Chapter 42

There was no time for him to do anything but hide. He wasn't looking for another fight and though he felt the thing rising within him—looking forward to a brawl—Ren thought it might not be wise after he'd been sucking down on Mantel blood.

If he thought Regan and Darrien wanted to kill him now, they surely would want to rip him limp from limp after what he'd done.

Ren didn't look where he was going as he startled backwards. He ended up slamming into Ashton.

He startled, hands grabbed onto Ashton's waist without meaning to, but Ashton didn't seem to notice as he stared past Ren at the spot where Darrien and Regan must have been.

"What's going on?"

Ren pushed Ashton back, steering him by his hips. "Can we hide before we talk about this?"

Ren hissed, glancing over his shoulder. He couldn't see much of anything with the trees in the way, but he was starting to get his senses back which meant he could feel Regan's hostility. He only knew that it was Regan's because it was that pure anger that Ren always felt when he was around Regan.

Ashton still looked like he was going to confront the two by himself and Ren wasn't having any of that. He pushed Ashton back, not using a lot of force, and Ashton didn't fight back. He was glad too because he didn't want to have to fight Ashton and the other two at the same time. Having to deal with one or the other was bad enough.

They weren't that well hidden. If anyone with good working eyes went looking for them, they would definitely see two people pressed together against a tree.

"I'm starting to wonder if this is your thing." Ashton was closer to Ren that he'd originally thought. He pressed closer so that he could lift his chin just slightly to speak into Ren's ear.

Ren clenched his jaw.

"What?" He shouldn't have responded. He shouldn't have given in.

Ashton didn't say at first. He was milking this. He was pissing Ren off just for the fun of it.

He then remembered he had his hands on Ashton's hips. If someone saw them like this, they most definitely would get the wrong idea.

There wasn't a smirk or smile on Ashton's face, however, Ren could see that mischievous glint in his eyes that was just as foreign as was a genuine smile.

"We keeping ending up like this. Hiding together." There was an implied question there that Ren wasn't going to answer.

His face burned.

"Unfortunate coincidences."

Ashton snorted. The puff of air tickled Ren's neck, making the hairs on his nape stand up.

The footsteps were closer now and the emotions that were trickling into Ren's head were getting denser. He felt like he was in a smoke filled room and he was slowly getting light headed.

The thing scratched, demanding for more blood. It was sweet torture for Ashton to be so close after he'd fed so much. Ren unconsciously licked his lips.

Ashton's eyes followed the movement.

Ren removed his hands and balled them into fists at his sides.

"Will you shut up?"

Ren was cut off guard when he heard Darrien's angry voice cut through the almost complete silence. He heard the two of them come up from a few feet behind him and Ashton. They were too close for comfort.

"I'm just saying the truth. If that's not what you want to hear, then too bad. Maybe you're too scared to hear it."

"It's not the fucking truth. Just because you think you know everything because you're kissing my Uncle's ass—"

Ren was hit with a blast of anger. It was like feeling the heat rolling from an open oven. But it didn't last long. It was replaced by irritation and then nothing.

He could almost feel Darrien rolling his eyes. He knew the same feeling. Ashton got his nerves a lot. Regan as well.

"Nevermind. There's no point in trying to get through to you."

They were marching on past Ren and Ashton. They hadn't even seemed to notice that the two of them were hiding in almost plain sight. Thankfully, they were too busy going at each others throats.

It felt like forever until they walked completely past Ren and Ashton. The whole time, Ren was running through his head what would happen if Regan and Darrien did find them. He thought about how he'd already given up on his life so it really didn't matter if he died or not.

But Ashton...

Could he be content if he let Ashton die because he'd given up on life?

His chest clenched.

He hated that he felt guilty from just thinking about it.

Ren wasn't holding his breath. When he could faintly hear their bickering and footsteps, there was no relief because he hadn't been afraid at all. There was a missing piece of him. The piece that used to cower at anything that posed a threat. Now, he didn't feel almost anything at all.

He wasn't sure that was a good or bad thing.

Ren startled when Ashton slid to his side. "What was that about?"

Ren swallowed. He could feel the heat coming off of Ashton. It was pulling him toward him, entrancing him, and he had to fight to get control of his body. He didn't understand why he was reacting so much by something so irrelevant. They weren't even touching and Ashton had so much power over him.

He shook his head. "I have no idea."

Though he didn't know what the two had been talking about, he did know something was going on between the two of them. Whether that amounted to anything sinister, that was something he had yet to discover.

"So..." Ashton drawled. Ren wasn't used to it. It sounded strange. Ashton was usually straight to the point. He wasn't one to keep his thoughts or opinions to himself.

But right then, when Ren turned to look at him—a quizzical look on his face—he was stricken by how unsure Ashton was of himself. He was questioning his thoughts, picking apart his words in his head before he said them.

Ashton looked...

Ren was yet again overtaken with a burning need to overtake Ashton. An image of pressing Ashton against the tree and kissing him until his face was flushed a dark red popped into his head. His stomach pulled tight.

Ashton licked his lips. His fangs hadn't gone away yet. They were still poking every once and a while out of his mouth. They were just as distracting as Ashton's pretty lips.

"We still have a deal."

He was trying to be the hard ass he always was before. That was before Ren bit him. And though it shouldn't have changed anything, it had. Ren didn't see the rich, snotty, Mantel anymore. He saw Ashton. The one he was bound to in a way, which he depended on his life and Ashton depended on his. That was a huge commitment to be put on Ren's shoulders. Though he swore he wouldn't give a shit, he couldn't just make up his mind. Who he was at the core of his soul couldn't be changed.

People just didn't work that way.

As much as Ashton was trying to be the big bad guy in this situation—trying to move Ren's hand for him—it didn't work. Ren could feel his hesitance. It wasn't just his power. It was their connection. Until they found the killer and made sure their names were cleared, it was going to be like this.

Ren frowned. "And?"

He had half a mind to turn around and leave Ashton there. That might have been the better thing to do. The only thing that was going to come out of him sticking around here was trouble. It had been following him since the night he decided to follow the pull he had to Crystal Mountain. That had been his mistake, but he had a chance now to turn his back to all of it.

Though, he would never be fully free of it until he was dead.

That was what everything had come to. He was thinking about ending his life. Over and over. It hadn't even been that long. Thirty minutes since he tried to hurt his mom. That was when he truly found out that there was no place in this world for him.

Why couldn't he turn away from Ashton though? Why did he have to feel guilty about letting him die? He was sure that Ashton wouldn't feel the same about him. He would dance on Ren's grave before he cried over him.

Ashton's face darkened.

So, they were back to this. Shutting down and not caring. Ren was good at that. He was really good now that he didn't give a flying fuck about anything. Sure, he still had his mom to think about, but as long as he stayed away from her, nothing was going to happen to her.

He'd been the source of the problem anyway.

"That means we still have shit to do," he spat out.

Ren snorted. "I didn't know you had such a filthy mouth."

Ashton glowered. He was still handsome as fuck when he was throwing a fit. That was just as irritating as his prissy attitude.

"What are you mad about? Is it because you had to feed? Are you that hung up about your needs?"

Ren rolled his eyes and curled his upper lip in disgust. "Don't say it like that."

Ashton ignored him. He stepped closer. He got up into Ren's space, not caring at all that Ren was glaring at him like he wanted to stake him. "What are you going to do, huh? Run? That's all you do. Run from your problems like that's going to solve any of it."

Ren shoved him. Ashton stumbled back, bumping into the tree. His eyes didn't waver though. He was still staring right at Ren. Piercing his soul like he knew everything when he didn't.

"You don't know a fucking thing about me."

Ren's chest was heaving. He was one fucking second away from mauling Ashton's neck out. Fuck being in control. Fuck being the better person. He wanted to tear Ashton to shreds and make him hurt like Ren was.

But the side of him that still had morality wouldn't let him. Even the thing was howling for him to settle down.

That's when he knew that he was going insane. When the thing was trying to calm him, that's when things had truly gone to hell.

Ashton's face softened. It was just enough to make Ren pause. He didn't believe for a second that Ashton was that sorry for him, but he couldn't quite lie to himself when he could feel some of Ashton's emotions.

He hated that. He hated that he was forced to know what Ashton was feeling. It wasn't about invading Ashton's privacy. It was his own privacy being encroached on and being forced to empathize with the jerk face.

He let out a sound of irritation. He ran a rough hand through his hair, tugging the strands, trying to pull some sense out of his head.

"Fucking hell," he growled out. The words did nothing for him. They didn't even make him feel better.

Ashton was studying him.

"Make a decision," he said, his voice dipping low.

Ren wasn't looking at him. He was staring into the forest, looking after in the direction where Regan and Darrien had gone. His gut clenched.

He had a choice.

Death or...he wasn't sure what to call the other choice. He was positive that either way was going to end up with him dead. Die now or die later.

Kill Ashton or not. Find the person behind all of this or let them get away.

And his mom...

He didn't know what the right choice was. He didn't know if there was a right choice. He was a monster and it felt like he had to take himself out to do the world a favor. But killing Ashton in the process felt like going against everything he was trying to do.

He was trying to be a better person, but he felt like he was already failing.

When he looked back at Ashton, he was lost for words. He simply stared at him, trying to find the answers to all his problems in Ashton's eyes. There was a small sliver of hope that made him do that. It wasn't enough to give him peace. It wasn't even enough to make him think for a second that he had a chance of making a difference in the grand scheme of things. He already knew that he was merely a speck that didn't amount to anything.

But there was hope for a second. Maybe it was just longing. Because he did long for a place to actually belong to. He wasn't human, the vampires didn't want him, and he didn't feel any connection to witches at all.

He was just floating in the middle of it all not sure what to make of himself.

"Well?" Ashton raised his brow.

He was so irritating.

But as much as Ashton irked him, Ren didn't want to see him die. Not for his own selfish reason anyway.

"I'm in."

Ashton merely gazed back at him. He searched Ren's face, eyes roaming and that moment of uncertainty made Ren's stomach twist.

"I'm serious. You can't go back. No matter what." Ashton's voice was firm, but he couldn't hide his own uncertainty. There wasn't much left to hide between the two of them.

"I said I'm in," Ren forced out from his clenched teeth.

He looked away from Ashton's narrowed gaze. He was tired of looking at Ashton's eyes. He was tired of seeing anything of him. It was bad enough that his body was howling for his blood. He didn't want to start obsessing over everything about him.

"Then, since that's settled, we should probably follow them, right?"

Ren shook his head to try and get his thoughts in order. He brushed off Ashton's question—one that didn't need to be answered anyway—and started in the direction that Darrien and Regan had been going.

He said he was in this. Again. He just hoped this was the right choice.