18

Kai held my arm tighter as we walked further. My hands were bound together behind my back with rope. He had a knife in his other hand.

I wanted to break away from him and jump off the edge of the quarry and into the lake. But his hold was bruising my arm. He pulled me closer and stepped in front of me. My breathing was heavy as my heart pounded.

The cold look in his eyes made my knees weak. It sparked a fear in my mind that I hadn't felt around him in a long time. His eyes flicked to my lips before boring into my eyes.

"Try to run and see how fast a bullet goes through your head."

"Why not just go ahead and get it over with?" I tilted my head. "It'd be much less of a headache."

He lifted his brows for a split second. He stepped closer, leaving an inch of space between our bodies. He lowered his voice to a whisper, "You think I'm kidding?"

"No. But I know you won't. Who else will sleep with you?"

I felt the blade of the knife press against my throat as he leaned closer. "I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want this pretty throat of yours to be cut open."

"You're bluffing."

He tilted his head, "Am I?"

I twisted my wrist to try and relieve some of the tension in my body. "You wouldn't cut me. You know what it would mean for you." He trailed the tip of the knife down my body. I continued, "You know it would change everything about our relationship because you'll turn out to be the person everyone thinks you are." My breathing was shallow as the tip of the knife stopped at my stomach.

"Maybe you should've listened to them."

I opened my mouth to speak but instead was robbed of the air in my lungs as he shoved the knife into my stomach. I felt tears well in my eyes from the pain. My hope for him drained from my body along with the blood that spilled out of me as he ripped the knife out of me. I was too stunned to yell for help.

"Maybe..." He moved his hand from my arm to my waist, keeping me upright as I started to fall forward into him. "You should take things for what they are." He moved the knife to my chin, tipping my head up. I swallowed. He moved the blade of the knife to my throat and applied pressure, making me whine.

"Stop!" Caroline's shrill voice pulled Kai's gaze from the knife he was threatening my life with. "Hurt her again, and you'll be dead before she hits the ground!"

Kai laughed softly. "You expect me to believe you? I know you turned it off. She doesn't mean a single thing to you."

There was a pause. "She's... She's all I have left." Her voice wavered. "Let her go."

Kai pulled the knife away from my throat. He pulled me against him, making me face Caroline. He held his arm across my chest and put his hand over the stab wound, making me yell out.

Caroline's chin wobbled as her head tilted to the side. She was frozen. I could see the tears in her eyes. Her hands were shaking as she raised them. She formed fists before biting down on her bottom lip. I was starting to get lightheaded.

I heard her giggle. Her body relaxed, and her expression smoothed out. She looked around for a second and then looked at us again.  She laughed.

Laughed.

The sound echoed in my mind, making me feel uneasy.

"It was a nice attempt." She took a few steps closer.

I blinked, but it took longer than it should've to open my eyes. "Caroline -"

"Did you really expect me to believe you would actually kill her? That this wasn't a setup?"

"You think I won't kill her?"

She smiled. "I know you won't. You're trying to redeem yourself, and like she said before, who would sleep with you?" I struggled to keep the tears in my eyes. "You won't kill her."

Kai moved the point of the knife closer to my heart. "Really?"

Caroline's expression slipped for a second before she became unbothered. "If she dies, you die. Stefan and Damon will snap your neck."

I gasped for air as he stabbed the knife into me. It pressed against my lung, making it hard for me to breathe. I couldn't suppress the yell that escaped my throat.

"An inch higher, and she'll choke on her own blood."

Her brows furrowed. "You're bluffing."

"Or I could throw her over the edge, and you can watch her fight for her life. Dealer's choice."

She didn't respond. I felt the knife twist inside me. I felt tears roll down my cheek as a sob broke from my throat. "Stop."

I felt the knife yanked out of me.

In a blink, I was falling from the edge. I gasped for air before breaching the surface of the lake. The freezing water overstimulated my senses. I gasped again, only for my lungs to be filled with water. I struggled against the rope around my wrists. I kicked aimlessly.

My throat and nose burned from the water. My body was weak. Then limp Everything went dark.

...

I coughed up the water in my lungs, rolling to my side. I gasped for air. Tears burned my eyes. I heard sighs and a cry. I laid back and breathed out. I opened my eyes and looked up at Kai. He was soaked, and water was dripping from his hair. He was breathing heavily.

He saved me.

I assume someone fed me their blood because I'm not bleeding, and I feel a little better. "You're a dick."

He sighed as a small smile spread across his mouth. "You're welcome."

I closed my eyes as I caught my breath.

I could hear Caroline crying softly. Then Stefan spoke softly to her.

"You okay, kid?"

I opened my eyes and looked at Damon as he sat down next to me. "I'm alive."

He blew out a breath of air. "Good."

I put my hands on the ground and pushed myself to sit up. I closed my eyes, waiting for the ache in my stomach to go away. I could hear Caroline still crying. I opened my eyes and looked at Damon. "Can you take her home with you? I don't think..." I took a breath. "I can't be around them."

He stared at me for a moment. "Yeah." He seemed unsure of his answer. He glanced over at them before looking at me again. "What about you?"

"I can take her," Kai answered.

Damon looked at Kai. He stared for a second longer than I assumed he would. He looked at me. "I'll check on you later."

I nodded. He rested his hand on my shoulder for a moment before leaving me with Kai. The three of them left us at the edge of the lake. After a few moments, I heard the car start and then drive off.

"That's hard, right? Seeing them together?"

I looked at him. "You don't have to talk."

"I was just wondering." He pushed off the ground and stood up. He offered his hand out to me. "Let me take you home."

I looked at his hand. He tried to kill me. He said he didn't care. He doesn't care. But he saved me. He didn't have to do that. He could've left and been done with this. There were two people who would've saved me. Why did he save me?

I put my hand in his, and he pulled me up. I winced and pressed my hand to my body.

"We healed you."

I looked at his face. "I still got stabbed. Twice."

He nodded once. "Right. Sorry."

Questions filled my mind the longer I thought about our situation. I pulled my hand from his after realizing he was still holding my hand. I turned and started walking. He followed me. The air was cool and made it difficult for me not to shiver. I walked slowly, as moving too fast or too much made my body hurt.

"I could carry -"

"No," I answered swiftly. "I'm fine."

"You're obviously lying, but whatever."

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. Breathing was also painful.

"Let me help you."

"No."

He grabbed my arm, "Hey." He pulled me to face him, and I froze. "Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because you don't want to."

He furrowed his brows, "Then why did I ask?"

"To screw with my head like you have been."

He dropped his hand. "I haven't been screwing with your head."

I tilted my head, "Really? Because we haven't been able to have a single conversation for weeks without you switching up halfway through. You told me you were protecting me because you cared about me, and then you told me you didn't care about me. You want to be able to talk to me, and then you say it's just about sex! Then you used my mom as an excuse not to have sex with me. You called me a bitch because I didn't want to help Stefan and Damon!"

He seemed further from me. "I was trying to help you- to help us. This isn't easy for me, Evelyn." He glanced behind me for a second before looking at me again. "I can't... explain everything how I want to or when I need to. I know this is confusing for you, but I can't even navigate my own mind right now. Everything's fucked up and it has been for months."

There was a pang in my heart. I felt like the world paused. There was hurt in his eyes, and it made me feel sick. I hadn't taken a minute to consider how challenging it must be for him to have to handle all of the emotions he wasn't able to express or feel properly. Now he's had to do it alone because of the rules I set. Sure, there were lines that could be crossed. But the lines have always been blurred when it comes to the topic of conversation.

He looked to the side. "It's getting late." He looked at me. "I should get you home."

He started walking and I followed him after a beat. I didn't even get a chance to speak.

We got in the car, and he started driving after a few minutes. I reached for the handle of the car door. The lock clicked. I sighed and pulled my hand back to my lap. I looked out the windshield.

"I didn't mean it."

I looked at him, "Which part?"

"All of it." His face was void of emotion. "Everything I said."

"At the quarry?"

His eyes poured into mine as his thoughts poured out of his mouth. "I've been alone for the past twenty years. I'm fucked up, and there's nothing that can undo the damage that's been done. Sometimes I feel like I need to go back to the prison world, and sometimes I just... I think of you." He swallowed.

I shook my head once, "I don't understand."

He sighed and looked away from me. He mumbled under his breath. He looked at me again. "I think of you. When I'm not thinking about how fucked up, I am, I'm thinking about you." He shook his head, "I didn't do that before the merge, and I've never thought of anyone the way I've thought of you before."

"Oh..." I inhaled shakily. "You think of me," I whispered.

"You were dying earlier and I... I felt like if you had died then-"

"Stop talking." I pushed the seat to sit up straighter. I turned my body to face him. "You're not allowed to feel those things. Not for me and not now. I have to leave in three days to go back to campus. In that week, I have to fix things that I broke. I have to get my life back in order. My life didn't include a homicidal maniac, and I don't want it to. Maybe... if I come back, you can be in my life. Until then you need to get your shit together and try to be different."

He stared at me; his brows furrowed. "Do they know?"

"That I'm leaving?" I shook my head. "They'll convince me to stay, and I need to get out of this town before I go crazy." I sat back in my seat and stared at the glovebox. I let it get quiet. "Caroline's not here."

A few seconds passed and he turned the car off and unlocked the doors. "Are you sure? You almost died not even two hours ago."

I reached for the handle and looked at him. "I'll be inside."

I felt his eyes on me as I got out. I started walking toward the house. A sharp pain shot through my side. I reached the steps when I felt him grab my waist and turn me to face him. He cupped my face in his hands and pulled me to kiss him as he moved closer. I put my hands on his shoulders. He walked me backwards toward the front door.

Once we were inside, he pulled away. I gasped for air and my lungs filled with pain. I put my hand against my chest.

He turned to me from locking the door. "What's wrong?"

I dropped my hand and moved closer. "Your clothes are still on."

He smiled and grabbed my waist, pulling me against him. He started kissing me as he walked me toward the stairs. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I kept my lips firmly locked with his as he walked us to my room.

I set my feet on the ground, and he was pulling my shirt over my head. The next ten minutes was a blur of clothes finding their way from our bodies to the floor. He was laying on top of me now, his warm body pressed firmly against mine. His hand rested at the side of my face as he kissed his way down my neck.

He put his hand on my leg and pulled it up his side. I wrapped my hand around his cock. His lips paused against my neck as he breathed out shakily. I pumped him a few times before guiding his tip to my entrance. He moved his hand from the side of my face to the bed. I moved my hand to his stomach. He lifted his head and watched himself as he slid into me. Our moans blended together, filling the silence in the room. He pushed into me further, pulling a gasp from my lips.

"You feel so good." His voice was low and sultry.

I hummed in response, too focused on how deep he was to respond with words. Every time he's inside of me, it feels like he reaches a new point. And it never fails to feel like I'm on the cusp of death and cumming simultaneously.

His stillness was making me antsy and annoyed. "Kai, please move."

He looked into my eyes. "Does it hurt?"

I furrowed my brows, "A little."

He smiled. "Good."

"Kai."

He put his hand over my mouth. "Shh."

After another torturous minute, he pulled out of me. He watched himself as he fucked me slowly. My moans and screams were muffled against his hand. I dug my nails into the skin of his wrist. I kept my other hand against his body. He angled his thrusts differently and his lower stomach rubbed against my clit. My eyes fell shut.

My back arched, lifting off the mattress as he pushed in and out of me. His hand moved to the side of my neck. I gasped for air. I squirmed beneath him, chasing after my orgasm. He pushed deep inside of me, making me whine. He grabbed my waist and held onto me tightly as he pulled out slowly then thrusted into me with finality. The feeling of his cum shooting inside of me set off my orgasm.

A few minutes passed before he moved even an inch. He pushed off of me. I held my breath as he pulled out of me. I breathed out slowly, relief filling my body. He laid down next to me, then pulled the blanket over us. I rolled toward him, laying my arm across his body and hugging him close to me. I could feel his hesitance as he pressed his hand against my back. His other hand rested against my arm.

The warmth of his body flooded my senses. The tips of his fingers rubbed up and down my side. This is new for us, but it isn't necessarily bad. It's just more.

"You said if."

It took a minute for me to realize what he was talking about. "Mystic Falls isn't the best thing for me. I might visit, but I don't think I'll stay."

"You've been here for a few months and you're still here. How could it be so bad if you haven't left yet?"

I felt my heart sink. "I hadn't reached the point where I felt like I couldn't stay until a week ago."

He let a few seconds pass. "What happened?"

I raised up, leaning over and kissing him. I pulled back and stared at him. "Do you remember what I told you the first time we stayed up talking? When you told me about the prison world, and I told you about what happened to me before I left?"

"It's pretty hard to forget." His hand was flat against my back as he gave me his full attention. "Did that... What did you do?" There was a hint of fear in his voice.

"I was alone, and I really felt alone. Like I had no one. Because I really didn't have anyone. I started to call Stefan before I realized that he was probably asleep. I... I almost cut myself."

"You didn't though, right?"

I shook my head once as I took a breath. "I'm not that person anymore. I don't want to be that person anymore."

He wrapped his hand around my wrist. "I understand."

"I can't stay. I would leave right now if I could, but I can't leave without telling them goodbye."

"They don't deserve a goodbye. Your sister's sleeping with the guy you've liked for the past four years, Damon's a dick and really only cares about himself-"

"As much as I want to agree with you, I can't. They're all I have. They're my family."

"I can kill them if you want."

"Really? That would actually be terrific. Does next Tuesday work?"

He smiled. "I actually have plans next Tuesday."

"Plans?"

"Mhm. I'm stalking this girl that I'm sleeping with."

I smiled. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

He hummed. "I've done much, much worse. If I haven't been caught by now..."

I laughed softly. I pulled my hand from his. "I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything?" I pushed myself to sit up.

His eyes flashed to my chest before moving back to my face. "I think I'll just come with you."

I moved off the bed and pulled on my panties. "You just want sex." I grabbed a shirt and pulled it on, only to realize it's his.

"Yes, and what better place than the kitchen?" I started to pull the shirt off and he grabbed my hands, pinning them to my body. "No, no. You look sexier with it on."

I looked into his eyes and moved my hands to his face. "I'll be back." I pecked his lips with mine. "You sure you don't want anything."

"Mhm. Just hurry."

I smiled and looked at his lips. "My only goal."

He smiled. I made my way out of the room, going to the kitchen. I grabbed a cup and filled it with water. I took a drink. I heard footsteps in the hallway. I turned around. I furrowed my brows. "Kai?"

There was shuffling of footsteps then silence. I looked at the counter as I sat the cup down. I looked at the door as I walked toward it slowly. I sighed a breath of relief as he walked through the door.

He looked confused. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"You scared the hell out of me." I walked back to the counter. "I thought you were staying in my room."

I felt his hands on my hips as he pressed into me. "I wanted you." I felt his lips on my neck.

I put my hands on his. "I was almost done."

He hummed against my skin, "So am I." I laughed as I pulled away. I turned to face him. His hands found my hips again and pulled me against him, "Can we go back to bed now?"

I snaked my arms around his neck. "Depends," I tilted my head, "Will you let me sleep?"

He pushed the shirt up as he slid his hands up, then back down my sides. "Doubtful." He leaned down, his lips hovering over mine. "Very doubtful."

I slid my fingers into his hair and angled my head so it's easier to kiss him. "Reconsider before I kick you out."

A soft whine left his lips. I pulled away from him. He followed me up to my room. He shut the door. I sat down and grabbed my phone. Kai moved to the other side of the bed and sat down. As I checked the message from Ryan, Kai put his hand up my shirt as he kissed my neck.

I grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "Lay down, pervert."

He groaned and pulled away from me. He laid down. His hand rested on my hip; he massaged his thumb gently into my skin.

Ryan:

Hey, Ev. In case anything happens, I need you to know that I love you and it's been great knowing you.

I felt sick to my stomach. The message is from three hours ago.

Me:

What happened? Are you okay?

I waited for a response.

"What's wrong?"

My chest felt tight. "I don't know." I pressed call and put the phone to my ear. I let it ring until it stopped. I pulled the phone away from my face. I called again. It rang for a minute before there was an answer.

"Evelyn."

Damon's voice made me feel uneasy. "Why are you answering his phone?"

"Because it was ringing and he's not in the room right now."

"Where is he?"

His voice filled the phone, but it was gibberish. "Yeah."

I furrowed my brows, "Where are you?"

"Home. Hey! You should come over. We're having a party because Caroline's back. She wanted to invite you, but Stefan said you were stabbed too much, and you wouldn't want to come. But I think you should come. It's really fun. Bonnie's here, Elena's here, and your best friend, Ryan, is here too."

"Yes, I got that, but why is Ryan there, and why did he send me that message?"

He laughed. "Good night, Vale."

"Damon-" Before I could get my thoughts out, he ended the call. I pulled the phone away from my face. I tossed my phone on the bed as I got up. I pulled his shirt off and walked to the rest of my clothes.

"You're going over there?"

I finished putting on my bra before walking to my closet. "Ryan's not supposed to be in town. We compelled him to leave town. Damon bringing him back is the dumbest thing he's ever done. And Ryan listening to Damon..." I buttoned the jeans then grabbed a shirt before walking back into the bedroom. "I'll be back in a few hours. You should go home." I flipped my hair out of the shirt and grabbed my phone.

"Why don't I just go with you? I can help you bring him back here." He was standing a few inches from me now.

I shook my head as I put my phone in my back pocket. "They're all drunk and they'll ask why we're together. Stefan and Ryan both know about us so they'll probably say something if they haven't already."

"Right. Just let me drive you. I'll stay in the car."

I stared at him, wanting to say yes. Why do I want to say yes? I put my hand at the side of his face and stepped closer. I kissed him softly. He started to kiss back as I pulled away. "Go home. I'll talk to you before I leave."

He furrowed his brows, "Evelyn, please."

I stared at him for a minute. "I'll be in the car."

"Thank you."

...

I walked into the boarding house. I pushed the door shut then turned to the living room. I stopped in the middle of the foyer. Stefan and Caroline were laughing with each other, leaning into each other as they did so. Damon and Ryan were laughing on the opposite couch next to Bonnie and Elena. Enzo and Ric were by the fireplace.

Elena's eyes landed on me. She gasped as she jumped up. She ran over to me, "Evelyn!" She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "You came!" Her voice was shrill and smelled like vodka.

I patted her arms before forcing her away from me. "I'm just here to-"

"You need a drink," she gasped at the realization. She started to drag me into the living room.

I pulled myself from her grip. "No, I don't. I don't want a drink."

"Why not?!" Ryan dragged out. Elena moved to stand beside me. Ryan and Damon helped each other to their feet. They balanced each other out as they struggled to keep themselves upright.

"Because I just came here to take you home." He and Damon looked at each other then started laughing. I furrowed my brows, "Have you lost your mind?"

"Yeah, around the tenth or eleventeenth drink," he looked at me. He got a confused look on his face. "That's a number right."

I looked at Damon. "Why is he here? We compelled him to go away."

"Yeah, well, I missed him."

"Aww-"

I interrupted Ryan, "You don't get to miss him. He's not some toy you can just bring around whenever you want to drink. He doesn't need to be dragged into-"

"Shhh!" Damon put his finger over my mouth.

I slapped his hand away. "I was speaking!"

"It's better when you don't," Ryan responded.

I felt like screaming louder. "I don't know why you would think it's okay to bring him back just because Caroline's not a raging serial killer, and frankly I don't care. What I do care about though is him being safe, and he's not safe here, especially not with you."

They got quiet. They weren't holding each other anymore.

"Lighten up, Ev," Caroline pitched in from her spot. "It's just a little fun."

I looked at her. "I suggest you think twice before talking to me about having fun. You've had your fun. We all had to pick up the pieces after you had fun. It hasn't even been five hours since you were off on a journey trying to avoid the grief that we all have to deal with! You can have fun once you make up for the other fun you had."

"Evelyn, that's a little harsh," Stefan responded.

I laughed, "That's harsh?" I felt like my mind was floating outside of my body. "I just died for her and she's telling me to lighten up and get drunk."

I felt Ryan's hand on my arm, he squeezed gently. "We can go," he whispered.

"We're trying to help you, Evelyn. We want you to be a little happier."

"We?!" I felt tears in my eyes. "You're a 'we' now." I stepped closer. "Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your relationship, you narcissistic, backstabbing-" I felt Ryan grab my upper arms and turn me.

He pulled me toward the door. I pulled away from him. He followed me out of the house. He walked up beside me.

"Evelyn, stop!"

I rolled my eyes at Stefan's voice but stopped reluctantly. I looked at Ryan. "Get in the backseat."

He was hesitant to go. He waved a hand to Stefan then walked to the car. I turned to face him. "What do you want?"

"We have to talk about this."

"No, we don't." I shook my head. "You're with Caroline. That's all."

He grabbed my arm to stop me from turning. He stepped closer. "Let me explain!"

"There's nothing to explain! You're sleeping with her! You have feelings for her! That's all there is!"

"No. She's your sister."

"I'm well aware of that." I pulled my arm from him. "Good night." I started to walk away.

"Fine! Go sleep with the murderer you're in love with! Let's see what happens when our secret gets out, and who really cares about you!"

I stopped and turned to face him. "You said you wouldn't say anything."

"I'm drunk," he shrugged, "I don't know what I'm saying." He stepped closer.

I felt a lump in my throat. "You can't tell them, Stefan."

"Oh, but I can. And I can tell them the reason he wanted to take you home too. How was your fun, by the way?"

I refrained from slapping him. "Go inside and sober up."

He stepped closer. He hummed. "I'd rather not. Not until you accept the fact that I'm with Caroline."

"I have accepted it. It doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about it."

"She lost her mom too, Evelyn. Stop acting like you were the only one affected. You're only pissed off because she's sleeping with me."

"I'm pissed off because she gets everything she wants and everything I want. She does things and her consequences are pushed away. She gets excused for murder, and I get lectured for having a bad attitude. If I were the one who turned it off, I would've been locked in a room for a week after turning it back on."

He tilted his head, "You're ruining everyone's buzz. You need to lighten up."

I opened my mouth to speak but stopped. "You're drunk. Go sleep it off."

"Mhm. Have fun with your secret while it's still a secret."

"Go to hell."

"I'll meet you there." He walked back toward the house.

I walked to the car and got in.

"What the hell was that about?"

"Just drive," I snapped.

I felt guilty for snapping at him. I looked at Kai. He was staring at the steering wheel as he started driving. I bit my tongue to keep my words from spilling out. I leaned back in the seat and stared out my window.

...

After I made sure Ryan was asleep on the couch, I made my way to my room. Kai was at the end of my bed, laid back. He didn't move as I shut the door. I kicked off my shoes. I put my phone on the nightstand before taking off my jeans. I walked over and sat on the bed. I lifted his head and sat it in my lap.

He opened his eyes and stared up at me. "Do you want me to go?"

I massaged my fingers into his scalp. "I don't know. Do you want to go?"

He hummed in response. "That feels nice."

"Does it?"

He stared at me, his eyelids drooping. "Are you going to talk about what happened? Or we can just ignore it until tomorrow."

"Do you want to listen?"

"Why would I ask if I don't want to listen?"

"To be a dick."

"It's been a long day; I don't have enough energy to be a dick."

"Okay." I moved my hands to the sides of his face. "I went inside, and they were all having a good time. Caroline and Stefan were leaning into each other, and it really pissed me off. Damon started being Damon, and he's even worse when he's around Ryan. I was trying to get Ryan to leave with me, but he was way past drunk. Caroline told me to have fun and lighten up. Stefan agreed with her. I started yelling, and Ryan had to drag me out."

His eyes were open, and he was staring up at me. "What did Stefan say to you outside?"

I shook my head once as I remembered. "He was trying to explain their relationship, which was pointless. I know what it is, and I know how it happened. He brought you into and tried to use our relationship against me. Long story short, he's telling everyone right now because he's pissed off."

He reached for my hand. "You have really horrible taste in men."

I laughed and looked at his hand. "I know."

He sat up and turned to face me. I looked at his face. He stared into my eyes. "You should leave tomorrow. Before anyone has the chance to say anything to you. You don't deserve to be yelled at by the goon squad just because you're sleeping with me. If you really want, I can drive you tonight."

I shook my head, "I can't leave like this. Last time I left town without saying goodbye to someone, I was consumed by guilt. I don't want that. I want to say goodbye to everyone when they're sober. Besides, they'll track me down."

"Evelyn, I don't want them to make you feel-"

"I know." I grabbed his hand. "I know you're worried about me." I slid my fingers between his. "But I've been dealing with these people for my entire life. I know how to talk to them, and how to resolve problems we have. You're completely new territory for them, you and us. If I leave and you're their only outlet for raging about me and you, you'll be six feet under in three hours."

He nodded once. He looked down at our hands. "Right."

I put my hand at the side of his face and leaned closer as I tilted his face up. I kissed him softly. He leaned into it, kissing me back slowly. He squeezed my hand before pulling back from the kiss.

"You should get some sleep," he whispered.

"You're leaving?"

He looked at my lips. "Do you want me to stay?"

I breathed in shakily. "Yes." I was afraid to say it.

"Okay."

I felt warmth spread through my chest. I had only felt it a few times before. But nothing like this. It continued through my entire body.

What the fuck?