Chapter 27

I'm sorry, this is probably boring ... I'm having some difficulties finishing the story because it kind of went in a totally different direction, far from the old one. I'll try to figure things out and finish it by the end of the year 😖

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I gargled with mouthwash for the second time, because I could still feel that nauseating acidic feeling in my mouth. What they don't tell you about pregnancy related morning sickness is that it kills even your will to eat anything for the rest of the day and it leaves such a bad taste in your mouth that not even the strongest mouthwash ever invented can get rid of it in one time.

You'd think that, after 3 months, I'd have gotten used to it, but no. Every morning I repeat the same routine: wake up suddenly with the dire need to puke, I run to the bathroom, where I spend the next 30 minutes, then I try as much as I can to get rid of that acidic taste in my mouth. Next, I enter the kitchen, where my mom has laid out breakfast, I merely look at it, sometimes get as far as tasting a single bite ... then I run back to the bathroom to puke.

I spend the rest of the day watching TV, taking a walk every now and then, doing puzzles, playing games on my phone, reading books, catching up with people from my hometown. Given the complexity of the situation, my parents thought it was better if I took a break from the big city. Not that I told them anything of what Detective Powell said. I preferred to keep it to myself, so, officially, nobody in my life knows Sebastian's true story.

Officially, I decided to live the pregnancy in my hometown, just to get away from all the stress related to the city, but the truth is, Detective Powell thought it was better for me to skedaddle as soon as possible. After 3 months, I still couldn't believe Sebastian was the criminal that Dylan depicted him as, but I didn't dare test the waters. I wanted to do some research on his case, but the detective thought it unwise: anything that would connect me even remotely to Tyler Banks could reveal my position to him, he said. Even a simple Google search, yes. I guess criminals are high-tech, too now.

The worst part was having to stop talking to my friends. Sebastian knows them all. I wouldn't think he'd be capable of hurting them, but again, Dylan thought it was better if they didn't have any information he could extort out of them. I wondered why not go with Witness Protection, since Sebastian's case was federal, but that would have implied completely losing my identity for who knows how long.

"Lay low", Dylan says every time he calls to check up on me, "just try to relax and lay low." As if that were easy. I worked at the local newspaper for a few weeks, but I was bored out of my mind – 8 hours a day of transcribing whatever the editor came up with, which was usually some silly gossip that was likely not even true. I can't plan ahead, because yes, I should have been preparing for motherhood, but between the fear of the baby daddy finding me and the continuous reminder that this will change my life forever, I felt stuck.

Icing on top, I haven't heard a single word from Chris since that day at the hospital. We can't throw away 20 years of friendship, right? Until I get pregnant and he decides his loyalty doesn't extend that far. I'd have worried whether he was ok, but my mom talks to his regularly, and just as regularly Chris talks to his parents. That means I'm the only one he doesn't want anything to do with.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" My mom asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah ..." I splashed some cold water on my face, "yeah, I'm fine ..."

"There's someone here for you."

My eyes widened immediately. Who would come here out of the blue, without a single word? On a random Tuesday morning, might I add. "Who is it?"

"Just come downstairs." My mother and her love for drama, ladies and gentlemen. She didn't sound worried, though, so maybe it wasn't some sketchy guy in a suit hiding a gun behind his jacket, come all the way here from New York to kill me or kidnap me on my ex-boyfriend's orders.

Shaking my head, I chased away my silly thoughts. For all I know, Dylan's worries are just that: worries. Detective Powell has been really nice with me, he calls me once a week to check up on me, but after 3 months there hasn't been a single minute out of the ordinary, so maybe it was all just a big misunderstanding. Chances are, I was just a random girl he hooked up with and Sebastian completely forgot I ever existed.

I pulled myself together, and got dressed quickly – overalls and a white sweater, plus sneakers. The good thing about pregnancy is that you can wear overalls without people judging you, and because I'd just entered the second trimester, the baby bump was barely visible and not too difficult to carry around yet. I went downstairs after having made sure my face looked somewhat decent even without the slightest hint of makeup.

"Mom?" I called as I approached the living room. "Who is ..." my eyes widened in surprise, "oh, my God ... Adam!" I didn't hesitate to run to him and tackle him into a wild hug, which was fairly easy, since he's always been pretty skinny.

"Woah, woah ... chill, lady, I'm a married man now." He teased, pulling back with a laugh. "Or I was, I guess."

I frowned, confused. "Where's Maggie?"

He shrugged. "Pretty happy in Los Angeles."

"Really? Everything's ... solved?" I asked vaguely, hoping my mother wouldn't hear me from the kitchen, where I was sure she was busy preparing the usual cookies for Adam. She's always loved Chris like a son, but there's no doubt that her favorite Knight brother is Adam.

"Believe it or not ... yes." Adam grinned. We went to sit on the couch, next to each other. "I really didn't think it'd happen, but somehow every issue with Maggie's family was solved."

"How?" I frowned. "I mean, last I heard her stepfather was dead set on taking her back." I wouldn't have known anything about all this, hadn't Adam called me a couple of weeks after my accident, to ask how I was doing. Of course, I had to press him, but in the end he spilled the beans.

"Well, I told you Maggie-that is ... Nia ... had relatives in California. They figured everything out."

My frown deepened. "But how?"

"I don't know and I don't wanna know." Adam sighed, dropping back against the couch. "I just know I left as soon as I was told I could." He grimaced. "I really hate Angelinos. So full of themselves, so shallow, so selfish ..."

"Yeah, because notoriously New Yorkers are so nice and kind." I scoffed.

"Well, I'm not going back to New York either."

"No?" I tilted my head to the side, kind of disappointed. If he went back to New York, I'd have at least a chance of contacting my friends, he could give them a message, tell them I'm okay, I just can't talk to them for the time being. I barely had time to write a message for Laura before leaving, then I had to change phone, number, shut down social media accounts ... anything that could give even the slightest hint as to where I was. I thought it was silly, since I was in the number one place anybody with a brain would think of finding me – my parents' house –, but Dylan said there wasn't reason to think Sebastian knew. I never told him anything about my hometown or my family, he merely knew my last name, but "there are a lot of Vivian Dawson in this country."

"I need a fresh start." Adam mentioned, a tired smile on his face.

Instinctively, I reached for his hand and squeezed it. "You've been through a lot."

"Me?" He repeated sarcastically. "What about you?"

I shrugged. "I'm the maker of my own misfortunes. You instead ... you got in trouble because you have a good heart."

"Yeah, well, I should know by now no good deed goes unpunished."

"Come on ... you literally saved a life, Adam." I bumped his shoulder with mine. "If Nia can be happy now, if she can leave her nightmare behind, it's because of you."

"And I'm happy for her, I really am ... I don't even regret the part about helping her, I swear." He sighed, sagging his shoulders. "But what I left in London ... who I left in London ..."

"Talk to him." I mentioned. "I'm sure he'll understand. I mean, I don't know him, but Simone sounds like a great guy. He'll understand why you did what you did."

Adam shook his head. "I can't go back to London, I can't put everyone in danger again."

"But you said they don't know Simone or your friends there."

"Yeah, but you never know." He shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, I guess."

"Have him come here, then." I suggested, desperately craving at least one happy ending. Chris and I may be a lost cause, but Adam and Simone don't have to be. I need at least one person in my life to be happy, and after what he sacrificed, Adam deserves it more than anyone else.

"Are you crazy?" He scoffed. "I can't just randomly call him and tell him to come to this Godforsaken town. Who in their right mind would leave London for this?" He pointed outside, at the town we both grew up in and that always felt too constrictive, especially for someone with his ambitions and dreams.

"It's not about the place," I flicked his forehead, "it's about the person." I cracked a tiny bittersweet smile. "You told me that, remember?"

Adam arched an eyebrow, looking at me sarcastically. "Wrong Knight, sweetheart. I would never say such a cheesy thing."

Right. My mind playing tricks on me, as usual, making me always go back to the same thought, the same person. "Well, anyway, Chris was right. It's about the person. You and Simone can be happy in any city, doesn't have to be London."

"He has a whole life there, a career, friends ... everything."

"So?"

"I'm sorry, is this the same woman that was going to refuse the chance of a lifetime in London because of one person?"

My smile faltered a bit, but not entirely. "That was a foolish woman." I murmured, lowering my glance. "A very, very foolish woman that believed in that person."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, that was so insensitive of me ..." Adam came to wrap an arm around my shoulders just as I inevitably started sobbing.

I shook my head, albeit crying. "It's fine ..."

"You really haven't talked to him? Not a single word?"

"I can't talk to anyone. Remember my situation?"

"Well, yes, but ... mom talks to him, you could send a message or something ..."

"And he could do the same. He hasn't. Not a single word in 3 months." I looked up for a moment. "You?"

"Me? I was in your same situation until a week ago, honey. No contacts with people I could put in danger."

"And then?"

Adam lowered his glance, looking guilty. "Yeah ... yeah, I've talked to Chris."

I knew that look on his face. That remorseful, sorry look that meant there was something he was not supposed to tell me. Adam has never been good at keeping secrets. "What happened?" I asked carefully, not wanting to know yet craving to. Did Chris get back with Karen? Did he find someone else? Did he leave New York entirely? I made my mom promise not to talk to me about him and to prevent others from doing the same, but now I was craving to know more.

"Vivian ..." Adam heaved a deep sigh, "I think you should relax and-"

"Ugh, I'm tired of relaxing!" I raised my voice, leaping to my feet. "Relax, relax, relax! All I do is relax! I'm pregnant, not terminally ill!"

"Pregnant ... in a peculiar situation." Adam reminded me, patting the seat next to him. "Let's not forget your psychotic ex could be looking for you right now."

"Sebastian isn't psychotic ... I think." I shook my head, not even wanting to think about all the horrible things my ex was guilty of, according to FBI and NYPD. "And he probably forgot I ever existed. I mean, a guy like that, with his resources and his looks and his ... connections, I was a pastime." If movies have taught me anything, is that criminal bosses normally have a lot of women, it was easy to assume I was just one in the number. No matter what Dylan says about Sebastian wanting an heir, chances are, he entirely forgot about his toy.

"Men like that can get pretty ... obsessed." Adam argued. "I mean, you think Nia's stepfather couldn't get any other woman? Why did he fixate on his stepdaughter?"

"Because he's sick in the head." I muttered, sitting down again.

"Obsession, dear, obsession ..."

"Sebastian isn't obsessed with me."

"No? You mean he didn't intend to wait for you even though he knew your heart was elsewhere and you were going to London for months if not even forever?"

"I really need to stop confiding in you." I grumbled, dropping back against the couch. "For all I know, all that nonsense about waiting and me being special were lies. According to Dylan, Sebastian used me for his alibi, to kill Mrs. Woods."

Adam frowned. "Dylan?"

"Detective Powell ... I told you about him."

"Yeah, but ... 3 months ago, when you told me, he was Detective Powell. When did he become Dylan?"

I rolled my eyes. "He's been checking up on me for the past 3 months and he's actively involved in the case FBI is building against my ex. I think that kind of grants him first name basis privilege."

"Right."

"Oh, come on, you don't seriously think there's something, do you?" I scoffed, slightly offended. "I'm in trouble as it is, there's no need to add another man in my already messed up life."

"Prince Charming Syndrome, honey," Adam teased, "he saved you or ... technically is working on saving you, he checks up on you, he shows you he cares ..."

I scoffed. "Please. If that was a thing, the number of people falling in love with cops and firefighters would be astronomical."

"Well, cops can have a bad reputation sometimes, but firefighters? Everyone loves firefighters."

"You know what I mean." I rolled my eyes.

"You wouldn't be the first person to fall for her rescuer, honey." Adam shrugged. "It's pretty common, that's all I'm saying."

"I'm not in love with Dylan-I mean ... Detective Powell." I rolled my eyes. "Hell, we're not even friends. I know literally nothing about him, other than the fact that he has 3 sisters, his father was a cop and his mother wanted him to be a dentist."

"Case in point."

"He's only doing his job!" I groaned, tired of his assumptions.

"You said he went out of his way to cover up for you, keeping your name off the record ..."

"Yeah, to make sure Sebastian or whoever with him would have no reason to look for me. That's part of a cop's job ... protect and serve, remember?"

"Yeah ... I'm not buying it." Adam laughed, standing up to stretch a bit. "He's probably into you."

I rolled my eyes, then brought my knees under me to sit more comfortably. "You're reading too much into it. And you entirely ignored my question about Chris."

Adam eyed me carefully for a long moment. "He's okay."

"I already knew that." I scoffed. "Your mom talks to him regularly."

Adam bit on his lips, as if unsure whether he should tell me or not. I thought of the worst, yet he said nothing. Was that news so bad that he couldn't find the words to even mention it to me? The sole relief was that Chris was certainly fine – physically, that is. Was he hurting because of me? Did he think about me even for a moment? Those questions were driving me insane. Three months ago I was sure I had to move on, take a break from him. One way or another, I got it, yet not on my terms. So, right now I needed some sort of ... contact. Be it only for closure.

"Adam, just tell me." I sighed heavily, then sat up. "Whatever it is, I'm going to find out eventually, might as well tell me now."

"It's not as bad as you probably think."

"Then what is it?" I insisted, exhausted. "I don't understand why everyone in my life thinks I'm such a delicate doll. I'm not. I'm tougher than I look." I grumbled, standing up.

"We just worry about you, sweetheart." Adam gave me a compassionate look – the same I've always gotten from people whenever they saw me hurt because of Chris.

"And I appreciate it. I do. But I'm not a child. I can take bad news, try me." I stated, determined.

"It's not bad news per se, it's just ... well, Chris needed a few days to-uh ... digest the news." Adam mentioned, rubbing his cheek. "When he came back, you'd left and Laura ... well, you know Laura, she didn't want to tell him anything."

I nodded, knowing full well why she withheld information from him. She probably blamed Chris for my situation. In her mind, hadn't he acted the way he had, I wouldn't have fallen into Sebastian's arms and none of this would have happened. As much as I'd like to share the guilt, this is solely on me. Chris couldn't possibly know I'd be so stupid and naïve.

Adam bit on his lips nervously, clear sign that there was something more. "Well, so, he tried to talk to your parents, too, but before he could, he was-uh ... found."

"Found? By whom-oh." My eyes widened. "Sebastian. That is ... Tyler. Or whatever his name is."

Adam shrugged, nodding. "Yep."

"How bad?"

"The beating? A couple of weeks in hospital, but no permanent injuries."

"Oh, my God ..." I covered my mouth with my hands, feeling tears prickle behind my eyes. "So that's why Chris hasn't even tried to send a message?"

Adam nodded. "He realized your ex was keeping tabs on him. So ... he couldn't risk. I mean, mom told him you were here, but that was the last time he even dared utter your name out loud, in fear ears could be listening, eyes could be watching."

"Oh, my God ... is he ... where is he now?" I shook my head. "This is all my fault!"

"He's fine." Adam came over to stop me, and that's when I realized I'd been pacing the room like a mad woman. "I assure you, he's fine. He spent the past 2 months in Toronto with Meredith."

I brought a hand to my heart, feeling relieved. Shaking my head, I sat on the edge of the couch. "I'm such an idiot. I should have told Dylan ... of course, the first person Sebastian would look for could only be Chris."

"Did they know each other?"

"Not in person, but Sebastian knew about him."

Adam nodded, pursing his lips. "Taking out the competition, I see."

My eyes shot at him. "You really think he's looking for me?"

"Uh ... maybe? I'm no cop, but criminals have pretty good tech nowadays." Adam rubbed his cheek, like he does when he's pondering but a bit nervous. "I mean ... it's been 3 months and, from what I understand, this dude is like the Tony Montana of New York. You'd think with his resources and connections ..."

"If he was looking for me, he'd have found me already." I filled in, nodding. "You think all this kerfuffle is for nothing."

"Not entirely for nothing since my brother was hospitalized for 2 weeks and had to literally leave the country."

"Sorry." I lowered my glance, feeling extra guilty, especially given Adam's concerned look and irritated tone.

"It's not your fault." He sat beside me, and took my hand. "We all have that one creepy ex." Adam joked, cracking a small smile, but I couldn't share that attempt at lightening up the mood. My idiocy put people I love in danger. Especially Chris.

Of course, Sebastian would go first of all to Chris. And if it wasn't to find me, it was out of revenge. I wonder if he found out Chris had been digging in his past. "Your brother asked his cop buddy to find info on Sebastian," I mentioned out loud.

"What cop buddy?"

"Some guy he knew in college."

Adam frowned, confused. "Chris doesn't have a cop buddy."

I looked at him, flabbergasted. "No, no, he does ... he literally told me. He said he normally asked his cop friend to do a background check on men I dated."

"That's not creepy at all ..." Adam scoffed sarcastically. "But it's definitely something I'd picture Chris doing." He glanced at me for a moment. "He does love you, you know. I mean, my brother is a thick-headed, oblivious dumbass that wouldn't recognize a diamond if he stared right at it. But ... you're quite literally the love of his life."

I cracked a small bittersweet smile, lowering my glance. "Not in that sense."

"No, no, in that precise sense." Adam scoffed. "He was supposed to tell you, but like I said, he's a dumbass."

"Wait, what?" I stared at him in shock, confused as ever.

"When you two had that mega fight ... the dumbass was supposed to confess his feelings for you. But he chickened out, of course, and made a worse mess instead."

"But ... that can't be true ..." I stood up again, confused as ever, tears staining my cheeks. "The things he said, the way he's acted the past 10 years ..."

"Look," Adam stood up as well, "I'm not going to justify him. What he did was unforgivable, but ... I mean, given the circumstances, I thought you should know what he feels."

I closed my eyes, wishing all the noise in my head and around me would just ... go away. Now as ever I wished I could go back in time. If not to 10 years ago, at least to that night 3 months ago, when Chris and I had that quarrel that seemed to mark the end of our bond. If I had known, if he had told me ... no. I shook my head, uncaring of what Adam saw. Nothing would have changed.

Loving me now couldn't make up for the years of willful cruelty. Ten years spent pretty much testing my loyalty, making sure I always, always picked him. Ten years spent making me painfully aware of the impossibility of our situation. Could I forgive all that with a simple I love you from Chris?

A knock on the door woke me from my reverie. I barely heard my mom asking me to go get it. I passed a hand over my face to wipe the remnants of my silent tears. "Could you?" I asked Adam, hinting at the door. "I need to wash my face ... again."

He pressed his lips, barely hiding a smile. "Well ... you should go see for yourself."

"Why?"

"Just go." Before I could argue, Adam walked away, heading to the kitchen. "So, what has my Mama Dawson prepared? The smell from the living room was way too tempting to resist." I could hear him talk to my mother, which was followed by her giggle. Like I said, Adam has always her favorite Knight brother.

Highly hoping the person at the door was simply someone I could send away in a minute, I headed there. I was in no mood for neighborly chitchat. However, when I opened the front door, I was astonished to find a totally different surprise. I opened my mouth to say even only his name, but no sound came out. I felt as if I had no voice at all.

The same smile I had always deemed charming and sexy now seemed psychotic. Especially given the brazen audacity with which he took a step closer, familiarly grabbing my hand to pull me into him. "Hello, my goddess." Sebastian grinned, giving me a quick kiss. "Did you miss me?"