52 | gone; a lapse of tranquility

The death of a loved one wasn't something simple to overcome, especially if you'd been sitting beside them, minutes before their passing. Thinking how you could've saved them, what you could've done.

What you didn't do.

Nora had moved on with her life, entering university and studying a subject she was passionate about. She'd moved out, as many did, living each day normally.

However, during the night when thoughts ran loose and were unshackled by the chains that trapped them during the waking day, she despaired over the loss of her younger brother who she failed to protect.

More than her parents that were more focused on work, she loved her brother, who relied and loved her back, giving her all the warmth she'd ever need.

The colour of bleeding red, splattered under rubble was vivid despite her blurring vision at the time of the accident.

That's why, seeing him in whatever strange form, Nora felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy, and all things hopeful. But as her eyes landed on the pale smile that delicately curved his lips as he gazed down at the blood-stained scene, she felt her heart sink.

This couldn't be him. Although that was obvious, from the fact that he had died long ago, she couldn't help but wish it weren't true.

Nora's eyelashes fluttered shut before she offered a weak smile. "Thank you."

Elias, carrying the boy in his arms, glanced around coolly. "You should thank him—he was trying to walk this direction. I caught him escaping the room."

After all, his initial plan was to be a bystander until his help provided necessary. The situation hadn't reached such dire states, but behind, a stumbling, white-haired boy with an ethereal presence, pushed the door open.

Lucas' dragon, if he recalled correctly. Elias had initially attempted to return the boy to the room, but after the dragon insisted with stubborn movements, he'd relented to lifting the frail body in the direction they wanted.

Nora laughed lightly, grasping on the window ledge to pull herself up, ignoring the copious amounts of blood surrounding. "Of course. Thank you, Shen."

The boy burst into a cheerful smile, eyes appearing almost closed from his crescent eyes as his cheeks flushed with a tinge of pink.

Nora choked, turning her head away.

Elias observed her reaction, finding a semblance of Kane in her face. Was it the similarities of an older sibling, wondered the man casually. However, it was without a doubt that the dragon in his arms was no longer human.

Even if it had taken the form of the dead.

Therefore, without another word, he turned to return the boy to the further hospital rooms.

Shen scrambled in his arms, turning around to poke his head behind, waving quietly at Nora as they left the room. Nora blinked as her expression melted into a soothing smile that was on the verge of tears.

"Bye-bye, Shen. Don't wander in the halls anymore, okay?"

The dragon nodded his head obediently.

The door closed, and Nora slumped against the window, leaning her head against it as she gazed back at the empty streets and the bright sun. Then, she looked at the lump of exploded flesh on the ground with jutted bones and arms sticking out.

Covering her mouth as she turned to the side, the woman doubled over at retched violently under the basking light.

Bitterly, she wondered how long it would take until such a sight became so normal, she didn't even blink. Of course, adapting and adjusting quickly would be ideal.

But knowing how sickening this gruesome sight was, feeling anxiety in life-threatening situations—that was what made her human. That was what kept her grounded to reality, and allowed her to keep hoping.

Regardless, she would have to get stronger.

She stretched out a hand in the sky, dazed from the pain that pulsed in her body. They'd all become used to the apocalypse; it was only her still lacking.

'Patience,' she reassured herself calmly, taking a few breaths to mediate her emotions. It was okay to fear many things, and okay to not be strong.

As long as she was still alive.

As the woman contemplated her current reality, Elias stepped back into the hallway, running into Elliot who had been waiting outside. He grinned, glimpsing at Shen. "Isn't he wonderfully strong? Of course Ghost gets the best resources, damn."

"Are you going inside?" asked Elias, though indifferent to the actual answer.

"Nah, I was going to help out but she seems to be thinking over a lot of things right now. I'm actually dying of pain myself, so I'll take a break for now."

Elias hummed, passing the youth without asking any further.

He ignored Kane, who slammed the leg of a table through the stomach of a faceless, blood splattering on his white coat as he calmly tilted his head to watch Elias pass by.

"There's likely a leader who'll attack later."

Elias nodded. "I know."

"Do you intend to participate in that battle? Or will you remain a bystander, and watch us all die?"

Elias turned his head, but Kane was no longer looking at him. The man yanked the table leg from the corpse, bending down to examine the face and features of the strange human.

He wiped his hands on a handkerchief, and pulled out a pair of neat glasses.

The thought left Elias' lips before he could process it. "Does poor eyesight run in your blood?"

Kane froze. "What?"

"That foolish sponge can't see things faraway either. He insists on not wearing glasses though, unlike you."

The doctor fell silent before muttering to himself. "He had myopia? That was likely developed during the time he left... not wearing glasses could be detrimental to his eye health..."

An unexpected chuckle slipped from Elias, surprising the man himself before he collected himself. "If you can convince him to get a pair, it'll be beneficial to me as well."

"How could that benefit you?"

"He'd be able to see me better."

"......" Kane opened his mouth, then closed it again, knitting his eyebrows together tightly as he squinted at Elias. "...My question from earlier—will you be our ally?"

Elias shrugged. "That would depend on the situation, don't you think?"

"What situation do you need?"

"Whether helping would be interesting or not." came the relaxed reply with cold blue eyes. "Or if his life is at risk, I suppose."

"Then that's fine."

Kane had no expectations for Elias to begin with, prepared to rely on himself to protect the inhabitants of this hospital. If his brother was safe, then he could handle the rest.

The issue wasn't whether Elias became their ally or not—it was if that man chose to become their enemy.

"My little brother wouldn't want to wake to a blood bath."

"Can you really say that as if you know him?" smiled Elias. "After so many years have passed."

Kane flinched as if he'd been slapped, grinding his teeth together. "I believe my understanding for my younger sibling is far deeper than yours could be for any human."

"The thing you haven't considered is the fact that your darling brother isn't just any human to me."

"You...! ...You've taken an interest in him, that's all."

"I have taken an interest in him, but that's not all."

Kane glared at the other man, brushing his finger over the scalpel's handle. Resisting the impulse to drag the irritating man outside and lock the doors, he resumed his examination of the corpse.

He sliced into the stitches that covered a square block over the lip area, using a pair of gloves to peel back the flap of skin. Underneath were pale, thin lips.

Moving to push them open slightly, he saw threads of string loosely connecting the mouth together, and coagulated blood at the tiny holes where the stitches crudely pierced through.

Whoever had done it was undoubtedly a madman.

Kane couldn't be surprised when an apocalypse gave reason for people to unleash impulsive desires and ideas.

At some point, Elias had crouched down, after placing Shen back down in one of the rooms and confirming that the dragon had fallen asleep again.

Elias remain unperturbed at the scene, watching Kane unravel the stitches with a delicate and careful touch.

"Is there any point in doing that?"

He didn't think there was anything worth investigating inside the mouth cavity. The doctor's sight remained on the body, replying in a matter-of-fact tone.

"If we're to bury them, they can rest as a proper human."

"As I said, is there any point?"

Elias supposed that burying the bodies could be a basic form of respect, something that the more sentimental might choose to do. However, anything further seemed unnecessary and a waste of time.

No matter what horrors these faceless had faced, that wouldn't change the fact that they were presently dead.

Kane's fingers stilled momentarily before he continued, moving to tear off the white threads that covered the nostrils. "There doesn't have to be a point for me to do something."

"Once again, you prove yourself to truly be related to him."

"Lucas?" asked Kane before letting out a soft breath, a sheen of gentleness relaxing his stern expression. "...He's a sentimental person, despite his looks. He used to bury the baby birds that fell from trees, although I told him that it was common."

Kane's eyes had glazed over now, trapped in the nostalgic memories of the past. "He'd tell me that even if it was common, it was worth acknowledging their life. That for a second, they had struggled to survive."

"If humans, who suffer needlessly and ultimately die, can be mourned," Lucas had started in his childish yet impassive voice.

"Can't I bury an animal who desired life more than any of us?"

That was what the little boy had said, with a plain gaze that stared straight ahead, as he buried the fleshy chick with a strange tenderness.

Yet it wasn't as if Lucas bled kindness, and whole-heartedly lived life with thoughts such as those. The boy had buried the baby bird when he had a moment to spare, and walked past it when he didn't.

When Kane had curiously asked him about it, Lucas had replied in a straight tone. "I'm not responsible for mourning every dead animal."

It had been cold compared to his previous actions, but correct.

Lucas had that right—to show his kindness when he could spare it, and to hide it away when he couldn't. Expecting somebody to needlessly be caring at every moment was selfish.

Elias chuckled, pushing himself to his feet to drag a chair over. He took a seat, crossed one leg over the other, and gazed at Kane. Yet his eyes didn't seem to be looking at the man directly, and instead through him.

At a certain little boy from the past that he'd never met.

He thought, listening to the story, that he'd come to understand Lucas a little more. And that was a thing that pleased him subconsciously.

Nora limped over, pulling another chair angled away from the corpse. She smiled, slowly lowering herself down. "This reminds me of a therapy session. Only, it's a story-sharing circle."

Kane rolled his tired shoulders. "We aren't sharing stories."

"Please." said the woman gently. "It might be good to remember the time before the apocalypse, a distraction perhaps."

Elliot hopped over, squatting on the ground loudly, having felt left out after wrapping his wounds. "Distractions are just a way of running away, aren't they?"

"I'd like to think of it as a temporary break. There's nothing wrong with a distraction as long as you remember what you needed a break from."

"Heh... I can sort of get that! Anyway, stories? I love them!"

Kane glanced over at him, coldly raising an eyebrow. Elliot stuck out his tongue, before grinning. "Didn't you see my brilliant displays? Are you prepared to admit to my awesomeness?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

Kane placed the scalpel down, tugging at the underneath of the glove before rolling it off. "I didn't see it."

"What? I was loud, dramatic—how couldn't you see it?"

"I was preoccupied."

Elliot recalled the scene of seeing Kane pinned down by one of the faceless, and his face fell in realization. "Oh."

"Yes. Now, do any of you have any serious injuries that need treating?" Kane asked habitually, taking up the tone of a doctor speaking to his patients.

Nora shook her head politely. "Thank you for checking. I can't say I'm perfectly fine, but there's nothing that won't heal."

Elliot whined, jumping up in the air. "I'm in pain everywhere!"

"Which location?"

"Everywhere means everywhere! From the top of my shoulders, to my toes! Hey, Doctor, won't you treat me?"

Kane's lips remained a firm line, blinking indifferently. "Your healing abilities should've developed to a certain extent. Unless you have a shattered bone, or have been poisoned, I believe you will be fine."

"Is that really an attitude a doctor should have to their patient?"

"Yes."

"Really? I don't believe it."

The doctor sighed. "My qualifications to stand where I presently am should be enough confirmation."

"Oh right, you're an actual doctor."

"......"

Kane dismissed any further rambling from Elliot, pulling a chair further away from the corpse, taking a seat himself. His posture remained straight and tense, as if an enemy might attack at any second.

"Then, would you like to tell a story, Nora?" he said steadily, observing the woman.

"You were talking about your younger brother earlier, right? Might I ask what his name is?"

Kane had nothing against answering, parting his lips before clamping it shut again. Of course, admitting that Lucas was his brother was something he had great pride in.

Only, what would be the consequences?

He couldn't confirm the reason behind Lucas' lost memories, so he didn't dare to speak carelessly.

"I apologize... I don't want to mention his name. He left me a long time ago..." He trailed off his words, looking down with an air of sadness and a limpid gaze.

Elias coughed, chuckling under his breath. Was it another trait of the Silvius brothers to naturally resort to acting?

After being vague, Kane said carefully, "I have a sketchbook he left behind. Would you care to see it?"

Nora nodded with consideration, not wanting to pry too deep into the old memories of the dead. She knew well how it felt to want to both forget and remember the ones who left.

Since he'd successfully redirected the topic, Kane calmly stood up and turned to his office. As he passed, his gaze naturally skimmed over Elias' expression that had been bored and careless earlier.

The man's posture seemed to have straightened slightly, and his eyes had brightened with listening intrigue, even as he leaned back in the chair.

What had changed?

Was it the mention of Lucas' old sketchbook?

Kane fell silent, deciding to not comment on the vivid expression on the calculating businessman. He entered his office, unlocking a closed drawer as he pulled it out, staring in a daze as he traced over the worn cover.

He had a habit of pulling it out, twice a day in the beginning, then as he grew busier, once a week. But it was a regular routine that he couldn't go without.

With the sketchbook, he could at least pretend Lucas never left.

Hesitating, he picked it up and walked back outside, taking a seat in their little circle. A distraction was good at times, and he hadn't spoke to others about his brother in so long that he wanted to brag.

"My brother was one who easily learned different hobbies, but often got distracted and couldn't stay focused on one thing."

Kane flipped the book open from the first page with the rough sketch of a sleeping puppy, sharp lines and exuding immaturity from childhood. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't brilliant either with odd shadows, and strange proportions.

Elias leaned in a little closer, lowering his eyes to gaze at the page. Kane flicked his observant eyes up for a moment before flipping to the next page.

Elliot's eyes went wide with praise. "Damn, that's actually pretty good!"

Skill was gradually built up between drawings, moving from crude animals to detailed portraits of humans.

Two little girls laughing on a swing, bright with life.

A beaten teenager, curled up in the alleyway as his eyes glazed over in the distance.

A smiling couple that leaned against each other silently, peacefully.

There were drawings of Kane too, dozens of pages of the different expressions that were revealed in Lucas' presence. Though minor, they seemed to emanate a striking sense of life within Lucas' bold strokes.

From a glance, it could be seen that the artist drew the man as a strong, protective figure that seeped with warmth.

Kane's hand trembled over each face.

Nora smiled. "You're brother seems to have kept this hobby for a while. Perhaps it was because he wanted to keep drawing you?"

"...perhaps."

"I should take it up, sometime." mused the woman, knowing when to not keep speaking about sensitive topics. "It's said that you can capture a memory in a photo, or a drawing."

"Capture..." muttered Elias, long fingers tapping against his cheek in rhythmic movements.

And quietly, with the sunlit windows streaming with light through the white hospital halls, and the disturbing stench of blood mixing into the serenity, the gentle sound of flipping pages continued.