XXVI | Ghosts

Kaia had a little thorn stuck in her brain: Kaleb is a wolf. She couldn't dislodge that little stab of truth from her thoughts. It was hard at first to notice that it was there because her head had already been aching severely, what with being held captive by her mother's murderer. But with close enough introspection, she found that thorn, the little constant pain, unwelcome and invasive. Jack had put it there knowing how much it would bother her because, though she wished she could deny it, he knew what would hurt her most.

Of course, Kaia knew that. She wanted to ignore it on principle, but she couldn't forget how different Kaleb was from her. She hadn't thought about the fact that there might be a side to him that she didn't know, which was naïve because there most certainly was one, there must have been one. They...hadn't known each other for that long, had they?

It had all gone so quickly because of how she felt. They were mates so falling into a new reality, a comforting rhythm with Kaleb had just made sense. Maybe it had to do with destiny. She didn't know. She hadn't wanted to know. It had all felt so right, so comfortable that she hadn't tried to fight it. She wanted to believe that anything that felt so good couldn't be wrong. Kaia had to cling to that thought even as she heard the snap of Grayson's neck again and again.

She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else. There was something darker, like a monster lurking beneath the thin ice. Only one realization, one crack in her perfect reality, and everything would change. It would come for her and her girlish dreams.

Kaia had the feeling you get when you're standing at the top of a cliff, and you imagine jumping. Not that you'd ever do it, but...what if?

A door opened, jerking Kaia from her thoughts of Kaleb. She'd been left in a room alone, what had been designated 'her bedroom' by Jack. The sparse, grizzly-looking members of Jack's Pack that Kaia had seen hadn't questioned why she was there; they seemed loyal to Jack. Kaia had wondered, when she'd first gotten here, how long Jack had been planning on her arrival.

"Are you finding everything satisfactory?" The invader was a man, or, Kaia realized, more of a boy. He looked younger than Kaia was, with bluish-black hair and coppery skin. He was handsome but in an immature way.

Kaia didn't say anything, which seemed to make him uncomfortable because his face started turning redder. It wasn't that Kaia hadn't found her room satisfactory. It was that this wasn't her room. The silk sheets, the princess bed, the soaring ceilings and ruby red décor...it wasn't her home. It was his. That fact clung to the walls and grew like toxic mold, making everything smell wrong.

"Where's Jack?" Kaia asked. She didn't want to spend any more time here than she had to. If she could get into Jack's head somehow, she might be able to make progress. And then she could get to Kaleb; Kaia had a feeling that just seeing him would calm the storm inside her, would ease her worries, would rid her of all the filth that was building up in her head and heart.

The boy looked confused by her question at first, but then his eyes widened. "You mean Alpha Jacob?" he asked, "He's the one who sent me here to check on you and ask if you needed anything. He said that he would come this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Kaia demanded, standing up. She was almost as tall as this guy was, and no doubt stronger. He was like a compilation of twigs haphazardly sewn together without any regard to proportions. "And just what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

The boy looked genuinely traumatized like he'd been called on in class seconds after he'd awoken from a desk nap. "I-I don't...here." He stepped forward and dropped a nicely folded heap of clothes on the bed next to Kaia, "They're for you."

Kaia sighed, flopping onto the bed, "Go tell Jack to come sooner. I'm not patient. If I'm not his prisoner, he'll treat me with respect."

"I can do that," he said, bowing his head and scurrying out the door like a fidgety carrier pigeon. Kaia sighed again and turned onto her back, staring up at the high ceiling above her. There was a chandelier there that reminded her of the one in the entrance hall of the Prowler Mansion, with its raindrop crystals.

Kaia suddenly felt cold like ice was creeping up her arms and legs, so cold it burned. Her heart hurt. She clutched her chest and tried not to cry. She knew what the pain was the moment she felt it. It was because Kaleb was so far from her. They were mates, and they belonged together, no matter how many problems they had.

Kaia closed her eyes. Maybe sleep could rid her of this feeling. Kaia didn't want to sink into despair if she still had the option to be hopeful. She had a choice, and if sleeping was the only way to avoid losing this internal battle, sleep it was.

She didn't want to let him get to her. She had to be smart, to think things through and use her gift to aid her. An idea popped into her head.

Besides, it wasn't like she had much of anything to do besides waiting for Jack to come back so that she could get to work. She hadn't figured out all of the details, but she was sure that when the time came, she'd have more than enough anger to pull this off. Kaia had enough fury in her heart when she was near Jack that running out was impossible. And she trusted Kaleb to come through for her.

At least, she thought she did. Her message might have been a bit too out of the ordinary. Her brother had been so young when she'd told him about Mizpah; he might not even remember. But Kaia could only hope because her hope was her warmth in the winter. She would freeze without it.

Thoughts of Kaleb kept her heart afloat above an endlessly deep, dark ocean of fear and doubt. But she was afraid that Jack would get into her head, that the more time she spent in this place, the more confused her mind would become. Seeing Kaleb felt like the only thing that could stop it, could save her from losing herself. Because he had her heart, and maybe seeing him would remind her what was in it.

☾

Kaleb had told his Pack something close to the truth. He'd recited to them that there was an unknown threat, which was mostly accurate. He'd said to them that he was handling it, that he'd do his best to protect them, which was also true. The only lie was about Kaia. He couldn't let them know that he'd lost his Luna so soon after the Lunar Ceremony, before he'd even been able to...

It just wouldn't look right. It would make Kaleb seem weak, and that was something an Alpha could never be, no matter what. So he'd told them that he had secured his Luna in a separate location, a safe house far from this threat so that the Pack wouldn't lose their brand new Luna. It felt horrible to lie so openly, but he knew he had to do it.

Not only was Kaia not the kind of girl who would run and hide if her Pack was in danger, but she was also precisely where this unknown threat was. The thought of that made every one of Kaleb's atoms burn.

He couldn't let his mind wander, because it would sink to its darkest depths yet. If he allowed his imagination out of its cage, it would rampage and trample his hope. He couldn't let that happen; he needed faith. It was the only thing keeping him functioning despite how afraid he was.

Kaleb massaged a knot that had formed in his neck. The water pounding his muscles from the shower head was helping a bit, but he doubted his aches would go away until he had Kaia in his arms and he could relax.

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the water fall on his face. The moment his eyes fell shut, he felt exhaustion set in. Kaleb shut the water off, dried himself, and threw on sweatpants. He meandered his way back to his bedroom somewhat aimlessly, falling backward onto his bed.

Almost as soon as his tired body hit the mattress, he was asleep. Or, he thought he was. There was a fading to darkness and then a flash of light. And then he was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what had just happened and why he wasn't the slightest bit tired any longer.

He slowly sat up, his muscles tensing and his eyes blinking hard. Something was...he was trying so hard to figure out what had happened. Had he lost time somehow? Had he fallen asleep and just not noticed? Or was that-

Arms wrapped around his stomach, sliding along his muscles. One of them curled around his chest. They were so warm and felt so good that Kaleb closed his eyes for a second, letting the feeling fill him up. Something about being touched so softly was comforting; it was a closeness to another person that he hadn't had for a long time.

Wait. Another person. Kaleb snapped out of the trance he'd been put in and whirled around. When he did, his heart nearly exploded. There was a moment of stillness, like after a ball has been thrown up in the air and gravity finally gets the best of it.

And then there was the fall. Kaleb launched forward, pushing her down onto the bed and wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. "You're alive," he choked, hiding his face in her chest.

Kaia laughed, and the sound drove Kaleb crazy. He wanted to cry, and Kaleb wasn't one to cry. Kaia wrapped her arms around him in return, then rested one hand on his head. She patted it like he was a child, "I'm glad to see you, too."

Kaleb, before he could stop himself, let out a whine. A bit of his lycanthrope instinct had escaped his self-control. Kaleb raised his head, surprised, and cleared his throat. When he looked back down at Kaia, her eyes were saucers, and her mouth was wide open.

Kaleb frowned, "Please, don't-"

"That was so cute!" she squealed, "I've never heard you do that before! You're like a puppy."

Kaleb recoiled. A puppy. No one had called him a pup for years, besides Rosy. Kaleb most certainly was not a pup any longer. He was struck by an overwhelming necessity to prove that he wasn't one. So he did the first thing that came to his mind, what he should have done the night of the Lunar Ceremony before he'd changed.

He leaned down and kissed Kaia, lowering his body just enough that she would remember that he was in control. Kaia welcomed it. She even pulled him a bit closer. His mate had gotten better at kissing, but honestly, Kaleb didn't much care about that. All he wanted was to taste her, to let her know that she was his.

He left Kaia gasping and leaned down to kiss his mark. Her grip tightened when he did, and she let out a little gasp, something he'd come to expect now that he'd made that spot so vulnerable. "Kaleb," Kaia breathed, "Are you ok?"

He sighed and kissed her neck one last time before reaching up and sliding his fingers through her hair. She smiled at his touch, but her eyes were worried. She let her hands rest on his chest, right over his heart where they belonged. "Ok?" he questioned.

Kaia nodded, staring up at him, "You seem sort of...tired. And I've pushed all of this on you..."

Kaleb sunk down next to her and pulled her against his chest. She snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his arm. "I'm better now that I know you're alright," Kaleb said, inhaling Kaia's scent. Even if this was one of her dreams, she smelled the same, like soft vanilla.

"This is real, right?" Kaleb asked, suddenly worried that it wasn't, that this was just his head showing him what he wanted to see.

Kaia smiled, "It's real. I suspected I'd be able to find my way into your dreams again if I tried and fell asleep thinking about you. Then here I was," Kaia said, "Unless you're not real and I failed..."

Kaleb grinned and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger by hers, "I'm real."

"Good. Me, too," Kaia whispered. They lay there together like that for a while. Then, finally, Kaia said the words Kaleb didn't want to hear. "Did you talk to Cole?"

Kaleb sighed. He didn't want to talk about this. He tried to pretend that they could stay there together forever. But it was a dream, and you always have to wake up in the morning. "I talked to Cole. He figured it out," Kaleb said finally.

Kaia sighed out of relief, "Thank god. I was worried he wouldn't remember."

Kaleb smiled and touched Kaia's face, "I learned something about you, you know."

Kaia blushed, "Oh no, what did Cole tell you?"

"Not much," Kaleb answered, "I learned about Mizpah, what you told your brother. It only confirmed my theory that you're the most amazing person in the world."

"Your theory?" she prodded.

"I'm gathering evidence," Kaleb confirmed, nodding. She laughed, and Kaleb clung to that sound like it was life or death.

But her mirth faded quickly. For some reason, Kaia suddenly frowned. Her expression darkened, and she met Kaleb's eyes. "Kaleb, I have to ask you something. You have to tell me the full truth, ok?"

Kaleb stiffened a bit. She sounded serious. What had happened? "What is it?" he asked, worried.

Kaia bit her lip and then took a deep breath. "Why did you kill Grayson?"

Kaleb hadn't been expecting that. Why had he killed Grayson? The old wolf had tried to kill Kaleb first. No, maybe it was because he'd put Kaia in danger. Or perhaps it was because he'd made Kaleb look weak as an Alpha, threatened Kaleb's position. He wasn't sure. "Kaia, why are you thinking about this? That's over."

Kaia shook her head and sat up, depriving Kaleb of her warmth. "No, it's not over, because I can't stop thinking about it. Jack said that-"

"Jack?" Kaleb demanded, sitting up beside her, "Who's Jack? Is that his name?"

Kaia sighed, "Yes, that's his name."

"Kaia, what happened when you went to find him? What's going on in your head? I can't help you if you don't tell me," Kaleb said. He reached out to take her hand, but she recoiled from his touch.

Kaleb's heart cracked. It was a big, gruesome fissure in his chest. For a second, Kaleb couldn't breathe. He could have sworn he'd even heard the sound of it happening, like lightning tearing the sky open.

And Kaia noticed. She must have seen it, because she immediately reached for him, taking his face in her hands. "Listen, Kaleb. Jack is like me. He's got...mind powers like I told you. I think he's gotten inside of my head. I'm sorry, but I'll beat him. I will. And I'll find out where this mind-reading thing comes from. I have so many theories like we're both aliens or someone's experimented on us in secret, like in the movies."

Kaleb would have laughed if the subject hadn't been as sober as it was. He did not think aliens were involved. If anything, both Kaia and Jack were from some odd lycanthrope vein Kaleb had never heard of, one whose members didn't shift and had supernatural abilities. The average wolf or human wouldn't have reacted to the wolfsbane the way she did so there must have been a mysterious third option.

Kaia was scared, but her explanation as to why she'd withdrawn from him made sense. Kaia wouldn't recoil unless something was seriously wrong. It didn't hurt as much when Kaleb knew it wasn't her choice, when he could blame it on this murderer. "Kaia, you need to get away from him," Kaleb begged. If he lost Kaia, he'd fall right back into that dark place where he'd spent his life. The sky would be black without his moon and stars. "I know you need answers, but if you come back, we can find them together." He said the words, but they fell short; he didn't believe she'd had any other choice.

Kaia ran her thumb along Kaleb's lips, such a gentle touch. It melted him. "I know, but I've...been thinking about the past a lot recently. And I think I need to understand it to move on with my life. I won't be complete until I do. I don't think Jack is the kind of person who would do anything he doesn't want to do; there is no way he'll let this go or answer my questions without it being personal. I need to be here."

He hated it, but he believed her. She knew Jack better than Kaleb did, and it felt like this was the only way she could find her truth. Kaleb hesitated, "The past? You mean your mom?" He touched her wrist softly, a little contact to reassure her.

Kaia nodded, "That's part of it. But also...yours."

Kaleb's mouth went dry. He wished he could push a button and erase her question. Even if it turned out that she wasn't biologically human, Kaia had lived a decidedly human life. Kaleb didn't know if she'd understand his past. "Kaia, I-"

She must have seen the hesitation in his eyes because she immediately pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back because he couldn't do anything else, he was useless against her. But it was a weak kiss on his part.

"Listen, Kaleb," she whispered into his ear, wrapped her arms around his neck, "I realized that I love you. I want to trust the part of my heart that wants to scream that to the world. But to do that, I need to know the truth. I need to hear it all."

Something about Kaia's eyes told Kaleb that she was serious; they were silently begging him. She needed this. And no matter how much it might hurt him, how scared he was of telling someone what his life had been...he would do this. For her.

"When I was a kid," Kaleb started quietly. Kaia deserved this from him so he'd give her all of it. "My father was Alpha. And he was probably the best Alpha that the world has ever seen. Everyone admired him, and my mother, too. They were loved, and earned respect even from the Hunters."

"Alpha Alexander," Kaia said, "And Luna Melody. Jaeda told me about them, about how they created the Accords. That's how Hunters and Lycanthrope tolerate each other."

Kaleb nodded, taking Kaia's hand. "So the Prowlers took a heavy blow when both of their beloved leaders were murdered by another Pack. It was senseless, meaningless slaughter."

Kaia's hand tightened around Kaleb's, but she stayed silent, just listened to him. Somehow, Kaleb felt lighter, like he was on a hot air balloon and was unloading pounds and pounds, floating higher into the sky towards the moon.

Kaleb braced. He knew what he had to say would be hard, but he also knew that Kaia wouldn't take it well. "I was there when I lost my parents. I saw them die."

As Kaleb had expected, she was crying almost immediately. "Y-You what?" Somehow, watching her like this felt right. Seeing her in pain hurt him just as much as it always had, but Kaleb had barely cried for his parents. The shock had put his life on pause for years. Now that he thought about it, maybe he'd never woken up, not until he met his mate.

"Kaia," Kaleb breathed, wearing his admiration like a badge. He reached forward and cupped her cheek, "I lived."

"I'm sorry," Kaia whimpered. Kaleb smiled and went to kiss her tears, as always. But this time it was different. When her tears were for him, they tasted sweeter. He hurt a bit, but in a good way, like his lungs had been resting still for years and he was finally breathing normally.

"Part of life is playing the hand dealt you," Kaleb said, "I became Alpha by name when I was young, and Rosy's husband Ben, the man in charge of Lunar Ceremonies, took charge until I was old enough. Then everything fell on my shoulders."

"And you became an amazing Alpha," Kaia said.

Kaleb looked down, "Maybe. But being Alpha isn't what I thought it was going to be. I'm the one that has to make hard decisions for my Pack." Kaia nodded slowly.

"So, to answer your question, there are multiple reasons why I killed Grayson. Because he tried to kill me. Because he threatened my leadership and stirred up conflict in my Pack. Or because he hurt you."

"But did you have to kill him?" Kaia asked.

Kaleb shook his head, "Honestly, no. I could have exiled him, but there's always a chance he could join another Pack or remain a Rogue and work against the Prowlers that way. It's also very likely that the Pack would have condemned him to death, anyway, a death more painful than the one I gave him. Showing mercy towards such a grievous offense is..."

"You couldn't, could you? You had to kill him, because otherwise you'd lose the Prowlers," Kaia said quietly.

They were silent for a long time and then Kaleb took a deep breath and met her eyes. "Being Alpha is impossible, sometimes. But know, Kaia, that I wouldn't have killed him if I thought I had another viable option. Part of it was an impulse, but since I've met you, I've been in better control of myself."

"When you saved my life the first time, you didn't kill that lycanthrope," Kaia remembered.

Kaleb nodded, "That was just a warning that no one should hurt you. And I could heal your wounds, so I was able to control myself. He wasn't a member of my Pack; punishing him would have been a violation of Pack peace treaties."

"I do remember them healing quicker than normal," Kaia said, her voice a bit lighter. Kaleb breathed a sigh of relief. Had she accepted him as he was? But, then again, what had he thought was going to happen? That she'd reject him?

The truth was that Kaleb was an Alpha. He was a reflection of the world around him, of lycanthrope society and norms. He'd killed Grayson because it was what the rest of the world would have done. Kaia probably only had an issue with it because of how different the human world was.

"Kaia, I know that it was selfish for me to get close to you as I have. I should have just left you in your human world where you'd have been safe. You're in danger now, and it's because of me. So, I'm sorr-"

"Don't apologize, Kaleb. I'm in your world because I want to be, not because you made me come here. Because I love you," Kaia said.

"I love you, too," he said, glad that now she knew, "My moon." She had his words; she could always remember them. Even when she had to go back to whatever place she was, to Jack, she could carry that piece of him with her.

She smiled and touched his chin, enjoying his blush. She winked, "Don't worry. I already knew that."

He smiled, "You know everything, don't you?"

Her smile faltered. She looked like she was about to cry again, "Hey, I'll see you for real, soon. Everything will be perfect and we'll be together again, and you can kiss me while we're awake."

Kaleb smiled, "I'd like nothing better."

"If I had a heart, I'm sure I'd be touched. But, unfortunately for you, I lost it long ago." Kaleb froze and looked around the room, searching for the source of that echo of a voice. But no one was here. And when he looked back to Kaia, she'd vanished, too.

"You see, Alpha of Whispers, I was going to leave you alone. Live and let live, yes? But, it seems you're going to be more of a nuisance than I thought. So..."

The voice sounded familiar. Kaleb had heard it before. The memory was black and foul around the edges of his consciousness, but he couldn't grasp it yet. "I'll be taking Kaia. She'll choose me, whether she knows it yet or not. She belongs with me, you see. So, if you attempt to steal her from me, I promise that I'll take something precious of yours in return."

And then he shimmered into existence before Kaleb, standing right in the middle of Kaleb's room, his hands behind his back.

Kaleb's blood froze. He knew this person. A dark specter, the same one that had haunted him for years, appeared out of the fog. He felt the animal in him surge forward, fury tearing through his body.

The wolf wanted to crush the little boy in him that was afraid, that was weak. The wolf just wanted blood.

...Right? *internally screams*

Shiny stars and lovely comments? Thanks, guys. I adore you all.

*rolls in votes* Thanks for these, btw. Issamiracle.