Chapter 5: Another place entirely

I’m back in town. But everything is… different. Weightless.

I glide towards the shelter, my chest free and open. Townspeople are bobbing and weaving through the busy paths, meeting friends and family, playing with their kids.

I pace leisurely as the shelter shines ahead. I pause on the uneven ground, and stand firm on the path to feel the warm breeze. The sun lowers for the evening, draping the town in rich hues of orange and red. My smile brightens, my chest is free. I don’t look over my shoulder, nor feel the looming threat of violence, because right here is safe. It’s home.

The light ahead offers a scene that I’ve seen many times before. I watch them like a play. Mei confronts Eve, Eve paces around, assuring her that she’s fine, there’s nothing to worry about, Mei throws her hands up in frustration, and they feud.

Watching them bicker settles me, like a familiar dance that I know the moves to. No matter what happens, the two of them always feel like home.. They’re lost in each other, displaying their affection in their own ways. It feels cruel to interrupt.

I dip into the alley behind the shelter and out of sight, and take a seat against the back exit door. The playground sits idly, its cool breeze nudges me forward, gently. I take in the details ahead and breathe.

The wooden swing set moans with the wind— wearing decay like a cloak. The snow-covered rocks rest lonely beside one another, cold and damp. The wooden plank that is now too splintered to climb sits to my right, and the steps to the top of the metal slide that have snapped in two are straight ahead. I hoist myself up, open the fence, and approach the wooden plank. I rest my hand on its face and let the familiarity of it tingle through my fingertips. My hand looks different now compared to the small, uncalloused hand that rested here once. The plank has seen better days, too. I look up and peer through my office window on the left, and suddenly, I escape to somewhere else entirely.

“Go play, honey”

I see my Mother’s warming eyes look at her, a nine year old girl in a wool hat and gloves, brown braids sticking out on either side. She’s shy but beaming with curiosity. I know her, but she doesn’t exist within me anymore. I can feel her presence but I can’t reach her, not fully. The void shatters me.

My mother is standing over the wooden desk and smiling out the window, signaling for her to go play. Children are rocking back and forth nearly sick on the swingset, while others skip around the slide and shriek with delight. She gives my mother a beaming smile that rocks me backward, and I see her stroll behind the playground to the wooded area. I follow her and lose myself in awe. She explores the woods that tower her, and I see a smile brighten as she feels the snow hit her rosy cheeks. I yearn to be with her, exploring the lands beyond, side by side. She’s an archaeologist discovering new artifacts, examining them with rigor, using her fingers as a magnifying glass. Now she’s stuck in a terrible blizzard, and has to make a fire with fallen branches for warmth. I hold onto every movement and just… watch. Snow is falling in troves now, glistening blue, and she begins to inspect the individual flakes in search for a match. She’s so lost in thought I don’t think a catastrophe could bring her out, until suddenly, a little girl with a ferocious presence approaches.

“Hey!”

“Hey! You! Yeah, you. Whatcha doing back here?”

“Oh, ummm…I’m looking at snowflakes.”

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“Looking at snowflakes? That’s interesting. What can you see? I see white specs, but that’s just me. I see you back here a lot. I live above the sewing shop across the street, my mom works there, too.”

“Mine works at the shelter, the one right up the hill. She takes me to work with her sometimes.”

“My mom does the same. She tells me I can either come downstairs and sew for her, or I can go find something to do outside. I HATE sewing, so I choose the outside. She doesn’t keep track of where I go, I just know to return when the sun starts to lower.”

“I’m supposed to be at the playground, but I come back here to play, instead. I think it’s more fun, but my mom wishes I’d make a friend.”

“Hey, you know, you never answered my question.”

“Oh… uh, which one?

“The one about snowflakes. About what you see.”

“Um, well, I guess I see different things each time. Every flake is similar but different, too. I want to find two that match, or maybe even three. It’s impossible, I think, but looking for it is still fun.”

“It sounds fun. It also sounds hard. Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure, I guess…”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m… Jo”

“Hi Jo, I’m Eve. Can I look at snowflakes with you?”

My boots are glued to the ground beneath me. I want to bottle up their innocence and shield them with it to create an impenetrable barrier. I want to reach for them, I want to hold them both and warn them of the future, but I can’t.

A gentle tap against my check jerks me awake. Damp cobblestones press against my spine. Where am I? My vision clears as I dip my chin to look around. I’m laying in the middle of town. A crowd of people hover over me as murmurs rise from every direction.

“Are you okay? “She is pale white, someone call the healer…”

I shoot up but my wobbly legs give in. A woman grabs my shoulder to balance me, but when her hand meets me she jerks it away, “ma’am— you are extremely warm…”

She looks at me and then down at her hand, and then back at me again.

The crowd steps back, slowly. They gawk at me but nod at each other. My skin is hot, despite the freezing temperatures.

“I’m okay, really, sorry for the alarm,” I reply, straightening my stance.

From a distance, I hear a call.

“Jo, JO!”

I look up to the familiar voice in the distance: Eve and Mei. They’re okay. They’re alive.

“Are you okay? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. How did you get here?”

I’m blocks away from the revolt. Closer to the Dominion, now.

How did I get here?

“Fuck.” I grab Eve and squeeze, “are you two okay?”

I motion for Mei to join us, she’s hiding behind Eve. Shame drapes her face.

“We’re fine.” Eve adds with a sigh of relief.

“I’m.. so sorry Jo.” Mei adds, her eyes at her feet “I shouldn’t have left you. I thought you were behind me…”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you ran. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Her eyes are damp, but I lift her chin and reassure her. “Seriously, I’m happy you’re okay. Both of you.”

I glance along the path. No Enforcers are in sight. They must’ve returned to the flatlands for the evening.

“What happened?” I ask. They look at me like I’m crazy. “you don’t remember?”

I do, I think. But I’m here. I’m not in The Order’s custody. Maybe I’m mistaken…

“No, no I don’t…” I affirm. Mei stays quiet and studies me, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Things were getting out of hand.” Eve answers. “But The Ranges released a blinding light — A force of Magic, people say.. The Enforcers surrendered after that.”

“Was anyone hurt?”

“Dozens of paralysis victims — but it wore off once everything ceased. Her force came at just the right time…..”

I nod.

I look out to The Ranges, and feel her cool breeze against my cheek.

My cheek. It was smashed – and now its completely healed.

How?

I breathe, searching for it beneath me. It still hums, subtle but present. I can feel it but I can’t place it – it lies somewhere deep, hidden behind a wall of unknown.

Was that all a hallucination?

“Come on – we’ll take you home.”