Chapter 14

“Don’t you think this red dress is perfect for me? A woman my age needs to spice things up with pretty dresses and jewelry.” Honora winks at me.

We’ve been shopping for two hours straight. It’s only now, after two hours, that she finally agrees with one of the random dresses I’ve been picking out in the stores.

I give her a tight smile. Roman’s words keep echoing in my mind.

"I’m not going to lose you too." Who had he lost? What is he so afraid of? I can’t help but interrupt Honora as she starts to tell me another story about Roman as a child.

“Who has he lost? I know it’s his story to tell, but I need to know. Yesterday he said that he’s not going to lose me too.”

Honora’s face turns sad, and she suddenly becomes very interested in her food. I reach out and gently squeeze her hand.

“Please. I have to know. I can’t understand, and until I do, things won’t get better. I need to know, please.”

My pleading seems to soften her as she looks at me. I can see her thinking, so I sit quietly.

“When Roman was just a pup, he fell down the stairs once. He was always so full of energy and would fall a lot. His father tried to calm him down.

“He kept telling him that a Prince shouldn’t behave that way. So when Roman bled on his clothes, he snuck into the maid section. He knew his father wouldn’t set foot there.

“He was looking for clothes when the pup of one of our omegas walked in. She helped him cover up his fall, and from that day on, they were friends.

“Accalia had an energy just as fierce as Roman’s, but she was wise beyond her years and knew how to behave responsibly. She always managed to get Roman out of trouble, well, mostly.” Honora chuckles.

“His father liked Accalia and the influence she had on Roman, so he allowed the friendship. Accalia spent more nights at our house than she did at her own.

“When they became teenagers, their friendship turned into something more. They were convinced that they would be mated.” Honora looks at me apologetically as jealousy stirs within me.

“But Matteo didn’t approve of their relationship; he said an Omega couldn’t stand beside a king. Accalia was determined to prove the king wrong.

“She trained day and night among the warriors to become strong. She secretly stole books on how princesses should behave and what was expected of them.

“Jess and Roman disagreed with her. They didn’t want her to fight. Every day she would come home with torn clothes.” I look at her puzzled. What does Jess have to do with this?

“Jess was her brother. He hated Roman for making his sister feel insecure. They always fought, even though they both wanted to keep Accalia safe.

“Accalia, however, proved to be good at what she did. She got stronger every day, and soon she was accepted as one of the warriors. She was the first female they took in here.

“When Accalia and Roman were seventeen, we were attacked. Rogues were trying to kill the king.”

I’ve heard this story before. Rogues thinking they’re strong enough to take on a whole pack, hmph.

“Matteo locked Roman up in one of the safe rooms. Roman went crazy; he didn’t know where Accalia was.

“Jess searched everywhere, thinking she’d be with Roman. When the fight was over, Matteo let Roman out of the safe room. He and Jess searched for Accalia.

“They found her surrounded by twelve dead rogues. All killed by her hand. They lay in a circle around her. She killed them all, but her injuries had killed her too.

“They sat by her body crying for hours. No one could pull them away from her. Roman was angry at his father for locking him up, for taking away his chance to save her.

“He attacked him, but of course, his father defeated him. Matteo showed him mercy when the rules said he should have killed his son. Jess and Roman were bonded by their grief.

“Roman built the house he now lives in. Both he and Jess would lock themselves up there for weeks, even months. Jess couldn’t bear to live in the house that smelled of his sister, the memories clinging to the walls.”

“After the worst of the pain had faded, Roman stepped up as a Prince. He taught all the pups how to fight, he studied day and night to be a suitable Prince, his energy had died the day Accalia died.”

“One day he came to me with tears in his eyes, gripping my hands tightly. ‘Mother, as I stand here before you today as the Prince, the future king, as a son and an Alpha, I promise you that this pack will never lose a woman or a pup at the hand of another again.”

‘I give my heart, my soul, and my body to this promise. I will protect them with all I am.’ He never spoke of those words again.”

“But I knew the moment you walked in, saying you’re a warrior and a strong one, that everything that had happened with Accalia came flooding back to him. He doesn’t think you’re not strong enough, he’s afraid that he won’t be strong enough to save you. He’s afraid that you’ll die too.”

Tears are now streaming down my face as my heart breaks for Roman.

He’s been through so much. Blaming himself for not being able to save her, hating his father for locking him up.

My heart aches for this teenager with a lively spirit that was crushed by grief.

I understand why he fought me now. I understand why he is so determined to stop me from being a warrior.

Doubt creeps in. Do I want to be a warrior if it means breaking my mate?

Can I give up that part of myself to make my mate happy?

I don’t know, but what I do know is that I need to talk to him.

I need to let him know I’m sorry, need to tell him that as mates we must tell each other everything.

I want to be his mate, his love, his queen, his princess.

But will who I am die in the process?