She’s calling

“The hinges are fine, but the locks are completely corroded. I’ll be back tomorrow to replace them,” Leo says coolly. His blonde hair drapes to his shoulders, half-tied back. His blue eyes shine with ease, too lighthearted for the weight he carries. His welding apron smells of rich leather with a hint of sweat, stone hammers peer out of the pockets that rest just above his thighs.

His boy-next-door face is soothing after the razor tight tension earlier. He took over his fathers Forge after The Order seized it from his mother about a year ago — a sad story, really. The Forge is right next to the shelter, so I see him pretty often.

I’m spaced out, still thinking of Colin. Of his parting words. He raced out quickly after, claiming business, and I just stood there speechless. His words replay in my head, sometimes slow, sometimes dangerously fast. I’ll never get them out of my head.

“I can’t seem to find myself anywhere else, Jo.”

Leo waves his hand in front of my face.

“Hello?? Earth to Jo!”

I snap back.

“Yeah, good. Tomorrow works. Can you do something to keep the door shut at least? It’s cold.”

“It’ll stay closed, just can’t lock.”

“That’s fine,” I say, but his brows furrow.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, if someone needs a place to stay, why not let them,” I say. He smiles and nods.

He packs up his things to leave, rambling about who knows what. I listen to every four words but that doesn’t get me far. I just nod and pretend until the words stop. He faces me and smiles.

“Later Jo!”

Then, he disappears into the corners of town. His musky scent follows suit.

~

I tread down the hill and approach room six, the very last unit in our temporary living quarters. It has a three windowed nook on the side that peers out to the alpine treeline – a sight for sore eyes, and a welcomed respite from the bustling views of the town out front. It was always meant to be a temporary space for those in need, but one resident arrived and she stayed for good. Mei.

I glance through those side-windows, the middle one immersed in fog, and see a lit candle glistening through the window, its flame shimmering with the rhythm of her. She is tucked into her chair sipping on tea, gazing out to the treeline. I take in the same view, hoping to bask in the beauty alongside her, but a certain longing fills her eyes, and now I’m stuck on her.

Her seafoam green gaze could pierce through these windows and shatter them, I think. I study her movements, but the image of the Enforcer pulling her ankle races through my head. My chest tightens, but that cool breeze brushes my cheek at just the right time. The breath in my chest releases. I take a few steps forward, and tap on her window.

“Tap tap*

With my hands tunneling my mouth, “Hey, you!”

Mei startles, her eyes quickly on guard. Her tea crashes to the ground and shatters, but the fear escapes her when sees me howling with laughter on the other side of the window — her eyes immediately brighten.

“Shit Jo, you scared me! Don’t do that!”

Her forced tone is cheery and light, the laughing spreads..

“Come let me in,” I say, catching my breath with a smile glued. She wipes her over-sized shirt with exaggeration, making a point. Her feet, covered in thick fuzzy socks, tip-toes around the mess. She’s still giggling.

“Yeah yeah, coming…”

She wrestles with the door, yanking until it blasts open. The hinges wail in protest.

“Jeez. You think this door needs new hinges? Leo is fixing two and four, so let me know.”

“The door is good as new, you just have to whisper sweet nothings to it – let it open for you, instead of forcing it. See?” She casually veers the door closed and opens it again, the cry of the hinges even louder this time.

“Uh huh… okay. I’ll have him stop by tomorrow,” a swirl of snow gusts through the alley, “Fuck, it’s freezing. Close the door.”

I clap my heels together and snow sprays everywhere.

“Thanks for that, a second mess. Really nice,” she quips.

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it,” I glide towards her kitchenette and pull out one of her kitchen rags that has sunflowers all over.

“Not that one, you’ll ruin it,” she says, shuffling to her linen shelves in the washroom. Sunflowers were her mom’s favorite, I should’ve known.

“Use this,” she says, holding out a yellow towel that was once white.

“Drop this into the laundry-shoot later with whatever else you have. I’ll take care of it,” I say, wiping the floor with my feet.

~

After the messes were cleaned and tea was remade, we sit on her worn sofa that I found left on the street many years back. She spot cleaned it and sewed some of the bursted seams, but it’s in pretty rough shape. The burning candles masks it’s stale scent.

We both face each other, waiting for the other to speak first. I start.

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“Eve told me you weren’t feeling well today. I wanted to check on you.”

She sighs and sinks into the cushion.

“Yesterday was a lot,” she replies, looking away.

“It was a lot, I know. But we’re all okay, and that’s what matters.”

We share a knowing glance, because my words aren’t convincing and I know that. Our world is still wilting, and with the new World Law, we won’t be okay for long.

“I should’ve fought. I should’ve defended you. I can’t believe I just..ran.”

“Running was what saved both of us. I mean it.”

Her green eyes well, she looks up and shakes her head. Palms to face. I inch closer and throw my arm over her shoulder.

“I could’ve lost you — both of you,” she says through her tears.

“You’ve been through enough, you don’t need to carry this, too,” I reply.

The silence speaks, guiding us somewhere else. We rise from the sofa and approach the side window, hands intertwined, gazing towards the path that led her here. An unimaginable journey of pain, of loss. Hers rising to the surface, now.

“That’s what I did to my parents, too. I left them.”

The air sinks. Time stops.

“No you didn’t.”

“I did, Jo.” The sobs pour out of her, heavy and deep. “They were trying to fight, and I just left them to die.”

My heart plummets to the floor. Many of the voyagers died within their own borders, but most perished during the last one hundred kilometers.

“We were so close. I could see Drinn.”

She reaches her arm out, replaying the same scene in her head. I swallow the pain down for her and watch.

“They were hypothermic, Mei. There is nothing you could have done.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” she sobs, “I should have died with them.”

A dagger piercing my heart, sending swells of sorrow through every inch of my body. I shift my gaze from the world outside, and hold her while she sobs into my arms.

More memories of her arrival flood in, a reminder of how close she was to dying in front of me.

“Eve, get Frances, now – bring her here while I get Mei inside.”

“Fuck, okay,” she replies, frantically.

I grab beneath her arms and feel her weight begin to bear on me.

“Mei, can you stand up for me?”

Mei nods, and leans against me. She wails at each step— the visceral tone sending shudders through me.

“Okay, you’re okay. The infirmary is right down the hall, can you make it?”

Mei winces and collapses.

“You’re so close, just a few more steps. Talk to me. What hurts?”

“My feet. I… I haven’t looked at them.” I look at her boots, holes are worn to her toes.

“Okay, lay here. We have a Healer coming.” I grab three blankets from the closet and wrap them around her. Her lips chatter uncontrollably, her face goes gray. Her feet are definitely infected.

My panic raises but I keep my breath even. I start to untie her boots.

“I need to take your boots off, okay? I need eyes on your wounds.”

Her voice fades, her breath unsteady, “No, it hurts...”

I loosen the ties, ready to pull. I don’t have the supplies to numb the pain—and Frances is still minutes out. I make a judgement call.

”I know it does, but it’ll be over soon. Count backwards with me from three, ready?”

In unison, “three….two….one.”

I pull, hard. Mei faints from the pain.

My breath is gone, I may faint too — I’ve never seen anything so horrific. The soles of her feet are worn to the bone, her wool socks weave through her open wounds like a tangled web – unable to tell what is sock, skin, and bone.

Eve bursts through the door.

“I have Frances, she’s prepping the Elixr now. How is she? Mei?”

“Unconscious – her feet are deeply infected, and I’m sure the other travelers are, too. She needs help that I’m not sure we can offer her.”

“Move, please,” Frances storms through. “Is she awake? Honey, you need to wake up – please drink this.”

She squeezes her cheeks and taps them on either side, but Mei remains deathly still.

“She’s not moving,” Eve says.

“Eve, please go outside and wait out front for the other travelers, see if any are more critical than Mei,” I reply.

“But she–”

“Please, go. Now.”

I can’t bear witnessing her watch this girl die in front of us.

“Jo– I don’t have enough of this for everyone,” Frances says. “It’ll take a miracle to save everyone, should their condition be this severe. I must ration based on need.”

I look at her pallid face fading away.

“She is critical, she will die without it. Soon. Please — administer it now.”

I can’t bear to watch her die in front of me, either. Frances takes one last look at her, agreeing.

“Very well.”

Mei’s breath is painfully shallow. Frances syringes ounces of the Elixr and carefully administers two drops directly to her tongue.

The room goes still — Mei’s breath falls. The seconds feel like years, we wait but there’s no change. Frances declares, “I’m afraid she’s—“

Suddenly, a rumble from at our feet begins to rise. the ground shaking violently. Frances and I brace against the walls next to us, reaching at anything for balance.

“What’s happening, what’s happening?” I look out the office window, desperate. “Frances…”

Slabs of rock detonate from The Ranges as if stricken with dynamite, sending shockwaves through the snow, forcing it to thrash from side to side. The convulsions crescendo, rattling the foundation of my being, crazing through my veins. Frances lets out a cry before collapsing, scrambling beneath my desk for cover.

I lunge forward, gripping the infirmary table for balance, but I fail and crash onto Mei who lies perfectly still. I shield her as chunks of debris fall from above. My hands instinctively cover my head, the force beneath is relentless. Then, She roars.The sound rips through like a war cry, powerful, uncontainable. I look out, a sea of snow barrels down.

“An avalanche!” Frances cries.

Mei dives forward, gasping for air. The Elixr rinsing through her blood like a current.

“Jo?” Mei looks at me, eyes red. The memory fades, but never dies.

“I’m here,” I reassure, “just thinking.”

She nods, sniffling.

Slowly, her heaving chest stills. I run my hands through her golden-red hair, and speak from the depths of my heart.

“I know nothing can heal what you’ve lost. But finding you saved me, those years ago. You were like the piece I never knew was missing, and I’m thankful for finding that piece every day.”

Mei nods and wipes her tears. It’s not the same, of course it’s not. But everything I said is true and I want her to know that.

Her puffy eyes look up, rinsed in sorrow. Exhausted.

“You can’t keep protecting us. It’s too heavy a weight for one to carry, especially a small thing like you,” she barely winks, but I see it.

I smirk, “I’m not a beacon of strength. I feel like a fucking mess, actually.”

We both giggle. Because yeah, we all are…

“You’re a lovely mess, though. And you saved my life. That’s pretty cool.”

Her eyes flicker with a sense of calm, of release. She takes my hands and squeezes them, letting me know she’s here.

“I’m here to protect you, too,” she says.

Her window creaks open by something invisible. The cool air rushes in, but we don’t jump up. We don’t even move. We just wait, and feel the breeze flow through us. Mei lifts her chin, eyes wide, and points.

“Jo, look –”

The alpine trees sway to the rhythm of the lands, our breath syncs with them. Their roots older than time shudder beneath, jolting with life. Mei’s smile stretches far and wide, a smile that both haunts me and holds me still.

I gaze towards the horizon, the base of The Ranges covered by the tree line, but Her peaks rising above. A flash of blue lights up the sky, cracking my chest open. A sign of life, of will.

We sit until the melody fades, and the trees still.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

The stillness settles like a blanket. Our breathing slows, and for a moment, everything is quiet. It’s just us, embracing the beauty that finds us.

There’s more I want to share with her, that I need to get off my chest. Colin, the whispers, the mysterious letter. But I refuse to ruin a good moment with the mess of reality. I lean into the comfort of my best friend, and enjoy the scenery my lands have to offer.

Eyes wide open.