Chapter 83: Little Sisters Get Advice From Front Men

I like this chapter. Kat and Leed are a new combo! I hope you like it too?

Kat

Leed is holding my right hand as the doctor stitches my left. His lip is a little busted, and his voice is strained and rough because he took a swift punch to the throat during the fight, but his spirits are high. He's in story-teller mode.

"And so it came to be the very next night, that the dumbass-wannabe that stole our amp learned two valuable lessons. First, you never return to the scene of a crime. Second, Soundcrush will rain down your karma upon you. When he showed up the next night, I took his girl, and Trace took his keys and moved his car to the other side of campus. Of course, Preacher played the good guy and gave dumbass-wannabe a ride back to his apartment, but that was really just a set-up, because Bodie went along and he and Adam got our amp back. The dude looked for his car for two days. The girl went back to him, but I guarantee you she never craved him the same way, after a night with me. And all I did was slip her a little tongue...where it counts," he grins, then sticks out his rather impressive oral muscle.

"You should tell that one on stage," I wink at him, as the room erupts in laughter—Riley chuckling, Bridge's feminine peel of laughter sounding dangerously close to a fangirl's, and Row's snicker interspersed with "hell-yeah's" and "dumb fucker deserved it's" as she high fives Leed over my head. He never lets go of my hand, or my gaze that he's captured, keeping my attention away from the needle sewing my skin.

The several shots of local anesthetic hurt much worse than the stitching does now. All I can feel is a mild tug as the doctor closes my cuts, but the view is pretty gory, so Leed is trying keep my attention away from it.

Dr. Kade peers over my shoulder, patting me lightly. "He's almost done, and it looks great. You won't have any problems healing, Kat."

"Wow, I've never done this with both an entourage and a review by a resident," the older doctor says sarcastically. Leed glares at him. Yeah, we all agree, Riley might have insisted for the most experienced plastics guy to come downstairs to the ER and stitch me up, but he's no Dr. Kade when it comes to bedside manner.

Dr. Jerk swirls his hands with a flourish and clips the stitching. "I'm done," he announces flatly, then snatches the curtain open. "Is there anyone that can bandage and give her after care instructions?" With out waiting for an answer from all the nurses who look very busy, he rises, and says to me, "Someone will be in to finish you up shortly. He looks from my henna tat's to Leed real ones to Row's false-gray hair and nose stud. "Good luck. With a crowd like this, it might not be your last trip to the ER."

"If that's the case, I hope she finds herself with damn sight better care than here. She waited in chairs for hours, and these lacerations were deep and the bleeding profuse. If I hadn't cleaned and temporarily bandaged her hand on the way here, she could already be working up a life threatening sepsis. She deserved better triage, and more compassionate attention," Kade says as he jerks open one of the medical cabinets and pulls out bandages, preparing to wrap my wounds.

"You can't do that," the Dr. Jerk says. "You don't have privileges here."

"You want my medical license number to issue a complaint?" Kade says with a calm smile. "We can exchange them. You take mine, I'll take yours."

"Whatever," the grumpy old doctor says as he turns. A nurse yells after him. "Dr. Krauss, please don't go anywhere! A real plastics case coming in...the sheriff just called ahead. Someone famous, apparently!"

"Fuck, I'm famous!" Leed calls out and everyone in my cubicle, plus a few of the nurses roaming around who have been swooning over him, all laugh again.

"That will be Trace. I imagine with Matt and Street. Thank god, his face needs attention in the worst way," Riley says, pulling himself off the wall and preparing to go to work. "Ladies, will you join me? I can imagine your brothers might appreciate your gentle persuasions. Soothe ruffled feathers, and all that."

Row, sighs. "Fine, I'll take Trace."

Bridge puts a hand on her sister's arm. "No, let's switch up. That would make Street feel good. He misses you. Plus, Trace is probably all growly and you just piss him off most of the time."

"Huh. I forget you got brains behind that pretty face," Row teases her.

"Shut up, bitch."

"Make me, cunt."

"It's amazing a man will let him kiss you with that filthy mouth of yours," Bridge says coolly.

"I don't usually bother with that sweet stuff, I just go straight for the co—"

"Oh Shut Up Row!!!" Bridge hisses, and that's the last thing I hear as they disappear with Riley. Kade looks embarrassed, hiding it by focusing on bandaging me.

"Is that the way you and Ashlynn are?" Leed asks.

"You mean, the way we were?" I say sadly, and he squeezes my hand and I shrug. "Sort of. I'm not quite Row level, but yeah, I was the naughty one and Ash was continually horrified by my behavior. Though, nothing I could ever do would shock her now, I guess." It hurts me to wonder about the kinds of things Ashlynn went through, when she was out in the world, "trading favors" for drugs.

"Yeah, you might be right about that," Leed says grimly. "She's got a lot of baggage, now."

"It would take a special kind of guy to help her carry it," I say to Leed with a gentle smile, and now I squeeze his hand. His green eyes pale slightly, or maybe it's just that his pupils waver a little in size and surprise.

"You don't mind the idea of me and Ash?" he says slowly. "Not that there's anything going on, I mean...theoretically?"

I consider. Do I mind? If Leed and Ash were to become involved, it's true that I wouldn't be able to keep things going the way they are—keeping Ashlynn at arm's distance, only talking to her once every few weeks. SCIC is a tight family. But Ashlynn is my sister, and even though I'm not sure I trust her or feel confident that all her bad decisions are behind her...when I think of the past, growing up with her, swimming in the pool with her, baking cookies with her, doing homework with her, singing car karaoke with her when she drove me around, and I think of the two years I spent worried and sad and depressed, missing her, desperately worried about her...it doesn't even make sense that I would be treating her the way I am.

Sometimes I don't understand myself, when it comes to Ashlynn. I love her. I love her so much that when she went away, I tried to be her, to make up for the hole she left in my family. And now, I feel so...sick, most times when I think of her. Sick like I'm forcing anger where there should be something better.

"Honestly Leed, I don't know. I want her to be happy, and I know...the kind of guys she used to be attracted to—the Cam's, the Colin's?—they would never be able to swallow what she's been through. She has brain damage, and an addiction, and she will probably have to cope with both of those things for life. And then there's the other part."

He looks at me evenly. "You mean that she was a drug whore?"

Kade's hands pause on my arm, but then restart almost immediately, like he's ignoring the whole conversation.

"Don't call her that," I say to Leed.

"Kat, whore is just a word. Do I not use my body and my sex to get what I want, without a single regret about it?" he says, raking down a his sexy physique with one hand. "The difference between Ash and I is...I gain power in my exchange and she lost power. I get rich and she got hurt. No, the only part of Ashlynn's past that bothers me is the wounds she has from it."

I look at Leed's calm, feline, ruthless countenance and I realize, maybe he's exactly the kind of man my sister needs. Someone who would never judge her for her past, someone that understands the dark side of life and is perfectly okay with his own shadows and hers.

"Leed, do you love Ashlynn?"

The look on Leed's face changes again. The Lion recedes, and he pales. He laughs a little nervously. "Love her?" He just stares at me. Then he laughs some more and releases my hand.

Kade mumbles, "I'm going to find you some supplies to take home," and he gets up and leaves the cubicle. We both watch Kade leave, and Leed stares after him for a long moment, like he's trying to decide how to answer me. He clears his throat, rakes his hair, and curls his face back into the Lazy Lion expression.

"Baby, I don't know about love. I know about sex and friendship. I'm good at both of those things. I'm not planning on trying to having sex with Ash, but I am her friend, and sometimes, with friends that are as sexy as Ash and I are, sometimes...sex just...happens. Good sex between good friends."

"You mean...like you and Tam."

He throws his hand up and nods. "There you go. Now you got the idea. I care about Tam, always will, and there was a season of sexy times for us and now that's over and we are still friends. So I'm asking...if Ash and I found ourselves in a friendship that at some point, turned physical...would it be a problem for you?"

I consider again. For a long time. "No, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But I don't think it's exactly a good idea, either."

He's curious now. He leans closer, his green eyes capturing mine. "Why not?"

I smooth the tape down on my bandage. "Because I think Trace won't like it. He see it differently. He doesn't believe in friends with benefits, you know."

Leed snorts. "Yeah, you're probably right. He lived in that house with Ash for a long time, and he never let himself get anywhere near familiar with her. Not sure I could have done that."

"Maybe that's because you feel more than friendship for her," I suggest very quietly.

Leed narrows his eyes at me. "I told you, I don't know about all that. Anyway, we should be talking about this mess you are in with the del Marco brothers, not some theoretical bullshit that's not going to happen with me and your sister, because you are right...Trace obviously has some kind of problem with it though it doesn't have anything to do with him being jealous when it comes to her, you know that, right?"

"I don't know about all that," I repeat his words, adding an extra dose of sarcasm, wincing as I draw my hand off the table. The anesthetic is starting to wear off.

"Trace is all about you," Leed growls at me. "I don't know a damn thing about what love feels like, but it's obvious to me that Trace does."

"Oh it hurts," I moan and lay my head on the procedure tray.

Leed rubs my back, "Your hand? Shit I'm so fucking sorry I caused that. When Kade gets back I'm gonna get you the good shit...wait...maybe you shouldn't have the good shit, addiction sometimes runs in families, and Ashlynn's main problem is pills...fuck, I hate this happened," he growls. He yells out to the nurses, "Hey, my Little Sister is in pain here! Can somebody bring her some Tylenol? Like, a fucking lot? As much as she can have without killing her liver?

I smile at the Lion raking his hair in irritation and pacing in front of my cubicle, trying to catch a nurse for me. I can see why women love him. He's sweet like Adam, sexy like Trace and tons-of-fun like Bodie. He's a little new-agey unconventional, though, and I'm not sure that really fits with Ashlynn. The Ashlynn that I know is straight-laced like pair of Converse sitting on a shelf. Plus he smokes weed like most people chew gum, and I know that's probably not a situation that will be good for Ashlynn.

"Leed, it's not my hand, I was just being dramatic. I meant, love hurts," I tell him.

He stops passing. "Oh. I see," he blinks. Then he grins. "See that's why I am not about that. But—" he sits down gingerly on the exam bed with me and carefully avoiding jostling my bandaged arm, he pulls my head to the dead center of his chest. "I got you, Little Sister. You tell Papa Leed all your misery over how you fucked up and fell in love. Let it all out," he croons as he pats my back.

I push him off the bed. "God, you are such a goof. I'm serious, Leed. I...I messed up."

He scoots over to the wall and sits, his long legs filling the space all the way to the exam bed. "Yeah, you did. Tell me, does it go all the way, to...?" he says, swirling all over his own nipple to ask his question about my henna paint.

"Goddamn martinis made by gay men. They are the best and the worst," I groan.

"Okay, that's weird a answer, but I'll take that as a yes..." Leed sighs. "I'm sorry, Kat. I wasn't sure how it happened, but I take it you were really, really drunk, huh?"

I nod morosely.

"Did you mess around with him?" Leeds voice is low, confidential.

"No! Fuck no!" I hiss, throwing a roll of gauze of him. "It was just an art thing!"

Relief spreads across his face in the form of a huge grin. "Oh! Awesome! It's all good, then! It's done. Trace checked his ass, Street popped off and showed Trace he wouldn't be his bitch and it's over! Bro-code fulfilled!

I bite my lip. "I don't think it's that simple, Leed."

Leed snorts at me. "Sure it is, Little Sister. We're dudes. See, let me break it down for you: you and Street acted stupid, then Trace and Street acted stupid, and then I acted stupid and you got hurt, so it's a full circle. You getting hurt makes it impossible for any of us dudes to really give a fuck about the fight, because we feel too bad about your hand. That means Trace and Street are basically square, although I'm sure they will take pot shots at each other indefinitely, cause you know, brothers. And best of all, you and Trace got that love thing...so...him being mad about the tats will fade. Probably as soon as the tats fade, you know what I mean? Everything will smooth out. Thank you, Jesus," he folds his hands in prayer and looks piously to the sky, then frowns. "Wait...weird. I don't believe in Jesus. Adam must be putting the religious powder in my kombucha."

Like I said. Leed's a little weird. It is in no way going to be that simple for Trace.

"Leed, be serious for a minute. I'm trying to say, I feel terrible. I really hurt Trace with this. The tats were an accident, a mistake—but the way I told him about it...I think, I think I did that on purpose. We were talking about Ashlynn and all my old jealousies came back and he said he wished he could know how I felt and I...I wanted to make him hurt. Like I hurt."

Leed's jokesy grin fades and knocks his head against the wall as he stares at me. "Yeah, probably. You feel better now? You get even?"

"No," I say hoarsely. "I feel worse."

"That's because love ain't about keeping score. Shit, even I know that much."

We sit in silence as Leed rolls the gauze out across the floor and then folds it into a giant puffy, impressive bow. He wraps it around my ankle that is hanging off the bed. It looks like a misplaced corsage. "Third step-mother was a florist," he says, by way of explanation.

Suddenly, I feel like this weird, hippie, lanky, kind, arrogant rock star might actually be exactly what my sister needs. Hell, he might even be exactly what I need, at this moment.

"Leed, you maybe know Trace better than me. Better than anyone, except maybe Adam. So tell me, what should I do? Seriously? How do I make up with Trace?"

"It won't be easy," he warns me.

"I don't care. I love him. I'll do anything." I mean it. Trace and I have come so far. I can't let this stupid mistake I made ruin us.

The Lion gives me the stare, and I know I am trapped, as he goes in for his kill. "You have to forgive him, for Ashlynn. Because you can't get something in a relationship that you can't give. It's karmically impossible. You forgive a little, he forgives a little, you forgive a little more, so does he, one day it works itself away. One day, the hurt is just...over. Simple. Not an easy thing, not an overnight thing, but a simple thing."

Wow. I think he's...kind of...right.

Not easy. Not overnight. But simple.

"Was your fourth stepmother a marriage counselor or something?" I ask with a smile.

He plays with the bow on my foot, avoiding my gaze. "No. Tam taught me that. Or I guess, she's still teaching me that, cause we are still working on forgiving each other, you know. I'm working on forgiving her for wanting Ben to be the father of her kid and not me, and she's working on forgiving me for not knowing how to love her like she deserved. We both know we have to let the hurt go. For the kid."

Tears spring to my eyes. I see it now, why Mac loves this big goof so much. He's got a vulnerability that is...so very endearing. I put my good hand on his auburn head and smooth his hair.

"You need a hug, Leed?" I whisper.

He snorts and the arrogant goof is back when he looks up at me. "Goddammit. Ashlynn really did tell you everything, didn't she?"

"Hmmm-hmmmmm," I say with a smile. I don't tell him she cried when she told me about the kiss. She said it made her sometimes happy when she thought about it, because she had never in her whole life been kissed like that, but it sometimes mad her sad because she didn't think she would ever be kissed like that again.

"Oh, I don't know about him, but I could use one," the voice I love says from behind the curtain. When he pulls it aside, I let out a gasp of surprise and pain.

"Oh baby," I whimper. Looking at Trace's beautiful face, so battered by my mistake, I burst into tears.

Thoughts on the Kat/Leed conversation?