Chapter 117

Chapter 117

Yachting all over the Mediterranean had been an absolute dream. I loved being out on the water and

seeing the crystal blue skies every single morning. Waking up to crashing waves and a gentle sea

breeze was absolutely magical.

I could have stayed out there for years and years and never grown tired. But I felt rejuvenated and

ready to tackle some more work. I shifted in my seat as the people on set helped me to get the mic

fixed.

Today was the first official interview for the movie. The trailer was due to drop within the next two or so

hours and I was more than excited to finally release this baby into the world. There was a huge weight

on my shoulders because people expected this movie to be good. And they had every right to. The

book had been a major success and I wanted the movie to follow suit. The fan base deserved a stellar

movie.

But not only was this interview important for the movie, it was also important for me. This was going to

be the first public thing that I did. Everyone had just been catching glimpses of me as I milled around

the streets of Los Angeles. But now they were going to hear from me for the very first time since my

miscarriage. It had been almost three months since then and I had healed some

The necklace that my husband had gotten me rested on my chest. The fact that our baby was no

longer alive was an incredibly painful fact to come to terms with. But I was finally in a much better place

than I was before.

“Okay, we are ready here, Adelaide.” Emily, the interviewer, smiled at me. “If at any point in time you

feel like you cannot continue please let me know and I will gladly shift the conversation or I will end the

interview.

I nodded feeling grateful that I had made the right decision on picking which interviewer I wanted first.

There were a lot of people who wanted to get a story out of me but I was not ready to delve that deeply

and I didn’t think I ever would be.

The rest of the crew readied the lights and made sure that all the cameras were pointing in the right

direction. We got the countdown from 10 and my heart raced in my chest. I had been over this with

Damon multiple times.

Just breathe through it. It’s not life or death, you are fine.

I repeated his words to myself inside of my head.

And the camera began to roll.

“Adelaide Steyn, what a pleasure it is to have you here.”

“Thank you for having me.”

I took a deep breath and hoped that this wouldn’t be the shit show I had convinced myself it would be.

The interview was over after about 45 minutes. If I was being quite honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought

it would be. Emily had been so gracious and kind to me, she didn’t delve into topics that I didn’t want to

speak about, something that I was truly and utterly grateful for.

But as I kicked off my shoes so that I could lounge on the couch while I waited for my husband to get

home, I was hit by a sudden wave of nausea.

I had to brace myself against the wall to keep myself upright. My hand came to clutch my stomach,

willing the discomfort to pause but sadly, it only increased.

I had been so nervous about this interview that I didn’t eat breakfast, so maybe that was why I was

feeling a little out of sorts. I tried to breathe through it all but nothing was working. My stomach churned

and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep myself from spilling all the contents inside of my

stomach. I raced toward the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time.

When I was done I felt a little bit better, but I didn’t understand where that had come from. I leaned my

head against the wall of the bathroom loving the way the marble cooled my heated skin.

With much effort, I made it to my feet and stumbled to the sink. I turned on the water and washed my

hands then I splashed my

face with some cold water hoping to wake my senses up a little more.

When I lifted my gaze I saw that I was as pale as a ghost’s eyes had dark circles under them. Thank

God they had some makeup on otherwise I would have scared the viewers.

The last time I had felt anything similar to this I had been pregnant and 1—

The possibility of something similar being the reason why I was feeling this way now hit me like a ton of

bricks. I stood there frozen with the water still coming out of the faucet and my mind trying to calculate

the days.

There was no way I was pregnant.

My body seemed to move on autopilot. I rushed up the stairs taking them two at a time until I came to

our bathrooms. I rummaged through the cabinets digging for the pregnancy test that I had stuffed in the

back of the compartment. My hands

were shaking and my heart was racing. I had no idea what to think.

Damon and I weren’t even trying to have a child. In fact, the last thing we wanted was a child. I was still

healing from the last time and I didn’t know if I was fully ready, both mentally or physically.

With shaking hands, I peed on the stick and then I waited for what seemed to be an eternity. The box

said that it would take 10 minutes for me to get a result. But the minutes felt like years and I was left

with nothing but my nerves and my thoughts.

Becoming a mother was one of my greatest dreams. But after the miscarriage, I worried about what my

next pregnancy would bring. Would I face the same challenges? Would my body even be ready to

carry another child? Was my heart even ready to love another child?

I pressed my hand over the small ‘G’ pendant that hung on my necklace. My sweet baby, Garrett, was

meant to be here in my arms, new and ready for the world. I still mourned for him, I still missed him. But

maybe this was a chance at a new beginning, a fresh start.

“Adelaide?” My husband’s voice carried into the bathroom as he entered our room. “Baby, are you in

here?”

“In here,” my voice came out so shaky.

My husband walked into the bathroom, his eyes already filled with worry from the tone in my voice. He

saw me standing by the counter with my elbows pressed against the marble and my eyes staring into

the mirror and his body tensed.

His eyes moved from my face down to the object in front of me. At first, he didn’t say anything and then

his eyes met mine again in the mirror.

“Is that…” his voice trailed off as his eyes moved between mine and the pregnancy test in front of me.

You could cut the tension inside the bathroom with a knife, neither one of us said a thing or moved until

a little shaky cry left my lips. Then my husband was at my side in seconds. The tears that 1 had fought

so hard to fight back filled my eyes and spilled over

“I’m scared,” I said into his arms as he held me to his chest. “We weren’t even trying. I… I don’t know if

I’m ready”

He pulled back, his large hands cupping my face. “Is it positive?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t looked.” I was sure that the time was up.

“You want to look together?” His soft voice was trying to ease my nerves but it didn’t do anything

I nodded, my hands balling the material of his shirt into my fists.

“One…”

He grabbed the upside-down test on the counter.

Two..”

His eyes held mine and I could see the message behind them. “Whatever happens, I’m here!

“Three..”

We both turned our heads to the test in his hand.

Oh. My. God.

I had no idea what to feel.