60.2. In Mourning - Part 2

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Erik starts massaging my sore wing muscles.

"I can take care of it," Liana offers.

"You're just as tired as I am," I oppose. "Let them in, I can do another hour or so."

My subjects aren't happy to keep overworking me but this is an emergency so it's only understandable. This is my lifestyle now—unending workload, no privacy, titles and responsibility. But I'm somehow more at ease with it now that I've fully accepted to be the Celestial Emperor.

Deminas and Fefnir show up first, having to bend their heads because the door frames are too low for them. Deminas is frowning his scaly eyebrows which might look menacing to humans but to us it's obvious he's just worried. Twyla and Werden follow in a minute.

"Aefener, you're okay!" Twyla hugs me warmly. "What happened?"

"Seriously," Deminas grumbles. "A race ruler can't just disappear, it might cause panic."

"Emi disappeared and everybody's fine with it," I purse my lips.

"I'll correct myself then—the Celestial Emperor can't disappear like that," Deminas looks around. "And then mysteriously bring thousands of new Celestials with him."

"That's actually not my fault," I say defensively and give a word to Liana to explain what happened.

They listen carefully and when this matter is cleared, I tell them what we agreed on with Bennett.

"I didn't dare to speak for all races but Celestials in the EU promised to protect humans," I summarise.

"It'll be a proper job, right? For money?" Werden is making sure.

"That's right."

"And dead monsters?" Deminas clicks his tongue which in his case produces a noticeable fume.

"Loot will belong to us, we insisted on that," Liana assures him. "As for how to divide resources, we propose sharing, trading and focusing on what each race can do best. There should be a working economy not only between Draconians and humans but also between ourselves."

"You mean we craft a weapon, you enchant it," Fefnir finishes that idea.

"And we will be producing potions and provide healing," Twyla seconds.

"And Clawfangs?" Werden impatiently thumbs his fingers. "Damn, Emi should have been here at least for the negotiations."

"Securing resources, stealth, recon and possibly... beast taming?" I name a few.

"We complement each other a bit too well," Deminas clenches his teeth. "As if Draconians were carefully engineered exactly with that in mind."

A shiver goes down my spine. We're back at the original problem. How was the Great Evolution even possible? Who did it? For what purpose? Where are these monsters coming from? Why? Why? Why?

"For now, there's nothing better that we can do than use it to our advantage," Twyla says resignedly. "We should focus on what we can naturally do best."

"Sure, we got ourselves a ton of chitin so I'd actually prefer to focus on processing it instead of politics," Deminas agrees. "We'll gladly leave intellectual stuff to Celestials. Of course, we'll want to be kept updated and vote on the most important decisions."

"And we'll happily focus on medicine and biological research," Werden nods.

"Hey, who says I enjoy politics? I'd rather focus on magic research," I retort.

"You're just natural at it," Twyla says amicably. "Lore-wise, Celestials seek power and influence. If you won't abuse those powers, we have no problem with it."

"Our cute Emperor certainly won't," Gotrid chuckles to ease the atmosphere. "He's one of those impossible people who are good rulers exactly because they don't want to be rulers."

"That's why we're not afraid to put our trust in him," Deminas finally smiles, revealing his spiky teeth.

We keep on debating until it's way past nine. I'm still devastated about Grandma but at least I can feel my hunger levels again and assess that my stomach is empty. My body is burning calories like crazy right now, trying to balance today's enormous loss. I remind myself that I promised I'll try eating better.

Luvi? I address my adjutant slowly, not wanting to startle her. But I still do, she twitches when she hears my voice inside her head. Do you think we could have dinner now?

"Of course," Luvi bows and runs off to fulfil my request.

The race rulers stare at her, not having a clue about what just happened. Only Liana knows right away and rolls her eyes ostentatiously.

"Aefener," she uses my name again now that we're among friends. "I beg you not to use your telepathy like that, it's rather rude, unnecessary and downright confusing for anyone else who isn't involved."

"Ehm... what just happened?" Fefnir scratches his right horn.

"Our Emperor's telepathic ability got stronger," Gotrid announces proudly.

"My panic escape was full of self-discoveries," I murmur, embarrassed. "Sorry, I guess it was a bit rude not saying it aloud for everyone to hear when it wasn't anything secret. I just asked Luvi if she could bring dinner, I'm starving."

"It's that late already?" Liana realises only now.

"That's right, high time to let His Majesty rest," Cien speaks up assertively, not at all afraid of all the race rulers gathered here.

"Still, your telepathy got stronger you say?" Werden looks at me, intrigued.

"It's rather I'm not blocking myself unconsciously out of fear anymore," I set the record straight. "Also, I decided to tell all Celestials."

"Is that wise, Aefener?" Fefnir whistles.

"Maybe not," I admit. "But I wanted to do it."

"That's Celestial business, Fefnir," Deminas nudges him. "We won't tell anyone and if Aefener doesn't want to keep secrets in front of his own people, I totally understand."

My servants then politely but hastily escort everyone out and Liana also excuses herself to rest in her own apartment. I almost can't believe the day is finally over, it seemed endless. Dinner arrives and I'm really happy we can eat it casually in the dining room and just the three of us.

"Love," Erik pets my wing because despite me asking for food which is a small miracle, I'm not able to each that much in the end.

"You made an effort and that counts," Gotrid praises me and allows the maids to clear the table.

I was bathed when we returned so I don't need to go now. Gotrid does and Erik claims that he sweated a ton during all those hours he didn't know where I was. They go take a quick shower, leaving me sitting on the bed for a short meditation.

Being alone is just an empty phrase for me, though. With my partners gone, guards position themselves at the door. But I don't mind anymore. I sit on two pillows, cross my legs, relax my wings, close my eyes and go into a meditation. I try to focus but my Grandma's face keeps popping up.

She was horrible to me, I shouldn't be mourning her. Yet, I can't bring myself to hate her. She had an untreated bipolar disorder, she was sick. What if my Mom never left for Japan? Would she persuade her to find treatment? I heard from our neighbours that her mood swings got much worse after Mom left. Grandma never admitted it but she must have been devastated to lose her daughter.

"Your Majesty, are you okay?" the guards are suddenly leaning over me and they usually never leave their post.

I open my eyes again to discover that tears are pouring all over my face.

"Do you need counselling? Should we call Zetraya?" the guards are panicking.

"He needs his partners," Gotrid storms in, his wings dripping water. "Sorry, love, we tried to hurry when we felt your turmoil but we had to wash the soap off at least."

"Hey, bird, you're flooding the place," Erik runs after him and throws a huge towel. Gotrid sticks his tongue out at him.

Their teasy interaction makes me laugh and even though it's a sad laugh over tears, I feel better. Gotrid is right, I need my partners. Now more than ever.

"Sit on the carpet and let me dry you," I say.

"We're okay now, thank you," Erik dismisses the guards.

"Oh, being dried by my Emperor, is this heaven?" Gotrid sings when I cast warm air currents and blow them into his feathers.

While I'm drying Gotrid, Erik sits behind me and gives my sore wing muscles a nice relaxing massage. For these peaceful moments with my beloved, I'm willing to endure just about anything.

"It's okay to cry... to mourn," Erik whispers half-way into the massage because I start silently crying again. But they're tears of relief as I need to get the tension out of my body.

When Gotrid's feathers are dry, he turns around and hugs both me and Erik into his soap-smelling wings. Erik doesn't resist this time and we stay like that for several long minutes until my eyes dry as well.

"I want you both and I want you now, not after we return to Prague," I sigh out. My wings drop and start shaking—a Celestial equivalent of arousal.

Eriks smirks, takes me into his arms and transports me into the bed with Gotrid helping to carry my wings I can't seem to fold properly. They take a hold of me, surprisingly cooperating without any conflicts. I surrender to them completely and connect our minds when they feel open enough to let me. This is the first time I connected the three of us fully on every possible level.

I show Erik all sides of my mind, not hiding anything anymore. I'm not afraid to look too Celestial in his eyes and he's not afraid to see. I show Gotrid my vulnerability but his unwavering faith in me as his Emperor isn't shaken.

I find refuge in their minds and then stretch myself further to feel all Celestials in the vicinity. Because they all know anyway, I gently touch their minds and send them some of my love as well. Many of them are nervous, scared of future, unsure. They need some reassurance. They need to know that their Emperor cares about every single one of them.

I will protect you, I send them a tender thought. A promise.