14. Love You From A Distance

I still see your face when I go to sleep

I'll always love you, will you always love me?

I hate that all these memories are so persistent

It's better to love you from a distance

Paige

"You really fucked up.. i- i couldn't even tell you as her best friend how you can fix this..." Caitlin sighed at the other end of the call.

I look at myself in the mirror where i barely could recognize me.

who was I?

"Cait.. i don't even know what to say.. Let alone be able to fix it.." I sigh putting my head into my hands, "Everything was so good.. it felt like..."

"Normal?" Caitlin chuckles softly, "Jenna was saying the same thing earlier..."

In one sentence I felt my whole world crash.

"All i gotta tell you man is don't bother her, let her figure herself and the situation out without you being involved.. We know Jenn, she doesn't hold grudges but this one hits home when you're saying what everyone on the media is saying as well..."

"I'm just afraid to lose her Cait..."

"Aren't we all P? Listen there was a time where i pissed Jenna off the the max our freshmen year and she didn't talk to me for —"

"Please don't say months."

"Months.." Caitlin sighed, "But she was immature and a freshmen— she didn't know how to control her own feelings in the moment, but she's mature now, grown, if you mean as much as I think you do to her— she won't completely cut you out."

"But how am i suppose to be a supporting actor in her life when she barely wants me in it."

"You have to love her from a distance P."

I sigh into the phone trying to keep my head on straight without it simply blowing up.

"You can't stress yourself out P.. Focus on you and I'll try my best to talk to her okay? For now though you need to step away, maybe look at things from another angle.." Caitlin stops to think, "support from a distance — protect from a distance. I know i would — Id watch every impulsive move that girl makes if i could to protect her. But you need to let her do this and figure it out on her own time and terms.."

I knew Caitlin was right but part of me fought believing her — part of me also felt like this was a dream as i constantly pinched myself to desperately wake up from this nightmare.

How could I just watch—

"Paige?"

"sorry yeah i'm still here.." I spoke into the phone before putting it on speak to slip my practice jersey on.

"I know it's going to be hard but Jenna means no harm.."

I knew that too— this was all my fault, if i was Jenna i wouldn't even give myself the time of day.

"But a part of her heart is engraved with your name P... we all know it, maybe you two don't but when the times right things will fall into place.."

"I really do hope so.. Thanks for calling Cait... and not coming here to rip my head off.."

"See that was an option but murder doesn't look too good on a resume..— that and i figured the last thing you need is someone telling you off" She chuckles, "anything for you guys P.. Just don't drive yourself crazy.."

"No promizes... bye Cait."

"Catch you on the flip P..."

I let out a shaky breath as the phone call ends before my eyes flicker to the very photo tapped to my wall.

The picture of us.

How am i going to do this...

Jenna

"Wanted to get some shots in before practice?" A voice echos behind me stopping me from shooting the ball.

"see who's following who now?" I say lightly out of breath looking up at Blake as he takes the ball from my hands.

"What's up with you?"

I shake my head blinking the tears from my eyes, "Nothing just a long—"

"i saw the video.."

"Yep.." I pop the P before picking at my nails, my thumb already having some dry blood from before.

Anxiety.

"Brutal.."

"Blake if your head to fuck around I-"

"Woahhh calm down killa..." He chuckles shaking his head, "I just wanted to make sure your alright.."

"Well.. you did.. i'm here.. goodbye.." I say bluntly.

"Mia said you weren't answering her texts— you are not an easy girl to find Jenna Midow.."

"What's that suppose to mean."

"I've been looking for you since this morning."

"Morning?"

"7am.. once the video came out— i was going to DM you but i figured you may have either thrown your phone into a lake or don't wanna go on social media.."

I chuckle softly shaking my head.

"There's that smile.."

"Well, you definitely got that right— I don't even have my phone on me.."

"Figures.. Here let me take your mind off things."

"I have practice.." I sigh pointing out the obvious.

"I meant later.."

"and what does that mean?"

"Let me take you out.. on a real date or actually — it doesn't have to be a date.." I roll my eyes before walking to the bench as he follows close behind me. "no drinks, no drunk dancing, no making people jealous.." He smiles pushing my shoulder softly making my cold heart beat softly, "just me and you — and a movie... Buddies.."

Will i regret this?

I bite my lip before taking the ball back from him, "will there be popcorn?"

"as much as you want.."

"and ice cream?"

He chuckles softly looking down at me, "anything you want Midow."

I give him a soft smile before nodding, "One chance."

"That's all i need beautiful" He smirks winking at me before the team starts to flood the gym for practice, "i better — " He points towards the door smiling making me blush.

"Yeah i think so.."

"See you later?"

"absolutely."

Maybe this is how it was suppose to be..

*3 hours later"

"Are you kidding me Paige? why wouldn't you pass! Nika is on your ass like a piranha— get your head out of your ass and get back on this court because i have NO idea where you are right now!" Geno screams at Paige as sweat drips down all our foreheads, "Water— two mins GO! before i change my mind."

"What the fuck crawled up his ass" I mumble to Ashlynn making her shrug before looking over at my shoulder at the blonde who continued to shoot refusing to get water.

"Hey i heard about... everything are you okay?" Ashlynn patted my back as i look towards the first year.

"I'll get there — right now i gotta focus on getting passed you though" I chuckle softly hitting her shoulder as she's my guard.

We walk back onto the court as Geno looks at his watch shaking his head, I could feel the heat radiating off the blonde as she stood behind me.

Close behind me.

I roll my eyes before taking a step forward creating distance between us two before looking at Geno, distracting me from looking over my shoulder.

All practice i've been avoiding Paige — but it nor easy when your on the same team...

"Alright 40 free throws — get them all in a row you can leave, you don't then you can stay here all night if you need to... grab a partner and get going..."

"Carol— you wanna?"

"I'm sorry i'm already with Ice.."

"Nika?" I give her puppy eyes before she gives me a small smirk.

"Of course little one cmon!" She smiles putting her arm over my shoulder and leading us to an open hoop.

Looking over my shoulder as I watch Paige and Kk goes one for one— but Paige missing hers after..

one miss..

two miss..

three...

I could see the defeat in her face as she puts her hands on her hips and dips her head down before looking my way. Before our eyes could meet i look towards the hoop shooting.

39..

38...

This was going to be a long year..