Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Emily

I find myself at my office before six thirty in the morning. I spend the first two hours finishing up the narrative reports that aren't due until two weeks. By the time I'm done, I pull up the financial tracking system and update it by uploading all the cash requests to a digital file and the one in my office. Then, I review the next proposals for the month of August since I already finished the month of July.

When there's literally nothing else to do or work on, I plunge into OCD mode and start to rearrange my office. I organize the folders alphabetically and through color codes. Then, I update all the digital files and also re-organize them before uploading them on the shared Google drive and Ms Teams.

I need anything to distract me - to make me stop thinking about him. Especially after last night, which started out amazing. He was everything I hoped he'd be - he was gentle, and careful, and caring. He didn't even push me to go further once I finished, and yes, that might be because we got into a massive fight right after but still.

I can't believe that he compared me to her. Just the thought of it makes my blood boil. Because it looks like I'll always stay in her shadow, no matter what. Because she's his first everything, you never forget your firsts. How do I know that?

Because he's my first everything. He's the first person that I've let my guard down around. He's my first kiss, motorcycle ride, and roommate. He's definitely the first person who has touched me the way he did yesterday. He's the first person who has made me feel this way: sick to my stomach with butterflies that I want to crush and a tingling sensation that is exactly like having high fever all the freaking time.

I hate that all my thoughts lead back to him. I hate that he's the first person I want to tell that I submitted my narrative reports. I hate that my feelings for him are way out of my control.

I let out a long exhale, pressing my forehead into the desk. I barely got two hours of sleep last night, even with all the Melatonin pills that I took. The door knocks before Melanie comes in.

She takes a look around the room before furrowing her eyebrows together. "Uh oh. Your office looks like it has come straight out of a magazine catalog and it's only eight thirty. What happened?"

I shrug, turning back to my screen. "What do you want?"

"I just saw your e-mail concerning the potential dates for the next mountain climbing activity. Logan is the one who sent out the survey so he must have those dates."

My heart drops at the mention of his name. "What? Why does he have the documents?"

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Because he's Josh's assistant and Josh asked him to?"

"But you're the one who usually does the surveys!"

She sighs. "Yeah, but it's been hectic lately. So, I kind of got Josh to agree to ask him to do them instead."

I fight the urge to groan. I was really hoping that I wouldn't have any contact with him today. "Fine. Can you please ask him to send me the dates?"

She nods. "Sure. Oh, and by the way, you look like shit."

I give her a sarcastic smile before she walks out.

Logan emails me the survey's results around ten minutes later. The fact that his work is actually spotless annoys me even more. I force myself to stop thinking and just focus on work for the next couple of hours.

This ends up being easy since Josh is sloppy as fuck and I need to review everything after him. At around noon, I'm interrupted by the sound of knocks on the door again.

"Come in," I say without looking up from my screen.

"Busy?" To my surprise, it's Adam. My chest is heavy again. I almost forgot that I'm also fighting with Adam. It really feels like the world is against me lately.

I shake my head and he gives me a quick hug before taking a seat. I notice that he brought lunch with him. "I brought you a burger since I was pretty sure that you still haven't eaten."

My lips curve upwards. "Thanks."

I didn't notice how hungry I was until the smell of burgers hit me. I start devouring my burger meanwhile Adam is as usual eating the fries first.

"How is work?" He asks.

"Good. Managed to get a bunch of stuff done today. What time is Jade coming?"

"Five. I'll be picking her up from the airport."

I nod. "Cool."

"Actually, Em, I wanted to ask you if you'd join us for dinner tomorrow."

My heart almost drops. "What?"

He takes a deep breath. "I'm ready. I'll tell her tonight."

I blink, not entirely sure that I'm hearing him correctly. Of all the times I pictured Adam telling his family about me. I sure as well didn't think it would happen this way. I thought that when I'll hear him say those words, I'll probably be the happiest person alive.

But I don't actually feel anything. Maybe it's the shock? I don't even know what to say.

"I'm sorry that it took me so long. I was just scared that she'd hurt you in any way. She's a tad overprotective and thinks that everyone is out there to get her and her family and I just wanted to protect you from all that. Even if it may not seem like it."

I let out a deep exhale. "Thanks, Adam. I appreciate it. Tomorrow's dinner is going to make me super anxious, though."

He smiles. "Me too. Although I assume you have different reasons?" His eyes point out to the door.

I shake my head. "We're fighting."

"I know. He was pissed when he came home last night, so I assumed so."

When I don't say anything back, Adam sighs. "You don't have to push people away whenever you think they're going to leave, Em."

"I don't want to talk about it. Are you cooking tomorrow?"

In the back of my head, I know that Adam's right and that I need to talk to Logan - to apologize and just figure things out. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow after dinner. But for now, Adam's here and we're having lunch during work hours, just like the old days. That's all that matters.