Chapter 26

Adrian's POV

6 days later...

Derek's been acting really weird since we kissed almost a week ago. He is still super tense, fidgety, all of that shit. He just looks so uncomfortable. I don't know if I hurt him by telling him that I don't want to be with him because he won't come out. I know it's not his fault, and I know I shouldn't change my entire decision on that, but it is really important to me. I want to be public with a relationship, and Derek doesn't want to come out.

That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for him still. Maybe he just needs time and then he'll come out on his own. Again, I don't want to pressure him into doing that, but it would be great.

Right now it's really fucking late and me and Derek realized we had not eaten anything for dinner yet, so he ordered some food and went out to pick it up. I'm just chilling and watching TV right now, waiting for him to get back.

I feel like I would 100% be cool with being with him if he would just come out. He's such a sweetheart and I feel like I should've seen it in his demeanor before. He likes me. He really likes me. He pays for all of my shit. He makes sure I'm doing alright everyday, he makes me feel comfortable, he lets me fall asleep on his shoulder, he does everything I want in a partner.

Legitimately, what is really stopping me from being with him? So what if he doesn't come out? I've been wanting him for years, and I still want him, but is him not coming out really the only thing keeping me from being with him? That seems unreasonable, right?

The sound of the door opening snaps me out of my thoughts and to Derek, who is carrying two pizzas and a grocery bag in his hands. He puts the bag down and opens it, and he bought me a pink lemonade, bought himself a water, and bought some chocolate. It's mint.

That's what Derek's lips tasted like when I kissed him.

"Thanks for getting me a lemonade," I smile at him.

"No problem."

We eat pretty quickly and have damn near all of the chocolate for dessert before we both decide that we should save some for later. It was expensive apparently, and it makes sense. It tasted fucking amazing, no wonder it cost so much.

"Adri, can I talk to you about something?" Derek asks.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I answer. I'm the only one in this room, I don't really know why he would ask permission to talk to me.

"I need to confess some things to you."

"Okay..."

"I really like you. Like a lot, a lot. I'm talking more than damn near every person I've ever liked before," he states.

"Really?"

"Did you not notice how crazy I was going the week before I asked to kiss you? I couldn't handle it. Spending time with you makes me insane. Not in a bad way, by the way," he specifies.

"Why do you like me so much?" I question.

"Well, there are a lot of things I like about you. The fact that you are such a kind person, that's really important to me. You wouldn't hurt anyone unless you had a reason to. I also love when you talk about anything. You make the most boring topics interesting, just because you're such a funny, amazing person. I don't know what you've done to me, Adri, I really don't. You're so smart, you have such a great sense of humor, you're so compassionate, you're every kind of green flag possible."

I stare at him in disbelief at his confession. He just told me that he likes everything about my personality. I can't believe this.

"Your personality isn't the only thing, by the way, but I think I would still fall for you even if you didn't look like how you look. You're gorgeous. I think I told you that already, but you have to know, you have to understand. You are genuinely so beautiful. And you don't even try that hard to look so beautiful. I put all this effort into just doing my hair in the morning, and that doesn't even account for the amount of time I spend before I go to sleep and after I wake up on my skincare. I'm practically wearing makeup everyday, but you're so naturally pretty. How the hell do you do that?" he asks.

"I don't know, I didn't really realize I was so attractive," I admit.

"Well, you should've figured it out, Adri. You really should've. You're so fucking gorgeous and everyone except for you sees that. Julian saw it, I see it every fucking day, and you should be able to see it in the mirror every day. You're an actual angel, Adrian. I don't know why I didn't notice you in high school."

"What?"

"I can't believe I didn't realize how beautiful you were in high school," he repeats.

"How long have you liked me?" I ask.

"Uh, over a month now, I think I realized that I really do like you after you got the concussion. I realized how important you are to me and how you pretty much saved me from what was going to be an extremely rough depression. You pulled me out of that and helped me get back on my feet in terms of my mental health. You saved me, Adrian."

"Wha-you saved me! I was so depressed and I didn't want to go outside! You saved me from what was going to be a really rough depression!"

"Well, if that's true, you saved me too," he says.

"Uh, fine. Keep going."

"Anyways, you saved me from being really sad for a long time. I might've had to stoop to listening to. Oh God, it's horrible to think about. I might've had to stoop so low that I would be listening to... depression rap," he says, dramatically gagging.

"Same! I didn't want that! I'm not a sad 15 year old! I'm a sad college student!"

"Okay, let's all calm down for a sec while I keep telling you how I feel for you. Okay, thank you. Anyways, you're the nicest, sweetest, most beautiful person I've ever seen and you're so easy to talk to. We started talking pretty comfortably right off the bat, and that's when the process began. That's when I began falling for you. And goddamnit, I fell so hard for you, Adri. I don't know what happened, but it was so quick. 2 weeks is all it took to realize that I had unbelievably strong feelings for you, and I've been wanting you for so fucking long," he claims. He has no idea what a long time is.

"You think 8 weeks is a long time? Derek, I had an insane crush on you for the last 4 years," I state, and his eyes get super wide. "Yeah, I wanted you from basically the day you walked into school in sophomore year. I wanted you so bad, and I thought full well that you were straight, but walking in on you really fucked with my brain. And I might've lost some feelings for you while we weren't talking at all, but I gained them all back in a couple days."

"Really? Then why don't you want to be with me?" he asks.

"Because you won't actually be with me," I say, staring down at my lap.

"Adri, I'm so fucking sorry. I want you more than anything, but coming out is not a good idea for me. I don't live with my mom anymore obviously, but her boyfriend is psychotic. He went to jail for a hate crime against an LGBT person, and my mom said she is totally fine with him hunting you and Cam and Aaron down and hurting them if I don't stop spending time with all of you. But I can't do that either. I like you too much to not be around you," he says.

"Really? I mean, I do want someone to protect me."

"Adri, I'm not trying to convince you to be with me, I just needed to tell you that. I needed to air all of this out and be completely open with you about how I feel. You're so important to me and I can't see you hurt again. Seeing you hurt that one night was no upsetting. I can't believe people would just hurt you without knowing you. You're the most genuinely sweet person I know. I want to protect you, Adri, and I kind of am trying already even though we're not together, but I feel like being together would be better. I want to protect you from my mom's batshit crazy boyfriend."

I think about it for a moment. Derek wants to protect me. I kind of already knew that, but he would really protect me well. That's good boyfriend material, out or not. I've been dreaming of being with him for years, should being out or not really affect my decision this much? He's a great guy, he likes me for so many reasons, and I like him so much back. There's only so much that can go wrong if we get together.

"Derek, I don't know if I want to fully be with you yet. I'll think about it for sure, but right now, I think it's better to assess our situation. I do want to kiss you. More than anything, but it would be wrong if we're not together," I tell him finally.

"You can kiss me. We don't need to be together to kiss. I want to kiss you too. Only if you're 100% sure you want to kiss me again. This is all up to you. Again, I'm not trying to pressure you into dating me, but I just wanted to tell you, you know, be honest about all of that. If you want, I'll leave you alone and let you decide what you want, but I just wanted to let you know what I want and why I want you so bad."

"Derek, I do want to be with you, but publicly. A public relationship is so much better than having to hide and be scared of people learning about us," I state.

"Adri, I don't even know how much longer I'm gonna be hiding myself. I don't think I'm gonna come out, but if we're in public, on a date, I will be actually with you. I will treat you like you deserved to be treated, which is with all the care and appreciation you deserve, and I will not hide that we're dating, I just won't tell people about it, if you know what I mean."

"That doesn't sound that bad. I would be fine with that," I tell him.

"Obviously, behind closed doors I will be hugging you and kissing you every time you want me to, and I will do anything to make you happy."

"I think I'm gonna have to think about it," I state.

"Yeah, of course. Take your time, there's no rush. Do you want me to leave?" he asks.

"No. Stay here, please. I uh, want t-can I kiss you?" I ask.

"Are you sure you want to? Is this not gonna be weird?"

"I don't know."

"Actually, Adri, I don't know if us kissing right now is the best thing to do right now. You need time to think about what you want, and I don't want us kissing to affect your decision. You should decide based on what you actually want. If me kissing you changes your decision, then I don't think kissing right now would be a good idea," he says.

"You're right. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I want to talk this out, and you're the best person to talk to about this, since the decision is regarding you," I point out.

"Okay. Just think through it, you know? Also, you don't have to decide today, this is not an urgent matter in my eyes."

"It kind of is in mine, though. I like you a lot, Derek. But I do want to be public."

"I understand, 100%. But like I said, my mom's boyfriend will go rabid on me, and will find try to find you anyways, with or without me, and I just want to protect you," he says.

"Is that all?"

"No, of course not, Adri, I do like you a lot. I look at you and I just smile every time you say something. You're the best part of my life right now, and even if we don't end up together, you'll still be my favorite person," he states.

"Really?"

"Yes. You're amazing."

"I think you're amazing too. And I feel like you're the only person that can really calm me down when I'm stressed about something. That's good boyfriend material, Derek, I have to admit. You would really make me so happy, I really feel like you and me together would be a good thing. Even if we're not public, I would still be overjoyed to be with you. I mean, look at you. You're the hottest person I've ever seen, and you care so much about me."

"Thanks. I have a good skincare routine," he brags.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to give that routine to me," I say.

"You already have good skin. Without all the CeraVe I'm dumping on my face every morning and every night, I would have really dry skin. Your skin is so smooth."

"Th-thanks," I blush. "Anyways, I think being with you would be a good thing. You're attractive, you're so nice to me, you buy me things that I should be paying for myself, and overall, I really do like you back."

"What does that mean?" he questions.

"Well. I guess it means that yes, I will be with you, Derek. I will be with you."

"Oh my God, Adri, thank you so much. You have literally no idea how happy I am that you said yes. I was stressing so bad trying to think about what I was going to say to you," he says.

"So, we're boyfriends now, I guess? This is a moment I would never have seen coming."

"How? You're gorgeous, Adri. You're absolutely beautiful. High school romance means nothing unless it's Devin and Alicia or Cameron and Aaron, but still, how many high school couples really stay together past high school?" he asks.

"I-I don't know," I say.

"Same. Probably not as many as college couples though."

"Yeah. Yeah. We'll be a good couple, right?"

"I think we'll be a great couple, Adri. And don't worry, I don't really want us to be open, but if we acted like a couple in public, I would be fine with that. Like, we can hold hands and shit like that if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. That is kind of my dream," I admit. "Holding hands with someone sounds fun."

"Yeah. Holding hands with someone I really like is gonna be a new experience for me. Don't get mad if my hands get sweaty, it's only because I'll be nervous around you."

"Why?"

"Adri, stop asking questions like that. You know damn well why I'll be nervous around you," he says.

"Do I?"

"Well, you're beautiful, and I really like you, and I get weird and nervous around crushes," he admits. I almost cry on the spot. If you told me 3 years ago that Derek would confess his feelings to him in 3 years, he would ignore you. He would think you were joking, and I probably wouldn't have believed that until this day. It just happened, and now we're boyfriends I guess?

"Can I-can I kiss you?" I ask.

Derek smiles at me. He nods at me. "Yeah. You can."

I stare at him for a moment, damn near not being able to process this moment. Derek is my boyfriend and he just gave me consent to kiss me. This is quite literally a dream come true for me. This is actually unbelievable for me.

I put a hand on his cheek and stare into his beautiful eyes. I want to wake up and see his eyes. I want to stare at him and just treasure him. He's so handsome, and quite frankly, he is very manly, but he still manages to be pretty. It's his face. His face isn't actually that manly, he still has plump lips, very smooth skin, very defined cheekbones, and curly hair. Not to say that you can't look manly with any of these features, but Derek doesn't look super masculine. Just super fucking pretty.

"Are you sure?" he asks me.

"Yeah. I truly think I'm sure about this. You're so amazing to me, I don't care that we won't be public," I tell him.

"Thank you Adri. You really have no idea how happy I am right now."

"Same."

I slowly move to him, our lips meeting in a soft but extremely sweet kiss. His lips taste like mint still, from the chocolates he got for us to get for dessert. I have a feeling that was on purpose, he definitely got mint chocolate so our breaths would not smell bad.

We pull away after a few seconds and just smile at each other. I really do want to be with Derek. I feel like being public doesn't matter that much to me after that kiss, that's why I agree with Derek saying it was a good idea for me not to kiss him before I made up my mind. His lips are very influential.

"This is good, right?" he asks.

"Yeah. This is really good. I can finally say I've kissed someone and I can finally say I'm in a relationship," I beam.

His face lights up at the sight of my face and he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight to his chest. I get a really good whiff of his cologne, which smells amazing. He's addicting and I'm not gonna try to get into rehab for him.

"Do you wanna go on a date tomorrow?" he asks.

"We have class though."

"Yeah, until like 2:00. The rest of the day we have free basically. We can go to a mall, have dinner somewhere, then come back here and chill."

"So a normal day for us?" I grin.

"Yeah. I guess. If you're good with that."

"Yeah. That sounds great. That really sounds great, Derek. I'll see you tomorrow in class. Sleep well," I tell him.

"You too. Can I kiss you again?" he asks.

"Yes."

He cups my face and quickly pecks me on the lips. I was expecting a longer kiss, but I have no complaints. Any lip to lip contact with this man makes me go crazy.

"Goodnight, Adri."

"Goodnight, Derek."

Derek leaves my room and I exhale loudly. I slump on the couch and take a minute to think about what just happened.

Derek is my boyfriend.

My biggest crush ever is my boyfriend.

A/N: AHHHHHH!! They're boyfriends!!!! Now, the next couple chapters may or may not stress you out a little bit. I'm not gonna give anything away, but please do not start crying. I will not break the two of them up this early, so don't worry. Derek is too locked in to really fumble the bag on this one. I kind of forgot the other things I was gonna say here, so this is a short A/N. Thanks for reading!!!