29

Word Count: 2189

~Dove

Of all the possible mistakes I've stumbled into, this may be my biggest one.

I don't know what I'm doing, but I've decided to banish all rational thought in favour of tipsy impulse. Even in spite of the wine now curdling unfavourably in my stomach.

I'm at Claude's door because I'm sabotaging myself, and because Varian's request for me to come to his room has gotten into my head.

I know what will happen if I go there, and it's the marks fault.

So I stand at Claude's door, deciding that if I'm going to get the pleasure I'm craving, I'm going to get it in spite of the Alpha.

I pound on the door before stepping back. If Claude has brought his date up here...I think I will collapse from embarrassment.

I shift from foot to foot. Shamefully, I left my heels back in Dev and I's guest suite, and my dress is half undone at the back. I'm not going to be needing any of it for what I have planned tonight anyway.

Mercifully, he's alone as he opens the door to his suite.

A surprise flutters in his eyes upon seeing me.

"Dove-"

I cut him off as I press past him and into his room.

His bed is mostly undisturbed aside from a crease where he must have been sitting. He's taken off his jacket, slumping it over the edge of his headboard.

I take a single breath before I seemingly come to my senses. Turning on my heel, I barge back past Claude and into the hallway.

"Nope."

He watches me, bemused as I wrangle my thoughts.

"Ah, never mind. I've committed now." I step back into his room, pulling the door closed.

He quirks a brow. "Everything alright?"

"Not exactly." I sweep my hair back so it's completely off my face, feeling the dampness of sweat starting to gather on my skin. "Tell me why I shouldn't go to Varian's room."

He angles his head. "Free will?"

I sigh through my nose. I know I'm only in this room because I can feel my self control slipping, and distracting myself with Claude is far better than giving into my desire for Varian.

I'm just hoping my dignity will be salvageable by morning.

"I'm going to need something better than that." I start pacing, built up anxious energy urging my every step back and forth.

For the first time since I've met him, Claude looks disarmed and uncertain. His usual cockiness has taken a backseat as he tries to decipher what my intentions are.

"You wanted to come to my room to be with me?" He offers with a shrug, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"I...I don't know why I came here. I don't like blood."

Having my skin sliced open so I can bleed all over Claude's sheets while he fucks me does not sound appetising. I may not have had sex in what feels like forever due to the mark, but I don't miss it enough to indulge Claude's fantasies.

His eyes darken, his uncertainty melting away. "My offer to vanilla, run of the mill sex is on the table."

"And that's all you want? Just sex?" I ask cautiously.

Sex with Claude could be fun...I'm not anywhere near attracted to him like I am with Varian, but it doesn't have to mean anything. It can just feel good, that's it.

He steps forward. "Are you offering more?"

I quickly shake my head. I'm still trying to convince myself into this as it is.

"And you would fuck me despite the mark?" I question, rubbing my arm. "Despite your best friends scent being all over me?"

It feels as though the mark is protesting my decision. Blood is thumping through it, creating an ache that has me shifting my weight onto my other leg.

"It wouldn't be the first time Varian and I have shared women," he admits, smoothing the palm of his hand over his buzzed scalp. "He owes me anyway. You were mine to begin with."

I ignore the last part. "It's just, I haven't had sex in an entire year. Men undress me and they see the mark and they get too scared of Varian retaliating that they leave me hanging."

Some can't tell the mark was caused by Varian, they just know it's important, and that's enough to send them running.

Claude only laugh. "Smart men. He would kill them."

"Would he kill you?" I fold my arms. I don't actually believe Varian would resort to that over me, but the matter still stands.

He shrugs, the spark in his eyes suggesting Varian's reaction only adds to his fun. "It would be worth it."

"Seriously. He would scent you all over me tomorrow," I remind him.

Claude has gone from wanting to protect Varian's feelings, to being entirely okay with fucking his mark. He either has something against his friend, or he is willing to risk everything to have one night with me.

Any other time it would probably be enough to send me out the door. But I hate Varian, and his suffering pleases me immensely.

"Like I said, he owes me."

"Why? Why risk it just to have sex with me?" I question, unable to stamp down my curiosity.

He closes the gap between us, his proximity making my skin tingle. I'm really doing this, really committing to a night with him.

"You're beautiful and sexy and the moment you stabbed me in the leg with a fork I knew I wanted you badly." He smirks, his gaze dropping to take in my body. "Plus I like what I can't have, and you've denied me a lot."

I roll my eyes, but my own sturdiness is waning. "You're so strange."

"Why are you really here, Dove?" He murmurs, reaching out to brush his fingers against my cheek. I shiver at the impossibly light touch.

I swallow thickly, wishing I didn't want to be truthful right now, but I do. "I'm scared I'm going to be stupid enough to go to his room and the mark will do what it does and make me want him..."

A frown touches his forehead. "That's not how a mark works."

"Oh?"

"It doesn't alter your emotions. Sure, there's a connection there, but it doesn't control how you feel." His hand continues down to cup my jaw.

This entire time I thought the mark was what gave him a semi-permanent place in my mind. I thought the mark was what has been causing all this attraction I have toward him, that I can't seem to shake no matter how desperately I want to.

"So...me wanting him is all me," I clarify, the realisation making me shudder.

He drops his hand, nodding grimly. "Pretty much."

"Then it's probably a good thing I'm here and not in his room." I back away a step, needing a chance to breathe.

"Most likely," he says.

This only proves I need to stay away from Varian. A year wasn't enough to get him out of my head. I'll just have to tell Eden and Ciella that when we meet up again, it will have to be away from him.

I look over his body. He's tall and lean and I know he would be decent in bed. This doesn't have to be complicated...it can just be one night, one moment with him that we can forget about by morning.

"I haven't had sex in a long time and I'm really craving it," I admit slowly.

He grins, stretching his arms out. "Come here then."

"I'm doing this because I hate him and he deserves it." I take a single step toward him.

He doesn't move, waiting for me to finish justifying the choice I'm going to make. "If you say so, Dove."

"And I like sex...and..."

Claude's carefully concealed patience shatters abruptly as he closes in on me, grabbing my face as his mouth meets mine.

I freeze, overcome with a flood of emotions.

This is happening. This is really happening.

I press back into his kiss, trying to match his desperation. It's an impossible task as his tongue invades my mouth, claiming as much space in as little time as possible.

My yelp gets caught in my throat as his hands seize the front of my dress, yanking at it. The fabric whines as it tears, soft panels falling away from the split in the front.

In the back of my mind, I can hear Dev yelling at me for letting Claude ruin his creation.

His hands shift to my arms, turning me toward the bed, never releasing me from his kiss. It's rough and searching, like he's trying to convince me that this is right, that I made the right decision coming to his room tonight.

Although I'm starting to realise this was a massive mistake.

He's a good enough kisser, but it doesn't feel right. Every path his hands made down my body send my pulse jumping, and not for a good reason.

It's not what I want. Not what I need.

Planting both hands against his chest, I shove him off me.

"I'm sorry Claude." I take a few steps back, wiping the taste of him off my mouth with the back of my hand.

He rubs his face, pain etching into his features. "You really know how to make a man insane."

I'm breathing so rapidly my lungs are burning. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have dragged him into my mess.

"You don't deserve this," I stammer.

"Go to him." He points at the door, the heat in his eyes dissipating. "There's something more than a mark in the way of this. I won't get in between."

I shake my head. He's wrong, there isn't anything more between Varian and I. There must be more to the mark that is distorting my sense.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be." He offers a smile, but it's weak and unconvincing. "Without the blood, it's not that fun anyway."

I could stay here all night to apologise for dragging him into this, but I need to get out of here.

"Okay, I'm going to go." I back toward the door.

He waves me off dismissively, turning his back. I slip out into the hallway, holding my ruined dress against my chest as I dash back to the room Dev and I are sharing.

I barge straight in, noting my friend lying on his stomach, his pillow scrunched up half in his arms, and half under his head.

"Dev!"

He lurches up suddenly, flipping over.

"Holy fuck woman!" He gasps out, resting a hand on his heaving chest. "I thought Varian finally snapped and came to gut me."

I grimace. "Oh, did I wake you?"

He sweeps his loose hair off his face, rubbing his eyes. All the alcohol he has been drinking tonight clearly drove him to sleep.

"It's fine." His mouth drops open as he takes me in. "No! The dress I spent a week on."

"I'm so sorry." I rush over to the side of the bed, sitting next to him. "I nearly had sex with Claude."

His eyes widen. "You what?"

He hasn't even heard the worst part. I'm about to do what I swore I wouldn't do tonight. I can't help myself. Varian asked me to come speak to him tonight, and I'm far too curious to not do so.

"But I didn't want it," I explain, watching the drowsiness vanish from his face. "So now I'm going to Varian's room and-"

He straightens, wearing a bright grin. "You're going to fuck the Alpha?"

"No-"

"Oh shit, good for you." He nudges me, his eyes gleaming.

"Deven, no-"

"Let me know how that goes." He adjusts his pillow before leaning back against the headboard. "I bet he fucks hard you know."

I groan, my head falling into my hands. I'm not surprised Dev is cosigning my self destructive behaviour.

"I'm not going to sleep with him. I'm going to talk and resolve our problems and leave," I say carefully, even though I'm well aware my resolve might not remain strong.

Dev pulls a knowing face. "Sure."

"No, I'm being serious," I insist.

He nods sarcastically, patting my shoulder. "Okay, I hope that works out for you, friend."

"Promise me you'll do your one duty as my friend and come to his room in twenty minutes to get me if I'm not back in this room by then," I plead. If anyone can snap me back into rationality, it's him.

He gives me a sidelong glance. "You want me to join?"

I roll my eyes. "Deven I swear-"

"Yeah okay, I promise." He flops down deeper under the covers, waving me off. "Now go!"

Chewing on my lower lip, I rise from the bed, turning toward the door. This night isn't over yet.

🤍••🤍

As always, you can read this book 16 chapters ahead on Inkitt and 10 chapters ahead on Radish!

Your support means a lot to me!

~Midika 🐈‍⬛💜