Body Dismorphia

Date of entry: 7.24.2023

When I tell you

That this shit is real!

It destroys any confidence

And happiness you feel

A camera comes your way

And you're running for the hills

Running towards your next diet

Or to your next set of pills

In your mind you're not that big

I still look pretty good

Then you see your self in the mirror

You clearly misunderstood

When did I get that back roll?

Are my arms really that big?

The longer you look the more you find

So the deeper you start to dig

They could've told me to stand up straighter

Or told me to suck it in

Before they took the picture

I told them, "Make me look thin"

I go back to my Insta

And delete all my pics

What was I thinking?

What was I? Sick?

Why did I think I was cute?

When clearly I was not

Add a couple of rude comments

And I'll really stir the pot!

I'll spiral every night

In the mirror I will stare

At all my extra parts

That I wish weren't there

The way my rolls devour everything

From my underwear to my bra

Crying myself to sleep

Feeling everything, so raw

Thank God I'm not rich

Because I'd spend it all

On major body surgery

Til I was skinny and small

I'd pay to erase my insecurities

Pay my way to good health

But even then I'd still probably see

The fat girl in myself

....................................................

AN: I do not suffer from body dysmorphia, but that's because I'm constantly in front of a camera and I've learned to accept who I am, but I know many many close friends and family who suffer from it and it kills me to see it!

To all of you suffering with it, you are beautiful in the skin that you're in and I love you for who you are!