Chapter 37

My mind was racing as I tried to piece together everything that was happening. Sebastian's alertness and quick thinking had me convinced that we were in grave danger, yet the appearance of Tony and the FBI agents left me even more confused.

Now that they stood next to him, I remembered Agents Ferrera and Durant - if those were their real names - looked familiar because I saw them years ago, at a party Adam threw. I wonder how did he not recognize them when they were here last week, but maybe he did, that's why he was hostile with them.

As Tony approached us, his lackeys next to him, both pointing their guns at us, a small smirk played at the corners of his lips. "I told you, Tyler, you got soft." He claimed, talking to Sebastian, who, amazingly, remained perfectly calm. Tony shrugged. "You can't blame me for taking ... countermeasures."

"Is that what we call betrayal now?" Sebastian scoffed, yet still keeping his cool. This would definitely look like a movie, if I wasn't right in the middle of it. It didn't go unnoticed that Sebastian kept us closer to the wall, which might have meant being caged, but in truth, he was probably making sure Tony's lackeys couldn't circle us. I wonder whether Dylan knows about his ex-wife's side hustle.

Tony's smirk grew wider. "See, hubris was always your weak spot. Along with women." He shook his head. "First Lola, now her." He hinted at me, despite my desperate attempts at remaining out of his sight as I hid behind Sebastian. "Every time you go crazy about a woman, you go soft." Tony gritted his teeth. "Last time, it nearly cost us everything we built."

"That's not true at all. Lola was never a hindrance." Spotting the pain in Sebastian's voice was inevitable.

"On the contrary, she almost got you to quit." Tony's creepy smirk reappeared. "Good thing she was at the wrong place at the wrong time."

I could feel Sebastian tense up, but he kept his cool. He probably knew Tony was trying to make him emotional just to catch him in foul. "If you wanted me all to yourself, you should have just said so," he mocked, "but I'm sorry, honey, I just don't bat for that team." If Tony's attempts at rattling Sebastian's confidence seemed futile, on the contrary Sebastian broke through the man's cool façade with just one joke.

Tony's face contorted with rage, his fingers pressing harder on the gun as his eyes narrowed. "You think you're so clever, huh."

Sebastian shrugged nonchalantly. "I try."

"Vivian." Tony called my name, his voice chilly and ever so booming. "How's Adam? Does he miss me?"

Somehow, I was certain it wasn't a random polite question nor the pure interest of an ex-boyfriend. "He's much better off without you, thanks." I bit back boldly, but I knew he was only trying to suggest there were many people he could hurt.

He merely laughed, but Sebastian seemed surprised. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "You two know each other?"

"Of course." Tony smirked. "We've known each other a long time. Right, Vivian?"

"Not in the sense you're implying." I spat bravely, gluing my body closer to Sebastian's. Romans said: divide et impera. Divide and conquer. Most people will think it's about splitting your resources to get more, but in truth it's about dividing the enemy forces, setting them against one another so that you have less to fight. Tony was trying to do just that by instilling a doubt in Sebastian, a simple doubt.

A man that trusts no one will inevitably question everyone ... including the woman he claims to love. One small doubt would be enough to turn him against me or even only distract him enough to make him lower his guard. I was certain that was Tony's aim.

"You think?" He acted surprised. "We've spent a lot of time together."

"He was Adam's boyfriend some time ago." I explained, talking to Sebastian in a lower voice. "Whatever he says, he and I were never close. Actually, he's conveniently ignoring the fact that I always wanted Adam to break up with him."

"I know." Sebastian claimed, yet he evidently relaxed a little, even smiling slightly. "I would sooner shoot myself in the head before pointing my gun at you, my love. Don't worry about his tricks."

"Case in point." Tony sighed loudly, seemingly having heard us, despite our low voices. "Softer and softer." He rolled his eyes. "Remember kings are easily overthrown when they're weak."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Tony's words. He always did have a way of making everything sound like some kind of power play. But despite his snide remarks, I knew that he was right about one thing: weakness could be deadly for Sebastian. I've seen enough mafia movies to know that, whichever the criminal business you're in, when you're the boss, the moment you show weakness you get taken out. Literally.

"Agent Ferrera," I called boldly, just to divert the subject, "since when FBI protects kingpins?"

"That's such a nasty word," Tony answered on her behalf, laughing, "I'm not a kingpin, am I? I'm just a man that knows what he wants. Much like my friend Tyler here ... if only he wasn't so easily distracted by each and every hoe he meets."

"Don't talk about her like that." Sebastian growled, taking a step further, which only proved to his enemy that he was right in one thing: I'm a weak spot for him. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt as I glanced at Sebastian's wrathful expression. He was putting himself in danger just by defending me, and the last thing I wanted was for him to get hurt because of his feelings for me.

"Boys," Agent Ferrera cut in sharply, her eyes scanning the room, "stop bickering."

The men's eyes snapped to her, not truly impressed, but rather almost offended at being scolded like children. "Does your husband know you like to dabble in dangerous games, Agent?" Sebastian mocked. "He's such a sweet soul, he'd be devastated."

"Ex." She clenched her jaw. "Dylan is nothing but a loser." She spat. "He never understood what it takes to thrive in this world." I'd have wanted to defend him, but I knew better than to make her think there was something between me and her ex, which, according to Dylan, she already did. Alas, her nasty words confirmed me that he knew nothing about all this. If only he hadn't gone back to New York, though, at the very least our odds would be more even.

Tony chuckled, taking advantage of the brief silence that followed. "Well, this is all very entertaining but let's not forget the reason why we're all here."

"Why are you here?" Sebastian bit back, seemingly tired of the situation. "Why did you bring these puppets here?" He raised his voice. "You know better than to pry into my private business, Tony."

"Is that really your concern right now?" The man acted surprised. "You're about to die, yet your problem is that I involved your cute little hoe?"

Before Sebastian could lunge for Tony's throat, doing something irremediably silly and getting himself killed just to protect my honor, I tightened my grip on his muscles. "I have an idea." I whispered through gritted teeth, hoping only he would hear me. "Keep him talking."

I actually did have a plan. It was a crazy long shot, but I had no other choice. Sebastian hesitated for a moment before finally nodding, intrigued by my sudden change in demeanor. I tuned out their criminal lingo talks, made of references to this and that deal and other stuff I couldn't and didn't want to focus on at the moment.

We were right by the kitchen, so at first I thought I could somehow retrieve the knives from the oven, but that would be impossible. When I saw the frying pan on the burner, I almost smiled, remembering. Two words came to my mind: tear gas. When Sebastian arrived, I had been making Cajun chicken for myself. Incidentally, the recipe includes hot boiling oil and cayenne pepper: two ingredients that, if left unsupervised together in a frying pan and in the right circumstances can technically aerosolize capsaicin – a dangerous component of cayenne pepper. That would create tear gas, or something close to it.

The only problem was, I never forget burners on ... it'd already been turned off a long time ago, making it cold by now. I could try to slyly turn it back on, but there weren't many chances of doing that without being noticed.

"I need 5 minutes." I whispered, keeping myself glued to Sebastian, in hopes they'd think I was only scared.

He didn't reply, but his back tensed. A moment later, he broke through Tony's villainous speech about all the tools he could use to kill us: "You never forgave me for Lola, did you?"

The sole mention of his late girlfriend took me aback, but what really shocked me was seeing the same reaction on Rachel and her partner. Tony showed pure anger, instead. "A man that chooses a silly girl over business is doomed." He spat through gritted teeth. "If I hadn't killed her, you'd have quit for her."

Oh, no. "You WHAT?!" Sebastian roared, this time really lunging for Tony's throat, uncaring of the two guns pointed at him – Tony had lowered his during his TED talk about the importance of cold blood in the drug business and the absolute danger that women are.

Before his goons could shoot, I grabbed the cayenne pepper powder jar from the counter, and threw the contents at their faces, incapacitating them for a moment. While they were temporarily blind, I grabbed the frying pan, and smacked Rachel's face with it, then I tried to use all the force I had to do the same to her partner. Both fell to the ground, losing consciousness, hopefully for a long time.

Meanwhile, Sebastian's grief-fed wrath had allowed him to not only disarm Tony, but to throw him onto the ground. There was no chance he could free himself, Sebastian's body was keeping him down. He punched Tony through his skull, over and over again, until there was blood all over the floor.

"Sebastian, stop!" I shouted, but he couldn't hear me. "Stop!" I went to grab his arm, but he easily swatted me off him, like a nosy fly. "You're killing him!" I tried to make him reason again.

"That's the point!" He continued punching Tony, his eyes filled with such a malice that would make any sane person shudder. "A life for a life." The sadism dripping in his voice was terrifying. Only a few moments ago he was a sweet man trying to protect me. Now he was a bloodthirsty murderer in seek of revenge.

I scrambled forward once again, in a vain attempt at restraining him, but he easily threw me off. Struggling to stay on my feet, I stumbled backwards and tripped into Rachel's limp silhouette, which caused me to fall backwards, hitting my head against the countertop. The last thing I heard was Sebastian calling my name while something warm and sticky was dripping down onto my face.

💫💫

I woke up in a hospital bed. Again. It's becoming a habit. The first thing I felt was a sharp pain through my skull and immediate nuisance when light hit my eyes. How long was I out cold? As my sight slowly adjusted to the brightness, I spotted a silhouette by the window.

"I told you," a male voice claimed sharply, coming from that person, "this is what happens when you don't listen to me."

My eyes widened in shock, my heart starting to race. "Chris?"

Before I could even sit up straight, he was by the bed. The vicious smirk on his face was nothing like I had ever seen on him. "Like I said," he claimed, a pillow in his hands, "if I don't have you, Vivian, no one will." He pressed the pillow onto my face, making it increasingly impossible for me to breathe. My throat tightened and my lungs screamed for air, but panic and desperation set in quickly when I realized there was no way out.

Gasping for air, I jolted awake, drenched in sweat. It was just a nightmare. I looked around the dark room, trying to calm down my racing heart. Slowly, I regained my bearings and remembered where I was. The hospital. Again.

I reached for the glass of water on the bedside table, my hands still shaking. As I took a sip, the events of the previous night came back to me. The attack, the struggle, and then...nothing. How did I end up here? The last thing I remembered was losing consciousness after hitting my head against the countertop.

"Hey, there," a gentle voice came from the door, "good to see you back with us."

When I looked up, I spotted a somewhat tall, chubby blonde nurse who was smiling kindly at me. "What ... how did I end up here?"

She came over, and grabbed my arm to check my vitals. "A man found you."

"What ... what man?" I asked, confused.

"A very handsome man, I gotta say." The nurse chuckled lightly. "He said he found you in your garden, you probably fell and hit your head." Only Sebastian would lie so easily. "Is there anyone you'd like us to call? You've been out cold for a couple of days."

I closed my eyes and dropped back against the bed when she was done checking my vitals. "Not yet." I murmured. There was no need for my parents or anyone else to see me in a hospital. Again. "Did ... did the man leave a name?"

"Unfortunately, he didn't." The nurse made a sorry face. "He just brought you here then disappeared out of thin air." Of course.

I mumbled a thank you, and the nurse took her leave, but not before having let me know that Dr. Hourani would soon come see me. I closed my eyes, trying to piece together everything that happened, even though I almost wished my memories were gone. I could never forget the cruel look on Sebastian's face. I had foolishly thought the man that claimed to love me could be different from the criminal, that Sebastian and Tyler weren't the same person, that Tyler was just some ... persona, some character he had to play due to his business. It was stupid.

After all, he wasn't forced into it, he chose it. He chose to become a drug lord, a murderer, a dangerous criminal. All this time, I pushed back the thought that he had murdered people before, just because it suited me, because at the end of the day, it seemed safer. After all, a criminal but loving husband is better than a manipulative, possibly violent boyfriend.

Between a best friend that lied to me, controlled me, gaslighted me for years, and a baby daddy that, while being evidently involved in highly dangerous circles, acted like the sweetest man around me, the choice seemed somewhat easier. Somehow, I fooled myself into believing I could simply look away, ignore the Tyler Banks part as long as it didn't trickle into the Sebastian Woodthorne side. Someone like me that spent the past ... 10 years at least, being lied to and manipulated, you'd think I'd know that people can put up a deep façade until they get what they want.

I placed a hand on my belly, thinking about the baby and what his chances might be. However, I frowned when I felt nothing. Panic seeped through me when I realized my belly was evidently ... smaller. "Nurse!" I screamed, frantically trying to stand up from the bed. "Nurse!"

The blonde from before came into the room just as I was about to set my feet on the floor. "You shouldn't move yet," she said, "you'll pull the stitches."

"What stitches?"

She took a deep breath, giving me a pitiful look as she helped me sit back on the bed. "I'm sorry, honey, I was instructed not to tell you anything until Dr. Hourani arrived." Oh, God. "You had a concussion, which ... paired with high blood pressure problems cause eclampsia. Eclampsia led to placental abruption and-"

"Just ... tell me, is my son still alive?"

The nurse shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry, honey, he didn't make it."

My chest tightened and a strangled cry escaped my lips. The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn't help but feel numb. I looked down at my stomach, now hollow and empty, and the tears started to flow. The nurse tried to comfort me, but her words fell on deaf ears. All I could think about was the future I had envisioned. Only now I realized I had put a lot more than I thought in this pregnancy.

These four months were ridden with grief and fears, more than just uncertainty. Chris or Sebastian, Sebastian or Chris ... the dilemma had always had the same outcome. Whoever I ended up with, be it even alone, there would always be a baby to love and care for. Even at the height of my desperation for a love lost and the impossible situation I was in, thinking about the baby had seemed like a relief. At the very least, it was something I could pour myself into, like some sort of rebirth, a new purpose. Now it was gone.

It was all my fault. I called Sebastian, I inadvertently attracted his enemies to my parents' home. I foolishly thought that his alleged feelings for me could stop his murderous fury. What was it that he said? A life for a life.