Chapter ten | Assumption assumptions

Chapter ten | Assumption assumptions

"Did you sleep with Andrea's boyfriend, Cynthia?"

I froze as his words registered in my mind. Everything that I had planned was crumbling down, right in front of my eyes.

Eli stared, waiting for me to react in some way. His eyes were scrutinizing my every expression, making my walls scale up to the sky. I could feel the sudden distance between us as I closed myself off to him.

"W-who told you that?" I stammered. My voice came out weaker than I want it to, making me clear my throat.

Eli sighed at my question and shook his head. "It doesn't matter who told me that. Tell me the truth, Cynthia. That's all I am asking for." His voice soft but still held some firmness.

I wanted to scream the truth at him, tell him what was eating me on the inside, but I was scared. Scared of how he would react. This form of vulnerability didn't sit well with me. I reverted to my shell, hiding away behind my bitch face.

The queen bee facade was my defense, a toxic defense.

My expression twisted to a scowl, and my eyes turned to harsh glares.

"I don't think the answer should concern you in any way," I hissed, planting my hands on my waist.

Startled by my answer, Eli blinked in surprise. He shook his head and tried again. "It concerns me, Cynthia. Are you using me to get Jacob for yourself?"

I could hear the temper and irritation rising through his words, but I didn't pay them any heed. I scoffed at his question and pointed a finger his way.

"Using you?" My words came out in mocking as I gave him an incredulous look. "You are spouting nonsense. I am the one who is helping you. Your nerd self could never grab Andrea's attention let alone be her boyfriend. I think it is you who is using me."

I twisted his words, turning the conversation away from the real topic. The way Eli's nose flared and his eyes narrowed told me that I was successful at the task.

"I didn't come begging for your help. If I recall correctly, it was you. You were the desperate one who had to seek help from this nerd." His words were a venomous hiss as he pointed an accusing finger my way.

"Oh, really? Then why the fuck do you care? Whatever my motives might be shouldn't be any of your concerns. You are getting what you want!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air.

Eli averted his eyes and took in calming breaths. He mumbled something under his breath, which I was sure was something related to Chemistry.

"And now the nerd is babbling his chemistry," I mocked, making him lookup.

"At least I am not the back stabber who slept with her best friend's boyfriend," he retorted.

His words struck a chord inside of me, and like a replay, memories after memories of similar words played through my mind.

You are a disgusting whore who kept such a secret from her best friend.

Do you feel guilty for sleeping with me, Cyn?

She is just a whore, spreads her legs for anyone.

My angry expression washed away as my eyes turned cold. I pulled up my impassive mask, cutting myself off from the world. I couldn't let Elias see the effect his words had on me. I couldn't let him see the vulnerable me.

I can't be weak.

"Yes, I am a back stabbing bitch. So what?" I crossed my arms on my chest, creating an invisible shield between us.

"So, it's true," he huffed. "I should have known that you are a self-centered."

I could feel the tears prickle my eyes, but I held them back. Averting my eyes, I hid my glassy eyes from him.

"If I said no, were you going to believe me?" My voice was firm, but my question was soft. I don't know what I was expecting as an answer, but a burst of mirthless laughter wasn't something I was expecting.

"I might have been stupid enough to fall for this trap earlier. I might have fallen for your words, but now knowing the type of person you are, I can't bring myself to believe you anymore," he said, firing harsh syllables my way.

They didn't leave any wounds on the outside, but on the inside, I was breaking. My soul was withering in pain.

I tried to gather myself before saying anything. Before I could open my mouth to pass any retort, he continued. "I can't believe your audacity, Cynthia. How can you do something like this to your friend? How could you hurt, Andrea? Is Andrea even your friend or you are just playing her into a trap too? I-"

He abruptly halted, pausing mid-rant. Heavy silence engulfed the surrounding air. It was when I took in a labored breath that I realized that I was crying.

Tears after tears marked wet paths down my cheeks, burning my throat with the intensity of the emotions I was feeling.

I heard Elias take a step closer to me, making me move away from him. "Stop it, Elias. You have said what you wanted to say. I don't need pity after hearing the truth."

Elias groaned at the back of his throat and took another step closer. I gave him my back and took another step away.

"I-I am sorry. I-I didn't m-mean it-" he tried to apologize, but I wasn't taking any of that.

I scoffed and wiped my tears. Turning around with my eyes burning with tears and my nose red in anger, I pointed a finger at him. "Don't lie, Elias. You meant every word you said. Finally, what you and almost everyone think about me is out." I gave a mirthless chuckle at the end.

"Cynthia, I-" Elias started.

"You are sorry?" I completed it for him. "Well, don't be!" I shook my head. My eyes welled with more tears as I unleashed my inner pain. "What you said is absolutely true!"

He went stalk still at my admission. His eyes, which were concerned, froze in shock. With anticipation clear on his face, he waited for me to continue.

"I am the whore who slept with Andrea's boyfriend. YES! I SLEPT WITH JACOB!" I screamed. My breathing was heavy by the time I ended my statement.

I expected some form of disgust to grow upon his face, letting me know how affected he was by my words, but he didn't move. He didn't even move a muscle. A blank look remained on his face as his eyes kept staring my way.

"Why?" he whispered, hesitant to hear the answer. His question wasn't just limited to the reason behind my actions. He wanted to know why I dragged him inside all of this. He had a thousand thoughts running through his mind that demanded an explanation.

"Why?" I tilted my head to a side, giving him a long look. I kept my voice steady, not letting him in anymore. "I don't know. It was before Andrea and Jacob got into a relationship. I was drunk, and so was he. I don't remember what was going through my mind at that moment. Satisfied, Elias?"

The fog in his eyes cleared as sharp regret danced through those icy eyes. He cleared his throat, moving a step towards me.

I raised my hand in a stop sign, halting his movements.

"Now that you have your answer, you can leave. You have already said enough for a day." My voice cracked at the end as my voice let my actual emotions slip through.

"Cynthia..." He trailed off, giving me regretful eyes. "I-"

"Please stop. The damage is already done, Elias. Now just own up to it and leave me alone. I don't want your meaningless apologies," I spoke, turned my back towards him. Pointing towards the door, I gave him a brief look over my shoulder.

"Get out, Elias."

I heard him sigh heavily as my eyes stared at the closed blinds. My eyes were burning with tears as I held back my urge to sob. Biting my lips hard enough to draw blood, I acted strong in front of him.

The sounds of steps retreating filled the room, followed by the voice of the closing door. I kept my eyes on the wall all the time. It was when I heard the front door close shut, that I let myself break down.

I crumbled on the floor, breaking down in tears. Sobs wracked through my body as breathing became harder by every passing second. Laying my head against the carpet, I let myself cry.

My body turned to a fetal position as if trying to save me from the burn of his words. Harsh words echoed through my mind as the last of me crumbled into a heap of broken shards.

I cried myself to sleep that night, right there on the floor.