Chapter 339

Chapter 339

Translator: yun

After being pushed back, Castor looked down at the diary nonchalantly before wiping the blood off this cheek. The diary quickly summoned a white spherical field between us and him before quickly turning her back around.

[You cannot change the past]

“But what I just saw...”

[They’re lies!]

The diary’s breath hitched.

[He fooled you by placing you in that timeline. He made you think. That you could change the past!]

“You mean the timeline where I met the Castor from the past?”

[Correct. Let me repeat myself. You didn’t change the past. If you had tried to kill that Castor, you would have been ejected from that timeline.]

“W-why?”

[Not even god can change the past. For time that has already passed, even the gods can do nothing to change it.]

Even whilst the diary spoke quickly, I could tell she was still empathetic to my feelings. Her expression twisted to one of sorrow.

[It had been very hard for me to convey this truth, especially to you.]

The girl in front of me was clearly the diary, but she was shedding tears as though she was human.

[I didn’t want you to get hurt anymore.]

I had never thought myself to be fortunate for having the diary in my life. I had always considered it a lump of baggage, the symbol of my misery and despair. But the same diary was crying for me with worry.

[It felt as though that was the last thing I could do for you.]

A familiar light burst out from beneath my feet. This was the same light that would appear every time I moved through space and time.

However, unlike before, the light was now of a light purple colour.

“W-Why are you doing this? I-I hate you.”

[I know. You had no choice but to hate me. Especially since, I’ve always been telling you about your deaths, haven’t I?]

She had the same face as mine but her smile looked remarkably different.

[You might not remember this. But back when you were much younger, you treated me like a real person.]

The diary enunciated her words clearly.

[As though you were my actual owner, you never abandoned me.]

Just then, with an ear-splitting sound, the white field spouted a crack. The sword peeking out of that opening soon shattered the rest of the field. But my body had already been surrounded by light.

[Go take a break, strengthen your will before coming back.]

As though she was reading through me, the diary flashed another slight smile.

[Goodbye, my owner.]

I spotted a huge sword piercing through her stomach.

[I hope you’ll get to find your happiness now. Please. I’m sorry for everything.]

After the girl’s figure vanished, in her place, a notebook with a hole in the middle was left.

As Castor reached his hand towards me, everything soon disappeared.

***

Once I could feel the ground, tears erupted from my eyes. Even now, I was being saved once again by someone’s sacrifice and had survived alone.

Why was I always the one being forced to live by myself? The more this happened, the more disgusted I was with myself for failing to kill Castor.

“What’s the point of shedding blood for me? What’s the point!”

My divinity responded to the intensity of my emotions as a vine wrapped around the back of my hand. Before I knew it, I slammed my hand down with the thorny vine wrapped around my hand. It didn’t matter if the thorns dug into my skin even as I slammed my hand down again. I was making a mess but I didn’t care. To me, it didn’t hurt.

“Damn it.”

I no longer cared what space or timeline I landed in as I continued striking my hand against the ground continuously. So, when someone finally stopped me, I realised that I hadn’t been here alone.

“... This was not the point of the power I gifted you.”

When I looked up, tears rolled down my cheeks instantly. I collapsed helplessly in the face of the figure I had longed for.

“A-Amor?”

Right in front of my eyes, he was smiling relaxedly. No, I might be too young to see apparitions but who cared? He was right in front of me now.

“Amor... Amor...! Are you real this time?”

I couldn’t breathe. I was so happy, it felt as though he was choking me. You were right in front of me. You were.

“Re-ally... Is it really you?”

My trembling hands slipped off his clothes because they were shaking too much.

“Have I ever been fake?”

He scoffed as though he found that thought ridiculous as he flicked my forehead before pulling me closer. It was only in his wide and comfortable embrace did I regurgitate the tears I had been suppressing this whole time.

The scent of flowers, trees and the refreshing air of forests. It was all him.

“You’d hate to be with a murderer...”

I murmured as I covered my face with my palm but before I could finish, a determined voice fell upon me.

“That’s a silly concern for you to have.”

“... What?”

“Rosé, how many people do you think I’ve killed?”

He gently unclenched my fist. Puzzled, I stared until I realised that it had been a surprise gift.

“Those who had eaten the poison I made would still be crying from the pain in the underworld.”

He slowly continued, as he admitted to the sins he committed while he was trapped in his palace, acting as the emperor’s hands and feet.

“And...”

His gaze looked cold and determined.

“A man like brother deserves to die. Wouldn’t you just be acting as a human butcher?”

He smiled as feistily and cynically as he did when I first met him.

“You can’t call someone, who’s lower than trash, human and you have no need to feel guilty for killing such a thing.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s lower than trash.”

His fierce expression after his scathing comments made me burst out laughing.

“But I haven’t killed him yet.”

“Wouldn’t that make your concerns even sillier?”

He remarked impatiently.

“And also. You are an emperor who has already led a war.”

“Ah.”

After a pause, I realised what he was trying to tell me.

‘Why hadn’t I realised till now?’

I was the emperor. The lives that had died and passed during the war had not been my responsibility. Because it was one that had been started by two monsters.

“It’s strange.”

I didn’t want to be a man like Castor. And I had always thought I didn’t. Even now, my desire remained the same.

But I had been weighing lives depending on whether their deaths had been intentional or not. Even if I felt nothing from the fact, at the very least, a gravestone had been erected in my heart for those who passed in the war.

In that sense, I already had blood on my hands. Whether I killed Castor or not.

Now that I thought about it, I realised that I had been obsessing over whether or not to kill him.

“Why have you been so fixated on this one thing?”

Suddenly, it felt like my mind had cleared up.

“That’s exactly how brother manipulates people.”

Amor muttered with anger and a tinge of sorrow.

“Don’t lose.”

He held me in his arms. And the hands that were holding onto me felt firm. This instance in his embrace felt like a dream.

“Didn’t you say that you would meet me again?”

I hesitated.

“Didn’t you say you could come find me along with spring?”

I forced my head up to face him.

“... Mhm.”

For some reason, tears were filling my eyes again for a reason different from before.

“I will still love you even if you end up destroying the world.”

Even though he was older now, Amor still loved me.

“So, don’t doubt my love for you over such a trivial thing. I won’t forgive you for that.”

Smiling slightly, Amor tilted his head. I closed my eyes as I waited for him to come closer.

“I’ll be waiting.”

The lips that landed on my forehand, my eyes, my nose and lastly my lips felt like snowflakes. His lips remained on mine for the longest time. Till the point I found myself gasping for breath.

He raised his head for a bit before murmuring lowly, “That wasn’t just the wind, was it?”

He then whispered again, “If I criticise you again in the future, you have to stop me.

“Everything else.”

He pressed his lips to mine again. And I thought back to the words he uttered that fateful day.

“Will be in the future.”

A templar’s kiss was a blessing.