45.1. Celestial Desires - Part 1

"She's okay, Your Majesty, don't worry," Julia reports. "A bit malnourished but Clawfangs are resilient enough to overcome longer periods of discomfort. Unlike Celestials," she narrows her eyes.

I sigh. Did my maids tell on me that I don't eat properly? I came to the infirmary to check on Brina, the pregnant Clawfang lady I brought with me yesterday, not to get a scolding. The woman in question looks fine and healthy, I'm glad. Her partner Tai is with her and looks devoted. It's heart-warming to see a Draconian couple in love.

Will Draconians date only other Draconians in future? I'm a living example that interspecies love is possible but it's not like we're planning to have children with Erik. But even with heterosexual couples, I doubt Draconians can have children with humans. Or with other races. That makes things tough, especially for straight couples who would like to start a family.

"Brina is my concern now, Aefener," Emi assures me. "Stop worrying about everyone and focus on your race, okay? You have too much work as it is."

I nod. She's right, I should focus entirely on Celestials but I guess I feel responsible for Brina because I brought her here. I study the young Clawfang female. Like Emi, she's a fox but with a differently coloured fur. My nose isn't sensitive enough to catch those special smells but even I can tell that Emi just looks like the Alpha whereas Brina and Tai are not even betas. Are they sigmas? Deltas? I have to ask Emi later about their pack roles.

"Thank you, Your Majesty, for bringing us here," Brina speaks up and is hugging her stomach. "But I can't stop thinking about my friends back in the squat. I feel guilty about leaving them."

"We'll help them soon," Emi pats her shoulder. "Once the right laws are pushed through, all Draconians who lost their jobs will get a financial aid. We'll also press employers to start giving us jobs again. Once they realise how proficient we are in certain areas, I'm sure we won't have a problem to find employment."

I hope so, too. Since yesterday when I faced the harsh reality, I don't feel good about living in luxury when so many Draconians suffer. My subjects are trying to spoil me but I won't let them. I'm the Emperor and it's my duty to think about others first.

"Are you okay, Your Majesty?" Miruel suddenly approaches me and clutches my arm. She's afraid because I nervously fluttered my wings just now and looked longingly outside the window. "You don't feel like...?"

"I'm fine," I shake her off. "How's Fefnir progressing with those drones? Will they be ready tomorrow?"

"Hopefully," she chews her lip. "You think tomorrow..."

"I'll definitely need to fly," I nod. "Regardless of whether I'll master the shield today or not."

"Of course, Your Majesty," she gulps. "We'll do our best to make it safe for you."

"Your regular medical check-up is this Friday morning before breakfast, Your Majesty," Julia's new assistant Noage reminds me.

"My transformation is finished, do I have to?" I frown.

"It'll be once a month from now on," he says. "Just to make sure you stay healthy."

I sigh but I know that there's nothing I can do about it. It's in our lore that the Celestial Emperor can't decide anything regarding his protection and well-being.

What is Erik doing right now I wonder? We were divided after lunch. I went to check on our newest inhabitants while he had to deal with two representatives of the Prague City Hall in order to agree on material help. Liana assumed it'd be better if Erik handled these lower officials who might have been too nervous around me.

I miss him already but I could use some time without him, to be honest. I was really looking forward to meet his parents but after yesterday, Erik is convinced that they will be afraid of me. I want to make a good first impression but there's nothing I can do about my looks. And I can't go back to act seemingly more human either. I don't want to even if I could. I won't twist my nature just to make humans like me more easily. Not anymore.

I say goodbye to Julia and the rest because I have a magic training next. Surprisingly, Emi joins me. I never noticed it before because she's usually alone in the office but outside it, wherever she goes, there's always a bunch of Clawfangs tailing her.

"We haven't had many opportunities to speak privately," she smiles at me, revealing her vulpine teeth. I smile back. She's so cute. How could anyone see her as a monster?

That sentence makes me think, though. Private is a very vague term when it comes to race rulers. No wonder it makes Erik mad. I've always been an introvert but I got used to the fact that I'm surrendered by people all the time astonishingly quickly. Naturally, that applies to Draconians only. Their minds don't hurt me. On the contrary, I enjoy feeling their telepathic imprints.

"Is Rien doing okay?" I ask and curiously eye Emi's guards.

You can't even tell they're guards. Unlike mine, they don't wear uniforms and they aren't as stiff and serious about the job. I guess Emi just brings random people from her pack who take turns which is unthinkable for me. Clawfang mentality can't be further from the Celestial one. But they're still fellow Draconians so I don't mind their company.

"Rien's adapting fine considering that his family was keeping his from other Draconians," Emi says. "He's meeting his aunt, Bauerova, right now."

I'm happy to see that Draconians still want to keep their previous family relations. Would it be different for me if I had an understanding family? I haven't spoken to my grandmother for weeks now, Erik blocked her number on my phone so that she won't exploit me again.

But I still felt some kind of connection to her, my only living family, so I sent her some money. She should be able to live comfortably with it till the end of her days and I won't feel guilty about never talking to her again.

She was horrible to me but it was still a better alternative to an orphanage where someone would have found out about my telepathy sooner or later for sure. So I'm actually grateful that I could live with her even if it wasn't ideal.

"Rien will make an excellent beta warrior," Emi remarks, interrupting my pondering. "But I can't wait to finally get my Supreme Beta when we visit New York. He should get his diplomatic immunity by then so I'll take him with me."

"Right," I realise that her deputy Rin is stuck in New York.

But we're coming there soon. Oh, and Gotrid is also there. I look forward to meeting him in person but I'm a bit worried at the same time. It's obvious that Erik is super jealous whenever I talk to him. It's not just silly petty jealousy I could ignore. I have to admit that in this particular instance, Erik is apprehensive for a good reason.

Gotrid is my type and a Celestial which is a dangerous combination. While I truly love only Erik right now, I do have quite a rich history of polyamorous relationships due to my telepathic addiction. No wonder Erik is twice as nervous.

I'm absolutely sure about my love for him but now that my Celestial nature is fully awake, I can't guarantee that seeing Gotrid in person won't trigger something. While I do love Erik's human body, I have to keep making a conscious effort lately not to turn around when I see a pair of really nice wings on a man who's my type.

"Are you okay, Aefener?" Emi sniffs me all of a sudden. "You've just smelled Celestial funny."

"W-what?" I flinch. "Celestials don't sweat much so I don't bathe as often. Am I starting to stink or something?"

"No, that's not it," she shakes her head. "But you faintly smelled of pheromones. Were you thinking about something dirty? Gosh, Erik isn't with you for two hours and your imagination runs wild. Does it ever get old for you two?"

I turn completely red. Thankfully, Emi thinks that she guessed right when in reality I got aroused when thinking about Gotrid and his wings. Does that count as mental cheating? Can I even resist feeling this way about Celestial men?

I quickly recall Erik's handsome muscular body and it excites me all the same but when I try to remember my old lovers or human men in general, I get no reaction. Can it be that I stopped being attracted to humans and Erik is an exception because I love him? Will he feel flattered when he finds out or threatened?

I'd like to test our newly discovered long-distance telepathic connection to see how far I can reach with sending my thoughts but I don't want to startle him when he's at an important meeting.

"Are you listening, Aefener?" Emi pulls my sleeve. "I was asking if I can watch your training session today."

"Oh, sorry. Sure, why not," I nod.

"I'd like to see how you do it because I also have to come up with a training regime for my race," she elaborates. "I have to admit that I'm not good at organising things. Being a Clawfang is more about spontaneity. All that administration is killing me."

Oh, does she really hate it so much and the reason is mainly because she's a Clawfang? I realise that I don't mind my new job actually and it's totally unexpected. I rarely watched news before. I wouldn't even know the name of our current Czech Prime Minister is she wasn't queer. But Celestials like things to be orderly and neatly organised. Unlike Clawfangs, we don't like chaos.

"Your Majesty, welcome," Taranah greets me when we reach the training suite. "Oh, Supreme Alpha is with you?"

"She wants to watch me train," I nod. "Is that okay?"

"If you say it's okay, then it is," he says. "But I'm afraid her numerous escort has to wait outside. For safety reasons in case some spell goes berserk again. We can't possibly watch for so many people."

"No problem," Emi instructs her pack to wait in the corridor and goes inside alone.

"You can do that outside your apartment?" I'm astonished. We're both race rulers, yet we're treated so differently by our people.

"What do you mean? I'm the Supreme Alpha, they have to listen to my every command," she claims proudly.

I frown and look at Miruel. She shakes her head which means that I shouldn't expect the same treatment. Even if I fully identify as the Celestial Emperor now, there're still some things that go against my feathers and I have to tolerate. Like being anxiously guarded all the time.

"Different race, different customs," Emi shrugs. "To be frank, I'd be nervous to leave you all alone as well. Celestials are extremely weak towards surprise attacks and you have no resistance."

I sigh. She's right.

"Sorry, I'm late," Liana appears a few minutes after us. Her magic training is also mandatory, of course.

We start practicing and I think it must be very boring for Emi to watch. Inner mana channelling isn't perceivable by anyone who isn't a Celestial and most of our attempts end in failure. I'm very motivated to make it work but I'm trying to be not as enthusiastic because last time my spell backfired.

This time I feel different, though. Calmer. More confident about my skills. I managed a level 15 healing skill in that squat so there's no way I wouldn't manage a level 5 shield. I suspect my problem is that I push out too much mana for such a simple spell. So... what about I try a level 15 shield? Would that work better for me? I recall the transfiguration symbol needed for it and channel my mana.

"Aefener?!" Liana is staring in disbelief because I get surrounded by a thin layer of protective light.

She tries touching it but her hand goes through.

"Another failure?" she's disappointed.

"Emi, try throwing something at me," I ask.

The Supreme Alpha grins, takes a tennis ball out of her pocket and throws it at me. The ball gets repelled when touching the barrier.

"How?" Liana opens her mouth wide.

"Because I think of you as my ally," I smile, take her hand and pull her to my chest.

She comes through easily and I make the shield stretch so that it can hold both of us.

"And I'm not?" Emi purses her lips.

"The ball definitely isn't," I explain. "No non-living object gets through by default. Why do you have something like that on you anyway?"

"To play with when I'm bored," she laughs. "Congratulations, Aefener, it seems you should be safe enough tomorrow."

"Ehm!" someone coughs from the door.

Not just someone, Erik!

"Cheating on me with your Viceroy?" he raises his eyebrow but his tone is teasy.

I realise I'm still holding Liana tight. When did I transform from someone who's afraid of any touch to a person who loves hugs? It must be Erik's doing.

I let go of her and run to hug my partner instead. I think it would take just one more hour and my telepathic addiction would kick in. I was already missing him terribly and we're been away each other only for three hours.

"Okay, okay," he laughs because I shower him with kisses.

He feels a bit better now. Was it because he was with humans so he could relax despite them being state officials? It seems so. I have to do something about it.