Flirting Without Dick Pics - Part 2.5 - Chapter 8

FEBRUARY 12, 2025

Jack

Ceci, how you doin? I would like to give you a slug in the shoulder. A friendly slug. You know, like, "Dude, what up?!" Then, maybe pull your hat down and mess up your hair. Some stupid boy stuff to break the mood.

How about this? I'll just babble jiberish in a misguided attempt to cheer you up and show I care:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and the dogs are snoring on your bed, so you jump on them and mush them up, rubbing their fuzzy bellies, and squishing them till they buck and want to wrestle.  Or same thing with a girl, but she's all sleepy and groany and retreats under the covers till she banishes you with strict orders not to return without coffee.  Or babies. Fat little babies with chubby arms and chubby cheeks.  You know how you want to eat them up and blow raspberries on their bellies. Well that's the way I feel about you sometimes. Specially with all the extra February sunlight, more sun everyday. I'm pretty sure I could eat you up. Maybe not the bones, or teeth. Brain tissue would also be weird. But everything else seems like it would be delicious.

I tell you this truth not because there appears to be any reasonable likelihood that it will play out in the near future. Sadly, no. I tell you because if I knew that some female was so desirous that she wanted to eat me, I would take that as a compliment and enjoy a small ego and morale boost. A net gain.

Anyway, hoping your 2025 does not continue to suck more than necessary.

Ceci

Thank you for the spirit boost. I'm under the covers with a hat on,  shivering. Everything and now the flu is in the house.

Jack

yeeeesh.

Ceci

But wait there's puking...dude I'm so sick right now.

Jack

Oh God, oh God, that's so HOT!! Tell me more!!

Ceci

Hahahaha!

I have a fever!! Woohoo!!

Jack

I think I'm becoming aroused.

Thinking of playing doctor and administering an emergency ice bath...

But check this out. Dry winter weather. Picked up a call on our business phone. Static electricity zapped out of my left ear canal, across ear hairs, into the handset, and blew out our phone. Fried it. We're running around the office cannibalizing phones to build one that works.

Ceci

!!!!!

FEBRUARY 13, 2025

Jack

Sorry. I was distracted by snow, beautiful and gorgeous snow! 10 to 30 inches headed for the western Rockies, ground zero Southwest Colorado.

10 TO 30!!

At 13, the Air Force made a napalm strike in my throat, but later, medical professionals figured out it was just a bad cold. I had to be quarantined in my Grandma's spare room. Then word got through that a ski trip was afoot. I immediately faked health and hooked a ride to Mt. Moriah. Direct contact with snow and sitting next to a cute girl that I didn't have the courage to talk to, instantaneously & completely cured me. No lie. Not just better, but a raised-from-the-dead, walked-on-water, fish-and-loaves kind of miracle cure. Praise snow! Praise girls!! Anyway, all that snow and cute chick power I now send to you. For free. Flu and puke, and all other illnesses, I COMMAND YOU TO BE GONE!!

30 INCHES, CECI, 30!!

Storm upgraded to 3 to 5 Feet, WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!

Are you cured yet?

Ceci

👎no

Jack

crap.

Sending a second dose. Run those fluids, girl. Did you try sitting next to a cute chick?

Ceci

I hear Michigan is a hotbed of this flu.

Jack

But on the upside, are you still vomiting?

Ceci

[no response]

Jack

Oh, wait a minute. This is one of those rules my sisters should have told me: Never ask a woman if she's bent over a toilet puking.

Sorry.

Ceci

No puking, but a dizziness that won't quit. I think that's why I puked a couple times. Felt like I just got off the tilt a whirl.

Jack

ugh....

Sorry. Driving.

Writing now because by morning, I will be long gone. Justin and his buddies wired a funky cabin in the wilderness near Creede, Colorado, the very center of the storm. I'm driving in to set up. Six of us splitting the fees, but I still get the honor of cooking.

Every inch an adventure, driving into a hemispheric blizzard, through white outs, and over passes under 14,000 foot peaks.  All to surf down a mile high wave of chest-deep snow.

Just got word, now 7 dudes are in. Haven't heard if any are girls, but sometimes one or two rough and tumble ladies show up, amped, irrepressible grins, and shouldering bags of gear.

I miss Ruby [Jack's daughter].

Wish you were here.

❤️

Ceci

❤️!!!

Ceci

[Ceci is typing, but Jack is deep in the mountains]

FEBRUARY 14, 2025

Jack

Windy

And happy Valentine's Day.

Ceci

And now go on out there and get lucky!!

FEBRUARY 15, 2025

Jack

I haven't exactly been staying home and washing my hair - the beauty in Montana alone went three years - but thank you.

FEBRUARY 17, 2025

Jack

Slept 11 hours, the most in decades. Need to run to work, save bad guys, and fatten the retirement account.

BUT, are we cool? I really don't know what we are, but whatever we are, are we cool?  Because I feel some dissonance.

I'm not actually a slut.  Long ago, I was, when life was like an episode of The Monkees with unknown girls jumping out of closets and breaking into our house, 3am, drunk, demanding sex (thank God I was orthodox on protection). On the other hand, if you are worried about me pining away while you do your best to survive and sustain your marriage, don't.  Professionally and personally, I'm doing great.  Healthwise, with an afternoon nap, as robust as 25. And sexually, let's have a short adult conference about sex: There's all this internet traffic about the absence of "high quality men". As somebody who might be one of these endangered creatures, YES, we are scarce because (1) We make smart picks. And once we pick, we stick, and (2) We aren't out there hitting on every random cutey because we know what we want. And even if we didn't, we still wouldn't hit everything because then we would have to shut down a bunch of girls which would be mean, and we don't like to be mean to girls. In contrast, fuckboys hit on everything, fuck everything, and ghost everything because they don't care.

Anyway, at our age, I have one shot left. I'm playing for Ceci or better and I'm not a fuckboy.

And since I'm on a role:

You are a firecracker of activity, ingenuity, and kindness, but lately on a detour: [the editor has redacted a complex of serious illnesses]. You have me seriously worried. It may be a congenital defect, but the Ceci who puts everyone ahead of herself needs to take a break (Mom puts on the oxygen mask first, then takes care of the kids and other hangers-on). Please figure it all out in Detroit or Colorado or Canada or France or somewhere. Please.

❤️

Ceci

❤️