(31) The Way You Deserve To Be Loved

"Who're you texting?" Elle leans over to look at my phone.

"Remember the guy from the theater? I ask, popping my gum in my mouth, "Him."

"But you're dating Mason."

"And it's illegal to have guy friends while having and maintaining a steady relationship?" I raise an eyebrow.

She shakes her head, "Mason first."

"Mason is aware not all my friends have the same parts as me. We're just friends, E."

"Maybe I should've set myself up with this guy, instead of you."

I chuckle, "Maybe."

"What was his name again?"

"Myles. He's really funny, actually."

"That's good. It's good to have guy friends as long as you have obvious boundaries. Actually, you don't really have to worry about that, I'm pretty sure Mason would throw the first punch at any guy that attempted to make a move on you."

I nod, "True. He wants to know if I want to go out to eat and hangout sometime."

Elle shrugs, "Why not? Does he know about Mase?"

I have a boyfriend. I type out, tapping send.

I chuckle as I see his response.

Aly, Aly, Aly, we're just friends I thought? Or are you trying to get in my pants now? Cuz if so, I wouldn't mind too much.

Elle rolls her eyes.

"Hey E?"

"Yeah?"

"How's Parker doing? I haven't talked to him much since the hospital. He said he's accepted me and Mason..but honestly I don't know."

"Well, he's definitely hurt, Lex. I think he really cared about you and you didn't pick him. I know that's not your fault but he needs time."

"I miss him." I mumble, "I didn't know not choosing him would mean I'd never be able to see or be friends with him again."

"You probably will be friends again, it would be too hard not to be, but Lexa he really liked you. It's going to take a while for him accepting these new limits. He'll catch on fast though, Mason would probably beat him up if he went past them."

I laugh, "Probably."

"I'll ask Myles if he wants to hang out with all of us."

"That's a good idea." Elle smiles, "When does he want to do something?"

"He said next weekend is the only weekend he's available for a while."

Elle shrugs, "That's fine, we'll be starting Christmas break that weekend."

"I'm going to go call Mase quick." I say, and walk into the small living room.

He picks up on the fifth ring.

Jeez, I should break up with his sorry ass. Not answering until the fifth ring. Who does he think he is? Jokes aside, I respond in an amused sort of tone.

"Hello Mason." I smirk into the phone, twirling my hair in my fingers on one hand, clutching my phone in the other.

"Lex." He greets me, "I miss you."

"It's been three day's since I've seen you." I chuckle, "How are you?"

"Stressed. Sex deprived."

I blush, "Well, can't help you on the latter, but as for the first one, what are you stressed about?"

"Well, for starters, an eighteen year old should not have to plan his mother's funeral. And manage to take care of a four year old at the same time, as well as school and homework and life. I'm not going to lie, it's hard. I don't know what to do anymore."

"How about I hang out with Elodie tomorrow and you can stay after and talk to your teachers about your homework. I'm sure they'd understand if you asked for extra time."

"But I don't want extra time. I just want to be a normal guy and get it done. I don't want to plan this. I don't want to be in charge of my little sister. I don't want any of this."

"Mase, I'm going to come over, okay?" I bite my lip.

"Lexa-"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I hang up.

"Elle!" I holler, "I'm going to see Mason."

I then let myself out the door, letting it gently close behind me. I stop by my apartment quickly, and grab a coat while tiptoeing to avoid potentially millions questions that I don't have to answer for mom.

I head out to my car and start the frequent path to Mason's house. Unfortunately for me, the traffic was not in my favor, and the fifteen minute trek, turned to twenty. And then thirty. Forty five minutes later, I finally pull up to his house and let myself in.

Entering the interior of the kitchen is drastically different from the other times I've been here. Visions, good and bad, cloud over my mind, and won't disappear.

Louise teaching me how to make a cooked dish for dinner.

Louise smiling brightly as she answers the door.

Louise helping Elodie set the table.

All around, I see her smile. It plagues me. If this is any indicator of how Mason must be feeling, all I know is I wouldn't be strong enough to go through this.

"Hey." I hear a voice mumble behind me, and I feel arms encircle my waist from behind as I feel his warm breath hot against my neck. I turn around, my back pressed against the kitchen island, instant reminders of our previous encounters in this very kitchen.

Mason seems to remember too, as he smirks down at me.

"How are you?" I look up at him.

"A lot better." He chews his lip, "Now that you're here."

I smile, "I'm gonna be here for a while too. Help you out some."

"If by help, you mean taking care of a present that's going to arise itself in about thirty seconds, please stay as long as you'd like."

I chuckle, moving out of his embrace and grabbing a notebook from a kitchen drawer.

"What all has to get done around here?"

"Me." He smirks.

I roll my eyes, "You're just full of it today, aren't you? Where's Elodie?"

"She's upstairs sleeping. We played outside for a while today. She still doesn't know..I don't know how to tell her, and she keeps asking."

I look at him, the pain obvious in his eyes, "Mase, you have to tell her."

"Can you help me?"

I smile at him, and stand on my tiptoes to peck his lips, "Of course."

He grins down at me.

"Now for the cleaning and everything else that has to get done around here."

-

Five hours later, we're both exhausted. Elodie woke up a few hours ago, but after realizing that she was being much more or a distraction than help, Mason convinced her that it would be more fun for her to play with her toys and watch TV than help us do boring cleaning.

Boring. As if.

I swear every other second, Mason was near me, touching me, planting light kisses on my forehead.

A shock to me, since, with my bunned messy hair, complete with loose strands dangling all over my face, and my two sizes too big sweatpants and long sleeve shirt, I'm sure I look absolutely great right now.

"I think we're done." I smile.

Mason chuckles, "Thanks Lex. I owe you one."

"I'll take that one in food form please."

He grins, "I think I could possibly make that happen."

I bite my lip, unsure of how to approach him about the next topic that needed to be talked about, "Uh, Mason, is there anything I can do to help you out with the funeral?"

"I've decided I want it to be small. The last thing I want to do is sit in a church and listen to people I don't even know, and that don't even know her talk about how great she was."

"Who are you all going to tell about it?"

"You, Elle and Parker and their family, Jared's family, a few of the neighbors, and- hey I've never met your mom." He looks at me, "What's up with that? You hung out with Louise more than you hung out with me, and I don't even know your mother's name?"

"Her name is Ms. Anderson, but you can call her Tracey." I imitate my moms voice.

"Why the attitude about her?"

"It's just, she isn't like Louise, sometimes I feel like she cares more about her work than me."

"I don't know how anyone could value something like shitty work more than something amazing like you, but I'm sure she doesn't mean to."

"I just feel like she cares, but that's all. Nothing more than that."

"What more do you want her to do?"

"I want her to be there."

"I can do that."

"I want her to kiss my forehead before I go to bed at night."

"I can do that."

"I want her to ask me how my day went."

"I can do that."

"I want her to love me."

"I can do that."

I look up at him, my breaths shallow and weak, "What?"

"Alexis Anderson, I can, no I will love you, like you deserve to be loved."

AUTHORS NOTE

Thanks for #31 in teen fiction! Kisses to you all!

NEW BOOK

you can find it on my profile, titled "where the paper crane flies"

QUESTION

what should the official ship names be??

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