36. The Man Who Can't Be Moved

I know it makes no sense but what else can I do?

And how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

Jenna

I collapse on my bed exhusted, i couldn't tell if it was from the time changes in Europe or the fact that i'm not used to playing this many games in a week since my injury. although I miss the exhaustion, the drive, the power you feel when a sport you love takes up your entire life especially when it's the moment when you can enjoy every part of it. I forgot how much I missed this sport, after getting injured, and sitting the bench for the rest of the season at Iowa I was worried that my love for the game would diminish but out here playing with people that I love it only grew stronger. It showed me how much I really did miss being on that court.

I'm being honest with myself how much I miss being on that court with Paige, it was no matter what was going on in our lives. The minute we stepped on the court. It was something different. That connection was always still there.

I clear my throat softly as paige walks into the room, looking up for my phone to give her a small smile not forgetting the moment we had yesterday , we had yet to talk about it, or even talk in general. It was like a weird silence better the two of us that we haven't gotten used to, and may never will. I'm sure neither of us knew what to say. It's almost like we were beating around the bush too hard, chasing each other like kids that can't keep up with each other.

"hi" look at her as she throws her bag on into the bed.

" hey" she gives me a soft smile, making me chuckle as she throws some stuff into her travel bag.

"hi.." I blush softly sitting up from my bed to face her.

"hey.." she chuckles as she looks down at her her hands picking at her nails, something she does when she's nervous. It looks like we are in the same boat just didn't know what to say. if someone was watching the two of us they'd probably be screaming at us telling us to just say what we really wanted to say.

"h-" I started before paige shakes her head, " what's wrong P don't like the hey game?"

"If all we're gonna say is hello to each other I'd rather just stay silent" she chuckles joking, " you're such a pain in my ass you know that"

I nod smiling, knowing she was joking with me to get on my nerves, trying to make me talk before she could break a silence that we didn't know we both had between each other , " If I'm a pain in the ass. What are you? "

" how do you always have the best comebacks?"

" you know we have been best friends for years right? you're literally the queen of sassy comebacks.."

" I'm not Midow.."

" oh, and that's why Coach calls you paige Kardashian?"

Paige chuckles before folding a pair of pants and putting it back into her bag, I get up cautiously, walking to my packed bag, picking up her folded sweatshirt I had borrowed before handing it to her.

" I believe this is yours"

" oh, yes, the sweatshirt thief.."

" you know what, it was there, and I couldn't find mine.."

" it's funny that you still have the same excuses."

" what do you mean??" I chuckle sitting on her bed, looking up at her as she packs her bag,

" now don't look at me like that"

" I have no idea what you're talking about.."

" when we were kids used to steal my sweatshirt all the time, and say the exact same thing " oh, paige, I couldn't find mine" Meanwhile, it was in your bag, the entire time. Remember I caught you, shoving it in there before you took mine."

She was right.

Something about her scent just made me feel comfortable, almost safe in a way, like when I knew she wasn't near when i needed her, it was my own personal way to feel her close to me.

" Well, it's not an excuse this time—"

it is..

"oh right..."

" I swear, I just couldn't find my sweatshirt and your locker was right next to mine."

" what a coincidence." she smirked, handing me back the sweatshirt, " Keep it, I have plenty"

Hesitating slightly, I look up at her .

" paige what are we doing?" I shake my head, finally, breaking the silence that held a weight down on both of our chest, I could hear her breathing quicken right before it got stuck in the middle of her throat, like the comment i had made shot right through her chest, knowing exactly what I was talking about,  she turned to the mirror not being able to look at me.

"i- i'm not sure if I know what you mean.."

Fear. It's evident in her voice..

" paige what are we doing?" I repeat making her turn around.

" we can't Jenna..."

" here we go with you making excuses.." I say softly.

" I'm not making an excuse," she turns to face me, leaning on the counter, " we can barely be friends for a week without wanting to tear each other's head off, what makes you think we can be together atleast right now?"

My heart drop slightly I couldn't tell the change in her voice, but I felt it in the air. What did she mean?

" this isn't making any sense.."

" it never did between us Jenna"

" makes sense? Paige why is everyone around me telling me things about you and me— why does everyone else know us before we even do! can you see what this is doing to us? Maybe that's why we can't be friends for fucking week because we can barely communicate as it is, what is going on on what are we doing?"

Paige shaking her head, in that moment I wish I can read her mind. the tension in the room builds as she takes a step towards me, I look up at the blonde as the silence creates a distance between us that I never knew that was possible.

" I don't wanna rush things just because — I'm not gonna ruin it again, you have a lot of figuring out to do with Blake and I'm not gonna get caught in the middle of that, and I have a lot of figuring out to do in terms of what I'm feeling. It's been years since we've seen each other, we have never fought like the way we have, I want to rebuild the things we had before we go off and create another chapter."

I nod understanding what she saying, but truly finding it hard to except. We haven't been us in a while, in terms of being best friends. Yeah sure we've said it a lot, but it never truly felt that way.

" you know I kinda miss my annoying best friend..."

" yeah.." she chuckled softly, taking my hand in hers caressing the top of my hand with her thumb, " and she kinda misses her pain in the ass.."

" so best friends?" I smile getting up from her bed before sticking my hand out to shake hers.

" best friends..." She's whispers, looking down at me, I didn't realize when I got up how close we were, my bottom lip quivers as it longs for hers, I swallow hard, unable to look away from each other in this moment it was just us, nobody else. Her hand comes up to tuck the piece of hair that has fallen into my face from my messy bun. "best friends..." she whispering again, I wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or me in the situation.

I bite my lips softly as I look up at her, her blue eyes darken as they look into mine.

this is so bestfriends of us...

not.

"Paige -" I started before she takes a step back for me.

" we should get going down to the lobby before the bus leaves without us." she says bluntly, for some reason it's almost like I can hear heart breaking before she grabs her bag and walks out of the room.

" you'll never know how much I really do love you." whisper before grabbing my bag and following shortly behind her.