17

Any time he has come close to touching me, I've moved away. The only thing I want from him is to be let out.

"This is kidnapping. I'm 17, and I'm not willingly staying in your apartment. I could call the police and have you arrested. I could call Joshua and have you killed."

He opened his eyes and stared up at me. "Go do that instead of bothering me."

"So now I'm bothering you?"

He closed his eyes again, "Mhm."

I felt trapped and frustrated. "I wouldn't be if you didn't lock me in here."

"I didn't lock you in here."

"I beg to differ."

"Get on your knees before you do."

I groaned and walked over to the chair. I sat down and crossed my arms. I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling. "I'm in hell."

He sighed as he got up off the couch. "Not even close."

I lifted my head and looked at him. "You wouldn't know. Oh wait, yes, you would because that's where you crawled out of."

The smile on his face only made my anger grow. "The sooner you realize this is the best place for you to be right now, the sooner you'll start to enjoy yourself." He waited for my response. "What?"

I put my hands on the chair. "Sorry, I was waiting for the punchline because there's no way that's not a joke." I sat up straight.

He laughed softly and walked closer. "The only reason you're pissed off is because I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear."

"Mm, I actually don't want to hear anything from you."

He tilted his head, "Is that so?"

I stood up and stepped closer. "The only thing I want from you is to let me out. Once you do that, we don't need to be around each other ever again. Our problems will be solved."

The grin on his face persisted. His eyes moved to my lips. "I'm really enjoying this. Do you wanna know why?"

"Not really."

"It's because I know you want me." He looked into my eyes. "You just don't want to. So you're punishing yourself by hating me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I started to walk away from him.

"You're not denying it."

I stopped immediately. He thinks he won. I turned to face him. "What?"

He walked toward me. "Admit that you want me." He stopped a foot from me.

I stared up at me. "Then I'd be lying, and I'm not a liar."

He shifted closer, leaving me no room to keep lying. "We're all liars, Evelyn. Some are just better at it."

My eyes betrayed me, looking at his lips. I looked to the floor. His fingers tipped my chin up, making me look at him. He leaned down. His lips ghosted over mine, and my eyes fell shut as I tensed up.

"I told you so."

I opened my eyes and knocked his hand away from me. I kept my hand up and pointed at him, "I can't stand you."

The smile on his face tempted my anger. "You're welcome to sit instead."

I opened my mouth to speak as I narrowed my eyes at him. I put my arms back to my side as I stormed off toward the bedroom.

"Come on, Evelyn. It's been weeks."

I pushed the door shut behind me. I stopped in the middle of the room as he walked in. I turned to face him. "Do you seriously think making me mad is helping you?"

He took a few steps closer. "I think I like seeing you all hot and bothered. Angry sex is so much better."

"You're not serious?!"

He crossed his arms. "About which part?"

I furrowed my brows as I lifted my hands. "You've completely lost it if you think this is ending in sex!"

"Go ahead and call me crazy."

I covered my face and groaned.

"I don't get why you're so pissed at me anyway."

I put my arms at my sides. "Of course you don't! You only listen to me when I tell you I want to sleep with you."

"That was our agreement. You wanted rules, so we made them. This is strictly sex."

"Obviously not, or you wouldn't have locked me in here to keep me safe."

He sighed and looked to the side. "Evelyn..."

I took a step closer. "Stop lying and tell me the truth. Stop making excuses and tell me what you want."

He looked at me. "No. This is what I want. I only want what we already have."

I tilted my head, "You're really starting to piss me off."

"If you want a different answer, you're not going to find it. This is all there is, babe."

I wanted to give up and stop repeating the argument. "Kai..."

Loud knocking on the door rattled my senses and pulled our attention from one another. He made his way to the front door. I stopped at the end of the hallway and crossed my arms, sighing in relief that we didn't have to talk anymore.

Kai pulled the door open.

"Where is she?"

"Who are you talking about," Kai answered.

"Five more seconds, and your head will be separated from your body." Kai stepped back, pulling the door further open. I was met with Damon's eyes, finding mine. He tilted his head, "We have to talk."

"No. We don't."

"We need your help with Caroline."

I uncrossed my arms and took a few steps into the living room. "Just leave her alone. She doesn't want to turn it back on, so she's not going to."

"But if she keeps it off, she's going to keep killing."

I looked at Kai. "Maybe you should give her your body count, and she can match it." I looked at Damon. "Just leave her alone."

He put his hands on the doorframe, "Evelyn, please. We need you."

I tilted my head, "Obviously not, or I wouldn't be in here with a psychopath. Which, by the way, was a dick move."

"I can explain if you just help us."

"Why should I help you?"

He sighed and stepped to the side. My heart beat faster as Stefan stepped over. He stared back at me.

"Do you want me to invite them in?"

I couldn't pull my eyes away from Stefan. This could be a trick. Stefan could've convinced Damon to turn it off. This could all be a big plan to kill me or Kai. But wouldn't Damon have already made Kai let me go so it's easier for him?

"Evelyn."

"No," I answered finally. I looked away from the despair that covered Stefan's face. I turned back around and went to his bedroom. I slammed the door shut behind me.

I sat on the bed and stared at the ground. Imagining what they've said to each other and the plans they've made about me and Caroline alone made my heart ache. Imagining what Stefan did with Caroline while they were together made me sick. I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying. The betrayal I feel at this moment could be used to kill a man.

I watched the shadow of Kai under the door move. He stopped and then moved again. He knocked softly after a minute. He opened the door. I kept staring at the ground. I shifted my gaze to my hands that were resting in my lap.

He sat next to me. "We could..."

"Just be quiet." After a beat, I added, "Please."

"Okay," he whispered.

I closed my eyes, trying to keep my tears from forming. I dug my thumb nail into my palm. Images flashed in my mind. Stefan and Caroline. Damon talking to Kai. The hospital. The funeral. My dad at the Grill. My mom. Finding my mom dead.

"Hey," he pulled my hands apart. "Don't do that."

I inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry."

He was silent. I felt his hand leave mine. He rested his hand at the side of my face, tilting my head to face him. "Open your eyes, baby." After I knew I wouldn't start crying, I opened my eyes. "Why did you do that?"

I didn't know how to answer him. "I thought it would help."

"Help what?"

I didn't answer him. We're not supposed to have deep talks. Casual talks, sure. But asking what I'm thinking and why I did something? Surface level talks are our conversations. Nothing else. And I can't want anything else either. Why do I want more? Even if it is just a conversation, I want it.

I can't have it.

I moved my hands to his face and moved to kiss him. After a short pause, he kissed back. His tongue found its way past my lips after my shirt was over my head and on the floor with the rest of our clothes.

I was lost in the way his hand was still holding mine. I rolled us over, so I was on top. I kept my hand on his. He pushed his tip inside of me, and I moaned. I felt tears brim my eyes as I sunk down on him. I dug my nails into his skin as I struggled to fit him inside of me. I rested my forehead against his to catch my breath.

His other hand found its way to my waist, urging me further down him as he moaned softly. A soft whine slipped past my lips as I forced myself to fit all of him. The tears that streamed down my cheeks hot and racked a sob from my throat.

"Hey," his hand was at the side of my face now, and his body felt closer. "Look at me, pretty girl."

My mind raced with violent, horrible thoughts. I brought my gaze to him, staring back into his eyes. His brows were furrowed as he stared at me. His lips were parted. His thumb brushed my cheek as he slid his hand to my neck.

"This is the last thing you need right now."

I moved my hands to his face and leaned down. "No," I whined. I kissed him softly. "This is the only thing I need." I rocked my hips forward, and he moaned.

He grabbed my hands, pulling them away from his face. "You're obviously having some sort of breakdown, and it's screwing with your head."

I shook my head as more tears fell. I twisted my hands in his, pulling his hands to my waist. "No. I just... I need you."

He looked away from my face as he gripped my waist. I fought against him as he pulled me off of him. To stop my flailing arms, he pinned my hands above my head. His chest was pressed to mine, and his face was inches from mine. The weight of him against me soothed my racing heart. My breathing became less erratic.

His eyes followed the tear that ran down the side of my face. I pressed my lips together as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Let me go." My voice was barely audible.

"I'm going to. Then you're going to leave and"

"No. I can't."

"You need to. It's..." He struggled to get out his next few words, "This is what your mom would want."

My breath caught in my throat. "You're using her against me?" I didn't mean it to come out as a question. But grasping who he is lately has been difficult; one minute, he cares about me, and the next, he's just a psychotic murderer.

His eyes shut for a split second. Once his eyes found mine again, something was different. "You need to leave before I give you what you want."

The next few minutes were hazy. He was gone. I was dressed. I was staring at his apartment door.

The thought of how I would get home was loud. I breathed in shakily.

I don't want to go home. Where something could happen again. I could still feel the imprint of the man's hands. My senses blurred together.

Nothing seemed real.

...

The touch of a wrinkled, bony hand reached for me. Her face was horrifyingly misshapen, and her eyes were melting. The distance between us shortened as she slithered to the floor. The sound of her bones cracking made inaudible screams escape my throat.

She piled herself into something alienated and unreal. There was a sickness that spread through my body as she inched her way closer. I was paralyzed with fear as my mother became my worst nightmare.

"Evvy, baby!" Her voice was deeper and monotonous. Yet still terrifying.

I gasped for air as I woke myself. I clutched the blanket to my body as I looked around for something other than dark loneliness. I was met with what I dreaded: a quiet and empty home.

I breathed out shakily. Nothing could make me get her melting eyeballs out of my memory. I haven't been scared of the dark since I was 7, but this doesn't feel like just darkness anymore. It's chilling and sinister.

I grabbed my phone and started to call Stefan. I stopped myself. I'm not supposed to think about him. I'm not supposed to want him.

He lied to me. Everyone did. In the span of three months I've lost my mom, I've ruined my relationship with almost everyone, I got myself into a sex deal with a murderer, I almost got my best friend killed, and I'm alone now. How does that happen so easily? How did I let it happen?

As my mind spiraled, I spiraled into the bathroom. I locked the door. I backed myself into the shower and closed my eyes. I covered my face with my hands and tried to stop my mind from leaving my sanity.

The next thing I felt was a razor blade in my hand. Tears stained my cheeks.

I exhaled shakily.

What are you doing?

I dropped the blade and took a step back.

This isn't my life anymore, and I won't go back to it.

I made my way out of the bathroom. I crossed my arms over my stomach and sat on the bed. I stared at the ground.

I'm alone and I need to deal with it. I can deal with it. I'm strong, and I can get through it. I think.

...

I stared at the sidewalk as I walked up to my front door. I looked up. I stopped seeing Stefan sitting on the steps of my front porch. I looked at the porch swing to see Damon.

I couldn't have avoided them forever, I know that. Five days is a lot for us, though.

They both rose to their feet. I wanted to turn back around and leave.

"Did you forget how phones work?" Damon was the first to speak.

I took a few steps closer, "It's off."

"Why?"

I crossed my arms. "To avoid this."

"It's your sister, Evelyn."

I looked down at the ground for a moment. "I know that." I looked up. "But I can't control what she does."

"No, but you can help us bring her back," Stefan offered. "She's just doing this so she doesn't have to grieve."

I furrowed my brows, "So you're willing to do what's best for Caroline, but when I said that feeding my mom blood wasn't the best for her -"

"That wasn't..." He sighed.

"We couldn't stop her," Damon answered for him.

"You didn't want to!"

"Evelyn, we need to bring her back, and you're going to help us."

I stared at Damon. "No. I'm not. I've said that countless times already. I'm not helping either of you."

"Yes, you are." The voice from behind me startled me. I turned my head to see Kai.

I looked at them again. "Why is he here?"

"We took your advice and trusted him. He's willing to do what's best for Caroline," Damon answered.

The anger that surged through me by just being around him was frustrating. "So why do you need me?"

"Because you're the one who can bring her back," Kai answered flatly.

"I wasn't asking you," I looked at him.

He returned my stare. "I answered anyway."

"You're the only person who she'll listen to, Evelyn."

I looked at Stefan. "Why don't you just sleep with her again?"

His expression shifted. "Evelyn..."

I uncrossed my arms. "I'm not helping any of you. Especially not Caroline."

"Why are you being such a bitch?" Kai's harsh tone drew my attention to him. "They know what they're doing; they've had to deal with situations like this their entire lives. Get over yourself and help us save your sister."

If only I had a gun in my hand. His ability to say something like that with no remorse is still intact and it's starting to give me a headache. This town is starting to give me a headache. "What's your plan," I looked at Damon and Stefan.

"We make her think we're going to kill you," Stefan answered.

I scoffed. "You're not serious. You think it's in Caroline's best interest to have my life threatened?"

"Yes," Damon answered flatly.

The serious tone of the conversation made my brain fuzzy.

"You're the last thing she has. Threatening to take that away should bring something out of her."

"What happens if she doesn't turn it back on?" I glanced at Kai then looked at the Salvatores. "One of you actually does kill me?"

"Precisely," Damon answered as he walked closer.

"Speaking of," Kai chimed. He grabbed my arm and turned my body to face him. He grabbed my upper arms and held me close to him. I stared at him, silently questioning what he's doing. "Goodnight, Evelyn."

I opened my mouth to speak but my brain had stopped functioning. My vision collapsed as my body did.