.』

（Then what do?）

『Hmmmm…』

Oh, right. We could totally just use wind magic to make him shut up for the time being. We’ll still deal with him normally if he actually tries something though.

Despite the fact that we’d went ahead and planned out what to do, we never actually ended up getting a chance to put our ideas into action.

「What’s going on here?」

Oh, it’s Miss Erza.

「Geez, are you guys causing trouble again? You boys sure are naughty.」

「――――！」

『――――！』

Both Fran and I completely froze the moment we caught sight of the person that came out from the guild’s rear. Fran, who’d always been taciturn and calm, had her eyes wide open in surprise. I feel like this might’ve been the first time I’d ever seen her in such a state. That said, I understood her sentiments. The person we caught sight of was one whose presence truly gave off a sense of impact.

「M-Miss Erza.」

「Oh my, would you happen to be the source of all this fuss, Yuuri?」

「Er… no, I’m not. It’s just that there happened to be a kid playing around inside the guild, so I was just telling them off is all.」

The boy that’d been picking a fight with Fran, Yuuri, suddenly became all obedient. He immediately began standing at attention. Likewise, all the other adventurers had stopped slouching and straightened their backs as well.

「A kid? Oh my, how adorable she is.」

「…」

『Fran』

「…」

『Fran!』

「Was just bit surprised.」

『You alright?』

「Oh my, what is it?」

It seemed that this was Fran’s first time meeting anyone like the person standing before us. Again, I couldn’t blame her since I’d totally been taken aback as well.

「Nice to meet you, my name’s Erza.」

「Fran.」

「Fran, is it? Wonderful, I do hope we get along.」

「Nn. Just one question.」

「Whatever might that be?」

「Male? Or Female?」

The man that called himself Erza took a pose as if to show off his buff ass body while also lightly pressing a finger against one of his lips. He then winked and blew a kiss in Fran’s direction. Oh god why!?

「S e c r e t.」

Secret my ass! He’s totally a dude!

Though I wanted to call him out on his bullshit, I couldn’t help but feel that it was a horrible idea to do so.

The way he was twisting his body around didn’t actually seem all that gross. In fact, it didn’t leave that bad of an impression on me at all, though I’d say that was probably mostly because of how ridiculous the rest of him appeared.

He wore heavy makeup on his cheeks, and thick eyeshadow on his eyes. His lips were covered in a red purple lipstick, and his head topped with a crimson afro. You could easily make out both his tights and muscular body even despite him wearing a layer of leather armour. Holy shit, he was a legit homo manwoman.

_______________________________________________________________

General Information

Name: Bardiche

Age: 47

Race: Human

Job: Indestructible Fighter

State: Normal

Status Level: 50/99

HP: 580

MP: 229

STR: 255

VIT: 310

AGI: 148

INT: 112

MGC: 110

DEX: 151

Skills

Transportation: Lv 3

Resistance to Environmental Conditions: Lv 5

Panic: Lv 4

Vigilance: Lv 5

Make up: Lv 6

Fist Techniques: Lv 5

Fist Arts: Lv 5

Combat Qigong: Lv 5

Regeneration: Lv 5

Sewing: Lv 3

Divine Staff Techniques: Lv 1

Divine Staff Arts: Lv 3

Resistance to Abnormal Status Conditions: Lv 6

Resistance to Mental Abnormalities: Lv 3

Staff Techniques: MAX

Staff Arts: MAX

Provoke: Lv 5

Beautification: Lv 5

Magic Resistance: Lv 4

Cooking: Lv 3

Vigour Manipulation

Muscles of Steel

Kobold Killer

Dulled Sense of Pain

Pain Conversion

Innate Skills

Enhanced Resistances

Titles

Ulmutt’s Guardian

Kobold Killer

One Who has Overcome Pain

Equipment

Guardian’s Mace

Scarlet Panther’s Leather Armour

Rainbow Silk Garments

God of Beauty’s Sandals

Charming Earrings

_______________________________________________________________

I felt an incredible urge to complain about a bunch of different stuff. Like, firstly, his goddamn name was Bardiche, not Erza. Secondly, how the hell did he look like he was 30!? That said though, both the aforementioned aspects paled before the one thing I really wanted to complain about, one of his skills.

Pain Conversion: Converts some pain to pleasure.

That skill right there was a masochist’s best friend. Wait, does this mean that there’s skills specialized for sadists as well? Like maybe something that boosts one’s stats when bullying people or inflicting pain or something?

Either way, it seemed like the masochistic homosexual before us was one of the most powerful people I’d ever met after reincarnating.

Man, appraising him sure wore me the hell out… That’s the first time that’s happened…

「Are you the same little lady that happened to get into a fight just outside the city’s gates?」

「Nn.」

「Would you mind coming with me then? The guildmaster told me to bring you his way if I happened to find you.」

「Guildmaster?」

「Yuppers. He seems to have some business with you. Would you mind?」

Did he want to scold us or something? I don’t really think what we did was serious enough for us to need to have the guildmaster personally see to us.

Well, either way, it was one of the Guildmaster’s personal requests, so it’s not like we could actually turn it down at all.

「Okay.」

「Thankies. I’ll be taking her then everyone.」

「Sure thing.」

「Oh, and Yuuri, you should be a bit more vigilant, you know? You’ll die the moment you set foot in a dungeon if you’re bad at judging how strong people are.」

「Huh? What?」

「Over here Fran~」

「Nn.」

Fran followed Bardiche… Erza? Uhhh… I guess I’ll go with Erza, whatever.

Fran followed Erza as she led her in over to the Guildmaster.

「Hmmm hmm hm hm hmmm hmmm」

Oh god why! Stop shaking your ass while you walk around goddammit!