Preparation for the Unthinkable

LIANA

Thankfully, I think Zeke is in the shower so it makes this easier. Not long after he left, my skin started to burn up, turning pink as I started to sweat and pant. This fucking heat is coming on strong and it honestly feels like it might kill me this year. Without Lucian nearby to sate me, my hormones are raging.

I pace around the kitchen to try and calm myself and control my breathing. Goddess, where’s a window when you need one?! I’d kill for a breeze to cool myself down with right now. I splash some water on my face and continue to pace.

Of course, the worst is still to come. This is nothing compared to what I am going to go through.

Zeke comes through to the kitchen doing up his jeans, his hair still damp and dripping onto his face. He takes in my current state and breathes in deep, his eyes glowing.

I freeze, and I may even stop breathing, as he stares at me as if I’m a meal.

“Zeke,” I squeak.

“Don’t. Just…don’t speak.” His eyes rove over every inch of me and he growls, making me flinch. Shaking his head, he fights for control. “Turn around.”

“N-no…please…”

“You have to trust me,” he breathes, deathly quiet. The tears well in my eyes as I nod, turning around and digging my nails into the palm of my hand, bracing myself. “On your knees.” I don’t argue this time, the tears are flowing too fast as I sink to the floor.

I can hear his thudding footsteps and jump with every single one as I feel him get closer to me. Dropping to his knees behind me, he grips a fistful of my hair and jerks me back against him. I inhale deeply as I feel him moving around behind me. Thankfully, though, he doesn’t touch me other than just holding my hair and breathing me in. He groans a little and chokes on his breath.

Is he doing what I think he is?

My breathing is shallow and quiet as I listen until I hear him growl again. Then a fist bangs into the cabinets beside us. I flinch but he lets go of my hair, stands up, and leaves quickly.

I let out a quivering breath and risk a glance over my shoulder at the empty room.

Do I risk getting up?

I decide against it; it may challenge his wolf. I’ll stay put until he re-enters the room.

***

“I’m sorry…” he murmurs, but I don’t react. “I had to do something…or it would have gotten worse.” I can hear the shame in his voice and turn around with flushed cheeks, understanding now that he did exactly what I guessed. “Are you okay? Umm, here…” He steps closer, offering his hand to help me up. I take it and lift myself from the floor, still blushing at the thought of his indiscretion.

“I’m going to go read for a bit,” I murmur, and he nods.

“Sounds safest. You may want to start prepping your room too. If you are against my—company tomorrow, you need to reinforce the door for your safety.”

I smile slightly before moving around him carefully and leaving for the bedroom. Once around the corner, I jog to my room, close the door behind me, and look around desperately for ways to barricade it.

***

It takes me a good two hours to reinforce the room. I add two deadbolts at the top and bottom of the door using emergency tools and supplies stored in a cabinet in the corner. Luckily, whoever stocked this hideout was very thorough. I also make a makeshift draft excluder out of a towel for the gap at the bottom of the door in hopes it will help prevent my scent from traveling through. Not that he would even need a whiff of it to over-stimulate him…

Once the moon rises, I’ll shift and be howling out for my mate. I’ve never done it before, but I’m going to have to try and fight the shift. Lucian told me his warriors had to master this skill to become the elite guards that they are. It takes years of practice and is excruciatingly painful, but the palace must be guarded at all times; full moons are no exception. He also told me that the most reliable method for gaining control over one’s wolf is extreme pain. The more pain you are experiencing, the harder it is for the shift to take hold.

I look at the makeshift device on the bed and wince. I broke apart several razors to make my own torture device, designed to roll the blades across my skin. I know I will heal afterward as if it never happened, but the thought of having to torture ~myself~ makes me want to vomit. I’ve also broken a glass tumbler and brushed the shards into a pile for me to kneel on… It’s extreme, but I had to find a way to stop this.

If I shift tomorrow, my wolf will seek the closest, strongest male she can find, and, sadly, that will be Zeke…

I grimace at the thought of the pain it would put me and Lucian through if I don’t manage to stop my shift. If Zeke were to enter me, or Goddess forbid, mark me…

~No~ way is that happening. I will endure this pain forever if I have to; anything to keep myself tied to Lucian.

I pull myself off the floor and go in search of food. I have to eat or I’ll weaken too easily.

Thankfully, the kitchen is empty so I swing open the fridge and rummage for a minute before finding a mouthwatering leg of lamb. What a treat! I look at the stove but my stomach rumbles aggressively. Deciding against cooking it, I slump onto the floor, tug the door shut, and dig into the leg raw.

Halfway through my attack on the lamb leg, Zeke appears in the doorway. At first, I don’t even notice.

“Goddess… Liana?” I look up to his bright yet half-horrified expression.

“What?”

“You’re preparing…” he whispers, amazed, as he crouches down to my level and looks over me.

“Preparing? I’m just hungry,” I say with a chuckle, and tear off another bite.

“You’re ready to get pregnant, sweetheart…”

My stomach instantly becomes an empty pit and I feel the blood drain out of my face.

Ah, shit.