Chapter 22

"Why are you staring at me?" Beth grumbled, her voice muffled by the pillow.

I was beginning to panic. I had no idea what to say or do. The only thing that made sense was to scream. How could I be so irresponsible?

"Viv?" Beth raised her head to look at me, albeit still drowsy. "Are you alright?"

I didn't reply, confused as ever. I didn't even remember anything. The last thing I recall was getting extra drunk with Beth, I don't even know how did we end up to her apartment, let alone in bed. When Beth touched my knee, I nearly screeched. What about Sebastian? Does this mean I'm a cheater now?

"Viv ..." my friend called again with a sigh. When she sat up, I childishly closed my eyes, even though I've seen her naked plenty of times before today. "Are you sick?" Beth brushed my forehead to check my temperature. "What's the matter with you?"

She sounded so normal, as if nothing had happened. "I'm sorry." I murmured, not knowing what else to say.

"About what?"

I winced. "Well ..."

When I felt the bed dip a little, I opened my eyes, and saw Beth standing up. She wasn't naked at all, just wearing one of her skimpy night outfits. The sheets covering her probably fooled me. I was indeed naked, though. Fully naked.

Beth stretched, then groaned a bit, turning to me. When she noticed my predicament, she frowned. "Uh ... Viv, you do know you're as naked as a baby, right?" As if on cue, I gripped the sheets tighter to cover myself, but Beth chuckled. "Oh, honey, no, between the light fabric and the sunlight, that sheet is pretty much see-through regardless." Embarrassed, I grabbed a pillow, and covered my chest with it, feeling my cheeks redden. "Relax," Beth laughed, "it's nothing I haven't seen yet." She winked.

That made me feel even more embarrassed and stupid. "What ..." I cleared my throat. "What did we ... I mean, last night, did we ..."

She frowned, seemingly confused for a moment. After a few seconds, she gasped without a sound, then laughed. "Oh, God, no!" Beth guffawed. "I mean, you're hot and all, Viv, but no, just no." She shook her head.

I felt relieved, actually I did let out a loud sigh of relief. "Why am I naked, then?" I inched the pillow closer to my chest.

Beth smirked, a bit impishly. "I mean ... I said we didn't do anything. I didn't say you didn't try ..."

"What!"

She went on laughing her head off. "I gotta say, now I understand why your Sebastian calls you a goddess." She winked. "When you're in sexy mode, it gets really difficult to resist."

"Oh, my God ..." my cheeks flushed.

"But you were drunk out of your mind and ..." she pursed her lips, as if unsure whether she should utter the next words or not. In the end, she did: "Don't take this the wrong way, but ... I kind of, maybe, made a promise to Chris."

"A promise?"

"Uh ... you know, we had a bit of a game in college, like, who gets the most girls."

She waved her hand in the air as if that was supposed to be common knowledge, but I had no idea. I merely nodded, not wanting to open another can of worms when it comes to Chris and his conveniently loose definition of honesty.

"Well, some girls were off limits." Beth went on explaining as she rummaged through her closet. "The first name on is off limits list was, obviously, yours."

I frowned. "I'm as straight as it gets." I mused without thinking.

Beth chuckled. "Oh, I know," she turned her head to me just to wink, "but I've got my charms." That made me laugh a bit, cheering me up the slightest. "So, yeah, nothing happened, don't worry." Phew. "Besides, my heart is set on someone else in our group.

My eyes widened immediately, be it even only because there's only one other woman in our group of friends. "Oh, no, Beth ..."

"I know, I know," she sighed, dropping onto the bed, clothes in her hands, "Me and Laura would be impossible. And she's getting married. God, she's even pregnant." She groaned loudly. "Ugh, this is so messed up."

Bringing the sheet with me, albeit struggling, I went over to her, sitting beside her, to rub her back. Beth left her head on my shoulder, sighing. When did things start getting so complicated? Our college years were so simple despite everything. We hung out all the time, we thought nothing could ever divide us. Now, the one thing that seemed impossible did happen: Chris and I fell out. And Beth is nurturing her own unrequited love. Sometimes I want to go back in time, to simpler years of my life.

✨✨

CHRIS

"How long are you gonna keep wallowing in your pity party?" Adam wondered, kicking my foot.

I don't even know how long have I been here, sprawled on the couch, trying not to think about anything, or more specifically about anyone. I can barely focus on my job when I'm at the office, but for the rest I'm completely useless. The fact that Nick just announced me that I can't go to his wedding only means that this is final. My Vivy has decided to move on from me.

"Leave me alone." I grumbled when my brother kicked my foot again. I guess I should be grateful, Adam is pretty much the only one left by my side. Shane doesn't want to get involved, Beth hasn't said a word about it, and Nick, willingly or not, has picked a side by simply abiding by General Laura's orders. I don't know what he finds in her, she's so bossy. Then again, I'm one to talk, I fell for one of the bossiest women I've ever met. I guess the difference is, Karen is toxic, Laura might be a pain in the ass, but she's not like my ex.

"You need to react." Adam sighed. "Do something." He bent over and sniffed me. "Hell, take a shower at the very least."

"Leave me alone." I merely repeated.

"Chris ..."

"Don't you have a fiancée to mind?" I scoffed. "You're getting married tomorrow."

"I wish you would come." My brother sighed, sitting on the coffee table.

"You don't want me there."

"You're my brother, of course, I want you there." He chuckled for a moment. "Be it only because I need a best man."

"I'm nobody's best man." I grumbled. "Even Nick fired me from his wedding." I know Laura was behind it, Nick just doesn't have the balls to contradict her, which is highly disappointing from him. I thought he had more integrity, instead he's being bossed around by his baby mama.

"That's just temporary," Adam tried to mend, "they're probably getting married next year, after the baby is born, plenty of time to make amends."

I shot up my head, sending him a dirty look. "Make amends? Laura never liked me, she's just seizing the opportunity to finally get rid of me."

My brother shook his head, evidently disappointed. I don't know why he still hangs around, it's clear that he's mad at me, too. "Laura is Vivian's friend." He reminded me. "Did you honestly think she wouldn't take this whole mess to heart?" Case in point.

"You think I don't know what I did was wrong?" I sighed. "I don't know what got into me."

"Well, I don't know either!" Adam slightly raised his voice. "You were supposed to tell her you love her!" He stood up, starting to pace the living room, clearly agitated. "Instead, you told her that you knew about her feelings. What kind of bullshit is that?"

"Adam ..."

"I mean, the sole fact that you even knew for so long and did all you did ..." he shook his head, stopping to look straight at me. "Chris, you're my baby brother and I love you like there's no tomorrow. But you fucked up. Big time. And what you did was awful. In her shoes, I would make you pay dearly for it."

"She's not a vindictive type." I murmured.

"She should be! Karma is a bitch and you sure as hell deserve to be smacked right in the face by it."

"Good thing you're my brother and you love me." I sassed.

"Just because we're family, doesn't mean I agree with everything you do or say." Adam stated, as serious as ever. "If you were a murderer, I'd report you to the police in a heartbeat." That made no sense. "I may stick to your side through thick and thin, Chris, I may be still here for you, as I'll always will be." He pointed his index finger right into my face, evidently angry. "But don't you think, for one second, that I'm letting this slide."

"You can leave then."

"Ugh, that witch ruined you." He grumbled instead, restarting to pace the room. "You weren't like this before Karen."

"Says who?" I scoffed. It's true that Karen made me meet my worst side, but I doubt she changed me that much. Proof is that I've been lying for ten years, I met Karen only four years ago. I didn't even want to, it's just that at some point it was too late to say the truth. I don't even know why I said it in the first place. Hell, the original plan was simple: tell her you love her. But the sole hearing that guy's name just ... set something off inside me.

"Says the person that knows you the most."

"The person that knows me the most is the one that never even perceived any of my lies." I muttered.

"She believed in you, Chris. You can't blame her for that." Adam spat, as always playing the role of my conscience.

"I don't blame her at all." I pointed out. "I know I don't have any right to ask for forgiveness."

"Why did you say all those horrible things to her, then?" That took me off guard. I thought he didn't know every single detail. "You basically slut-shamed her."

"I didn't."

"Yes, you did." He groaned, tugging at his hair. "Take responsibility for your actions like a grown ass man."

"I only said I didn't recognize her." I pointed out. "And I don't." Since when she goes on dates with some stranger she knows pretty much nothing about? Sleeping with him so soon even. She's a regular partner type, she would never sleep around, yet when this Sebastian dude came around, he put a spell on her or something, making her act like she never would. "My Vivy wouldn't throw me out." I murmured, more to myself than to my brother.

"You mean she grew a backbone." Adam scoffed. "Finally." When I sent him a dirty look, he shrugged. "She went even too lightly on you."

"She slapped me."

"And with good reason!" He nearly yelled. "You called her a slut! I'd have whooped your ass with a leather belt, cos at the age of 25, almost 26, you clearly still need to learn how to treat a lady."

"I didn't call her a slut." I grimaced at the sole word. "Or maybe I did, but I didn't mean it." I sighed, sitting up. "I was angry and frustrated."

"That's absolutely not a good reason."

"Look, Adam, what do you want me to do?" I ruffled my hair, groaning. "Ever since that day at her place, I've sent her so many messages, I called her so many times, but all I got was silence." I keep calling and calling, but it goes straight to voicemail. If I text her, she leaves me on read.

"She did say she needed a break from you." Adam shrugged. "But that doesn't mean you should just sit here wallowing in your pity party. She's leaving for London in 2 days, for God's sakes, you can't let her leave without talking to her, or you might lose her for good."

"I already lost her." I murmured, the heaviness of the realization hitting me harder than anything ever could. I lost my Vivy, it's as simple as that. What angers me the most is that I never thought it would be so easy for her to move on.

"That's some weak sauce mentality." My brother scoffed. "You really wanna throw 20 years away just like that?"

"She threw them away already!" I snapped, leaping to my feet. "She threw me away. Like a toy she doesn't need anymore." I shook my head, going into the kitchen, feeling the dire need for a beer. "I guess I wasn't worth that much."

"You really wanna play victim right now?" Adam scoffed, following me.

"I know what I did was fucked up, you don't need to remind me every five minutes." I sighed, rummaging through the fridge. No beer. Ugh. "But she's not even giving me a chance to make it up to her."

"And she shouldn't." Adam spat. "Not as long as you keep that mentality, deep down thinking she owes you. Wake up, Chris, she doesn't owe you anything. Actually, you owe her. You owe her the ten years she wasted on an unrequited love that was never one-sided to begin with."

"I didn't lie about that." I grabbed a soda, and placed it on the island once I'd opened it.

"Yeah, sure." Adam scoffed. "The point is, she owes you nothing. The only way you solve this, is by stepping off that high pedestal she put you on and finally understanding that you're the lucky one here. Vivian has lived with you and for you for a long time, it's about time you do the same for her, even only a small part of it will be enough."

"Sacrifice? Is that what you're suggesting?" That didn't make any sense. Especially because it's not like I completely ignored my faults. Like I said, I've been trying to reach her, but nothing. She doesn't even come back home, apparently she sleeps at Beth's.

"She sacrificed a lot for you, Chris." Adam insisted. "The least you can do is give back at least some of it."

Was he suggesting what I was thinking? Vivian leaves in 2 days. I guess that's enough time to tell my boss I'm quitting and find a place in London.