70 | conversations; a brother's embrace

Wren kicked the door open, hair messed and tangled. "Hey! Who locks the doors in a hospital?"

Elias, crouched between Lucas' legs, glanced back and smiled unabashedly. "A person who would like privacy, I assume."

"No such thing." scoffed the woman, unbothered as she let out a long, obscene whistle. However, her eyes scanned over Lucas' body, observing any displays of weakness or side effects. "What, are you guys together now or something?"

"No." supplied Lucas helpfully.

"Not yet." said Elias simultaneously.

"Those are two similar answers, yet they both mean rather different things." remarked Wren with a shrug. "Whatever, I don't really care. Elias, Sylvia mentioned wanting to speak to you."

The man's smile faltered. That was right, he'd seen the woman earlier, unexpectedly standing in the hospital as if she were meant to be there.

He hadn't asked the details, hadn't been interested in hearing them, but the master of hers was a troublemaker. Despite that, he was also a man with many connections—Sylvia may have something useful to comment on.

Elias sighed, waving goodbye to Lucas with a last graze against the ear lobe, striding away leisurely.

Wren watched him leave, and then turned. Her smile slipped away and she stared with deep seriousness, smoothening her hair as she plopped down besides Lucas.

"The memories. You've received them?"

A touch of pain clouded Lucas' gaze. "I have. All of them."

Wren bit her lip nervously, but decided not to comment. There was nothing she could say to ease the memories of death and violence, nor words she could speak that'd make what he saw any less.

Finally, she parted her lips. "I warned you, Lucas. Those memories can overwrite your own, and ultimately, force you to become somebody else."

"There were only five of those I could steal the ability from. I only saw five."

"And dying five times, feeling in engraved in your flesh as if it were your own pain—feeling ultimate despair and dread, and utter helplessness, is okay?" snapped Wren, irritated. "Because it's not. Dying five times is one thing, dying feeling like another person is another."

"I can bear it. I had to bear it. Wren, would you have left those kids to be prisoners of Maleficent whims, ghosts tied to a prison they could never leave?"

"I... I would if necessary."

"And I couldn't."

Wren whipped her head around as if to say something, and then gave up with a frustrated wave of her hand. "Fine. Let's talk about that strange creature. Your entanglement won't do you any good—he's not a good person."

Lucas shook his head numbly. "I know. In the Story, being so close to death and watching others, children, fall to it, I realized how fast things can change."

"Your point?"

"Even if our feelings are fleeting, I don't care. I," Lucas hesitated, clearly unwilling to continue. His voice lowered to a murmur, a forbidden hush. "I don't want to be alone, anymore."

There was something about Elias that Lucas could trust. The fact that man would persistently stay alive, continue to bother him endlessly.

A companion to the end.

At least, even if he died, he didn't spend his decade entirely alone. A company that was irritating, bothersome but there. Present.

And that was enough, wasn't it?

And if it wasn't, who had the right to tell him otherwise but himself?

Wren frowned. "Are you in love with him?"

"I'm not." replied Lucas calmly. "But the idea of remaining by his side isn't an awful one." At least, Elias' warmth eased the throb that chilled his chest, and distract from the bloody corpses that lingered in his mind.

A dysfunctional relationship, perhaps. With Elias proposing due to his slight interest that he didn't want to lose, and Lucas agreeing for the sake of company.

But it worked. And if it worked, what else mattered to them?

Wren fell back onto the bed, peering up at the ceiling. "I don't really get it. But I'm sure that you have your reasons, I guess. Anyway, just stay alive, foolish link of mine."

"Of course. I have a lot to do."

"Take it easy for now, how about it? You're a delinquent, why don't you slack off, go beating some people up, or whatever it is you do in your free time. For the sake of your mentality, pause, and take a break."

Lucas had the nerve to look offended. "I like to slack off."

"Sure. Then go do it." Wren reached out and shoved Lucas backwards, sending a jolt of pain through the man. "Lie down, stay put. Don't do anything."

A knock sounded on the door, and both parties glanced over.

"Come in!" shouted Wren with a loud yawn.

A white coat fluttered, and Kane took a step forth as he looked around, a burst of relief rushing in his eyes as he saw Lucas' awoken self. Wren hopped off the bed, hopping closer to the doctor, who stepped back.

"What, scared of me? I'm a sweetheart, god. Well, you have perfect timing. Take this patient for some fresh air, won't you?"

She didn't bother wait for a response before strolling out of the room, whistling as she went. Kane stared blankly, before straightening his shoulders and stepping further inside.

Kane offered a hand out, before letting it drop to his side. He offered a weak smile. "Are you feeling better, Lucas?"

Hesitation pulled at Lucas, confusing his mind. "Yeah. Thanks."

There was an awkward lapse of silence, and Kane swallowed harshly. Once, they'd been siblings who often remained in silence, occasionally speaking up about various topics, comfortable and relaxed.

"Would you... care to join me for a walk?"

Had it been any other person, Lucas would've stared at them oddly and rejected the request. Yet he felt compelled to accept. "...sure."

They left the hospital to the outside gardens, the fresh gust of wind refreshing Lucas' body and mind. He stopped for a second to lift his chin and listen to the distant whistles of birds, and the gentle sway of trees.

In the corner, Lucas caught sight of the rows of graves, stiffening. Then, he walked over and quietly lowered his head in a soft prayer.

"I'm sorry." he whispered to the ghosts that weren't listening.

Kane watched the guilt that etched into his younger brother's aloof face, and curled his fingers into fists. "You have nothing to apologize for, Lucas."

"I promised them."

"It was a promise that kept them alive—your words allowed them to keep hoping. But you should not blame yourself for their deaths. As you wouldn't blame any of the other children, nor would you blame Wren. Why blame yourself?"

Lucas shook his head numbly, feeling weak and inferior by the doctor's side. Was that due to the man's study of humans, his role as a doctor that made Lucas feel exposed?

"I promised." repeated Lucas, his voice cracking slightly. "You don't know what it's like, when even in their deaths, they trusted me."

There was a moment of silence, and Kane sighed softly.

In a longing tone, the doctor spoke. "I have a younger brother."

Lucas turned his head with a frown, confused at the abrupt conversation, but didn't interrupt as Kane's mouth curled into a gentle smile, warmed by the sun.

A familiar smile, thought Lucas as he was swept into a daze of old, forgotten memories. As if whoever Kane was thinking about was a person so undeniably precious and beloved.

"He's clumsy and proud, but he cares and feels for people more than I ever could. I thought, because of that side of him, I needed to protect him. I was willing to give up everything if it meant he could live peacefully."

Another pause, and Kane choked in memory.

"He trusted me, and even if he didn't like showing it, I knew it better than anybody. He trusted me, and in the end, ran away from me. I failed him. I... wasn't enough."

An ache layered over Lucas' chest, and his frown deepened. "I doubt he thought that way." He didn't understand why the painful veil over Kane's expression seemed so terrible. "He ran away likely knowing how much you loved him. He ran away because he loved you."

The doctor's gaze softened and he shook his head. "I would do anything to go back in time and change my choices. I fear that he hates me, wherever he is."

"It's too late to regret the past. You can only reach out to him now. And,"

Lucas felt a clump in his throat, preventing him from speaking. He pressed his lips together, easing his turbulent feelings. "And I think you're wrong. I don't think he would've ever hated you. I think he spent a long time missing you."

Kane's eyes widened in surprise behind his gold rimmed glasses, and he choked out a wry laugh as his tall stance crumpled slightly. "Is that so?"

"That's what I believe."

"I see. Thank you, Lucas. Regardless... I wanted to tell you, as you've said, there's no regretting it. To the very end, I don't think the children regretted trusting you. Nor do I think they blame you, either."

"I'll keep that in mind." said Lucas slowly, hesitantly.

The moment became still again, awkward in a comforting way, one that Lucas surprisingly didn't mind. They listened to the silence of the dead world around them, praying to the sleeping bodies underneath packed layers of dirt.

One day, perhaps soon, it could be them buried underneath, listening to prayers.

When Lucas stood up again, ready to turn and go back to the hospital building, Kane raised a hand to stop him. A hand that lacked all confidence that the doctor often held.

"Can I ask you for an odd request?"

Lucas stared, then nodded.

With tense shoulders, arms clad in the white coat that had been crumpled at the ends, the doctor spread out his arms and stood still.

Lucas felt at a loss of how to respond. Kane, too, was unfamiliar with forms of affection, and nearly regretted his choices at once. Remaining silent, it was Lucas who spoke up.

"A hug? You're asking for a hug?" he asked in confusion.

Kane's gaze tittered away, before returning. "Yes. If possible."

Lucas considered the request, and took an unsteady step forward until he felt the warm and protective embrace of Kane's, seeming to shield him away from all his terrible thoughts that had been floating around him.

His body remained stiff, unresponsive to the hug while not knowing how to raise his arms, or what to do—but Kane didn't seem to mind.

Kane felt a lump in his throat as his chest constricted, pulling tightly at the uncomfortable person in his embrace. His brother, who had once been surprisingly attached to him, who he hadn't seen in a decade.

His brother who couldn't remember him.

Kane held Lucas tighter, frightened by the thought of losing his only family again.

Pulling away, Kane's stern expression melted into a soft warmth. "Thank you, Lucas. I'm sorry to inconvenience you."

"No... it's fine."

"Really, I apologize for startling you—"

"No, it's fine—"

"Okay, okay!" Wren jumped out of the bushes, making both men stiffen in surprise. "God, talk about awkward? Anyway, you've had your moment, it's time for lunch."

Lucas scowled. "Were you following us the entire time?"

"Do I look like I have nothing better to do?"

"You look as if stalking is your only pastime. So, yeah."

"And to think I've been so kind to you recently, my dear link." Wren shook her head before tossing a flat object towards Lucas. "Your phone, right? There's been a spam of notifications, so I thought you'd want to take a look."

Lucas was a little confused. The only contact he had was Kane's number, and he rarely received messages on other applications.

Then, seeing a familiar user name pop up, alongside cheery messages, he recalled his loyal fan who once texted him on a weekly basis, if not more.

[cam0311: author! tell me you're still alive, pleaseeee! i've only been hearing bad news for the past month, and i think i'll shrivel up and sob if i can't read anymore books from you!]

[cam0311: hey, you're not really dead right? ahhhh, i've lost all meaning to life!]

[cam0311: ok, in all seriousness, are you alive? please respond... everybody i know has died... at least one person, please be alive]

Amusement crept into his warmed gaze at the flurry of messages across his screen, all worries about his well-being. The youth, even in Lucas' solitude, had been one constant that remained bright in his life.

He, having nobody but himself, would read her messages after coming home, battered and bruised from a fight. There was some relief in knowing somebody worried, however slightly.

[Lu: I'm alive.]

Then, after a thought, he typed out another message. [Lu: How are you doing?]

The phoned vibrated immediately after. It seemed that even during an apocalypse, the youth still had the bad habit of always being on their phone.

[cam0311: HUHUHU AUTHOR YOU'RE ALIVE!! i'm alive too! after all, how can i die knowing i still have to read your future novels?? or at least see your drawings??]

[Lu: I see. Then please stay alive. If there ever comes a chance you leave your country and venture into America, let me know.]

He waited, however, no other response came in. A frown tugged on his lips as he refreshed the page, noticing the low bar on his phone. Regardless, it had been working only seconds earlier.

Had the phone finally disconnected, or did the youth encounter some trouble?

He had no way of knowing.

Wren shamelessly peered over his shoulder, humming. "I have to say, the contrast between your dull texts and her happy ones is really amusing."

Lucas glanced over. "I have also learned the way of texting in her tone."

"You've learned? Why are you speaking as if it's some high-class skill?"

"I adapted her texts into my own form."

"Explain more clearly, please?"

At that, Kane pulled out his phone almost shyly as he opened the messaging app, where the pinned chat was a person by the name of 'L'.

Wren's eyes skimmed through the chats before she bellowed out with bright, exaggerated laughter. "Why did you... hahaha... why did you have to act so fake? I'd almost believe you were a youth!"

"I am a youth. I'm still young."

"That's clearly not what I mean."

But her words made Lucas tilt his head, black strands tickling his eyes before he combed it back behind his ears. Why did he put on an act when speaking to Kane, pretending to be a young teenager?

Although that method of speech lowered other's guards, it wasn't absolutely necessary.

The doctor fell into a round of thinking, listening to the conversation by the side. He wasn't entirely certain of Lucas' odd texts either, though he assumed it was a way to mask his identity. However, if Lucas couldn't remember him...

Suddenly, the older brother felt exceedingly worried. Was Lucas undergoing a crisis about his age? He was certainly much older—as an older brother, what should he do?

Many young adults begun to stress at they steered deeper into their 20's and towards their 30's. Of course, Lucas' career which seemed to have fallen in the path of delinquency, might add to the stress.

Kane was thinking so hard that Wren almost saw steam coming from his ears, as her gaze flickered over, past Lucas.

"Lucas..." said Kane finally, his voice weak. "You're still young, okay? Don't worry, compared to me, you're practically an infant."

"....." Perhaps the science that fresh air made one healthy was a lie, because the doctor clearly seemed to lose a few braincells after stepping outside. "I know I'm young."

"Really. There are many years ahead of you, it'll be okay."

"I said I know that I'm young."

"There are cases of depression in young adults that feel that they haven't accomplished all that they sought to do. If you're unsatisfied, in either career or in romantic relationships—"

"I am young. I'm not unsatisfied either."

Kane paused, staring at the other with deep suspicion as genuine worry soaked into his features, radiating a gentle and caring air. Beside him, Lucas felt entirely confused as to how the conversation steered to where it was.

As a bystander, Wren laughed loudly again at the over protective doctor, and the bewildered delinquent that hadn't a clue what was going on.

The birds flying high in the blue skies seemed to twitter in amusement, circling the scene of an exasperated young man, an exceedingly worried man in a white coat, and a rowdy woman full of cheeky grins.