Chapter 217

Jane By the time Ethan finally calls me back in to see him, he’s been moved into a private room in the hospital’s VIP wing. I leave the pups with Devon, eager to have some more alone time with my stubborn mate. I know he’s still reeling from everything which has happened in the last few days, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him push me away again. Now that I know what he’s thinking, I feel ready for anything..

When I arrive upstairs, a pair of male nurses are helping Ethan try to stand. His back is to me, so I pause in the doorway to watch, my heart thumping loudly in my ears. “Okay Alpha, we re just going to try and put some weight on your legs. Take it slowly, and don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen right away. These things take time.”

Ethan grunts and nods, using his hands to push off the bed while the nurses spot him. Through the open back of his hospital gown I can see a thick white bandage plastered to his spine, and as he gets his feet underneath him, I’m also treated to a flash of his sculpted behind. I barely fight the impulse to wolf whistle, afraid of startling him when he’s so unsteady.

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I see Ethan straightening up, standing on his own for the first time in months. Pride and happiness wells up inside of me, and my wolf dances for joy in my head.

He’s really going to be okay.

Ethan manages to take a few steps, the nurses praising him with every inch of progress he makes. I can’t see my mate’s face, but I can only imagine the maelstrom of emotions he’s feeling joy, relief, impatience, restraint, frustration with his wolf. Almost as if he heard my thoughts, he shakes his head, “Damn, my wolf is really pushing to get out”

“I’m sure he is, but you need to wait until you’re able to get around better.” One of the nurses advises.

Ethan is walking without their assistance, heading for the restroom, but it’s very slow going.

The three men disappear inside for a moment, and I hear the unmistakable sounds of a flushing toilet and running sink. When they reappear in the doorway, Ethan doesn’t look the least bit surprised to see me. I realize he probably smelled me the moment I arrived, and part of me wonders if he hadn’t been showing off for me – just a little.

“Spying little wolf?” He inquires, watching me with more warmth than I’ve experienced in a very long time.

“Peeping actually.” I correct him cheekily. “Those with more warmth than I’ve experienced in a very long time.

“Peeping actually.”I correct him cheekily. “Those gowns give quite a view”

Ethan chuckles as he climbs back into bed, thanking the nurses and dismissing them. Once they leave, he pats the mattress beside him in invitation, and I slowly move forward, feeling both hopeful and uncertain. “How are you feeling?”I inquire, gingerly sliding onto the raised bed.

Ethan shifts onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow so he can hover over me while I rest on my back. His free hand automatically goes to my belly, and I feel the sudden urge to cry. I’ve been craving this closeness from him for so long, it’s difficult to believe this is real. “I feel better than I have in a long time.” He finally answers, his deep voice low and even.

I want to ask him a thousand questions and more, but as determined as I am to restore our relationship, I can’t help but feel a bit skittish with him. I know he pushed me away to protect me and that he still loves me, but I’m also afraid he’s going to continue rejecting me. I want to steal as much time with him as I can before that happens, before I have to go on the offensive. So instead of saying what I really wish, I ask, “Aren’t you worried about the pack finding out about all this Ethan shrugs, “All the hospital staff are under NDAs. And it would be different if the surgery hadn’t worked. Now that I’m on the mend l’ll be able to defend my title again”

I nod, recognizing the truth of his words. The people might be furious he lied, but unless someone is able to steal his position as Alpha, the scandal won’t truly hurt him beyond his approval ratings. I’m still processing his words when his knuckles graze my cheek, and I realize he’s been intently watching me.

“Did you get some rest?

“With four little ones?” I snort, “hardly.” Instead the pups and I had gone to the cafeteria and filled up on jello. I normally wouldn’t have permitted such a treat so early in the day, but my pregnancy cravings had been demanding I indulge in the dessert myself, which would have made denying it to the pups very difficult indeed. Right on cue, a huge yawn overtakes me, and I find myself blushing. “Sorry, it was a long night.”

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart.” Ethan murmurs,stroking my hair. “I want to let you sleep, but we need to talk about something first.”

I grimace. “I don’t think I like the sound of that.

Ethan offers me a sad smile, “I want you to listen to me very carefully, Jane.” His hands are still petting me in familiar, soothing patterns, and I immediately understand that my instincts were correct. I’m not going to like whatever comes next…

“I already know what you’re going to say, Ethan.”I interrupt, hating how vulnerable I feel lying under him this way. It’s very difficult to be intimidating when prone beneath a lethal predator, with all the grace and agility of a beached whale. “And I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to go along with this. I’m not going to let you push me away anymore. I know you did all this because your wolf was trapped and we weren’t safe with you. I know you made promises to Nina. But I’m not going to let her take you from me because of a few months of strife. You’re my mate, not hers.”

“Jane, this is about so much more than my wolf.”

Ethan corrects me grimly, “I love you more than anything, but disqualified myself as your mate long before any of this began.” Pain blooms in his dark eyes, and I immediately open my mouth to argue. I can’t stand to see him in any more pain, not after everything he’s been through. However, Ethan’s finger presses to my lips before I can conjure the words.

With a rush of defiance, I catch the offending finger between my teeth, nibbling Ethan’s thick digit and flicking my tongue against the tip. Ethan groans and his eyes flash. The next thing I know, he’s withdrawing his finger from my clenching fangs and slamming his mouth into my own.

The moment our lips connect, I whimper with relief and slide my arms around his neck. How long have I been dreaming of being back in this man’s arms? Of hearing him say that he loves me?

Cupping my cheek in one large hand, he sears me with his kiss, lighting a fire deep in my bones and turning my entire body to liquid. I melt against him, letting him take charge, letting him delve his tongue into my mouth to taste me fully.

My blood is rushing in my ears, utter elation making me feel as light as a feather. My wolf is whining in my mind, and heat is pooling low in my belly. The kisses blur and blend until they no longer feel like individual meetings of our lips teeth and tongues. Instead they disappear into one blissful joining, a perfect dance as our bodies reacquaint themselves at long last. It feels achingly right, and I don’t want it to ever end.

The only thing missing is Ethan’s hands on my body. It isn’t fair that he should make my every nerve-

ending explode with sensation and need, only to neglect them. It’s been too long, I don’t understand how he can have so much restraint. 1 arch my back up towards his chest, rubbing my taut nipples against his muscular pecs in a desperate bid for relief, and Ethan growls into my mouth. I try to guide his hand to my breast, so much larger and more sensitive in my pregnancy.

I know if he would only let himself, he would have a field day exploring and teasing the tender flesh.

Unfortunately it seems this was the wrong move, because Ethan drags his mouth from mine. He rests his forehead against my own as we both gasp for air, trying to catch our breath. When he’s calm again, Ethan picks up the conversation where we left off.

“I proved I’m not worthy of you years ago, Janey.

The moment I took Eve’s word over yours,I betrayed you.” He sighs. “I failed you over and over again by not realizing how unhappy you were in Our marriage, how degraded you felt as my wife.

“We’ve been over this.” I insist, still squirming with desire. “Whatever mistakes you made, I balanced them out when I faked my death and hid the pups from you. We’re even Ethan.

“No, we aren’t, baby.” He croons, making my heart stop and start with the term of endearment”

Because I didn’t learn my lesson. I was so consumed with winning you back that I let Eve and the rogues march into our lives unencumbered. You and the pups almost died, and then I let my pain consume me so completely that I broke your spirit. No one who can do that to their mate should be allowed anywhere near them ever again.”

“But I love you. The pups love you. We want youin our lives.” I counter-determinedly.

“I’Il be in your lives. But Im not going to make the mistake of thinking that I’m better than I am anymore.” Ethan replies decisively. “Im not going to hurt you again.”

“But you’re already hurting me.” I exclaim. “You’re hurting me by not being with me!”

Ethan gazes down at me with a furrowed brow, and hope wells in my chest. Is he finally going to see reason?