Chapter 31

He pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and his pointer-finger. He was aware of his light footsteps and Ashton's footsteps that were confident. He wished he would stop picking up those small details. They were piling up inside of his head, taking up space that he desperately wanted to take back, and he feared by the end of things he'd have his own library of random facts about Ashton.

That wasn't useful or healthy at all.

"They're stopping."

Ren looked up. The Hunters were at the end of the alleyway. The woman—Remy—was pointing down at the scanner and talking to the men. She had a scowl on her face.

Ren and Ashton ducked behind a wide tree. Ren didn't know if it was necessary, but he was all in favor of not being caught.

"Do you know where they're going?" He tried to not think about how close they were again. Somehow he managed to just focus on the three Hunters and now how it would be easy to press his body against Ashton's.

"I have no idea."

Ren pressed his lips together. "Hell Hounds. They're familiar with them."

Ashton didn't say anything. He just stared at the backs of the Hunters. Ren shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. A shiver went through him. He shuddered, clenching his jaw so that his teeth wouldn't chatter.

They followed them for a while longer without anything major happening. Ren wouldn't say that he got bored easily, but he was getting this nervous tic that he didn't like. His fingers were thrumming on the inside of his jacket pocket. He chewed on his bottom lip.

"Stop that." Ashton put his hand on Ren's wrist.

Ren jumped as Ashton's cold fingertips grazed over his skin. He pulled away, careful to not make a scene that would draw the Hunters' attention.

"What?"

Ashton pulled his hand away. "You fidgeting. It's annoying."

Ren wrinkled his nose. "Piss off."

Ashton frowned and looked like he was about to argue further, but Ren walked away before he had the chance. He wasn't running because he was scared of Ashton. He knew that he couldn't do anything to him until their deal was finished. He was running because he could feel the buzzing within him coming to the surface.

He didn't know what had set it off. He wasn't that angry. He'd only been a little surprised when Ashton had put his hand on him.

Though he didn't like that he'd noticed the shaking in his hands. He'd seen it before—he'd pointed it out before and hadn't been as nice about it as he'd just been. The thing inside of him really didn't make sense. It was thirsty for blood and violence. It didn't matter where it came from. All that mattered was that it got it when it wanted it.

But it also wanted Ashton for another reason beside how good his blood tasted. It was like the thing inside of him was drawn to something about Ashton that Ren couldn't see.

The appeal was there if Ashton wasn't such an asshole. His personality made him ugly and that was the end of it.

It wasn't like if Ashton was nice things would be different.

Ren wasn't paying attention to where he was going. He was caught up in the swirling thoughts of mayhem. His fangs ached for blood—blood that it couldn't have.

"Get out of the way before you get us caught!" Ashton hissed from behind Ren.

Ren looked up and saw that he was in direct line of sight with the Hunters. He grumbled swears to himself as he moved away before Ashton had an aneurysm.

"Better?" He tossed a quick look over his shoulder.

Ashton was glaring at him.

"I hate you."

Ren snickered.

For another thirty minutes, they followed the Hunters. They were heading to the forest that surrounded Crystal Mountain. It was most likely they were heading to the spot where he and Ashton had come into contact with the Hell Hounds.

They took the long path around and instead of crossing over the old highway, they went through town.

Ren noticeably stiffened as they officially entered the heart of Montis.

There was a clear difference between the actual town of Montis and the broken down blocks that were west of it. Where the homeless, druggies, and the blitzed out people hid was far easier to blend into. Ren didn't have to fear for his life because of his fangs on that side of town. He didn't have to hide because he was afraid someone would recognize him.

It said something when he would rather take his chances with a coked out man with a knife than a man who hated vampires and worshipped the Hunter Society.

And it wasn't just the people in the town that made Montis that much different than the blocks that were wasting away.

The scenery was sad. The buildings were intact—they were well kept because they were all that the small town could offer. The streets were clean and the roads weren't too fucked up. Surprisingly, it wasn't shabby like others outside of small towns would think it would be.

It should have been welcoming.

It wasn't.

Ren could feel the air change. He could feel the atmosphere tighten around his neck. Invisible hands clenched around his throat, thumbs pressing into his Adam's apple to jolt a sharp pain down to his sternum. He'd felt them before. He'd felt it so many times that he knew the feeling when he felt it.

There was always this invisible monster chasing him down. Those hands belonged to it and no matter where he went inside this town, it was always following him, waiting for him to come back where it could reach him. He couldn't get rid of it.

It was different from the dark thing that buzzed with a craving for destruction. This thing didn't want anything from him. It just wanted to kill him.

When he looked at the semi-empty store fronts, he felt a million eyes on him. The people of Montis were watching him. They knew who he was. They knew what his father had done. Ren was no better than him in their eyes.

It wasn't just the millions of eyes or the monster that was pressed against his back. This town was a blood stain on the map. Anyway he looked at it, all he could see were the horribly memories he had to deal with when he least expected them. He would have thought he would have forgotten them. The times someone said a snide remark toward him and his mom. When he fell on the playground and his teacher told him to suck it up when he asked for help.

The small things like a store clerk asking him to empty his pockets when he was three years old. Or all the times he was harassed durring lunch in middle school.

They were melding together to form one big pot of shit that was being thrown at him. He shouldn't be able to remember them. He shouldn't have to remember them. But as he looked around his home town, he didn't just see gloomy buildings and cracked sidewalks.

He saw every person that hated him. He saw them glaring at him because it was his fault that they were unsafe. It was his fault that their lives were shit.

He was the wrong and they were the right.

The streets were bare. There were a few people in the grocery store. They were watching him. No. That wasn't true. It was in his head. They hadn't noticed either of them.

Even so, his gut twisted and the nape of his neck itched like he was being watched.

Breathe. They don't care about you. They don't see you. It's not real.

It felt real. He hated that. He hated that he couldn't convince his stupid mind that what he was imagining wasn't reality. He was lost in a battle between the fear and the reassurance that he wasn't going to be murdered today.

He made sure Ashton couldn't see his face. He already knew that there was fear etched in there. Maybe even a hint of sickness that would no doubt be a big sign that he was at his weakest. Except, of course, it wasn't. It could get worse. It wouldn't take much to shove him down to a melted mess of sobs.

The shaking in his hands wasn't just because of the buzzing inside of him. It was the monster following him and the millions of eyes that he still couldn't convince himself were nothing.

His stride didn't slow down. He made sure to keept a few steps in front of Ashton so that he didn't get a chance to see how un-put together he was.

Slowly, the more he stared at the backs of the Hunters the more he was able to fall into a trance. They were far away, just dots in the distance, and when they disappeared into the forest, Ren couldn't see them at all.

It was only when they stepped away from the paved streets that Ren felt the heavy tension lessen. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The air was different. It wasn't heavy. It was crips and it wasn't poisoned by the intrusive thoughts of the past.

The worry was still under his skin, itching him, piercing him deep enough to scar. But he couldn't do anything about that. It would never go away. A part of him would always be afraid of the evil inside humans.

The Hunters weren't long gone in the forest. Their colors were lost in the scraggly and naked branches of the large trees. Their twisted bodies covered the Hunters from Ren's sight. They weren't too far away though. They could turn around and in no time they would be right upon him and Ashton.

What would happen then? Did Ashton have a plan for something like that?

Ren snorted. He was tired of all this. He was tired of being on the edge of death. He was tired of always being afraid of something that was bigger than himself.

It would have been so much easier if he wanted to die. Unfortunately, he wanted to live.

How fucked up was that?

Again, he was getting lost in his thoughts. He was agitated, his hands twitching, and his mind blinded by all the horrible memories of being born into a cruel world.

He turned completely around.

"Where are you going?"

It might have been the one time that he'd actually thrown Ashton for a loop. It was also the only time that he didn't fucking care about what he was thinking or about what he thought about Ren. He wanted to get the hell out of there and not think a second more about the Hunters.

He'd only made it a few feet away when Ashton grabbed his arm and wrenched him back. He let out a frustrated growl and tugged his arm out of Ashton's ridiculously strong grip.

"I'm going home," he hissed. Ashton gave him a "what the fuck" look, but that wasn't enough to make him lower his voice. "I'm tired of doing this wild goose chase. They're not going to lead us to the Hunter Society base like you thought. Admit it, okay? You were wrong."

Irrational. He was being fucking irrational, but he was tired. His nerves were all over the place and while he wanted to be stronger—while he wanted to be that person that protected his family—there were times that he needed to be real with himself. That was one of those times.

He wasn't cut out for this. He was going to have a heart attack if he took another step in that forest.

"I'm not wrong!"

Ashton wrapped his arms around Ren's chest and jolted him back. Ren's eyes went wide as his back was slammed against Ashton's chest.

He was frozen. He couldn't breathe and he couldn't blink. He stared at the tiny buildings that dotted the road in front of them. Ashton's large hands gripped onto Ren's hoodie like he thought Ren was going fall through his fingers like water. Except Ren couldn't think anymore. The thoughts that had been buzzing all around him were finally silent.

All it really took was for everything to go wrong.

Because everything about Ashton was wrong.

He was the thing that was destroying Ren's life. And if the racing of his heart or the rush of blood in his drums wasn't enough, the ache in his stomach was the cherry on top of the shit storm.

He felt sick by the touch. The warmth of Ashton's body against his, the sinking of his fingers into Ren's chest, and the curling lust in his abdomen brought upon him waves of disgust for Ashton and himself.

But he couldn't sort through it all. His mind was a puddle of mush.

"Don't fuck this up," Ashton bit though his clenched teeth. "They're looking for the Hounds. They're too stupid to think about what the Hounds are looking for."

Ren clenched his hands into fists. "They're looking for the portal."

"Right. They're trying to go home."

Ren closed his eyes. "Okay. Enlighten me. What are your plans for when they do find the Hounds?"

Ashton placed his chin on Ren's shoulder. Ren stilled when he felt Ashton's warm breath fan over his ear.

"How does a game of cat and mouse sound?"