Chapter 30

When I woke up, I was surprised that I felt at without with that ‘where am I?’ feeling. That made me feel a bit better, considering I seemed to be sleeping in a different place every other night. Now if my body could just get used to living with day as night and night as day, I’d probably have this other realm life licked.

Chase hadn’t made it back before I almost fell asleep in front of the giant TV screen. The fighting movie suddenly didn’t seem so action packed compared to the last few days of my life.

After showering and taking my time drinking the awesome coffee Tim brought, I started to feel anxious and could only surmise it was because I was going back to Troy’s half of Alterealm. There was the possibility, I thought, that it was because I was leaving Chase’s.

When I started just roaming the halls, with Tim trailing me of course, I didn’t really have a destination in mind but realized when I took a definite left at the last option I was heading towards Chase’s office. I wanted to see him suddenly. My stomach did this odd tightening, not in a bad way, in a totally good way, the way it did when Chase kissed me. Licking my lips, I thought of his sensual kisses; they melted me from the inside out. I guess that means the anxious feeling was from leaving him.

When I reached his door, it was open about an inch, so I took that to mean he wasn’t in some serious meeting if the door wasn’t closed. Pushing it open, I walked in. The tightening turned to heat coursing through me, and I knew then the feeling wasn’t my own at all, it was Chase’s and it was pure lust. I clutched at my stomach when my own feeling overrode the shared ones from him the second I saw him.

He was leaning against his desk with his shirt open as a tall red head in a very short, skin-tight blue dress was pressed up against him, her hands running up and down his chest as she straddled his leg. Their eyes were locked and his were a yellow that I knew well enough what was going on. My stomach flipped and that feeling that was purely my own became nausea.

The redhead gasped as Chase lifted his head and snapped around to look at me. I stood where I was, not moving. He straightened and pushed her away so she was no longer touching him. She looked at me and then sighed and quickly walked out the door on the other side of the room.

Chase stood there, his shirt hanging open, his eyes had gone back to normal and I could guilt filling them. A haze filled my head and I was lost, not even able to voice how I was feeling. Forcing myself to look away from him, I turned to go back out the way I’d come in.

“Damariss, please don’t walk away and leave it like this.”

I could hear his foot-steps behind me and his hand closed the door over my head before I could get out it. Taking a deep breath, I turned and looked up at him.

“My brother is a great man and true King,” he said softly his voice heavy with emotion. “He’s everything I can’t be due to circumstance I can’t change.” He moved away from the door and put a few feet between us. “I would give him anything of this earth, except you,” with a shaking hand he ran it through his hair, “not like this.”

I leaned back against the door, not sure if my legs were steady enough without something to support me. I moved my eyes over him as he stood watching me. His shirt still hung open, there was lipstick on his chest and I had to force my eyes to move past it. His cheeks were flushed and I honestly didn’t know if it was from him feeding or the woman that had been manhandling him. A sadness filled me. “I can’t do this, Chase.” I shook my head so he wouldn’t speak. “I understand you have to feed on emotion but I can’t accept that.” I pointed to the door the woman had gone out.

“I don’t always feed off sexual emotions. I just prefer it when time is short because it is the safest one, the one that I can’t take too much from the other person.”

I wanted to believe him, but there was that little feeling in my gut that I got when things weren’t what they seemed. “Do you ever feed off males?” He jolted like I’d poked him in the gut instead of asked a question. “That’s answer enough.”

He stepped towards me and then stopped. “If you were with me I would only come to you.”

My heart throbbed, I wanted to believe him, I really did. “What if I’m on the other side for more than a day? You’d starve yourself? I can’t be responsible for that, you’re a ruler, your subjects depend on you.”

“I would wait. A day won’t harm me.”

He started to move toward me but I couldn’t do this. Turning, I swung the door open before he had a chance to say anything else. Quinton was on the other side of the opening and I launched myself at him into his arms before he could move out of the way.

Cradling me into his large chest, his big hand holding my head tight against him, he turned so I was sheltered away from his brother. “What did you do?” His tone was serious and quiet.

“She came in while I was feeding off of Sabina.”

Quinton stiffened. “Alterealm’s whore? You feed off the whore?” His voice was filled with disbelief.

I cringed knowing it was worse than I had thought. Quinton tried to squeeze me tighter, but I moved out of his arms unable to be here a second longer. Closing my eyes, I thought of my apartment.

When I opened them, I was in the dim living room. Turning, I stumbled to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed.

I don’t know how long I lay there in the dark but when I opened my eyes I could see Chase leaning against the wall by the window.

He came over and squatted down beside the bed.

“I’m sorry, Chase.”

“So am I, kitten. Return soon, my brothers need you.” Leaning over, he placed a kiss on my forehead.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them to say something he was gone. Rolling over, I decided to lay there and wallow in self-pity for a while before I kicked myself in the ass for being such a ninny and got on with life again.

It wasn’t like I had any say in what he did, right? We had no commitment, we had nothing. There was no reason to sit in the dark and listen to Air Supply. Seriously he was a grown man, a few hundred years kind of grown, he could feed and get his kicks too if he wanted. I wasn’t going to condemn him for that. I just couldn’t imagine kissing him, and all the bits that went along with that while knowing he filled his cravings with other women.

Laying there, I looked at it that way, and ten other ways, all close to the same. When another thought invaded my brain, it was clear that I had other things to consider. If that was truly something I couldn’t live with for, oh, let’s say forever than where did that leave me with the choosing which King to be mated with?

The choice was Troy. I didn’t know how I felt about him at all. Aside from the heat between us, he wasn’t much like Chase. He didn’t do sarcasm, which in case I haven’t mentioned it, is my favorite language. Troy wasn’t real big on sharing his thoughts either, at least never that I’d experienced. He may seem like he was all laid back and calm, but from what I’d seen he was stiff and all aloof, in a Victor way. Could I live with that?

I really didn’t think so.

What now? Sitting up, I looked around my, to be honest, crap hole of an apartment and wished for a long second that I’d never taken the job of chasing down a jumper named Wanda the Witch. Guilt filled me, as I accepted that if I hadn’t, then the balance may have been seriously screwed and apocalyptic style events would have occurred. Yeah, I didn’t want to be the cause of all that.

End result of all this deep thinking? I was a living snafu no matter which way I looked at it. Uttering about twenty of the first curses I could come up with, I got up and wandered back out into the living room. It was dimly lit by a street light. I didn’t bother turning on a light, because it looked better in the dark.

A knock on the door had me spinning with my raptor in my hand before I could take another breath. Careful to avoid the floor boards that groaned and would give away that I was here, I made my way to the door and looked out the peep-hole. My heart beat settled when I saw Quinton on the other side, looking very pissed off.

Slipping the blade back in the holster, I sighed and unlocked the door. He came in without so much as a word and closed the door behind him. When he looked around, I could see the shell-shocked look as he appraised my home.

“Yeah, it’s not Alterealm,” I said quietly trying to lighten the tension that seemed to vibrate off him.

“Did Chase come to see you?” He stepped further into the room.

“Yeah.” I moved past him and sat on the couch.

“Did he apologize?”

I sighed. “Yeah.” He still stood there radiating pure anger. “He didn’t do anything wrong, really, I was just…”

“Repulsed?”

I considered that word. “Unprepared,” I said quietly.

With a loud sigh, he came over and sat down on the arm of the chair across from me. His eyes moved over my face. “Are you coming back?”

Inside my head I was saying no, but my conscience wasn’t going to let me take the coward’s way out of this. “In a few days.”

He nodded and then sat there silently for a lot longer than I was comfortable with. “I want to say it’s not what it seemed like and tell you that you jumped to the wrong conclusion, but I can’t lie to you.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he finally looked back at me. “He was just feeding off her, Daxx.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“But you also know that’s how he rolls isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

He stood up again and looked around. “This is…”

“Worse than the wasteland?” I offered up.

“Yeah,” he shook his head. “What is that smell?”

I sniffed the air and then shrugged. “Normal for here.” I was pretty sure he was smelling the mix of my multinational neighbors and their preferred seasonings. It took a strong stomach to get used to the scent of Asian and Mexican cuisines mixing on the same floor.

“It’s horrible.” Tucking his hands in his pockets, he looked back at the door and then to me, a look of hesitation was on his face. “Uh, I didn’t come alone.”

Straightening, I glared at him and then looked at the door. “Who came?”

He cleared his throat. “Troy.” I must have looked like I wanted to bolt for the window because he raised his hand and shook his head. “He just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Rubbing the back of his neck again, he squinted at me. “Can he come in for a minute before he gives me a migraine?”

I’d forgotten about the way the brothers could nag one another from a distance. “I suppose.”

When he turned to open the door, I got up and put as much space between me and it.

Quinton held the door for Troy to come in. With a small smile, he looked back at me. “I’ll be back in a little bit.” He left and closed the door before I could object and ask him to stay.

Troy stood there in the shadows, but I could still feel his eyes on me.

“There’s no need for you to check up on me, I’m okay.” In any other reality, I could hope that would be enough and he’d agree and leave, but I wasn’t in the land of make believe tonight.

“Maybe I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to drop by and say hello.”

I came close to doing a double take at his quip. Troy was the last brother I would have thought would try to make light of the situation. “I didn’t realize you liked to slum.”

“Mmm, it’s a first for me.” He stepped softly in my direction.

“How do you like it?” His steps were careful, like he was afraid I’d bolt in the other direction. It wasn’t a bad idea, come to think of it.

“It’s a unique experience thus far.”

He was only a foot away now and I was still undecided whether I should move or hold my ground. Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back against the window frame. My nerves were humming.

“I’d like to apologize for my brother’s actions, but it would be insincere, I cannot make excuses for something that has been his way for so long.”

He stopped when he was close enough I could smell him. It was one of those smells that make you want to sigh, it was that good. “It’s fine, really.” I studied a dark spot on the floor.

“No, little queen, it is not fine.” Reaching over he placed one finger under my chin and tipped my head back so I had no choice but to maintain eye contact. “Chase should have discussed things with you. I thought he had actually with the way you were together, with the way he was behaving.”

“Well, even if he’d wanted to, our time was a little hectic with near death experiences and battles.”

A light came into his eyes. “Yet, here you are rock steady and strong.”

“For the most part.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

With a soft look on his face as his eyes explored mine he smiled. “I can’t speak for all of my brothers, but I am filled with a great pride in knowing you, and seeing how you handle everything so confidently.”

I raised my eyebrows, wondering at what point I’d been confident in anything I’d done recently, but I kept that to myself.

“I would like to ask you to come back but I don’t think that’s what you need right now.”

If his voice became any softer, I thought for sure I was going to melt into a puddle at his feet. “I just need a little space for now.”

“Of course.” With a light caress to my cheek, he lowered his hand and stood there looking down at me. “Truthfully, are you alright?”

I wouldn’t be if he kept standing there looking at me with that pained look in his eyes. I was girl after all, even though I was raised a little rough, I still had a heart for crying out loud. “Yeah.” I croaked with my mouth so dried out I could barely swallow. “I just need to regroup, nothing serious.”

With a soft sigh, he looked away from me briefly before turning those hazel eyes back on me. “I would like to discuss something with you that I feel may be required.”

His regal ruler tone had returned and my stomach tensed. I may not have known him for long but I did know enough to get that if he was back in monarchy mode, I wasn’t going to like the topic. “What’s that?”

Clearing his throat, he stepped to the window and stared out. “I have to consider your safety at all times, even when you are on your own side.”

“I’m fine when I’m over here.”

Turning, he tucked his hands into his jeans and paused to consider his next words. “I am not certain you will ever be until Marcus is brought to justice.”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. Why hadn’t I thought about that? I had challenged the big bad face to face, of course he was going to be jonesing for a piece of revenge. “What are you thinking?” My guts twisted, I knew what was coming before he even said it.

“I think it would be best if you weren’t alone while you’re over here.”

I groaned inside my head, really loud. He was right, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. “Who did you have in mind?” I held my breath.

He actually grinned. “I believe the decision was made for me on this matter. Quinton has gone home to collect a few things.”

The idea of Quinton hovering over me was way better than any of the others. “Fine.”

A look of surprise filled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything about it. “It’s a good thing you agree with Quinton, because Arius was the other volunteer.”

I cringed at the thought of trying to go anywhere with him on my side. We could dress him down into the grubbiest clothes around but with his pale grey eyes and long black hair there was no way he’d ever blend in. “I’m a little more comfortable with Quinton.”

“I’ve noticed.” He paced over to the bedroom door and looked in for a moment before turning. “Why is that?”

His question shocked me. I shrugged. “I’m…I don’t know I just am.”

“He’s very protective of you.”

Rolling my eyes, I moved away from the window and went and stood behind the couch feeling more at ease with a piece of furniture between us. “I’ve noticed that.” He didn’t move or say anything to that. “I feel safe with him. He feels like the brother I always wished I’d had.”

“Anyone of us would keep you safe, Daxx.” He almost sounded offended.

“I didn’t say he keeps me safe, I said he feels safe, comfortable.”

With slow predatory steps, he moved back in my direction, stopping on the other side of the couch. Suddenly the couch didn’t seem big enough to me. “You only feel comfortable with Quint?”

The tone in his voice reminded me of a child. “Well, no, Rafael is okay except he always wants to hug me.”

There was long silent pause before he spoke again. “I see.” He squinted at me. “I find myself wanting to be able to read your thoughts, to understand.”

I for one was glad he couldn’t read them. “What don’t you understand?”

“Have I done something to offend you? Is that why you’re not comfortable with me?”

Oh, so it wasn’t about the brothers, it was about him. “No. There’s just this …” I waved my hand around like I could pull the words out of the air, “vibe between us, it’s a little intense at times.”

“Wasn’t there a vibe,” he paused on that word for a second, “between Chase and yourself?”

Glancing at the door, I wished for Quinton to return, now. “It wasn’t the same.” Brushing my hair back from my face, I studied him. “I can’t explain it, it’s just a feeling.”

“You tense every time we’re in the same space.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” I lied.

“Mmm, perhaps it’s my mistake then.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and sighed. “Please give me a moment.” Opening it, he strode to the other side of the room. “I was in the middle of a conversation.” He said with an annoyed tone into the phone. “No.”

I looked around the room, like I shouldn’t stand there and watch him talk.

“She appears to be fine.” He glanced at me again. “Most likely.”

His whole posture had changed since he’d been standing in front of me. Now he stood there rigid, his shoulders tensed.

“In a few days.” Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Quint will be staying with her. I know. I will.” He flipped the phone closed and put it back in his pocket.

I looked at the door, what was taking Quinton so long to get back?

“I’m sorry about that. Chase wanted to make sure you weren’t over here alone.”

I tried to shrug it off. “I really think you guys are overacting, I doubt Marcus will be looking for me here.” I motioned around the room.

Shaking his head, he came back over to me in a few strides, this time stopping on the same side of the couch. “I won’t take a chance. In this, you have no choice,” he growled at me.

I’d had men go all alpha on me before and I usually had to stifle a laugh, but with him there was nothing funny about it. Alpha was something he aced without even trying. My heart trotted inside my chest and I wanted to tell him this was the kind of vibe I’d been trying to explain. Of course, my brain and body weren’t on the same page. “I don’t take orders gracefully, Troy.” It was meant as a warning, but he didn’t see it that way when he grinned down at me, moving close enough I could smell him again.

He grasped my chin with a firm hold, his eyes burning into mine. I couldn’t have looked away if I tried. “Gracefully or not, I will not let anything happen to you and you will keep someone with you at all times.”

I wanted to buck against this overbearing side of him, but the way his eyes moved over my face, like I was something precious had me pause.

“Nothing can happen to you.” His voice was gravely, but his hold was still unmovable. “I spent well over a hundred years awaiting your arrival, needing to see for myself that you existed.” I watched his eyes turn red, expecting him to step back with they did. He leaned closer. “There is nothing in this world or any other that will prevent me from keeping you whole and well.” His hand gentled against my jaw. “Please obey me in this, my little queen.”

I wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, but he had just successfully disarmed me. There was no way I could bring myself to verbally agree to obeying anyone, but I wouldn’t argue with him on it.

We stood there, his red eyes holding my own with neither of us blinking.