EDITED VERSION: Chapter Fourteen

It was the next night and I hadn't seen Nathan all day. Alex left for her train around eight in the morning and Darian decided to go to his parent's place for the night seeing as he hadn't visited them all semester despite living in the same city. I didn't really have anything planned for the night, so I shot Samara a text message asking if she wanted to go out, but as luck would have it, she was busy. I sat on the edge of my bed, dressed up, with nowhere to go. Sighing, I decided to take off my outfit and replace them with my pink flannel pyjamas. I padded my way to the living room and made myself comfortable on the couch, turning on the television. I searched through the Netflix selection until I settled on watching some documentary on oceans.

Clearly, the documentary wasn't as riveting as I thought it would be, because I fell asleep as quickly as it started. However, I jolted awake when I heard the door swing open, followed by a slam, and panting. I rubbed my eyes lazily, not too concerned as I was thinking it was likely just Nathan coming home from work, tired from his shift. But when my vision adjusted in the dark, aside from the light of the television, I saw Nathan roaming his hands all over the body of the girl who was pressed against the door. They began to kiss, or rather, attack one another's faces until the girl flipped the two and now Nathan was against the door. The girl kissed his mouth, his cheek down to his jaw, and then began sucking on his neck. Nathan's eyes landed on mine and I flinched, feeling awkward watching what was happening. But it was like a natural disaster, you want to look away, want to forget about it, but for whatever reason, you keep staring. Looking away, I quietly got up and began walking to my room, careful not to startle the girl who was all over him - although she was so caught in the moment, I don't think she would have noticed regardless of how much noise I made.

When I got to my room, I shut my door quietly, leaning my back against it as I sunk down. For whatever reason, tears danced in my vision and eventually started to pour. I knew as soon as they started, they weren't going to stop, despite not knowing why they were happening in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that I missed my parents with it being so close to Christmas. Maybe it was because I was still upset with Alex for causing a scene, impacting not only my friendship with Jude but also Nathan. Or maybe... No. I shook the thought away; I wasn't going to say it. If I did, it would only make what I feel official and I didn't want to. I'd only be setting myself up for heartbreak.

Wiping my tears away, I walked over to my record player, carefully placing the needle on the vinyl. Jeff Buckley's album Grace began to play softly as I laid on my bed and I sighed. For the first time since I moved here, I missed home.

***

A knock on my bedroom door woke me from my sleep. Despite not answering, the door creaked open anyway. "Audrey, are you sleeping?"

Obviously I am if I didn't answer the door, I wanted to say but didn't. I sat up and peered into the darkness. "Darian?"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," the voice replied, clearly belonging to Nathan. "Can I come in?"

I looked at my phone that was charging on my nightstand and clicked the button. It read three a.m. "Nate, it's three in the morning, what's going on?"

I saw him vaguely shrugged his shoulders. "Can't sleep."

"Alright," I said through a yawn as I patted the space beside me. "Come in. Not enjoying the company of that girl?"

"When you went to your room, I told her that I changed my mind," Nathan laid beside me, careful not to touch me and simply stared at the ceiling. "She went home."

"Oh," I respond stupidly, laying back down. I turned my head to face Nathan. "Why did you change your mind?"

Nathan thought to himself for a moment, seemingly scared to give me an honest answer. Eventually, he broke the silence. "She wasn't the one I wanted so it wasn't right."

My heart skipped when he gave me his answer. I wasn't expecting one that genuine. Trying to hide my surprise, I nodded my head. "Makes sense."

We were silent again but once more, Nathan broke that silence. "Hey princess?"

"Y-Yeah?" I stuttered, feeling a bit of flutter when I heard him say the name I came to like.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, grazing his hand with mine but never actually full-on touching it. Even in the moonlight, I could see the cuts and bruises that were sprinkled on his knuckles.

I paused for a moment. "For what?"

"Making you cry," he replied, regret seeped in his voice. He turned his head to face me, although I couldn't really see his eyes as they were facing away from the window, I could tell they were on mine. "I heard you."

I shook my head with a grim smile. "It's okay. I-" I stopped for a second. "I miss my parents and it just gets worse around the holidays."

"I bet," Nathan said, grazing my hands again but this time, he decided to grasp it. My heart was pounding so loud, I almost didn't hear him say, "I promise to make this Christmas special for you."

"Thank you," I nearly whispered as a single tear cascaded down my cheek and onto my pillow.

Nathan wiped it away with his free hand. "How about we change the subject, yeah?"

"Sure," I say, trying to fight back a yawn. As much as I liked talking to Nathan, I was still incredibly tired from waking up so suddenly. "Ask me anything."

"Why do you like to write?" Nathan asked, still holding onto my hand.

I thought for a moment, not sure how to answer. When I figured out the words, I said, "I think I like to write mainly for the sense of escapism. Sometimes life can be too rough, but at least I have my own little world to turn to. It makes me feel free having that ability, I suppose. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't write."

"Well, I think you're a phenomenal writer," Nathan said.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. "When did you ever read any of my work?"

I felt Nathan shrug. "I may have taken a peek at your Creative Writing manuscript a few times."

"Nate!" I whined, smacking his chest playfully. "If you wanted to read it, you could have asked."

"C'mon, you barely let Samara touch it and she was your editor," Nathan argued but I could hear the grin in his voice.

I shook my head and then let out a small yawn that I really couldn't hold back.

"You should have more confidence in your writing. It's good and you should be proud of it," he said, turning his whole body to face mine. With his free hand, he moved a strand of hair that fell in front of my face when I moved my body to face his too. "Now go to sleep, I know you're tired."

"I'm not-" I let out another yawn. "Sleepy."

"Sure you're not," Nathan chuckled and let go of my hand to use both of his so he could cover me with the fuzzy blanket I got from the bookstore. "Goodnight, princess." He went to get up but the sound of my voice stopped him.

"Could you stay?" I blurted out, completely not thinking about how weird the request must have sounded, but I quickly recovered by adding, "After talking about my parents and everything, I really don't want to be alone. But if you don't want to, that's okay, I understand that it's weird or whatever and that you probably want to g-"

"Princess, you need to stop talking," Nathan chuckled and I felt my face go red. He laid back down on the bed. He tucked an arm under the pillow and I gave him part of my blanket so he wouldn't be cold. Letting out a content sigh, he said, "Have the sweetest of dreams."

As soon as the words left his lips, I drifted off into a deep and comfortable slumber.

***

During the next couple of days, things went back to normal. Nathan wasn't acting grumpy all the time or avoiding me, Darian was hanging out around the apartment more, and Jude thankfully hasn't once brought up the disastrous night with my sister.

It was chilly in the apartment as the December air seemed to seep through our windows. Darian was bundled from top to bottom, meanwhile, I sat comfortably in thick leggings, some fuzzy socks and a wool burgundy sweater I recently purchased at the boutique by the apartment. My roommate was practically shivering as I sipped my coffee. "Dude, the heat is on and yet you're still dressed like you're going to the Arctic."

"I don't handle cold weather well," Darian said through clenched teeth, looking annoyed at my ability to wear a couple of layers and still be warm compared to him wearing five layers and still shivering.

I rolled my eyes and looked in the direction of Nathan's room, curious where he ran off to. Ever since he had fallen asleep in my room when he initially couldn't sleep, things have been weird. A nice weird, but strange nonetheless. Although I hoped during our newfound closeness he'd confide in me about the bruises on his knuckles he always seemed to be getting, but he never did. Turning to my friend, I said, "I have an idea."

Darian cocked an eyebrow. "Intrigue me."

"Well, it's more of a mission," I stated, taking another sip of my coffee. "I have always wanted to know where Nathan disappears to, haven't you?"

My friend shrugged, not particularly interested in his brother's whereabouts. "Not really, he's probably just hanging out with Hayden or going for a run. You know he used to be a huge athlete in high school, right?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. Despite this information being compelling, I shook it off quickly. I leaned forward but spoke quietly, nervous Nathan would hear. "I'm going to follow him today and see what he's up to."

Darian shook his head, the pompom on his toque bouncing as he did so. "You are nuttier than a Snickers bar."

***

A few minutes later, I slowly followed Nathan in the streets. The idea of following Nathan may have sounded ludicrous or even creepy, but I was genuinely worried about what he was doing. The bruises were becoming more frequent and even though he wasn't bringing home women night after night, he was still getting home later than usual despite his shifts usually ending around eleven.

Despite trying to be subtle with my attire, as I put my new black pea coat over my sweater with a black beanie and gloves, Darian was beside me and he was hard to miss. Refusing to take off any of the clothes he wore in the apartment, he wandered the streets with three sweaters, a puffy jacket, heavy boots, and a bright blue toque. He sighed as we walked, almost as if he were out of breath. "Do we really need to follow him?"

"Yes," I said, making sure to keep an eye on Nathan at all times. He had stopped at a convenience store and headed straight to the counter. "Darian, look!"

The man at the counter turned around and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the labelless cupboards behind the register. Nathan paid for the pack and began to walk again down the street, stuffing his purchase in his pocket.

Darian quickened his pace in an effort to not lose sight of Nathan. He said to me quietly, "He told me he was quitting!"

I shook my head and shrugged lamely. "Maybe they're for a friend?"

My roommate gave me a doubtful look and rolled his eyes.

We continued to follow Nathan for a few more minutes when finally, he approached a building and stopped at the top of the stairs that go down to the entrance. The building itself looked run down. The red bricks were chipped, broken windows were covered with sheets of wood, and the front door was dented as if some punched or kicked it.

Nathan didn't enter the building just yet, instead, he reached in his pocket and grabbed a cigarette and a lighter. He lit his smoke and took a long drag. Darian's eyes widened as his brother took another drag and he stood up. "That little shit lied!"

"Darian!" I whisper yelled, grabbing his arm and pulling him down behind the bench we stopped at. Across the street where Nathan stood, taking another drag, oblivious to the fact that we were both watching him. "If he sees you, we're toast."

Darian looked livid as he squatted down beside me. "What if he is dealing drugs?"

"He's not dealing drugs," I whispered, thinking that it was an absolutely ridiculous thought. "He's probably just stopping to have his cigarette and then he'll keep walking along."

But I was wrong. He finished his smoke, squished it with his foot, and began going down the stairs and into the building.

Darian and I remained silent for a few minutes before I stood. My mind raced, thinking about all the things that could possibly be behind that door - none of them practical or appealing. Nevertheless, I stood up and straightened my jacket. "I'm going in."

"Audrey," Darian began, sounding fairly hesitant. "You have no idea what's in there, let me go in."

I shook my head. "Darian, I love you, but you look like a giant marshmallow with all those sweaters on. I'm the least noticeable out of the two of us."

Darian nodded his head as I started to walk towards the building. "Be careful!"

Making my way down the stairs, I looked through the small crack in the window beside the door. I couldn't see what they were doing, but I could tell there were many people inside and I could faintly hear the sound of music with heavy bass. It had to be a club of some sort, though, I couldn't confirm unless I went inside. Opening the door slowly, I made my way into the building.

When I entered, I was stunned to see punching bags hung from the ceiling on one side of the room, and a giant boxing ring on the other.

Men were going to town on the punching bags, so much so, you could barely hear anyone talk, all you could hear were the slaps on the bags, grunts, and the music on the speakers that also hung on the ceiling in each corner of the room.

My eyes searched the room as I tried to find Nathan, but I wasn't very lucky. Too many people were surrounding the ring and too many people were scattered around the room, either using the punching bags or using one another.

I wormed my way through all the gross and sweaty bodies, heading towards the back of the room. From there, I noticed there was a smaller room with exercising equipment and someone beating on the lone punching bag that hung in the middle of the room.

I stood at the entryway as Nathan continuously punched the bag. His eyes were blazing and his eyebrows were knitted as he focused on his target. Sweat ran down his face and his grey shirt was already starting to darken. He looked furious, but he also looked like he was at peace, as if he were in his element.

I continued to stare at Nathan as he worked. Dare I say he looked... good? However, my thoughts were cut short when a man placed his hand on my shoulder. When I turned around, he gave me a toothy grin and said, "What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?"