Chapter Thirty-Eight

I couldn't even begin to describe the feelings that flooded through me upon seeing the wizened face of the woman that had lied to me for over twenty years. No, it wasn't quite resentment I felt...but it was like a peculiar mix between curiosity and disappointment. Why was she even here? What were her intentions? Why stoop so low as to raise your youngest son as a woman?

I tried to read that light gaze, tried to read the woman before me...but of course I didn't get anything. I was never good at reading her. Either that, or she was that good at hiding her true intentions.

"Melani," Mother commented after a tense moment of silence.

I frowned. "Mother. To what do I owe this pleasure? Surely you're not here to see how I'm faring."

Mother tilted her head in disapproval at my tone, a frown forming on her face as she pulled dress forward and sat down, drumming her thin fingers against the surface of the stone table. "I do not appreciate your tone, Melani. Now sit, we have much to discuss."

I stared at her with hesitation, before I obliged her wishes and tentatively sat down, folding my hands over the table. "Alright Mother, speak away."

Mother straightened her posture and leaned back against her chair. "Well, we can begin with the massive elephant in the room-"

"You mean the one where you failed to tell me I was a man?" I narrowed my eyes and leaned forward, and sweet Mary, it angered me to see her so calm and unfazed. "I want to know why you did it, Mother. Why would you go so far as to raise your youngest son as a woman for twenty years? What would you even gain by doing that? I mean, how could you have known that William would accept my malehood and not try us for treason?"

I hated the little smirk that twitched on Mother's lips, as if all of this was causing her some sick amusement. And after a moment, she leaned forward, raising those thin, dark brows of hers. "I'm sure William or Henry has told you this, but long before Henry married Beth, he and I were lovers. I was seventeen at the time, and we were so in love that there was nothing in the world that could tear us apart. Goodness, I thought he was going to propose to me at one point. But no, leave it to that whore Elizabeth to steal him away from me."

"What does that even have to do with why you raised me as a woman and lied to me my entire life?" I demanded with a frown, causing Mother to roll her eyes and sit back.

"After Henry married that wretched woman, he told me that our children could be betrothed after Elizabeth conceived the heir to England. Do you know that she had nine miscarriages before William was even born? It took them years before they were even able to come to term with one of their babies, and by that point, I was pregnant with your brother, Maddox. Once I knew they were having a boy, I hoped and prayed that I would have a daughter to wed him, but as soon as I saw that Maddox was male, I tried for another child."

She rested her head on her hand and gestured to me. "After I had you, I knew it would be no use to try again, for I felt like I was cursed to birth nothing but males."

"So you raised me as a girl," I muttered, looking away from her as I wrapped my arms around myself, Mother pulling out of her head to stare intently at me.

"I had to. I could never know the life of royalty if I couldn't even do something as simple as producing a wife for the future King of England."

I stared at her for a moment, realizing just how selfish she was to manipulate her own child for nothing more than status. Sweet Mary, what sane woman would even think to do that to her own child? "How did you know William would accept me? For all you know, he could have been angry, disgusted even, when he found out his wife wasn't even a woman. You could have signed the death warrant for the entire Rosethorn family."

Of course, leave it to Mother to wave her hand in the air dismissively as if my "what if's" couldn't have possibly ever happened. "I've heard rumors about William, how he craves the sweet touches of other men. I heard he's even bedded his own guard on more than one occasion." Her nose twitched in disgust, and for some reason, my chest grew tight. "As disgusting as such a thing is, I knew Henry would force him to marry eventually. And with a secret as massive as his, I doubt he would risk exposing himself by turning you in." Her eyes narrowed even further, and I had a feeling I knew what she was about to ask. "You haven't lain with him, have you?"

I don't know why, but for a split second I panicked, not wanting to tell her the truth in fear of what she would think of me. But after a moment, I realized there was nothing she could do to me even if I did tell her the truth. What was the most she could do, anyway? Turn me in? I had William to back me up, and she would only be hurting herself, considering she was the mastermind behind such a plan. So she couldn't do anything, and at this point, I could care less about her opinion of me. I had people who loved me and cherished me, so I didn't need her approval. I couldn't even begin to describe the sheer humiliation she had me go through when I finally learned that massive fact about myself. And that's not even including the fact that I now had to live out the rest of my days hiding who I truly was.

So you know what? Who even cares what that deranged woman thinks of me?

I straightened my posture and stared into Mother's eyes, feeling quite smug as I answered her as truthfully as I could. "I have lain with him. Multiple times in a multitude of different, sinful positions and places. Oh, and I've even lain with his guard as well, at the same time as William, both of them pleasuring to absolute completion." I felt pride swell within me at her horrified expression, my confidence growing as I stood up and placed my palms against the table, leaning further in. "You should try it sometime, Mother. I assure you, it is quite an experience. Now tell me why you're here. You have an agenda. I wish to know what it is."

"H-How dare you talk to me with such filthy words! I never raised you to be such a whore-"

"Mother, you are speaking to the future Queen of England. It would do you best to show me some respect in how you address me."

Mother pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest, her expression shocked. Honestly I wanted to laugh, to rub my disobedience right in her wizened little face. But I was a mature adult, so I bit my tongue for now. To think, the quiet, obedient child finally standing up to the wicked witch in the closet. It honestly wasn't a surprise to see her so flabbergasted.

Finally, she huffed and averted her gaze, her lips pursed tightly. "Henry is no doubt expecting news of an heir sooner than later, and of course, you cannot conceive one. Obviously, you cannot just yank a newborn off of the streets and convince the royal court that the child is yours."

Was she...seriously about to suggest what I think she was going to suggest?

"I shall be the one to produce an heir for the throne. I am rather fertile, as you know, and the child would have the Rosethorn blood-"

"No." I said simply, watching her mouth snap closed as she glared at me. "You are not laying with my husband."

"I just need his seed, Melani. You need to produce an heir soon, else people will begin to question whether or not you're infertile. You need to be smart about this-"

"I said no, Mother." I pushed away from the table and crossed my arms over my chest, feeling grossed out at the thought of Mother having William's child. Like...how disturbing of a thought was that? "I don't understand why you feel the need to ruin my life further, and further when I have done nothing to you but be born. You lied to me my entire life, all so you could live the life of royalty. You used me to get you way, and Mother? I refuse to be your pawn."

"You are being unwise, Melani," Mother practically growled as she stood up, the woman fuming as she stared hatefully towards me. "In order to keep England going, an heir must be produced-"

"And one will be, just not by you." I interrupted her, feeling rather done with this dreadful conversation. "Now Mother, I'd like for you to take what I say next, very seriously. I do not want to ever see you again. If, God forbid, His Highness ever invites you here, do not attempt to look at me or even speak to me. I have had enough of your lies and falsities, and I do not care for any more." I lifted my head and tried to look as if I were looking down on her. "Goodbye, Mother."

I turned and began walking away from her, ignoring all her angry demands for me to come back to her. But I was honestly done with her and her lies, and I meant every word I said to her. I never wanted to see her again. I was done being reminded that I was living a lie, my secret only for a few select to know. My true identity was to be hidden in the shadows, even long after my time, all because of Mother's selfish interests.

But at least now I knew why she did what she did, what her reasoning for such a cruel thing was. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, and sweet Mary I felt so proud of myself for telling that woman off. It was about time I stood up for myself, considering my whole life I had been hiding in the confines of her shadow.

I was free. No longer shackled in her cruel, cold grasp. I could truly be happy now, with the men that I loved.