67

I stared at the floor of the guest bedroom. Four nights ago was hell in a loaded gun that shot and killed me. I've lost all energy and motivation. The only thing I managed to tell them was to call Liv and tell her I'm here. I've kept myself from telling them why. It's not my place.

The knock on the door pulled me out of my head. After a few seconds, the door opened, and Stefan stepped in.

"Hey, Vale." I heard the door shut then his footsteps. "Can we talk?"

I didn't say anything. All I know is I'm tired of ending up alone and crying about it for days. I pulled myself to sit up and moved to sit back against the headboard. I pulled the pillow against my body and wrapped my arms around it. I stared at my hands as I traced the edges of my nails.

Stefan sat in front of me, keeping space between us. "Why did you stay in town?"

I thought for a minute. "I don't know."

"I do." That pulled my full attention to him. "You graduated from one of the top schools in the country, and you had first pick of whatever life you wanted, yet you chose to come back. Because you thought someone you wanted in your dream life was here. You threw away your chance at a life away from all of this to be with Kai."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I want the best for you, Evelyn. And I'm telling you this because I love you and I want you to be happy." He put his hand on mine. "I think you should go try to find a new life that will get you out of this."

The idea felt bearable somehow. It sounded poetic, actually. Leaving to find a life that wants and accepts me rather than forcing myself into one that can't handle me. "I can't leave Caroline, or the house, or -"

"Caroline and I have talked about it. We'll move into the house and keep everything the same until you're ready to come back to it."

I felt a lump rising in my throat. The thought of getting out felt so freeing. Visions of what I could be doing danced across my mind. I moved the pillow and moved closer, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you."

He hugged me tighter. "I never took it personally."

I closed my eyes as a smile spread across my lips.

-

"What about this? Please take this!" Caroline held out the lamp toward me.

I furrowed my brows as I tilted my head, "No. I told you, I'm packing light. What would I do with a lamp?"

"Um, see?" She grabbed my hand and forced the lamp into it.

I took it from her and tossed it on the unmade, empty bed. "I'm trying to detach, Care. And it's not like I won't be back eventually. I do have family here."

"So you haven't forgotten yet?"

I turned to see Jo and Stefan holding the twins. My heart strings were being pulled to their breaking point. Saying goodbye to everyone made it feel like forever. "I could never forget you."

Caroline walked to take the baby from Jo before she walked to me. I wrapped my arms around Jo and she hugged me back, holding me tightly. "Thank you for everything, Ev."

I closed my eyes to keep my tears back. "I love you, Jo."

She laughed softly. "I love you too."

After a moment, we separated. She grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes, "Don't lose my number."

I laughed. "It'll be the last thing I forget."

She smiled. "I have to go, but I'll see you at the party."

I nodded, smiling. "Wouldn't miss it."

She squeezed my hands before stepping back and turning away. She kissed her babies before walking away. Caroline and Stefan both stepped closer.

"We actually need to head out too," Caroline stated. My eyes drifted to Lizzie. Her soft eyes were focused on me. Her bottom lip was tucked into her mouth and her hand was wrapped tightly around Caroline's thumb. "Will you be okay here for an hour?"

I looked at her face. "Actually, um, I can just meet you guys at the party. That way I can just leave from there and not run into..."

"The K word."

I looked at Stefan. The joke was still running, which turned a smile onto my lips. "The K word." I looked at Caroline. "I'll see you guys later."

They both walked out. I heard the front door shut. I started to finish packing my clothes.

After loading the rest of my things, I made my way back up to my room. I stepped into the, once again, barren room. It only housed a few straggling things that would let Caroline cry over me when she waltzed in here. I gave the room one last look around before flipping off the light. I pulled the door shut and stepped back.

My eyes wandered to my mom's bedroom door. I walked toward it. My hand hovered over the knob before twisting it. I flipped on the light.

Everything was the exact same. I could still feel her warmth. The love she put into everything seeped into me as I slowly stepped into the room. I kept my eyes off the bed for as long as I could, but once I was staring at it, I couldn't stop.

Untouched, messy sheets were greeting my eyes. She didn't like messes, but I've kept it this way for years. I looked at the table beside the bed. I walked over and plugged in the lamp. If it had been plugged in, the bulb would've blown. I looked around one last time, taking in the memories on the wall, the perfume lined up on her dresser, and the drawings Caroline and I made for her as a kid. I looked at the bed again.

"Goodnight, mom." I turned off the lamp and took a few slow steps back.

I turned and walked out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me. I started to walk out of the house, taking my time to leave for what could be the last time.

Whatever's waiting for me is pulling me harder than I want it to, but I think I'm okay with that.

My eyes were pulled to the photos on the wall and the frames that have held them for years. A picture I hadn't noticed before was on the wall. It was the picture Damon and Stefan took of me at my dorm at Harvard the day they told me about Ric and Jo.

I resisted the urge to pull it off the wall and continued my journey out of my home. I pulled the front door shut and locked it behind me. I exhaled slowly as I finished the journey to my car.

I drove to the Grill and parked across the street from it. I felt deja vu clouding my mind, causing me to take a second before getting out.

As I walked closer it became more evident that Caroline respected my wishes of keeping the party small. Only people I know at least five things about.

When I walked through the door, I was greeted by party poppers and glitter, which settled mostly in my hair. I shook it out of my curled hair, raking my fingers through it. I smiled at Caroline, who was making her way over to me. She laughed before throwing her arms around me. I hugged her with just as much joy.

"Something to remember me by."

I laughed as I pulled away. The next person to hug me was Stefan. His hold was firm and loving, reminding me that we don't have to hate each other.

I pulled back and Caroline pulled me to everyone else who was standing around. Alaric wrapped his arms around me, hugging just as tightly as Caroline, "I'm gonna miss you, Evelyn." He pulled back, moving his hands to my shoulders. "Stay safe out there."

I nodded, putting my hands on his arms, "I'll call if I'm not."

"And I'll be there the second I know."

We both smiled before he walked over to the bar, where Matt and Jeremy were talking. I looked back at Caroline as she pulled me with her. She slid into a booth and I sat next to her. Elena and Bonnie sat across from us.

Over the next hour, I had many epiphanies as our conversations were filled with sentiments of how much I mean to them and how they would hate to lose me forever. I ended up hugging them both until we all couldn't breathe.

Damon and Jo showed up with the twins. I ended up holding Lizzie against me. She laid her head against me as her eyes slowly shut. I moved my hand to the back of her head, brushing my fingers through her short curls.

Twenty minutes flew by, making me feel regretful. I started to feel anxious about leaving, like I have unfinished business.

As if I summoned it, Tyler walked through the door. He's been missing for two weeks after what happened with Liv. I glanced over at her. She was sitting with Alaric and Bonnie. Her face was drained of color when her eyes landed on him.

I looked at Caroline, "Take the baby."

She could sense the anger I was feeling. "Evelyn, just take a breath and collect your thoughts. He's not worth-"

"Take her, Caroline."

She reluctantly took Lizzie from me.

I moved out of my seat and started toward the bar. I could hear his conversation with Jeremy and Matt. Liv was standing at the edge of the steps, staring at him as if he was a ghost. I put my hand on her shoulder, "Hey-"

Before I could even think of what to say next, she was running out with her hand over her mouth.

"... I mean, it's not like she said no."

I turned back to Tyler, taking a few steps closer, "What did you just say?"

He kept his calm pose, leaning against the bar. He looked at me as he sighed. "The girl I slept with. She never said no. She was screaming the whole time, though. I'm just that good, I guess."

His words twisted inside me, making me feel nauseous. I wish I had a gun in my hand to shoot a bullet through his head. That wouldn't do enough justice for what he's put that girl and Liv through. "Not saying no doesn't mean yes, and she was screaming because you were assaulting her."

"You weren't there, Evelyn." His tone dropped.

"You're admitting to it, Tyler."

He scoffed as he pushed off the bar, keeping his hand on it. "She wanted to sleep with me."

I took a step closer. "What in your twisted, fucked up mind makes you think that you can force yourself onto a girl, while you're dating someone nonetheless, and convince yourself that you were giving her what she wanted. She was drunk and you were, presumably, being a privileged dick who thinks he can do whatever he wants."

He sighed as he stepped closer, "You're turning this into a feminism thing, or whatever the hell you do. You're the one complicating it and twisting it, Vale. The situation is simple and plain, like your mind. So it should be easy for you to grasp on to." He stopped a foot from me. "That girl that I slept with asked for what she got." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "She was practically begging for me to give her something extra in her drink with the way she was eye fucking me and pulling her shirt..." His eyes moved to my chest, then back up, "down." The smirk that formed on my lips sparked something in me I haven't felt in years. I'm so grateful he's restored that rage into me, though, especially at this moment. "So," he stepped back, "if you wanna punish me for giving girls exactly what they want, having a fucking field day with that."

Girls? Plural?

"Nothing?" He started to turn. "That's what I thought."

Once he was turned fully away from me, I kicked in his knees, forcefully and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to the ground with so much force his knees cracked. He yelled out in pain. I moved my hands to press flat against the sides of his head, squeezing so hard his skull started to crack. His screams were ear piercing, begging for me to continue. I could feel his nails clawing at my hands.

The screams and conversations happening around me were tuned out by my fury and Tyler's screams.

I knelt down and hovered my lips over his ear. "Does the screaming mean you want me to keep going?" I dug my nails into his skin as I pressed harder. "You were practically begging me for this."

I felt like the torture he was enduring wasn't nearly enough, even though his blood was dripping down my hands. The worst thing he could lose is his dick. Luckily, I'm still a witch. I channeled my energy into shriveling his dick to practically nothing, then liquidizing it.

Before I could completely kill him, I was pulled away by Damon. His hands grabbed my wrist and pressed me back against him. I took a minute to get my breathing back to normal before pulling away from him. Damon stepped beside me. Matt was beside Tyler's body, staring down at the unconscious boy.

"You could've killed him," Damon stated.

I looked at him, "He asked for it."

I trend away from him, going to the bathroom. I shut the door before walking to the sink and washing the blood off. I scrubbed until every trace of him was gone. After drying my hands, I took a minute.

I wondered if that was the wrong choice, then I remembered the girls he's hurt. They deserve justice and he deserved punishment.

I walked out of the bathroom and made my way back to the party. Tyler's body was gone, and so was Jeremy and Matt. They took him out.

"Hey."

I looked from the door to Damon, who was walking over to me. "Hey."

He tilted his head, "Nicely done."

I crossed my arms. "Thanks."

He stared at me for a minute. "Are you coming back at any point?"

I nodded, "I would never miss the Damon Salvatore's wedding."

A smile slowly swarmed his lips. "I'm gonna miss you, Vale."

I tilted my head, "I'll miss you too."

He nodded once. "I actually have to go soon, but... I'll see you soon?"

I nodded as I uncrossed my arms. He stepped closer and we surrounded each other with the tightest hug we could manage without completely breaking down together.

"Don't be a stranger, kid."

I felt tears forming in my eyes. "I won't."

After a minute, he pulled away and walked to the table with Elena, Ric, Jo, the twins, Enzo, and Bonnie. I looked over to see Caroline and Stefan sitting next to each other in a booth. I walked over and sat across from them. It felt familiar. I pressed my hands to the seat of the booth and stared at both of them.

"Where are you going first?"

I shook my head, "I guess I'll figure it out. I have an eternity, right?" They both smiled, Caroline's was accompanied by tears. I reached over and grabbed her hands that were on the table. "You'll see me again, I'm not dying."

She laughed breathily. "Thanks for that image."

I smiled, "No problem." I squeezed her hands before pulling mine away. I looked at Stefan. "Don't let her be sad."

He shook his head, "Wouldn't dream of it."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket after it started ringing. Kai's name made my heart jump.

"Who could that possibly be?"

I looked at Caroline. I heard the door open as Damon and Elena were walking out. I scoffed as I started out of the booth, "Later." I answered the call as I walked out of the Grill.

"You're leaving? Again?"

"Oh, yeah. Some think it's for good, but we can never really know for sure." I crossed the street, continuing my journey to my car. "Why do you care? I thought you didn't want me anymore."

"Of course I want you. If I ever don't, kill me because it's not me."

I rested my hand against my car door. "So I just wasn't enough for you? That's the only reason."

"I'm setting you free, Evelyn."

"Mm. So I can sleep with other people?"

"Hell no. You're mine."

I felt confused. "You're killing me, Malachai."

"Really?"

"Mhm. If you wanted to see me, you'd have to look six feet down."

"But I do see you."

I furrowed my brows. After realizing what he meant, I turned around. He was across the parking lot, leaning back against his car and staring at me. I laughed wryly, "You're such a dick."

He tilted his head. "I thought that's what you loved."

Suddenly, I was aware everyone was watching me. "I feel like this conversation should be private."

I watched the smile spread across his lips. "Fuck private."

The memories of the last time he said it flooded my mind, making my chest feel tight. "You must really hate me." I started walking toward him.

He started toward me. "Oh yeah, you're the worst. I can't imagine what anyone would see in you."

I ended the call and shoved my phone in my pocket. We stopped two feet from each other. "What makes you think you can just show up here after breaking up with me?"

He stared at my lips, "That smile on your face." He looked into my eyes. "And Caroline told me to."

I laughed softly. "You feel threatened by my sister?"

"You don't?"

I shook my head, "She's all talk."

"So are we, apparently."

I tilted my head, "I'm sorry, do you not remember how we started?"

He stepped closer. "Yeah, you wanted like a billion rules, and I wanted to just fuck you."

I lifted my brows, "Really?"

He put his hands on my hips, and I put my hands on his wrists. "Yeah. Fuck buddies. That's all we are."

I nodded, laughing. "You're such a whore."

He smiled as he pulled me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started kissing him slowly. After a few seconds, he pulled back far enough to speak, "What happened to private?"

"Fuck private," I mumbled before I started kissing him again.

His arms wrapped around me, holding me firmly against him. After the moment of lust passed, we stopped kissing and started holding each other. My head was beside his. I shut my eyes tightly, keeping myself from crying.

"I love you, Evelyn. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," I whispered. Anything louder, and I would start sobbing. "I love you, Kai."

I pulled back, moving my hands to his sides. I looked up at him. He moved a hand to the side of my face, strumming my cheekbone softly. His eyes moved slowly across my features, as if to memorize them. His eyes found mine again. "You'll always be my girl."

I breathed in shakily. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. I shut my eyes, letting his touch melt into my skin. I felt him pull away and I opened my eyes again. We pulled away from one another, taking a step back.

I've been kidnapped multiple times, assaulted, tortured, raped, killed, beaten until I couldn't breathe, lost some of the closest people to me, yet this still feels like the worst thing I've ever gone through.

Why is it so hard to follow through with the choice to leave someone?

I have so much to say, but saying it would mean telling him goodbye, and that's something I'd rather not do in a parking lot where people are still watching everything I do.

I watched him turn and walk away. I turned before he reached his car. I made my way to my car and got in. I didn't give myself time to take back the decision. After I buckled, I drove away.

The only thought on my mind was why I'm leaving. Kai's "setting me free." As if it's his responsibility to do that.

As I passed the Mystic Falls sign, I got the overwhelming urge to turn around and stay, but I pushed the urge far away.

I've always been able to reach my goals and pass them exponentially. The only goal I haven't achieved is leaving Mystic Falls and finding myself out of the town. Things are expected of me in this town by everyone, and I'd rather not have to meet those everyday.

I want to live for myself without boundaries pushing me to my breaking point every single day. Of course I love this town, and I would do anything to be here for the rest of my life, but I don't want to sacrifice my sanity for a town that doesn't accept the effort I'm giving.

I don't know where I'm going, but I'll know when I get there. And when I find it, I'll never run from it. I'll stay and ride out whatever storm I'm caught in.