Chapter 22

The class passed incredibly slowly, it felt like I have been sitting there for months. Noah kept looking at me and I pretended to have not seen him. Thankfully, the teacher dismissed the class and didn’t even give us any homework. Noah got up and left quickly without even looking behind once.  I picked up my books and headed towards my locker to keep these books back. I didn’t want to talk to Noah but I was feeling sad that he gave up on me so soon.

He didn’t try to say anything to me. I know I was avoiding him but did he really care so less about it. Did it really mean nothing to him? I stuffed my books in the locker and slammed the door hard making a loud noise turning few heads towards me. I just rolled my eyes and turned around before someone grabbed my arm and dragged me to the nearest classroom.

I didn’t get scared because it was Noah. The similar tingling sensation was flowing through my arm, spreading all over my body. I tried to free myself off his hold but he held me even tighter until I stop struggling. Noah is stronger than me there is no way I will be able to just walk away. I don’t want to face him, I can’t.

“Please don’t do this.” Noah said begging me with his eyes to stop struggling. He looked sad and hurt. Shouldn’t I be the one sad and hurt?

“Noah, just let me go.” I said looking at my feet. The way he was looking at me, was crumbling my will to stay away from him.

He placed a finger under my chin making me look at him. “I am sorry. Whatever happened last night was my fault. I just couldn’t...” He said trailing off.

He just couldn’t what? I just waited patiently for him to complete the sentence but he didn’t. “Ok, now can I go?” I asked trying to sound angry.

I just couldn’t stay mad at this boy. I just felt the unnecessary need to make him happy all the time which honestly scared me. I am actually scared how much I love him but he doesn’t even know. I know whatever he does I will always take him back because I need him. Noah looked into my eyes with such intensity that I felt my knees going weak.

Noah’s Pov

“I need you in my life. I can’t lose you. I know what I did I can’t take it back and honestly I don’t want to but I can’t ruin what we have for a thrill. I am so sorry. Please don’t walk away from me.” I said.

I can’t believe I said all this. She is going to think I am crazy but it’s true. I have kissed many girls before but it never felt the way it did when I kissed Rebecca. I don’t know why she is the most important person in my life. I will be lost without her, I want her, and I need her. Please Rebecca just say something, don’t go away from me. She didn’t say anything, just stood on the spot looking at me.

“Have I hurt you?” I asked softly cupping her face in my hands. She looked sad, disappointed and hurt. It was me who hurt her, I wish I could make her pain go away but I have no idea what to do.

She looked into my eyes and trapped me in her brown eyes. “No, off course not. Don’t be silly.” She said. I looked at her intently for any signs of lie but she was being honest. I breathed a sigh of relief and hugged her tightly.

I don’t ever want to let her go. I am so whipped. I will never understand why I need her so much. I never worried or even cared about someone before her. Its likes my whole world revolves around her, she keeps me sane. I just want to make her happy as long as I can. Someday she won’t need me; she will have a boyfriend or a husband.

My blood boiled at the thought of her being with some other guy but I pushed it away. She is not mine to keep; she deserves someone so much better. The guy she chooses and fall in love with will be the luckiest guy in the world. I wish I could stay with her like this forever but that’s just wishful thinking. I can’t have her; I don’t deserve someone like Rebecca in my life.

She pulled away slowly and as much as I didn’t want her to leave I let her go and she stepped back. “I will go to my house and then come back to your place for dinner ok?” I asked.

I wanted to spend every minute with her but I just needed to clear my head. I just wanted to grab her and kiss her right now. I was having a hard time controlling myself from wanting her. Besides, I should give her some space I can’t be with her 24 hours. I just wish I could be with her forever, she is so perfect. What the hell did I just think? I can’t be. I was actually thinking of being with her forever. I am out of my mind.

“Um...actually Will is coming over for dinner.” She said sounding a little unsure about something. She doesn’t want me to come?

“So? I want to come too.” I said confidently. I didn’t like the idea of her being with Will all alone at her place. I just didn’t like her being alone with him or any guy for that matter.

“You can’t come. We have to talk about something important.” She said shrugging. I hate that Will. He has been spending more time with her than necessary and I don’t like it.

“What is so important? I want to come.” I said running a hand through my hair. I can’t wait to see her till Monday. She spent the Sunday with her family so she never came over to my place.

“Don’t be like this. I can’t spend one evening with someone else?” She asked slightly confused and angry too. She is right, I can’t do this to her. I have no right to say anything.

I sighed in defeat. “You can but tomorrow you will have to come over then.” I said. Please agree I can’t do without you for two days.

“You know I can’t. I have to be with my parents, it’s the only day they get off.” She said sternly signaling the end of discussion.

I sighed. I was feeling bad that she didn’t want me to come. Staying away from her physically hurts me.  “You can come on Sunday if you want.” She said crossing her arms over her chest.

My whole face lit up like a small kid on Christmas morning and I nodded eagerly. Rebecca laughed at my enthusiasm or maybe at my eagerness. “If you don’t mind my parents being there.” She added.

“No, I don’t care.” I said shrugging. Amanda and Brian are really nice people besides they are fond of me.

“Ok then bye.” She said turning around to walk away.

“Wait, can I at least drop you?” I asked trying not to sound too desperate.

“I got my car today.” She said smiling at me and walked away. I stood in the door watching her walking away from me till she vanished like I always did.

I walked back to my car quietly. In the morning when I reached to pick she up Amanda told me she left. I thought that I lost her door to my stupidity. What will she be thinking about me? I broke up with Cassie yesterday and kissed her in my bed at night. I don’t care if other people call me a player or think about me less. I don’t want Rebecca to think about me that way; I just don’t want her to think bad about me. I got into my car and drove back home to the empty house.

Rebecca’s Pov

I know I shouldn’t have let Noah of the hook that easily but I just couldn’t help it. It was impossible for me to stay mad at him more than a few hours. I was surprised when he said all those things to me back in the classroom. He was disappointed about me not letting him come over today but I couldn’t really explain him anything.

It was not like I had a date with Will but we were going to talk about Noah. With Noah sitting right there it could be impossible and Will would hound me till he doesn’t know everything. Noah can be so difficult at times but he always listens to me even if he doesn’t like the idea a lot. There was a knock on my door. I got up from the couch and hurried towards the door.

I opened the door to see Will smiling at me happily with a pizza box in one hand and ice-cream in the other. “Thanks.” I said and took it out of his hands. I went into the kitchen, set the ice-cream in the freezer and removed two plates to eat.

We sat on the couch chatting about stuff and finished our dinner. Will had brought chocolate chip ice-cream my favorite. After desert Will finally spoke, “So what happened today? Or should I say yesterday?” he asked.

I sighed not knowing how to answer it. “Cant we just forget about it.” I said resting my head on the back of the couch.

“No, tell me.” He demanded. I knew it but had to try right? Where shall I start? I don’t what part to explain him.

I should tell him everything since yesterday afternoon otherwise he may not understand. Can I tell him the Cassie part? Noah made clear he didn’t want anyone knowing details. I told Will everything that happened skipping the part about Cassie saying non-sense about Noah and thinking he was cheating on her.

Will listened to me intently without interrupting even once. I was finally done and it may feel strange but I actually felt better after talking about it. I looked up at Will waiting for him to say something but he didn’t say anything.

“You are not going to say anything.” I said trying to make him respond but it failed. He didn’t say anything and just sat there looking at his feet which apparently were more important than this.

I was getting really frustrated he was not saying anything. Damn it, Will say something. It was getting uncomfortable and awkward for me. When finally he spoke, “You know I am going to say ‘I told you so’ right?” he said raising an eyebrow.

I nodded. Will had given me more lectures in last two weeks than my parents have given me in 17 years. “He just used you and you let him. I thought you were better than this.” He said.

Did he just say that? I don’t believe him. “Are you saying it’s my fault? That I am to blame?” I asked shocked.

“Not exactly but yes. You gave him the green signal. I told you right on your first day to stay away from him but you didn’t. He doesn’t care much about anyone else. You are so stupid that he always gets his way. I wouldn’t even have been surprised if you guys would sleep together.” He spat.

Tears were forming in my eyes making my vision blurry. He just doesn’t understand. I can’t believe Will said all this to me. Noah is his friend and he thinks so little about him. I thought Will understood me but I don’t think he does, he never did.

“You don’t understand.” I said and got up and ran to my room. I shut the door behind me and went to the window.

I slumped on the floor leaning against the wall next to the window. I was crying again, tears were rolling down my cheeks. No one understood what Noah meant to me, not even he himself. Today when he asked if he had hurt me, a part of me wanted to say yes. I was hurt by his words not by his actions but I couldn’t say that to him.

My bedroom door opened and I looked up to see Will standing there. Why is he still here? I thought he must have left. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. I was willing myself to stop crying but I couldn’t. Will sat on the floor next to me and put an arm around my shoulder to comfort me.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He said softly.

“I just don’t like you seeing like this that’s it. I don’t like to see you pinning for him this way. You think about it, is even worth it?” Will asked.

“I love him, he is worth everything.” I replied honestly without even thinking about it much. The Noah I know, others don’t so they say he is not worth it. When they will see how he really is they will understand that I am not worth him. I don’t deserve him.

Will didn’t say anything after that. I just rested my head on his arm and closed my eyes. Everything has changed since I moved here. My old life was so easy and not at all dramatic. I never expected to fall in love hell I never expected to have a life here. As people say we find love in the places we least expect it to, it’s true.

After Will left I changed and slumped onto my bed falling asleep within minutes. I woke up in the morning and stretched like a cat. I was feeling relaxed this morning, I slept so late the other day I was tired. I got in the shower and took a long and relaxing shower seen it was Sunday. I dressed in my sweats and a loose t-shirt and went downstairs.

Today was the only day my parents got off so they liked me to spend as much as time possible with them. “Um…Noah’s coming over today. Is it ok?” I asked pouring myself some coffee.

“Sure, he is nice boy.” Mom said. “Besides we have to go shopping for that office ball next week. You guys want to join?” she added.

I bit my lip and thought about it. I will be happier sitting at home with Noah then going to shopping. Its gets a little uncomfortable, when they are with us. “No, we will stay here. I don’t want to go anywhere.” I said and started eating my breakfast.

My parents left for shopping in an hour or so. I was sitting on the couch waiting for Noah. I thought he would be here by now, he is not usually late. The doorbell rang and I got off the couch quickly and opened the door. Noah stood there smiling and holding a bunch of lilies in one hand. He never gave me flowers before, he is so sweet. I took them from him and smelled them

“Thank you.” I said gratefully and walked to the kitchen to put these flowers in the vase. Noah was following me closely behind without saying a word.

“What’s for lunch?” He asked looking around the kitchen. I laughed and slapped his arm playfully. He is always hungry and can eat a lot.

“You are always hungry.” I said. I removed some stuff from the fridge to make us a sandwich for lunch. Well, one for me and two to three for Noah.

“I am not always hungry. I am just hungry now.” He said rubbing his hand on his stomach. I laughed again.

Noah wrapped his arms around me from behind so my back was touching his chest and rested his chin on my shoulder. He being this close was not really helping me concentrate on my chopping. “You want any help?” he said into my air.

A shiver ran down my spine and I shivered involuntarily. I will never understand how this boy can affect me so much. I just shook my head and he didn’t move away. “What did you and Will do yesterday then?” he asked curiously.

“Well nothing much was just hanging out.” I said shrugging.

“Just hanging out? Huh.” He said.

I turned around to face him but he didn’t let me go. “What?” I asked. He looked like he was deep in thought. It was not what he said, it was just the way he said it.

“Nothing. I was just asking.” He said innocently. I smirked at him but decided to let it go. If he doesn’t want me to know, he won’t tell me no matter what.

The rest of the day passed like any Sunday for me does. Noah left after he had dinner with me and my parents which surprisingly were not at all awkward. We had fun all day. We spent most of the time chatting and even watched some movie which scared the crap out of me. I don’t understand how can anyone like horror films. I sighed and closed my eyes drifting off to sleep.

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