BREAK - chp 4

Hi lovelies! I hope you're all well today.

This chapter took me forever, and feels rough in some edges because I am currently exhausted. :,) I worked on all 4 chapters today while dealing with cramps and a migraine. It's a juggle. However, I'm very proud of Liam as a character. I feel like Caregiver character's are always these stoic or forceful types of people, and I just can't understand that. We're all humans after all, including caregivers! I hope you all love Liam as well. <3

Rant over heehee.

Hope you enjoy!

Q : when did you start regressing/caregiving , if you take part in it ?

A : i started at around 15 , but did it without realizing since I was like 12 xP

Liam POV

He sighed as he walked around the block, nearing the corner to the street where their house was. He was extremely anxious, and even that was an understatement to how he felt.

Once he had arrived home, he called out a 'hello', receiving nothing in return. There was the faint noise of cartoons on the TV, and he could hear Amelia's occasional giggles, but there was no one that greeted him. He didn't even bother calling out again, and instead went to his room with a gloom and doom expression, hearing light chatter from his mom's office. That made sense; his cousin was hanging out with his girlfriend, and his mother was busy. No time for him. He hurried to do his homework, not trusting himself to do anything else as he felt a wave of fuzziness take over. A sad kind of fuzziness.

As he set out to do his homework, he quickly found that it was not going well. He was biting back tears, a few managed to slip through and fall onto the paper. The instructions jumbled together like a puzzle, the numbers weren't numbering, the math wasn't mathing, and every sound, every buzz was becoming so unbearable. He slammed his pencil down and bit his lip, ripping at a piece of skin and feeling the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

He was shaking in his chair, hands in hair and tugging at it, while his tears continued to come through. His pants quickly became soaked in some spots due to the tears, while his nose started running. He felt tiny, and so sad.

As soon as he started sobbing, he heard someone coming up the stairs, and his door slowly creaked open. He knew who it was without even turning around, and he let his sobs come out more loudly this time.

In an instant, Killian was by his side, tugging Liam's chair back so he could kneel in front of him, gently taking his hands from his hair and holding them in his, taking deep breaths and coaxing Liam to do the same.

After a couple minutes, all Liam felt was a dull ache, sore eyes, and a sniffly nose, his breathing back to normal.

"There ya' go, Liam. It's gonna be okay." Liam nodded at Killian's words, but couldn't respond other than a slight whimper. "Can you tell me what happened, bud?"

"The uh-" Liam didn't trust his words, so he pointed to the sheet of math homework on his desk, sniffling.

"Oh dear. Math isn't very fun, is it?" Liam shook his head. "How about you do this tomorrow, okay? I don't think you're feeling your best, and I know you can easily do this usually. Take some time to relax, okay?"

"No! I don't want to- I need to do this now." He glared at Killian, who's expression was shocked, to say the least.

"And why's that?"

"I just need to, okay?!" He pushed Killain back and brought his knees to his forehead, hugging his knees to his body and taking ragged breaths.

"Liam, I think you know where you're coming from, and I unders-"

"You don't understand!" Liam looked up at him with a glare, his whole body shaking once again.

"Buddy.. I went through school too, I know how scary this year is, with the Test and all."

"You still don't understand! Your classification was easy, you knew what it was." Liam sniffled while standing up abruptly from his chair and going to his bed, covering himself with the blankets.

"Liam, running away from your problems won't solve anything, especially not these emotions." Killian stayed calm and kind. "How about you come here and we talk it out, okay?"

"No! Go 'way." Liam buried himself deeper into the blankets and turned his back on Killian. He heard a sigh, and his door closed soon after.

It took him a couple minutes to cool off, and as soon as he did, guilt came rushing back up. The fuzziness was still there. He sighed and got up from bed, padding his way over to his door while covering his head and body with his blanket to avoid looking at anyone.

He slowly went down the stairs of their dainty little cottage, and stopped right as the living room came into view. He heard the cartoons being stopped, and even the ruckus in the kitchen had ceased. It stayed silent, so he dared a look up at Killian. He was just watching him with a slight smile, not forcing anything out of him.

"I'm uhm- I'm sorry, Killi. I didn't mean to lash out." He looked back down at his feet, rolling on his heels back and forth.

"That's okay, Liam. We all have our moments. Wanna come over here and talk about it with me?" Liam nodded and slowly made his way over to him, plopping himself close to him and trying to lean into him for a hug. He relaxed as Killian wrapped an arm around him in a side hug. "I'm not angry at you, Li, I'm just a bit worried. Tell me what's on your mind, bud."

"I jus- I'm scared. I feel like- this fuzziness in my head and I'm scared to know what it means."

"And why's that?"

"'Cause it means I'm not a caregiver."

"And why is that a problem?"

"'Cause you said that I would make a really good caregiver, and if I'm not a caregiver, I don't want to let you down.."

Killian sighed and turned Liam so that they were facing each other, lifting his head up and smiling at him.

"Li, I'm gonna be proud of you no matter what happens. You're my lil buddy through and through, okay?"

Liam nodded and then took a moment to assess what was going on in his body. "Do you think, maybe, that I'm a mix of Caregiver and Little?"

"I think that's entirely possible, as rare as it is. There's no use in stressing about it. The Test will help you, bud." Killian chuckled and brought Liam into one of his famous – and loved – bear hugs. "You got this, okay? I'll walk you." Liam gave him a look- "In silence. We'll walk in silence. Let me be there for my baby cousin." KIllian laughed as he ruffled Liam's hair around.

"Fine, you win." Liam cracked a goofy grin and got up, removing his blanket from over his head and walking back up the stairs to get ready.

As he got dressed, he was once again reminded of how much he loved Killian. He was there for him, accepting, and always had open arms for a hug, or two.. or maybe five.

After his father had left, it became hard to juggle house responsibilities and school while his mom focused on her business. He had struggled, a lot. Until Killian came to crash at their place, and found a very comfortable home with them. Both Liam and his mom were very happy to welcome him, as it made the place less lonely.

He also realized, while getting dressed, that he had regressed. That's what the fuzziness was about, and that's why he found it hard to control his emotions. It even explained his struggle with words.

That made him afraid. If he were classified as a Little.. they would treat him differently, both at school, and at home. He was afraid of being babied when he didn't need it, and hated the fact that people would move away, not wanting to 'stress him out' or 'hurt his feelings'. That was something he couldn't have. He did not build up his reputation, only to have it crushed down because of a silly classification.

He took a deep breath to control himself before heading out of his room to meet up with Killian. As he went down the stairs, he smelled something delicious. It was coming from their kitchen. Oh my gosh, it was his favourite dish! He raced down and grinned as he saw what his mom was doing in the kitchen. She looked at him and pursed her lips.

"Out, silly, get out!" She waved her spatula around threateningly before Liam ducked away and laughed as she sighed, clearly exaggerating for their entertainment.

He found Killian waiting for him at the door

"You doing okay, buddy?" Killian placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, making Liam sigh a little.

"Yeah, I'm just- I'm really nervous. I feel so exhausted today, and I don't even know why."

"The stress is probably catching up ya'. It'll be fine. In 2 hours, you'll be done and settled. Trust me?"

"I hope you're right.." They exited the house, Killian cracking a couple jokes here and there to light the mood, making Liam smile a bit, but there was still that lingering thought in the back of his head.

There was no denying what his Classification was.

–

I've got more chapters ready to publish, but I like the suspense. wink wink.

The next chapter will be out in 4-5 days!

WC : 1594