55 | prayer; terrible tears

[ding! message from lukiyo]

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I totally forgot yesterday was Saturday and just clocked out after work T^T BUT MERRY CHRISTMAS!! (and HAPPY HOLIDAYS) I hope you're having a festive day with your loved ones!!

Haven't replied to comments in a hot minute (I read them, I guarantee, and thank you for your wonderful, wonderful support) my brain has been busy with baking and gift buying and snow T^T

Also... I'm posting the first chapter for a new novel later in the evening, if you'd like to check it out sometime! <3

————XXX————

"Sleeping Beauty must sleep."

Lucas helped the children gather into their respective beds, tucking the blankets in if they asked, and rubbing their hair with urgency. He didn't reject any requests as he pushed the small bodies under the covers.

The white flame flickered with mocking life as it dissolved into a deep emerald shade, ominous in the stiffing darkness of the room.

The floorboards creaked with his moments, like a distant groan from underneath.

A low knocking rapped on the encased windows, through the peeks of thick vine that covered them. Lucas, standing close to the tall glass, glanced over out of habit.

At first, he saw nothing in the darkness.

Until his eyes adjusted.

Skinless faces pressed between the vines, the jagged spikes pulling and digging at their skin as their bulging eyes slapped against the glass. Engorged and dripping with dark blood, Lucas grimaced and turned his head away.

He couldn't help but glance down, careful for any withered hands that reached for his ankles underneath the beds.

Rome noticed the flash of caution in his gaze, and tilted his head out of curiosity.

Before the little boy could peek at the window, a warm palm overlapped his vision, forcing him into a mystical darkness.

"How much time?" whispered Lucas to the candle, set down by the bed.

The candle was surprisingly obedient. "8 minutes... hehehe..."

The man took a low breath, sitting on the little boy's bed. He turned his head, observing all the watching children with fearful gaits. It wasn't that he couldn't understand their turbulent thoughts, but that he had no way of helping them.

He reached for something around his neck, only to remember that it had been long stolen. A... ring, wasn't it?

Pushing away the rising thoughts, he recalled a distant memory.

Of a man, singing to him when he couldn't sleep.

In a low hymn, with a hint of awkwardness in their stiff voice at first, before it slowly blended with the night and soothed Lucas' mind.

"....."

Lucas closed his eyes, still holding his palm over Rome's curious eyes. "Sleep. As long as I'm here, I will do what there is in my power to protect you. So be at ease."

Although he wasn't one that typically comforted others, he knew what to say. He only couldn't comfort himself.

In the silence, the scratching on the window continued to itch at the children's ears. However, Lucas' voice overpowered it, a lull that made them dizzy with comfort and relaxation, even as they buried themselves with their blankets.

He hummed slowly, various snippets of melodies he recalled.

He spoke lyrics at random, with the lack of any soothing singing, but a calm and steady voice that continued without falter. The man's voice was dull and quiet, with an air of melancholy.

However, it gradually dispersed the lingering fear, enough for the children's thoughts to dull and fall into a daze.

The children begun to sink into the stiff mattress, and large eyes fluttered shut. Squeezed tightly at first, the closed eyelids relaxed and soft breathing mixed in with Lucas' quiet voice.

Lucas opened his eyes and immediately turned to stare at the closed door.

He imagined the white face peeking underneath the cracks, its hollowed cheeks pressed against the dirty floor as it listened to their sounds.

Like a ghost, he trailed away from Rome's bedside, checking that all the children seemed to be in a state of slumber, however light or deep. The morphed face on the candle reminded him with glee, "3 minutes. Hehehe... can you fall asleep in time?"

Instead of making the human tremble in fear and anxiety, the candle was met with a stoic expression of absolute, unshakable confidence.

Lucas, in a deadpan voice, resolutely stated: "I can sleep."

"...what? There's 3—no, 2 minutes now!"

The man crawled into his bed, lying down on his back in a rather proper position and shut his eyes calmly. As a person who often lost interest in hobbies and worldly matters, his consistent hobby was sleeping.

In order to fall asleep when he had nothing to do but pass time, he became a skilled sleeper. His chest rose and deflated steadily.

"Hey!" hissed the candle. "It can't be that you already fell asleep?"

"Zzz...."

The disgusting, carved out face became more wretched as there was no response. It opened it's waxy mouth to speak, before the concaved eyes went wide and the flame was snuffed out.

Darkness consumed the entire area.

Creaking loudly, the door was slowly pushed open to reveal the room of slumbering children.

A wheel rolled, round and round as it rattled and continued to spin.

The wood floor murmured in fear.

A small boy sleeping in the middle row shivered, feeling his ears itched as he heard the sound of a spinning wheel, constantly moving without stop. He raised a tender hand to scratch his ear, half-asleep.

Feeling uncomfortable, he flipped over on the stiff mattress. Even the hospital bed felt much softer, sulked the child in his dazed mind.

However, his stomach grumbled after waking up slightly, making him become more aware and alert. The daze slowly dispersed from his mind.

And panic replaced it.

The boy sweated, soaking into the blankets. He kept his eyes squeezed tight, but the irresistible temptation of peeking into the darkness prodded at him. Habitually after he woke up, he would always open his eyes even if he went back to sleep after.

But a sinking feeling plunged his stomach, and a sob crawled at the back of his throat. The little boy, with the urge to use the bathroom, remained as still as a statue.

Hurry at let it become day time, or have that reliable adult wake up and save him!

The last thought soon left his mind—the boy didn't want to put anybody else in danger because he accidentally woke up.

In fact, he knew his sleep habits weren't the best.

Regret filled his body, wishing that he'd said something before, if only for a sliver of hope to delay death. The spinning wheel came closer to his perked ears, passing bed by bed, agonizingly slow.

Then, the sound passed his bed and went further away.

The door creaked shut, and the young boy breathed out a sigh of relief in his heart, careful not to make any particular sounds.

Waiting, he tossed and turned but was unable to fall asleep with uneasiness startling him awake. He listened carefully, but heard no other sounds and released his temptation to peek his eyes open.

His eyes cracked open a sliver.

And a pair of hollowed, concaved eyes stared back at him.

He let out a silent scream and he violently flinched, slamming his tender head into the headwall as an unpleasant odor escaped from his bladder out of fear. Slamming his shaking hands over his mouth, he trembled.

The hollow eyes rolled back and forth, before stark green pupils appeared on the floating white face, stretching out in a bloodied smile that showed the gum.

Behind, a silent and headless woman's body stood beside a wheel that spun round and round, hypnotizing.

A piece of thread continued to spin in the wood, and upon closer inspection the boy realized the thread was strange and stringy, a weird texture that didn't look like fabric. He glanced down at his fingers, at a little hangnail that poked out on his thumb.

If he pulled it, the skin would peel... and if it didn't break, it would continue peeling his flesh in a long strip that continued down his arm...

Nausea stirred in the boy's stomach.

Then, he glanced over at a sharp needle that was near the place the string connected. He slowly turned his head back to the smiling white face, inches away from him.

A strange urge to touch the needle overcame him.

His eyes glazed over as the face continued to watch him in the darkness. His arms and legs moved on their own, and the floor creaked underneath his soft steps.

Fear screamed in his head, and his mind was split between his want and his need. He didn't want to touch it—no, he wanted to sleep, wanted to live, wanted to yell for help. The boy sobbed wretchedly.

But he needed to touch it.

The sharp point that seemed to gleam like a treasure in the night, the instinct to grab it that he couldn't resist.

But he didn't want to, didn't want to, didn't want to—

A pair of slender hands wrapped around his neck, massaging the boy's slender shoulders. They were icy cold, and made his body curl into itself, even if he couldn't move properly.

They eased him into taking another step, forcefully digging into his shoulders. He glanced back as he shook, snot dribbling from his nose.

The white face continued to smile at him.

The headless body urged his forward.

He raised a slim arm out, skinny from his lack of appetite during his stay in the hospital. He choked and tried to resist the strange pull as his hand moved closer against his will.

His finger pressed lightly against the tip. And then it plunged itself further onto the needle, stabbing through his skin and digging into his flesh.

The boy helplessly stabbed his finger further and further on the needle, his mind covered in a fine mist as he struggled to resist, the tears flowing out more hurriedly as his eyes widened in horror.

"I..." The child croaked, his cries soundless to the others in the room. "...sob...help... me..."

————XXX————

Lucas opened his eyes to the deep darkness, waiting for his vision to adjust.

The moment he did, he swept his eyes over the beds, counting once, and then twice as his expression grew poorer. His fists curled into the bedsheets as his empty gaze remained on a bed.

With the blankets pulled out, and the lack of a child sleeping away.

"....."

Without waking anybody up, he slowly slipped out of his bed and walked to stand beside the empty mattress. His nose scrunched, narrowing onto the yellow stain in the bedsheets.

And the wet marks imprinted onto white covers.

If he closed his eyes, perhaps he would hear them. The soundless cries for help that had gone unheard.

Silently, he pulled the blankets over the wet stains on the bed that was proof of the child's terror at night. Closing his eyes, he remained in place for several moments, head lowered.

That was what Will saw as he lifted his head groggily, immediately skimming over the room to count the numbers. The teenager wanted to protect all of them, desperately.

His dark eyes landed on an empty bed, and the tall man who stood beside it with his head lowered in a silent prayer. A detached sorrow surrounded him as his white eyes opened slightly, peeking through the dense eyelashes.

In the darkness, Will thought there was consuming emptiness in that gaze. But also deep, compelling sorrow that lapped onto the ground.

The disparity was almost terrifying.

"...Lucas..."

The man turned his head, raising a finger to his lips. "Don't wake up the other children," he whispered. "Let them sleep a little longer."

Well, he would have to wake them up soon, thought Lucas as he remained staring. They couldn't sleep for too long, or it'd affect their ability to fall asleep in the evening.

However, he wanted to wait a few more minutes.

A few minutes of silence granted to the child who struggled on his own and died.

Will bent his head down gloomily as quiet tears streamed down his face. His hands clutched his blankets pathetically as he gritted his teeth. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to scream, but his throat was too weak.

He couldn't do anything. He was too weak. If this adult hadn't been here, how many more would've died? But it wasn't Lucas that should hold the responsibility of protecting them—it was him.

After spending so long in the hospital together, many of the children had naturally formed a sibling sort of bond.

When Will was stuck to his bed, left to do nothing but stare outside at the birds flying high in the sky while he was bound to the earth, it were the little boys and girls that ran into his room with flowers and drawing, beaming with a silly smile.

He wanted to repay them, even in his illness. For him, the apocalypse wasn't an ending, it was a beginning.

His illness subsided, enough for him to leave the bed and protect the children he held dear. His little family in the hospital, after his own family left him to rot because of his uselessness.

Will swallowed harshly, his teeth grinding together with more ferocity.

A hand touched the top of his head softly. The teenager looked up, staring with wide, despairing eyes at the adult who watched him calmly.

"Is... any way to save... all..." Will crumpled into the bed, thin shoulders shaking.

Desolation darkened Lucas' downcast gaze. He offered no words of comfort, but only the unwanted truth. "You should focus on saving at least one."

"...I see..."

"I'll focus on saving the rest."

Lucas spoke without glancing at the teenager who looked up with wide surprise, parting his lips. "Although you may harbour a distrust toward adults, and I can't guarantee anything, you can rely on me."

They weren't sweet words, promising and smothering Will in false promises, but they felt more reliable than anything he'd heard before.

He'd been unknowingly putting the burden of protecting all the children onto himself, feeling like a failure for being able to do nothing. But he wasn't alone, and it was okay to rely on others.

It was okay.

Lucas waited until the boy finished crying and harshly wipe away his tears before the man went to wake the other children up.

How could he protect the children while he was asleep?

And if he woke, not only would death be likely promised, it would mean he wouldn't be able to protect them later either. What was the right answer?

Somebody knocked on the door, and Wren's voice soon followed after. She sounded exhausted, losing the usual careless air. "Are you awake?"

Lucas pulled the door open. "I'm awake."

She pushed herself off the wall she'd been leaning on, skimming over the children in the room. After realizing one had gone missing, she laughed wryly. "You too?"

"How many?" Lucas instantly asked.

"Two."

Lucas nodded quietly in understanding, while the woman scratched the back of her head with frustration. "I couldn't do anything. My powers are limited in the Story. I managed to get the children asleep but I couldn't control what happened at night... ahh..."

He shook his head. "I didn't expect you to protect all of them."

The woman faltered, before knitting her eyebrows. "And what's that supposed to mean? That you have no faith in my ability?"

"That I expect you to survive, first and foremost."

Wren stared blankly, conflicted before turning her head away with an irritated scowl. She really couldn't say anything in response—and she knew what he implied. He wouldn't put that responsibility on any other person.

But didn't that mean blaming himself for all their deaths?

Wren turned her head back, watching the scene deeply as everything reflected in her obscure gaze. Something changed in her stare, twisting as the world continued around her.

She really couldn't hate this man in front of her. She couldn't even remain entirely indifferent. As she had always intended to.

And if she decided to stop playing the bystander... then she would personally interfere.

Even if Lucas had an undeniable control over his emotions, that didn't mean he felt nothing. Just because he chose not to show his anger or sorrow, didn't mean it wasn't there.

At that moment, Berry ran up and hugged his leg. The little boy nuzzled his head, pouting as tears welled up in his eyes.

Lucas flinched, taken aback by the sudden approach.

"...my friend... his name was Finn." Berry choked, forcing himself to swallow back the snot and tears. "Did he disappear?"

"....."

Lucas felt relieved that he hid the wet mattress from the children's eyes. They didn't need to know their friend sobbed and wet his pants out of horror, they didn't need to think about his helpless pleas.

He would bear all that in their place.

Crouching down to one knee, he stared silently at Berry, who broke down at that moment, rushing forward to wrap his clammy hands around Lucas, and wailed loudly.

The candles casting light into the dim hallways flickered wildly.

Berry's breakdown caused a chain reaction, causing several of the younger children to sniffle, before dissolving into wretched tears. It was a dark symphony of drowning sorrow and despair.

Tears shed for their friends lost and to be lost, for themselves and their terror.