19. Escape

"How was the show girls?" Carissa asked as Kaylee closed the car door and they began to pull away from the curb. "Was it scary?"

"No, I'd say we felt warm and safe, mom," said Kaylee, gently kicking Taylor, with a grin on her face.

"Speak for yourself Kaylee! Let's just say it wasn't anything I could have ever expected or enjoyed," said Taylor irritated and disgusted.

"Anything exciting happen," Carissa inquired with a smirk.

"Yeah, mom. Taylor w--," Kaylee began before being cut off by Taylor.

"No, nothing happened! Well 'cept  the scene where the main boy character was forcing himself on the main girl character, kissing her and the evil creature walked up on them and scared them. I wasn't expecting that and I dropped my popcorn on the floor."

"That's not what happened. Taylor has a bo--"

"NO! Thats exactly what happened."

"I've seen that movie, girls, and I don't remember a kissing scene, other than when the two main girls were hiding from the creature and holding each other tight. The one girl gave the other, which she had feelings for, a quick peck on the cheek to calm her down."

"Um, yeah, yeah. That's uh, the scene," Taylor quickly responded.

"What," Kaylee cried out. "You didn't even see that scene. You were too busy lip--"

"I did," Taylor insisted. "And it scared me."

"Whatever, girls. Glad you enjoyed it . . . I think," Carissa replied as the traffic light turned green.

"Hey Taylor, can I have a piece of your gum. Do you have anymore?" Carissa asked, looking back at Taylor through the rear view mirror.

"I don't have any--," Taylor started to reply, then quickly rolled down the window and spit out the gum he just realized he had been chewing on, recognizing that it had to have come from Johnny's mouth.

"Seriously, Taylor?" asked Carissa.

"Sorry, it was my last piece and I really don't have any more," Taylor quickly replied, suddenly feeling quite ill.

"Can you just take me to my house. I'm tired and I don't feel well. I feel sick."

"Unfortunately, I can't. Craig is taking care of some things. I'm sure you're wiped, but I promise tonight will be your last night as a guest," Carissa explained. "Relax, we'll be home soon and can get you girls into your nightgowns."

Taylor couldn't believe he had to stay over at Kaylee's house again.

"What about dinner, mom?"

"Don't worry, you'll get dinner. I ordered delivery from that burger bar you like so much."

As soon as they had finished eating, Taylor found himself having to change into an ankle length flowing pink nightgown.

It was even worse than the previous nights. This time he had a picture of some Kpop boy band across his chest, surrounded by a huge red heart.

Carissa tucked them in, turned out the light and closed the door behind her.

Taylor tried to go to sleep but only tossed and turned, having a hard time removing the thoughts of his experience at the theater from his mind.

Having to pretend to be a girl and having a boy interested in him didn't sit well with Taylor, at all. In fact, it freaked him out, scared him to death, made him want to throw up, but he knew he would have to tread lightly with Johnny if he wanted to be able to play on the football team he had always dream of.

His thoughts turned to figuring out how he could let Johnny know he wasn't interested without upsetting him and jeopardizing his spot on the team.

At one point a thought formed in his mind that he didn't much like, yet he pondered it for a brief moment. The thought was one that said having Johnny like him this way was a small price to have to pay to be a part of the team he's always wanted to play on.

He pondered this thought for a moment. Then, with disgust and a shudder, he tried to dismiss the thought, but a another thought formed.

Is being a girl really that bad.

He had absolutely no clue where that thought came from and anger began to rise up inside him.

Yes, yes it is, he screamed in his head, creeped out that such an idea could have ever entered his brain.

Trying to shut out all the voices and escape the crazy thoughts, Taylor desperately searched his brain for something else to think about.

He tried to picture himself making a winning touchdown in a championship game but his brain deceived him. While he watched himself run the ball down the field, he couldn't picture himself in a normal football uniform. Instead he only saw himself in a short dress with a wide flared skirt, low-heeled sandals on his feet, and ponytails whipping in the wind behind his head as he ran.

Taylor watched himself run in those shoes with the same speed and precision as he normally did in football cleats. When he got to the end zone, Taylor watched as the rest of the team caught up to him and Johnny tackled him, wrapping his arms around him, and congratulating him with the kind of passionate kiss normally only seen in the climatic scene of a sappy Hallmark Channel holiday movie.

No, no, no, Taylor screamed in his head before forcing his brain to rewind the scene a couple seconds to the point Johnny tackled him. He then was able to change the scene by immediately shoving Johnny away, but before he could do anything else, another boy planted a kiss on his cheek.

Taylor lay there in a state of being not really asleep, yet not consciously awake either. Tears beginning to form in his eyes as recent memories started to flash through his mind in rapid succession, starting with Johnny taking a seat next to him in the theater.

Another scene replaced the first then another and another, at first one every two or three seconds. He watched memories flash like still photographs, one after another, each one coming slightly faster than the one before.

They continued to come, showing him every situation and experience he'd had over the last few days going all the way back to the moment he'd told the lie that set all of this in motion.

Then the scenes began to play in short video clips going forward from that moment, only this time, unlike reality, he saw himself enjoying the transformation, saw clips of himself actually manipulating the situations to ensure he got the outfits, shoes, and hairstyles he wanted, and watched helplessly as the girly-dressed boy in his dream did everything he could to ensure he got to continue dressing as a girl.

Taylor's conscious was confused by these false memories, didn't like what it was seeing at all, and as a result began to cause him to feel physically ill.

Nausea overcame Taylor, jolting him awake. He immediately jumped up out of bed and barely made it to the bathroom before he was throwing up in the toilet.

After several minutes he was finally able to return to bed with tears in his eyes.

He lay in bed staring at the ceiling, afraid to go back to sleep, afraid of what his mind might try to convince him of this time.

Tears continued to trickle out of the corners of his eyes and began to puddle in his outer ears.

What have I done? He asked himself. How do I escape this or is it too late? I'd rather not keep doing this, but if I don't I'll be humiliated and have to leave the team I've long dreamed of playing for. I haven't even got a chance to play a game with them yet. No, I can't quit, not yet anyway. I can't lose this football opportunity. I'll have to find a way to handle it, to deal with it all for now.

Coming to terms with this, knowing he'd have to continue to keep up the charade, Taylor realized that he'd eventually have to talk to his brother and tell him he didn't want to return to life as a boy yet. He dreaded that conversation but knew he could put it off until Craig got what he wanted and brought it up.

Hopefully, Taylor told himself, Craig will get what he wants and it will be so good he'll beg me to continue pretending for a while longer.

Taylor also began to realize what this decision meant for him with Johnny. He'd try to let the boy down gently but it probably wouldn't be easy. He also knew he'd better start paying more attention to how Kaylee and Carissa did things so he could more easily pass as a girl. Even though he hadn't had any issues so far, he didn't know how much longer that could last before he did something that made people suspicious.

Before long, Taylor had calmed his mind enough to finally drift off to sleep.