Chapter 35 Part 2

Once again, if you listen to these songs during this chapter, I swear they will make it so much better:

*like that- Bea Miller

*shameless- Camila Cabello

*just friends- Virginia to Vegas

*sparks fly- Taylor Swift

*delicate- Taylor Swift

*fearless- Taylor Swift

"Holy fuck," I hear someone say, a high-pitched female voice. I don't realize that it's my own. Jase and I are stuck there for a few seconds like deer in headlights, then I hear him say the word- and for once I listen to him. "Run."

And so we do.

I jump down from the carousel, my long hair sending a light shiver down my back, and then I'm sprinting through the wet grass, still barefoot and my hand still interlocked with Jase's grip. I can practically feel the adrenaline pumping through our veins as Jase lifts me up onto the fence with a hurried "go!" and this time, I don't even bother to try scaling down the other side, I just jump, hitting the ground and practically rolling down the hill as I grab the high heels I left there and Jase grabs the pie box and we take off running again, not even knowing where we're going, and then the two of us are just sprinting down the streets of the town, and we've left the man behind ages ago I'm sure, but this running just feels so good, so free that we don't stop until we've gone as far as we can go, my toes squishing the cool sand underneath as we make it to the boardwalk jutting out into the ocean, both of us practically collapsing onto each other, out of breath and delirious from wild, strange laughter that fills me with the kind of warmth I didn't know I could feel.

"That- was-" I pant when I can finally breathe well enough to sort of talk.

"-amazing," Jase finishes, his smile bigger than anything I think I've seen before. "You know, you're- an excellent- runner, Red. You- you should try out- for track- sometime."

I just roll my eyes, realizing suddenly that I'm basically lying on top of him- moving my body away as fast as I can as he takes the flask back out of his jacket pocket. "Well," he says, appearing to have recovered from our all-out sprint a lot faster than I did, "I think that definitely deserved a drink." He hands the flask out to me and I take another swig, pretending it doesn't burn as much as it does before handing it back to him. "So, then... what now? It's..." I take my phone out of the small purse I've been carrying. "One a.m."

"Well..." Jase's blue eyes look into mine, charming and a little devious. "We probably should get back. It's already late enough as it is."

"Y-yeah. Um, right." I look down at the boardwalk, pretending to study the wood panels instead of kicking myself for being so incredibly stupid. Somehow, I thought he would still want to stay out with me.

"But..." he adds, in a tone that brings a jolt to my heart, causing me to look back up at him. "All this pie isn't going to just eat itself."

Which is how I come to be stargazing and eating pie with Jase Turner, the school's biggest player, in the earliest hours of the morning.

--

"So... truth or dare?" I ask him, taking one last bite of the peach pie. It's been almost half an hour, and yet it feels like we've been here for no time at all. I could stay here with him forever, if it's not for the slight chill that the ocean breeze is giving me.

"Mmm... I'd say dare, but I have a feeling you'd do something evil," Jase grins.

"You know me too well, darling," I say in a fake posh accent. "But fine. Truth..."

There are so many things I want to ask him. Are he and Seraphina dating? Does he like Chrissa still? Could he ever, in a million years, have feelings for me?

Yeah... it's probably better if we don't go there. So instead I think back to safer questions, better questions, until finally the perfect one pops into my head. "Why didn't you answer me, earlier? When I asked you about what your biggest dream was?"

I look over from where I'm laying and see him wince- like this physically pains him. "Because..." Jase starts, his words slow, cautious. "Because I don't like lying to you, Red. It's practically impossible- I feel like you can see right through me sometimes."

"So? Don't lie, then."

Jase shakes his head. "That's easier said than done- but fine, if you really want to hear it... my biggest dream is stupid. Incomprehensibly stupid."

"If it's your biggest dream, it's not stupid."

No, but that's the thing, it is," Jase scoffs. "But no matter how much I tell myself I'm better off without him, I just wish... that my dad would just show up one day with a ring for my mother and a lacrosse stick for me and a perfectly good explanation for why he's been gone for ten fucking years. But like I said. Stupid."

"Jase..." I didn't realize that his dad left, and it makes me feel like the world's biggest idiot. Sometimes it's hard to even remember that people like Jase have problems in the first place- and here he is, actually dealing with something real. "That's not stupid. You miss your dad. Any sensible person would."

"No," Jase says, and his voice is harder and colder than I even thought it could be. "That asshole? I don't miss him- I don't even remember him. Honestly, it would be better if he was just dead."

"It really wouldn't be," I say softly, embarrassed at the tears that prick at my eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Oh, Red, I didn't mean- I don't- I'm sorry about your dad. I never knew him, but from what my mom heard from yours, he seemed like a pretty good guy."

"I guess in some ways I'm lucky," I say, my voice a bit blank as I look up at the sky, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I got thirteen years with the greatest parents I could possibly ask for. In some ways, I should be thankful. I just... I can't believe how fast it ended. But- I'm sorry, this is stupid. I shouldn't be talking to you about this."

"You can talk to me about anything you want," Jase says, and his voice is so earnest it makes me ache a little bit.

"Even if it means that you have to 'babysit' me at a party?" I ask him, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice- even though his words really did sting.

"Ah. Yeah, about that... shit." Jase sighs, seeming to look everywhere except into my eyes. "I already told you I hate apologizing... and yet I keep messing up around you time and time again. I'm sorry, Red. I didn't... I didn't mean any of that."

"But you did. This whole time, you basically said I couldn't handle being at a party. And, as it turns out, you were right. I mean... you basically had to save me from those girls like some sort of knight in shining leather."

"Red," he says, and the warmth in his voice sends a shiver through my body, making me look over into his eyes. "No. I was- I was just being an ass. I was trying to discourage you from going, to stop you from this whole stupid blackmail plan... I didn't want to see anything happen to you like it did and- and I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"You do know... I never would've really told anyone anything about you, you know. And not just for my sake... for yours too." I can't believe I just admitted that, but it's been weighing on me, a feeling of manipulation and lying that makes me feel terrible- but his amused grin just makes me confused. "What?"

"Red, of course I knew you wouldn't actually blackmail me."

Wait, what?

"Then why did you let me come with you, then?"

"Because," Jase says with a shrug. "I know you. I knew you were too stubborn to change your mind... you're like a force of nature sometimes, honestly. And I guess part of me just... wanted to stop fighting you. And I knew that even if I said no, you'd find a way to get to that party somehow. And I'd rather it be with me than some rando where you're really unsafe and out of your comfort zone."

Well that was... unexpected.

"Plus, you're kinda hot when you're blackmailing me," he smirks, and I laugh. "You're such a dick, Jase."

"And you still need a truth or a dare. So what'll it be?"

"Dare," I grin. "Always dare."

Well, looks like someone found herself a new motto.

"I dare you..." Jase looks out at the waves lapping at the beach in front of us, frozen just yesterday but thanks to this record thaw is now just as lively as ever- though undoubtedly freezing. "Go in the ocean. Just up to your knees."

"My legs are going to turn beet red," I laugh, shaking my head. "But fine. I'm not scared."

We step off the boardwalk and down to the beach, Jase waiting, his arms crossed as he leans against the pillar, taking another drink as he watches me wade in, uttering a string of curses I don't think I've ever said aloud. "Jase! How is it so fucking COLD?"

I just hear laughter behind me and I turn around to give Jase a glare- until I somehow, being me, manage to lose my balance, nothing there to break my fall as I shriek, plummeting backwards into the icy water. I'm only under for a split second, but it might as well be a year of me practically freezing solid before I break the surface, gasping and struggling to breathe, I'm shaking so hard.

"Are you okay?" Jase asks as I walk back over to him. "The water must be freezing right now."

"I-" my teeth chatter as I open my mouth. "I-I've n-never been bet-better."

"Clearly," Jase says, the sarcasm quite evident in his voice as he takes the jacket he's been wearing and places it over my shoulders. "We should probably get back then, I guess... I think I have an extra sweatshirt in the car that you can wear."

I just nod, trying to concentrate on not shivering to death (because, yes, that's totally a thing) and not talking as we head up the beach back into the parking lot, where Jase opens his trunk, tossing me a balled up UVA sweatshirt. "Here. It's not exactly a designer dress, but... at least it's warm."

After Jase promises to look away, I step around to the other side of the car, shrugging off my white dress and not particularly caring as it touches the ground- at this point, it's already stained with grass and sand and seawater, relatively clean pavement probably won't make a huge difference. I throw the warm sweatshirt over my head, breathing in the familiar scent of Jase for a brief, brief second before deciding to stop acting like a total idiot, wringing the dress out, and returning to where Jase is leaned casually against the car, looking at his phone. "Hey."

"Hey." There's a blush on my face as I lean to put my dress in the trunk, adding my heels for good measure- they're getting on my nerves. Jase's sweatshirt is long enough on me to go down to my thighs, but only just... and I can see his gaze briefly flashing down to the exposed skin of my upper leg before he blinks, looking back up at my face.

Damn. Was Jase Turner just checking me out?

"So... we should go home."

"Right."

Neither of us make a move to do anything- we're still just standing at opposite ends of the trunk, looking at each other.

"That means getting in the car."

"Yup."

Once again, we both stand there, frozen like statues until finally a rakish grin comes over Jase's face and he shakes his head. "So. Thirty more minutes?"

"I guess thirty minutes can't hurt..." I reply, giggling a little bit.

After Jase and I grab a few of the blankets and pillows in the back of his car (for some reason he wouldn't give me a straight answer when I asked why they were there) and carry them down to the boardwalk, I manage to tie my hair into a bun before the formerly sleek and straight locks become a curly mane, thanks to the ocean water, pulling a blanket around myself before I can shiver any more. "You know..." I say, my voice soft as I look over at where he's lying a few feet away. "I never expected to like you so much. Things would've been so much easier if I didn't like you."

"Yeah, well... that makes two of us," Jase says, his voice a bit bitter. "If anyone found out that you and I did this..."

"They'd think I was just another one of your hookups. Which would ruin my reputation," I continue. "But if you said that it wasn't..."

"That would ruin my reputation," he finishes, looking away. "I know. Not to mention that boyfriend of yours... he probably wouldn't be thrilled to find out that the two of us were hanging out in the middle of the night."

"Noah, um..." I don't know how to say this. "Noah's not my boyfriend anymore."

"Wait- what? Why?" Jase asks, and his blue eyes flash with incredulousness, like he cannot believe that this is really happening. "You two were practically perfect for each other."

"Yeah, well, I guess not. I just... couldn't be with him anymore. It wasn't fair... especially when I have feelings for someone else."

His eyes light up and I see a faint pink tinge on his cheekbones as he looks at me, almost like he's struggling to find the right words. "Well... uh... I'm single too. So I know how it feels."

"What about Seraphina?"

He bites his lip. "Uh... we're- well, friends."

"Let me guess- there are benefits included in that friendship," I say flatly.

"Yeah, but we're not... seeing each other. I made that very clear."

"Oh." I don't know what else to say. Jase is single... that's a good step. But he could never be interested in someone like me, right?

"Hey, wait- I never got to dare you!" I say, after a beat of slightly uncomfortable silence- not like our usual easy atmosphere. "Was that part of your evil plan? Freeze me so my brain no longer works?"

"Oh, yes, because that's totally how human biology works," he answers, rolling his eyes. "C'mon- hit me with your best dare."

We go back and forth for a little while, giving each other truths and dares- revealing secrets that neither of us knew about ourselves. It's strange, being so open with Jase, but something about this night feels... different. Like we've both let down our walls a little bit... like a new start.

Our truths may be deep, but our dares get more ridiculous by the second, until they somehow merge into a series of races, and soon enough we're both on opposite sides of the boardwalk, both running to get Jase's flask before the other. I was supposed to count down from three, but I started running at two, meaning I'm not forced to ignore shouts of "hey- that's not fair!" but it's okay, I'm on track to win, at least until Jase puts on a sudden burst of speed. I don't know why I'm all of a sudden so competitive, but I feel a sudden urge to not let him win, so a second before he can reach down to claim his victory, I dive down onto the wood, grabbing the silver object- and accidentally losing my grip on it, watching as it falls into the water below. "Shit!"

"Red!" Jase says indignantly, though the look on his face as I stand up, ignoring the stinging of the knee that is definitely splintered after I dived onto a wooden boardwalk (I'm just so smart sometimes, aren't I?), is mostly one of amusement, not anger. "I still won," I say, smirking.

"You won by cheating! And you threw my favorite flask into the ocean! I'd hardly call that winning!"

We're both breathing hard, and there's something about the adrenaline between us that makes my heart beat faster, shivering for a different reason this time. "I'm pretty sure you're just a sore loser, Jase."

"Ah," he chuckles, looking up at the sky before tilting his head back down at me. "Shut up, Red."

Without thinking, I step closer, my voice lowering just the slightest bit. "Make me."

And in that moment, it's three fucking months, three months of unresolved fights and accidental brushes and fire in our eyes that we both assumed was just anger- but it's clearly something far, far more dangerous. And I'm sick of fighting it.

"Make me," I say again.

And this time he does.

The second our lips collide it feels like every moment in my life has been leading up to this, like something in me was made to kiss Jase Turner, made to build my castle walls up just for him to break them all down with the way his soft lips press against mine, the way his hands in my hair send shivers down my spine, the way every molecule of space in between us needs to go away right this very second, the way I practically melt into him like we're something so wild and free and untameable but coming together in exactly the right way. I don't- I don't think I've ever felt this way in my life.

And then, as my hand slides up the front of his T-shirt and his hand slides down my neck, underneath the sweatshirt, I stop thinking, and just get lost in the raging fire between us. For once, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm doing- and I couldn't be happier.

A/N:

IT'S OUT. IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT I FINALLY DID IT IT'S OUT.

AAAAAAAAH.

In case you couldn't tell, I've been wanting to write the first kiss scene for a very long time, and after THIRTY FIVE FUCKING CHAPTERS- it finally happened!!

So I guess I just want to say... I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it and thank you so so very much for sticking with me and my story throughout 35 chapters of pre-relationship angst. I can't tell you all how much fun this has been to write, and seeing Sienna and Jase's journey has honestly just made me so happy 🥺

(Why do I sound like I'm writing a goodbye speech... I swear, y'all are stuck with me for a while more- this is not yet close to ending, at least for another 15 or so chapters).

Ily guys so so so much and I'll see you next Friday... because if you thought tHis was spicy... hahaha just wait 😈

Love,

Selene :)