Chapter 24

"I don't know if we should go..." I say as I look around the bedroom we had been sharing with Cameron for the last few days. "I mean, maybe we should just get back to New York or something. Or maybe we can do something."

"New Years is supposed to be for trying new things!" E.J. exclaimed jumping up and down on the bed. "Besides... I will protect you. You don't need to be afraid. Nobody will hit on you."

"Yeah. Good point. I will leave my mask here, that way everyone will stay clear of me," I mumble under my breath as I sit down on the floor and open my backpack, starting to pull out clothing.

What does one even wear to a gay club? I've never been in one, and somehow I have never thought about going to one. I've been to a club or two back in the day with my fake ID, but that seemed to become a load more difficult to do when I got half my face burned off.

I pull out hoodie after hoodie out of my bag, holding them up in front of me before tossing it to the side. Just as I started checking out a red sweater that I used to like once upon a time I felt E.J.'s hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't mean it that way," E.J. whispers.

"Mean what?"

"That nobody would hit on you because of your face. I just meant... You would be with me and Cameron. And Cameron seems to know his way around. He said we could stay in the back, in his dressing room when he's not on stage," E.J. answered, his other hand finding my other shoulder from behind.

I didn't try to stop the shivers going through my body at his touch. For once I took it for myself. Just sitting there, allowing the person I'm in love with to just touch and support me, making me want to turn around into his arms, and for once not be the strong one. For once being the one being held. Perhaps even the one who could become part of someone else and tell them, just like I told Cameron about my sexuality.

"I know," I answer. "I know you don't really see my face as gross and everything, but not everyone is you."

Before E.J. had a chance to answer me, Cameron came breaking out of the bathroom, the door slamming against the wall as he pranced out in a long pink sequin dress.

"Make way for Lady Lalaland!" he shouted, modelling up and down the room. His blonde hair falling over his shoulders as he walked. I couldn't help thinking that he looked a little bit like a Barbie doll, his breasts just a little too big, his waist a bit too narrow, and his eyelashes so long that I couldn't understand how he could see through it.

"He looks amazing..." I said, my mouth hanging open as I eyed Cameron up and down. It was like meeting some celebrity that you can't believe is real now that you are meeting them. As if they only existed on the TV and in tabloids.

"It's not he! It's she now!" E.J. hissed as he slapped me against my shoulder, his warm hands on me long gone.

"Oh for Cher's sake! It's still he!" Cameron shouted and then walked over to us. "You are very uninformed for a gay boy E.J. I'm not trans. I'm just another cock in a frock."

To my amazement Cameron burst out laughing. Maybe at my face. Maybe he was laughing at E.J. who looked shocked, his turn for having his mouth hanging open now.

"Isn't that offensive?" E.J. asked with his eyes wide.

"Why?" Cameron asked as he sat down on the bed, reaching for some high heels standing next to the bed. Cameron was already tall, and I had no idea how tall he would be with stilettos on, but I was eager to see the finished picture.

"Easy. I am a boy. A guy. I have a dick. Dressing up in girls clothing isn't a kink for me, or because I am actually a girl trapped in a boy's body. Lady Lalaland is my creation. My character. She is completely separate from me. She gives me a voice to express and say the things I can't seem to say when I am just Cameron. She is my brave side, or something like that. Think about it as having a friend inside you, or a character that you create, who kinda grows with you. You get it, right handsome?"

Cameron looked at me as if I should have the answer but I didn't say a word. I have no idea how much of his past Cameron has shared with E.J. I don't know if E.J. knows everything about the rape and the abuse that created Lady Lalaland. Lady Lalaland wasn't just a character for Cameron. He needed her to be completely separate from him. She was his saviour. His friend. His voice. And sometimes even the one that made sure that Cameron would always be alive and happy.

"I think I'm maybe just confused. I don't get out much," E.J. whispers, looking down to the carpet, making me get up from the floor as well and stand next to him. I want so badly to take his hand, but I don't. Once again being the coward. I sometimes wish I had a Lady Lalaland inside me, someone who could set me free and make me feel brave.

"It's okay honey. I guess you should get onto social media a little bit more. Or maybe just watch some old reruns of Rupaul's Drag Race," Cameron answers as he stands up, now fully dressed from head to toe.

Once again my jaw dropped. Cameron was now probably more than a head taller than me, so tall in fact that I had to lift my head to look past his fluttering eyelashes and into his eyes.

I had been wrong the whole time. Lady Lalaland wasn't the one that made Cameron brave. She towered out over the world. She looked over everyone around her. She was higher, like on a pedestal or something, daring the world to try and take her down. She wasn't just brave. She was invincible.

"Close your mouth handsome," Cameron said as a perfectly manicured hand reached over and pushed against the bottom of my jaw, closing my mouth. "Rather show me what you guys are wearing."

"A pair of stilettos if I had some," I mumble as I turn around and pick up the red sweater.

"Hmm... Well darling... Red? Nobody will be able to miss you. Maybe you should try it on," Cameron says as E.J. rushes over to the other side of the bed, grabs his bag and heads into the bathroom. No doubt going to dress himself up as well.

Feeling the courage from Cameron's transformation coursing through my body, I pull the hoodie and shirt I have on over my head, leaving me standing in front of Cameron without a shirt, before grabbing the sweater and pulling it over my head.

"Oh dear..." Cameron says, shaking his head from side to side. "Oh my dear Britney Spears..."

"What?" I ask, looking down. "Is there something wrong with it?"

I start to grab the sweater, wanting to take it off immediately to try and inspect it better, but before I have the chance, Cameron's soft hands with the long nails close around my wrists, making me look him straight in the eyes.

"There will not be a guy in there who will want to keep their eyes off you, handsome. Red is your colour and that sweater shows off a body nobody knows you are hiding. So smile, wave, and just be yourself," Cameron says as he leans over and gives me a little kiss on my forehead just as E.J. opens the bathroom door and walks out, dressed from head to toe.

"You look great," I say as I pull my wrists from Cameron's hands, walking over to E.J.

"Sure it's not too much?" E.J. asks, but I can't answer. I have never seen him look like this. I'm used to seeing him in baggy jeans, oversized shirts, and hair over his eyes.

"You look perfect," Cameron says, his pink lips breaking into a smile. "I am totally feeling those skinnies on you baby!"

"Oh, these old things?" E.J. says giving a twirl, which shows off an incredible ass, before he turns back.

It's not like I have never seen E.J's body before, but never like this. E.J. has always tried his best to dress in a way that nobody would see him, but this time he looked... Normal? Sure, he was still wearing some heavy eyeliner, and he was wearing a long sleeved Pikachu shirt with suspenders. But he was actually wearing colour. He wasn't just dressed in black.

I looked him over once more. Black converse with yellow laces. White skinny. Yellow shirt, with a red tongue sticking out of Pikachu's mouth right where E.J's navel should be. Red suspenders. And his hair...

"I never knew you had curly hair," I say, looking at him again, thinking back at my guilty pleasure back when everything in my life was still fine and my mom was still alive. It was like E.J. took his inspiration and natural hair from Blaine in Glee.

"Yeah... Not that much though. This took a little bit of work to get it looking like this. So don't touch it yet. I don't want it to fall flat," E.J. answers. "So, are we getting the hell out of here?"

"I might need someone to carry my luggage," Cameron said in his Lady Lalaland voice, which seemed to be just a little bit higher and sweeter than his own.

"I've got it," I say, running over to the bathroom to grab the pink Gucci case that Cameron dragged into the room with quite a bit of trouble.

By the time I heaved the luggage case onto my shoulder, following the other two, Cameron had already left the room, only E.J. still there waiting to close and lock the door behind me.

"You look fucking amazing," I whisper as I walk past him, and I think for a moment that I see E.J. smile and blush before I start making my way down the stairs; E.J. just a few steps behind me.