Chapter 36: Dead or Alive

A/N: Just in case you get confused in reading the beginning of this chapter check the A/N at the end; spoiler warning though.

Chapter 36

My lungs felt the rush of air flowing into it as I suddenly felt every part of my body. It was as if my body had somehow disappeared and now I was suddenly reattached to it.

However, I felt strange.

I felt as if I was being pulled under water and drowning. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn't move or open my eyes.

A metaphorical anchor was weighing me down into the dark abyss and I couldn't see where I was going. My body wouldn't even allow me to fight my way through it.

The weight was pressed against my chest and even though I could feel my lungs working and I was breathing, the heavy sensation had me struggling to gather air into my lungs.

The pressure of the weight crushed me as I continuously gasped for air.

Suddenly a wave of pain washed over me and I was pulled further back into the darkness.

~~~

A haziness found me as I felt myself surface back close to consciousness but I wasn't quite out of the murky waters yet.

My mind felt a ringing sensation in it as distant noises and voices all jumbled together in a big blurb of pandemonium.

I tried to untangle each piece of sound to unload the pressure of the racket going on in my head but it was like trying to untangle the wires of a pair of earphones in the dark.

No matter which end of the wire you pulled, it remained a tight knot.

Fighting a battle with my own mind, I finally distinguished each sound on its own.

The first thing I heard was a beeping noise.

Every thing was very distant but it sounded like a heart monitor. However I couldn't be sure.

The haziness of the darkness I was trapped in and the pressure on my lungs exhausted my senses.

The beeping on the machine was irregular. The palpitations between each beat was much slower than it should have been for anyone.

A sudden voice then cut through the air and immediately caught my attention.

"Come back to me baby..."

It sounded vaguely familiar but my muddled mind couldn't place a face to the voice.

But whoever it was made my heart beat come to life.

The voice was like music to my ears.

I sensed within me a blossom of feelings. It was a strange sensation but as the voice went on, I could hear the heart monitor pick up into a more steady rate.

It was as if the voice was healing the heart.

My attention shifted back to the voice as it went out.

"My mother told me that you said you couldn't live without me, well it's the same for me Emery. I can't live without you." I heard the voice break and a peculiar tenderness grew in my chest to comfort this person.

"Whatever brought me back, saved you too... It saved us both for a reason and I need you to wake up love. I need to hear your voice. I need to hold you in my arms."

And I tried.

I tried desperately hard to break through the surface and find this man.

But the waves of darkness were tormenting me and pulling me further back into the emptiness.

'Emery? Can you hear me?' I heard in my mind.

My heart skipped a beat at the sudden intrusion in my head. I even heard the sound echo through the dull space.

'Your heart skipped a beat. You can hear me can't you?' His voice had so much hope in it.

I wanted to answer him but I didn't know how. It was like figuring out how to solve a rubix cube for the very first time.

Like not knowing which way to turn the object to make all the colors match up, I didn't know which parts of my mind I had to connect to, to respond to this man.

I wanted to yell to him that I'm in here. That I wanted to wake up but I couldn't.

'Just give me an answer love, please.' He begged.

Trying to shout that I could hear him, but failing miserably, made me frustrated and my head felt like something was banging on it.

The more he spoke, the closer I was to the surface and I could practically see him beyond my haziness and just beyond the dark murky waters.

'It's like I can feel you inside of me and I know that you're there but somehow a part of me is missing. I need to see you awake and healthy to be complete Emery. I need you. The pack needs you.' He urged.

His words struck a chord in me.

The pack.

The ritual.

Jake and the hunters.

And my mate, Thane.

He was dead.

He died in my arms and I couldn't save him.

What felt like a tsunami of a wave hit me and dragged my body under water as something like an anxiety attack struck me.

I couldn't breath, I couldn't think.

The current was too strong for me as it kept pulling me further into the darkness.

"Adler!?" I heard the man scream.

"Shit, she's going into cardiac arrest." I heard another voice announce just as the wave succeeded in pulling me under.

~~~

Strange tingles sparked along my right arm as I felt myself break free through the surface of the water.

I finally felt myself take a much needed breathe.

I felt alive and as if I've just woken up from a month's rest.

Refreshing but with that feeling of sickness and a lingering tiredness.

My eyes were still shut tight but I managed to pry them open, only to be blinded by the lights above.

I screwed my eyes shut and gently peeled them back as the brightness made them water. I blinked away the few droplets that sprouted from my eyes until they adjusted to the brightness. Besides my eyes just watering, they felt rather dry and my throat felt scratchy.

My gaze shifted to a figure on the right of me and I was shocked to see Thane sitting on a chair beside me.

Both his hands were wrapped around my right arm and his head was laid on the bed beside me but he was fast asleep.

I took the moment to look around the room and realized that we were in our room in the pack house. I had IV drips connected to me as well as a heart monitor.

Then I remembered hearing the beeping of the monitor and Thane speaking to me. He tried to reach me through our mind link while I was unconscious but I wasn't able to answer him back.

I couldn't believe he was in front of me.

Breathing and alive.

I had no idea how it was possible.

But there he laid, alive and resting.

Not wanting to waste another moment in seeing his face and seeing him alive and well, I pulled my hand out of his grasps only to be aware of how sore I felt.

I brushed my hand through his hair a few times.

At first I heard him make a sound of pure contentment before his body visibly froze in what I could only describe as shock. In a matter of seconds his head flew up and his chocolate brown eyes was fixated on me in disbelief.

"Emery..." He whispered before pulling me into his arms.

I groan in agony at the sudden movement and he quickly released me and looked completely worried.

"I'm sor-" I shook my head at his apology and wrapped my arms around his neck before pulling him back into the hug.

My eyes couldn't hold back the tears that were threatening to escape so I let it go.

Tightening my grip around him, I vowed to never let him go from that point onward. If he had to train, I would be there. If he was in his office, I would be there. If he was in the bathroom, I would stand right outside the door. And if he had a battle to fight, I was going to be there right beside him.

"Y-y you're alive." I croaked out in relief.

"I am, all because of you love. All because of you." I heard him repeat and felt something wet on my shoulder.

I pulled back slightly to look at him only to see that he was crying.

My big, tough alpha was crying.

When I wiped his tears away I realized how tired he looked, as if he haven't slept in days.

I wanted to speak more but my throat felt terrible scratchy like sandpaper.

'Our baby?' I mind linked him with trepidation and fear in my bones.

"He's fine. Healthy and with a strong heartbeat." He smiled and instantly put my mind at ease.

Our little pea was alright.

'Can you hand me a glass of water?' I mind linked him.

He nodded before placing a kiss on my forehead and then poured me a glass from the jar that sat on the bedside table. But he used one hand while the other continued to hold onto me.

Thane helped me sit up on the bed and I greedily accepted the glass of water from him which helped soothe my throat a bit.

"I thought I lost you." I said with a raspy voice.

"But I'm here, we're both here. Alive." He clarified.

My eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"I saw you die Thane." I felt my throat closing up from the intense emotions inside of me. "You died in my hands and I've never felt more helpless as I did then. I felt you leave me through our bond, you were completely gone. I sat there with your dead body as the minutes ticked by."

"That's because I did die." He said gravely.

"Then how are you here?" I asked in confusion.

He went silent for a moment as I suppose he was thinking over his answer.

"Wait this isn't like Heaven or Hell or something is it?" I pondered as I reached my hand out to his arm and pinched him.

"Ouch!! The heck, that hurt a lot love." He pouted.

I couldn't help the small smile that played on my lips, "Sorry, just making sure this was real."

His face transformed from one of pain into an adoring smile, "I'm as real as you can get love."

"Now tell me how you came back from the dead because necrophilia isn't my thing." I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

Thane placed a kiss on the back of my hand before he said, "I'm alive and breathing because of you."

"That's not right because I don't remember saving you." I mused.

"You didn't..." He trailed off.

"Then how did you...?" I couldn't even articulate my question because it was hard to believe that we were alive, especially Thane.

"The Moon Goddess." He informed. "That's the best guess that I and anyone else have."

"So she exists?" I said in awe.

"I think that question is a little redundant considering my species exists and me being alive." He chuckled.

I just stared at him in shock, "Tell me what made you think it was her?"

"My mother said that you begged someone or something to bring me back and to take you instead?" His eyebrow rose unimpressed.

I looked down guiltily but with no trace of regret, "I couldn't save you...you have no idea how it felt with you dead and knowing that I could have saved your life. I mean, healing people is my power Thane, and I couldn't even save you!"

He placed his finger under my chin and brought my face to his as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"You did save me. If you hadn't asked the Moon Goddess to bring me back, the rain wouldn't have fell, the pack wouldn't have survived and we wouldn't be sitting here today." He placed gentle kisses all over my face.

"So she saved you for me."

"She saved me for us, the pack and our little pea. It was nothing short of a miracle. Not even Adler could explain how my heart beat started back up. It was like the water in the rain healed my wounds and your power may have even jump started the process. No one has ever seen something like that happen." He grinned with pride.

"How did she do it?" I wondered.

He shook his head, "I have no idea and you're not going to be able to figure it out either. What I do know is that the Moon Goddess never does anything without a reason, so we better stick around to pay back her debt."

"I'm not planning to let you go ever again." I vowed sincerely.

He kissed my forehead, "Neither am I, especially after you almost died...twice."

"Twice?" I questioned baffled.

He nodded solemnly, "Jake shot you but you didn't die. You were close enough to death but you passed out from the blood loss. Adler stopped the wound from bleeding before he rushed you back to pack house and got the bullet out before stitching you back up. You went into a coma right after."

"And the second time?"

"You went into cardiac arrest." His voice broke before he continued. "I think when I tried to mind link you that it set it off. Luckily your powers had some time to heal which saved you and Adler made sure you were alright."

I felt a pang in my chest at Thane's broken expression, "We survived the impossible."

"You're married to a werewolf, anything is possible."

I placed one of hands over my stomach, "I even put our little pea through so much. I'll never forgive myself for putting him at risk."

"Trust me our little one forgives you." He simply shrugged.

Not wanting to fight with him over that topic, I switched the conversation, "After you got shot...I-I didn't think that I would ever see you alive again..."

Thane got off the chair and sat on the bed opposite of me. "You don't ever have to think that again. I promised that I'd come back to you and here I am."

I pulled him back in my arms since I just couldn't seem to get enough of his presence.

"I love you." I whispered into his ear.

Thane pulled back and cupped my cheeks, "I love you too, but if you ever and I mean ever try to heal me again or bring me back from the dead, I will not speak to you ever again."

"Thane-"

"No Emery, what you did that day was exactly what I told you not to do. You almost died because you used up all your energy in trying to save me and you couldn't heal yourself when you needed to. I can't live with that choice love. I can't and won't have you deciding my faith." He scolded me.

"I will decide your faith because it wasn't your time Thane. We just got married and you weren't leaving me and our son. And whether I try to save you or not, you wouldn't speak to me either way. I prefer you alive and breathing and choosing to give me the silent treatment instead of laying lifeless and not having a choice." I said in frustration before I heard the heart monitor pick up its pace.

Thane look frightened at the sudden change in my heart rate and tried to derail the situation, "You're right, just calm down and relax for me sweetheart."

I could tell he wanted me to promise I wouldn't heal him again but he gave in and I felt how scared he was so I tried to control my breathing and relax.

"I know that I promised you that I wouldn't heal you anymore but I can't live without you Thane and if you were in my shoes that day, you would've done the same thing." I told him and I could see his smile as he placed his forehead against mine. "I would do it over again anytime even if I had to give myself up."

"Let's stop talking about your death before someone walks in and sees me crying." He joked and I immediately felt better.

"You sure this isn't a dream right?"

"Why'd you ask?"

"Because I still can't believe all three of us are here." The shock of that was still fresh within my mind.

Thane placed a hand on my stomach, "Adler and I were in complete confusion as to how our little boy was surviving on his own but Adler said that it was most likely his Alpha blood that kept him alive. There's also a chance that since he's connected to you, your powers are connected to him and he's been keeping himself alive while you recuperated. We didn't know and we still don't know how it's possible but I'm not questioning it because you're both here."

"It was a day of miracles." I smiled proudly.

"Still mad at you for trying to heal me." He grumbled playful.

"Yeah, yeah but you love me anyways." I rolled my eyes at him.

"That I do." He pecked my lips as the door opened.

"Didn't I tell you to call for me as soon as she wakes up." I saw doctor Adler grinning as he spotted me alive and well.

"You said you'd be back and I wanted some time alone with my wife." Thane winked at me.

"How are you feeling Luna?" Adler asked as he began to check all my vitals.

"Alive." I laughed, "But good to be back with everyone."

"That's good to hear. I honestly don't know how the three of you survived two weeks ago but you did."

"Last two weeks?" I glanced at Thane and Adler in confusion, "I was out for that long?"

"And had me anxiously waiting to see you awake and healthy again, yes." Thane sighed.

My mind flooded with questions about what happened that day but Adler had an entire page of medical questions to ask me and informed be about the baby's health before he left Thane and I alone.

"What happened to Jake?" I asked firstly.

"He's alive." Thane said angrily.

"And where is he?" I asked anxiously.

"In the crypt. Heavily guarded and starving I'm sure." Thane gave me a sinister smile.

"You haven't killed him yet?" I inquired in surprise.

"No, I knew you would want to be there to make your peace and ask your questions before I did." He said grimly.

"Good because I want to shoot him myself." I shrugged unapologetic.

"You would had to fight me for the opportunity." Thane smirked.

"We'll see who can shoot a gun better." I winked because I knew for a fact that he never held a gun in his life.

"I have other plans for him than a short death." Thane's voice took on an eerie tone.

"When I thought you died, I wanted nothing more than to get revenge for what he took away from me." I shook my head at my vile thoughts.

"It's okay to feel that way. He's a despicable person that wants nothing else but to see us all dead." Thane said as if he knew exactly what I thinking, "Hell when I saw how much of the pack he murdered, I longed to go down to the Crypt and make him suffer and kill him with my bare hands."

"Then why didn't you?"

He brushed a few stray hairs out of my face before saying, "Trust me, I wanted to but I couldn't disrespect you like that. You're the Luna and has as much say in this situation as I do. That and I couldn't leave you alone while you were still unconscious."

I smiled appreciatively at him before a frown overtook my expression, "Just how many of our pack died in the field?"

Thane's expression turned grave as I felt his agony and pain of losing some of our pack members through our mate bond, "We lost sixty-two wolves, one of them was your friend Delilah."

"Delilah's dead?" I couldn't believe it because it felt like just yesterday that we were all back at my wedding. "Is Caroline okay?"

"She's fine, so is Bailey, Lucas, my parents and everyone else in the pack." He tried to comfort me.

"And Beau?" I questioned since I noticed he left his name out.

"Pretty weak but he survived as well. He was the first to get shot so Adler was able to get the bullet out and him off of the field before the war started." I felt relieved by that revelation but there was still a lingering pain for our lost pack members.

"I can't believe so many is gone." I sobbed.

"It's okay love, they're all in a better place now." He pulled me into his arms.

"I want to go see him." I stated as wiped my stray tears away and pulled back to look at Thane.

"Who Beau?" Thane asked in confusion.

"No. I want to go see Jake and take away what he took from everyone else in the pack." I reached over to pull the needle out of my hand before Thane's hand covered my own.

"He'll be there alive until we're ready for him sweetheart. Right now, you need to rest and take care of yourself before your able to go down there." He insisted.

"But he killed our family..."

"And he'll pay for it. I'll make sure he does." Thane promised. "Take some time and rest for yourself and the baby's sake, and for mine."

I knew he was right so I nodded. Jake will live for another day.

Then another question popped into my head, "Wouldn't everyone in Fairbairn notice they hunters are missing?"

Thane nodded, "Some of the pack went into Fairbairn and infused anyone, who could have known the hunters' purpose of coming here, with a concoction to make them forget about everything that happened at least twenty-four hours before the war. The same potion we give the other girls on the night of the ritual so they forget what they see."

"That still wouldn't explain their disappearance to anyone." I pointed out.

"Jane took care of that. The elders know about us and they know about our agreement, we don't bother them and they don't bother us and all will be well. Since the hunters came onto our land and attacked us, the elders didn't have much to say on the situation besides tell everyone in town that the hunters went in search of the 'beast' and must've gotten lost or killed by whatever lingered in the woods. Which as you know, isn't the first time something like this has happened." Thane explained and they seemed to have found an answer for the entire situation.

"What about the woman that was feeding Jake information on werewolves? Did anyone find out if it was Abigail?"

"It was Abigail." I saw rage burn behind Thane's eyes as he said her name. "Lucas went to Jake's house and caught her scent."

"It makes sense since she knows about the pack and she knew about my powers. She must've went to Fairbairn after you kicked her out and fed Jake all the information to get back at us." I couldn't believe she was that despicable...but the again it was Abigail, the man eater. "Did Lucas find her?"

"He said that her scent lingered around Jake's house but she wasn't there. They weren't able to track her down but we believe she's with child and moved further up north. She must have left Fairbairn when Jake came here."

My eyes grew wide in shock, "Pregnant? With Jake's child?"

"We think it's his but we aren't sure. She's not going to bother us anymore though." Thane promised.

"How can you be so sure?" I doubted him.

"Because she has a child to take care of now. That's if she even makes it alive through rogue territory."

I felt a sudden anxiousness and fear in my bones, "She may have been terrible to me, but her baby didn't do anything. I hope she's okay."

Thane wrapped his arms around me, for what felt like the tenth time that day, "We have no idea where she is. She ran away and there's nothing we can do to help her sweetheart so try not to worry too much."

I sighed, "There's just been enough deaths to last a lifetime."

We stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms until the door opened and revealed a group of people.

Everyone entered the room, Bailey, Lucas, Caroline, a wounded Beau, Anne, Carson, Teddy, Thomas and I was surprised to see Tate following behind them.

"And the hero's alive." Bailey squealed as she rushed to my side.

"Move over Alpha, we want our turn with the Luna." Caroline shooed Thane away.

Even though he moved from beside me, he stood not too far away and kept his eyes on me.

"He hasn't left your side since he woke up from death." Bailey whispered to me.

I glanced over at him and saw how tired he looked but a smile was graced upon his face as he watched us all.

Everyone stayed a while and expressed how happy they were that I was alive and the baby was healthy.

Tate explained that after she heard what happened here that she convinced her mate to bring her back until I woke up.

I was grateful for everyone being there for me and I wanted to catch up with them all but when Thane saw me yawning, he kicked everyone out of the room.

"Finally we're alone again." He sighed when a reluctant Anne left us.

"Come here." I shifted over to one side of the bed and left a space for Thane to lay next to me.

"What if I hurt you?" He said hesitating.

"You wouldn't. Just come here, I need you next to me." I gave him a puppy dog face and he quickly slipped into bed and I happily snuggled up next to him.

"I'm glad it was you that day under the blood moon Emery."

"And I'm grateful that you were the scary wolf." I teased but I meant every word, "Now tell me how long you haven't slept for."

"Since maybe the day of the war." He yawned. "I had a few naps but nothing substantial."

"Thane." I scolded.

"I couldn't rest knowing that you were in a coma. I stayed by you every second of the day to keep an eye on you. Even when you went into cardiac arrest about a week ago." He mumbled into my hair.

"You know I remember that." I looked up at him with a smile. "I heard you that day."

He gave me a confused expression so I went on.

"When you mind linked me, I heard you Thane."

"You did?" He asked in astonishment.

"I did and I wanted to answer you but the darkness took me before I knew who was talking to me."

Thane tighten his grip on me and I contently laid in his arms, "I'm never letting anyone hurt you again." He vowed.

A/N

In case you were confused at the beginning of the chapter, I used drowning and other related words as a metaphor for dying and being unconscious.

Chapter Update: Saturday

ONLY ONE CHAPTER AND AN EPILOGUE LEFT!

I will be answering the 'Will there be a sequel?' question in my last author's note after the epilogue, but if you have any other questions for me then please ask away and depending how many questions I get, I'll do a mini Q&A after the epilogue. So ask whatever you want wolfies :)

And yall thought I was going to actually kill my Alpha and Luna. Guys I love me a happy ending. Themery is my otp, they deserved a happy ending :)

So love me now ❤ Though I'm sorry for making you all cry :(

Also Jake's moment is coming up in the next chapter so don't be disappointed yet. Also Saturday will be the last update, I'll just upload the epilogue along with chapter 37. I can't believe the end is near.

Before I sign off I just wanted to shout out KimberlyTanithMarie she's an amazing author and so down to earth! Go check out her work because she's fantastic, especially her story 'The Heart of Moss' because it's a wonderful romance story which promotes inclusivity through her coloured and curvaceous female lead. I love the fact the female lead is empowering in her own way by being from a small country to living it up in England. Also some of the characters are hilarious and relatable. Definitely a great whirlwind love story you don't want to miss out on. The feels are everything! An incredible read!

Also another author who has been promoting inclusivity is StoriesbyIrish . She's actually going to take her story down pretty soon but right now it's still up so I highly recommend going and checking her story 'Breaking the Covenant' out. It's beyond incredible with a powerful, empowering and bad ass female lead. It's a whole new world filled with vampires and other species and it's action packed. She's incredibly talented and her story is very underrated so go show her some love before she takes it down to fix it up. Did I mention the female lead is apart of the lgbtq+ community. We love diverse characters! It's a mix between A discovery of witches and The mortal instruments. A fantastic read!

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