Chapter Thirty One

With traumatic events come scars, scars you have to learn to move on from.

Funke and I weren't lucky because the scars these events left on us has somehow affected our lives and the lives of those around us but Funke has it worse than me.

Everyone has been there for me, Funke especially and I don't blame her, neither am I surprised. No one would want their case to be as bad as hers. It's bad enough that the doctors say I survived a gun to my head with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but I have to make sure it doesn't escalate to anything more and that I get rid of it as soon as possible.

One thing I hate in this life is having to take drugs but if I want to get better I have to take them. Adrian, Andrew and Funke have been making sure that I take my drugs and go to my therapist when I should but sometimes you definitely slack.

Like today, I didn't take my drugs early because I've been busy. With Brayleigh, it's hard to keep up. Funke has been frowning at me ever since she found out.

"Damilola," Funke glared at me.

Now she was also angry with me over another issue, this time, it's Andrew.

"Olufunke," I fired back. "Don't start please." I warned.

She wants me to get back with him and though I've explained to her my reasons, she sees them  as stupid.

"You know I'm going to start either way," she rolled her eyes.

"And I'm begging you not to start," I pleaded with her with my eyes. "Please."

"What exactly is wrong with you?" Her head moved from side to side. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything Funke," I scoffed.

"You love this guy so why do you keep pushing him aside? You clearly need him and he's right in front of you." She slapped her hands together to emphasize her point.

I sighed. "You're right, I need him but I'm not ready to need him."

She chuckled dryly. "Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Funke I need time," I didn't look her way as I breast fed my baby.

"You've needed time for how long now? It's been five months."

"Funke tori Olo'un,"I was almost yelling. "Mo fi Olo'un be yin drop this topic please." (I'm begging you in the name of God)

She huffed and sat opposite of me. "I just don't understand you Riya, I don't."

"What don't you understand?" Adrian now joined us in the living room and told Funke to stand up so he could sit down and she sat on his laps.

I rolled my eyes, "guys there are plenty of chairs in this house." I gestured around the house.

None of them responded and I rolled my eyes again.

"Babe, what don't you understand please?" Adrian placed his hands on her hips before bringing them to the front.

"I don't understand Victoria," she turned so she was fully facing me and was sitting sideways on Adrian's laps. "I don't know how much time she needs again. I don't know why she's running away from Andrew that is right in front of her. What does it take her to get back together with him?"

Adrian looked between both of us and smacked his lips. "Babe she needs time to sort her head out."

"You too?" She threw her hands in the hair. "I'm not saying she should rush back to getting together with him but she can at least open up her mind to him again. She's completely closed up about Andrew. She doesn't even want to hear his name."

"Babe, they live in the same house." Adrian deadpanned.

She groaned. "You don't understand me do you?"

"I don't think so." His eyes moved to me for a split second.

I was so happy that Andrew wasn't home at the moment. I can't imagine having this conversation with him right upstairs.

Funke slowly nodded her head. "Right I forgot that you two have the same mentality."

This caused Adrian and I to pull a completely confused face as if what she was saying doesn't make any sense.

"What mentality now?" I spoke up now. It was as if I wasn't even in the room.

Funke faced me. "The mentality of not opening you heart and mind to possibilities. Before Adrian decided that it was time to give us," she pointed to herself then Adrian, "a try it took a lot of time and convincing. Same with you, it took you four years for you to give Andrew a chance again. I know what he did was wrong but you know how much you love him, four years was a God damned long time. If you guys were apart I'd have said okay, but you guys roll together, you have the same circle, you life's revolve around each other so it shouldn't have taken that long." She paused to catch her breath. "And if you agreed to date him earlier then I'm very sure your father wouldn't have brought Miles for you to marry despite the fact that Andrew was there. You guys were always going off and on like NEPA, unsure. I think it's time that you plant your feet down and completely decide for yourself if you want Andrew. Are there options for you or it's Andrew till eternity?"

Silence followed and Adrian and I looked at ourselves. She was right and we both knew it.

"Funke you do know that if you want to talk about opening your heart and mind to possibilities you're not the best at that too." Adrian broke the silence.

"My case is different Adrian, we all know my history." She faced him now. "And I don't take as long as you both do to make up my mind." She placed her hand on his chest.

Memories of those four years in college and how I completely pushed Andrew away only for when I accepted him back, my father wanted to marry me off.

Andrew and I never looked like a sure couple. Always wavering back and forth and it's all my fault.

The fear of getting hurt again was always there.

I guess what I never really thought about was the fact that if I'm ever in a relationship, we'll always hurt ourselves but it's up to both of us to fix it and move on.

"Brayleigh is asleep, let me take her inside." Funke stood up now and took Brayleigh from my hold, heading for her room.

I didn't even realize that she was asleep. I adjusted myself and sat back, my back now touching the couch.

"She is right," Adrian said now looking at me.

I nodded in agreement, "she is."

"What exactly is holding you back this time?" Adrian asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know Adrian. I guess I'm just scared of us ever having to break up again."

"You have to learn to trust each other, to trust him with your heart, I guess that's where it all starts from." Adrian sat up straighter now.

"It's hard." I admitted to myself and him.

"You love him and he loves you, that should be enough." He looked at the room Funke walked into.

I nodded and didn't say anything else. This was definitely the wake up call I needed.

I really need to make up my mind, and fast.

"So what are we doing for Funke's birthday?"  I changed the topic of discussion.

"I was just thinking dinner, just four of us," Funke answered as she joined us again.

She sat on Adrian's laps, again. I rolled my eyes at that.

"What time?" I relaxed more now.

"Let's say seven? I'll text Andrew the address." Adrian replied.

"Sounds good." I agreed. "Did Maya call you guys?"

"Yes!" Funke's eyes widened in excitement. "I'm so happy for her and James."

"I know right," I was just as excited as she was.

Maya called me two days ago that James had finally proposed and the wedding was pretty soon. She asked if I could be part of her bride's maids and of course I said yes.

I don't know the details of why they are rushing to do the wedding so fast but either way I'm happy for them.

Makes me wonder who's next.

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