Chapter 38: If I Was Your Woman

Rhiannon

I have been touched by death.

It's not easy being a single child, but both my parents were busy people so I guess I am the product of modern times.

Both my parents were pack warriors, so you could say it's not exactly an ambient conducive to childbearing.

But it's not all bad. As I said before, there are protocols for warriors with pregnant mates and pregnant warriors. Also, my parents' shifts alternate so one of them was always with me.

No couple patrols together for safety issues. Because in case of an attack, their offspring should not lose both parents at once. We are part of a centennial pack, so we've been perfecting our game for decades.

My mom was actually a part of the second class of women admitted to take part in the force. Women used to be prohibited from joining in, told we were too fragile.

Fragile, really?

I had to defeat men twice my size in order to pass the warrior tryout. Yes, I am a legacy kid but Delta Saunders - the highest ranking warrior and second in line of succession after Beta Carillon - wouldn't cut me any slack just because my father works for him.

Trust me, that man didn't cut his own son slack so nepotism is not really a thing for him. In fact, Ares is the most demanded warrior of his generation.

I guess it's a good thing he had a lot of frustrations to work through being unmated for four years. On this, we can relate to each other.

Anyway, it was all going well for my parents.

I grew up having a happy childhood. We live in a small town, so life is simpler than in big cities. My parents loved each other very much, so I had a good example of family and what I should want whenever I'd find my mate.

I was only 11 years old when my father had to sit me down and communicate the unfortunate news that my mother had passed away in the line of duty.

I just couldn't understand why her job was so dangerous. She wasn't a cop, not in the military, an FBI agent or State Police.

I was old enough to understand she was a warrior, but I didn't fully comprehend the intricacies of her employment. I just thought my parents' job was to shift into a wolf and cruise the city perimeter so that no rogue wolf enters our territory.

Werewolves are very possessive creatures, so no one is allowed to enter Regency Falls without the Alpha's permission.

No werewolf, I mean. Humans are not our concern

It took me a long time to properly understand that my mother wasn't killed by a rogue. In fact, she was killed by one of the targeted attacks the Blood Moon pack has orchestrated against us.

It's very rare that our warriors get killed by a rogue because our patrols usually consist of ten warriors, generally outnumbering any unsuspecting rogue.

I took my mom's death really hard. She was everything to me, especially at that tender age when I was just starting puberty, so my mom would have a lot to explain to me.

Instead of her, I had to tell my dad when I got my first period. I am just glad I already knew what to expect since she had already talked to me about it.

Fortunately, I also got the sex talk from her because if it was up to my dad...

'You have to save your flower for when you get your mate. Then you two will embark on this self-discovery journey together.'

Sure, dad. That sounds nice, but what do you tell your hot date when you are at a party and everyone else seems to be hooking up?

I don't mean to sound like I was peer pressured into having sex, but when you're in high school, waiting for your 18th birthday seems so long ahead.

Also, being a teenager with a house all to herself while your father works a 12 hour shift is very dangerous...

Anyway, back to the loss of my mother, I hated the Blood Moon pack for the longest time. I wanted to kill every single last one of them with all my might.

Honestly, if it weren't for my aunt Zelda, growing up motherless would've been impossible. I was angry all the time.

My dad had to put up with a lot of tantrums. I was raging against the universe, the werewolf world for taking my sweet mother away from me. I didn't deserve that and neither did my father who had lost his mate.

With all this in mind, you can see why I had so much trouble with being mated to not only one of their own but their freaking Alpha.

It's like a cruel joke by the Goddess. First, you take away my mother, then you mate me to their Alpha. And not only that but she made me a second chance mate.

A never before seen in history second chance mate.

What's up with that? Help a sister out, please?

All I wanted was a nice, romantic, hard-working, preferably black, honest, faithful man.

We have one of the largest packs in the whole country. Couldn't she have picked one of our own for me? Why did it have to be one of them?

I am at a loss here. I also never in a million years would have thought that I could be mated to an Alpha. Let's just say I am not the mothering type that is required from a Luna.

It's funny. Considering what they did to my mother, you'd think I'd stay away from the same career path as hers.

It was quite the opposite. I hated them so much that I wanted to be there when they attacked again so I could kill as many fuckers as I could.

Anger issues? Girl, please!

When I returned from the 'meet and greet', I stayed over in the pack house drinking with Ares and Landon. I only returned home on Sunday after breakfast.

As soon as I crossed the threshold of my house, my dad came eager to talk to me. He knew why I went over there - he practically carried me along - but we returned separately - he went first with Delta Saunders in the bus - so, he is in the dark about my mating news.

"So... Who is he?" He asked me, anxiously.

"How did you know I even got mated?" I shot back, evading the question.

My dad glared at me for a minute as if I was testing his intelligence.

"Answer the question, young lady." He demanded in his fierce dad tone.

"It's complicated." I replied, releasing a deep sigh. I entered the living room and plopped down on my couch. Dad did the same next to me.

"Why? Is he in college? Is he a warrior too?" He inquired, sounding concerned.

"No, he isn't any one of those things." I replied in a defeated tone.

My dad looked at me puzzled, not having a clue as to who I was talking about.

"Is he white? Because I don't care about that. I care that he's a nice man and a good provider." He said in a soft tone.

"Yes, but I don't care about that either. It's not the problem." I explained, only making him more confused.

"Oh my Goddess! Is it a girl?" He gasped in shock at the realization.

"At this point, I kinda preferred if he were. But I already told you back in high school. I'm not bisexual or gay." I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"Sorry, kiddo. I'm lost here. What's the deal? Is he in prison or something?" Dad was grasping at straws and I was done putting this off.

"No, dad. Though he probably should be behind bars. His name is Aaron Staedler." I finally gave him clearance. Only now he seemed even more confused than before.

"What? But he's already mated. Didn't his mate die on the day of the attack?" Dad asked me, puzzled.

I look at him and he stares at me like I was talking crazy.

"Yes, he is. She died in the attack, correct." I confirmed.

"Then how come you got mated to him? That's impossible!" He gasped in shock.

"I know! But tell it to my wolf! It scented its mate when I was just about to leave their pack house!" I exclaimed, peeved.

"Oh my Goddess! And how did he react?" He was gobsmacked, barely able to grasp this. Me too, dad.

"Well, he pretty much accused Landon of staging the whole thing to get back at him somehow. He didn't believe me at all! His eyes didn't shine." I replied, getting angry at the recent memory.

"To get back at him? Why? Hasn't his mate already died? What could be worse than that?" He cried out, frowning in confusion.

He knows this best. There is nothing worse than losing one's mate. Except maybe losing a child.

"I know, right? That would be the stupidest revenge plan ever! Anyway, he wasn't alone. No one believed me at first. People were already looking at me like I was a lunatic..." I told him, annoyed.

Dad felt sorry for me. He knows the daughter he raised. I may have many flaws, but lack of integrity is not one of them. I mean what I say and speak only the truth.

He hugged me and I took comfort in his loving embrace.

"How did you convince them you weren't crazy?" He asked humorously.

"Well, I jumped on top of Aaron and I kissed him." I replied, causing my dad to get wide-eyed.

"You kissed him? Why?" He was beside himself confused.

"It was the only way I could think of to ignite the mate bond within him." I replied, taken aback by his reaction.

Usually, I don't need to force myself on any man. I also don't pursue men who don't want me. I can take a hint. But what I couldn't allow is for people to think I was delusional.

"And did it work?" Dad was at the edge of his seat, curious.

My face changed to give him a suspenseful gaze.

"Dad, you're not gonna believe it. His mate mark healed right in front of our eyes!" I informed him, whose jaw dropped to the floor.

"What the fuck!? It's impossible for a mate mark to heal!" He gasped in shock.

"Not if you get a second chance mate, apparently." I said in a smug tone.

"Oh my Goddess! What the hell, why were you mated to their Alpha? Is it because he's the true heir to his father and now that his second son is already mated to an Alpha, he's the only choice?" Dad conjectured.

"I don't know, dad. But that's not all that happened yesterday." I told him, who already got wide-eyed in anticipation.

"What? There's more?" He gasped yet again.

"Yeah, I rejected him as my mate." I replied and watched as he was beyond shocked.

This wasn't an ideal situation. Not by a long shot, but I needed to take my power back. And I have no regrets.

There is just one small problem.

How do I stop thinking about him?

From the day I got mated, I haven't been able to get him off my mind. Then he came to see me the following week, I still didn't want to have anything to do with him.

In fact, I told him to go back to his pack and stay there. I don't want to give up my life for no man. I don't want to move away from my home.

I understand it's not exactly "normal" for a 23 years old to live with her dad. But we have a nice thing going on. We get along great.

Sure, there were a lot of conflicts. But we overcame them as father and daughter.

Of course, I knew I'd be mated someday and would make my life with my mate. But I didn't expect to have to move to another city.

I know, it's only 40 minutes away from Regency Falls. Whatever...

On the day of Harry's birthday, we were all blindsided by another second mating. My frenemy Ares got mated to a widower.

We were all baffled by this and I was gobsmacked how quickly they both accepted each other.

One minute Spencer was practically accusing Ares of sexual assault, next thing I know they're both giving the acceptance speech.

What the hell!

And Spencer didn't even believe Ares about being his mate - even though he knew what had happened to me.

Now, I hate to say it but Ares was right.

Spending 4 years waiting around for your mate only to reject him because of one mistake seems harsh.

However, that's not the whole story. I also didn't want to be mated to any damn Staedler.

Unfortunately, we don't get to pick. And if we did, Landon would be long mated. I hate this whole situation, but I hate even more how much he keeps popping up in my head when I least expect it.

It's funny. When my coworkers found out about my mating, they were all gobsmacked. But none of them judged me for rejecting my mate. Everyone knows about my mother and why I do what we do.

Though technically Aaron has no responsibility for claiming my mother's life - he was the same age as me at the time.

Text message to Aaron:

"Hi. It's Rhiannon. I hope you don't mind, I got your number from Landon."

Text message from Aaron:

"Hi, mate. No, I don't mind at all. What can I help you with?"

"Well, I'd like to know what you have been doing since you stopped being Alpha. I know you had to grieve for your mate and I'm sorry for that. But what about now?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Aaron, your cowardly attack taking the life of Alpha Barnett was directly responsible for the strike that took five thousand lives. I wanna know what you have been doing to atone for your mistake."

I stare at my screen waiting for him to reply to my last text. Dots form while he types then stops. Long pause. Then...

"What would you have me do?"

"I'm guessing you already regretted your actions because of the blowback. But what have you done for your pack? For the survivors? I heard Harry volunteered to help people donate the deceased people's clothes and organize their homes. I just wanted to know what YOU have done for your people."

Another long pause. He starts typing but stops. I am half a mind of turning off my phone, then:

"I guess I was so caught up in my own grief that I couldn't see past it. I'm sorry for not being the man that you deserve."

"Don't concern yourself with being the man you think I deserve. Be a better man for your pack. Take action. Take inventory of what has been done and seek ways that you can help the survivors."

"You're right. I should be doing that. It's embarrassing that even my little brother helped out and I didn't. But I promise you that's about to change."

"Don't do it for me. I don't need any promises. What your pack needs is an Alpha who puts their needs first."

"You're right. Thanks for reaching out to me."

"You're welcome. Keep me posted."

I don't know why the hell I was mated to Aaron Staedler. Unfortunately, I will never know and even if I did it wouldn't make any difference.

This is my life. The hand that was dealt to me. I can look at it as a blessing in disguise or a curse. Either way, there is no point in moping.

For whatever reason I was mated to the Alpha, I should probably look at it as if I was such an extraordinary woman the Moon Goddess selected me personally for the position.

Out of all the women she had at her disposal, somehow she picked me. Rhiannon Henderson.

I don't particularly subscribe to the notion that a woman makes a man - though most of them are lost without us, let's be honest.

Anyway, if I was picked for the purpose of getting him out of his way and start behaving like a proper Alpha, then that's what I am gonna do.

If I was hand-picked to be his second mate, it must mean that I am special somehow. I must possess some quality the Goddess saw in me.

And that's how I choose to look at it.

Because if Aaron ever wants to ascend as Alpha again, he needs to put in the work.

He needs to behave as if he earned the job, not simply born for it.

Trust me, I earned my keep. I was raised with the idea that the world doesn't owe me any favors and that whatever I want in life, I need to fight for it.

That's the same concept I see for my mate.

If he wants me, he's gotta earn it.

By the way, do you want to know what I whispered to Aaron before he left on the night of his brother's birthday?

"You're more than your mistakes. You have the potential to be a great Alpha if you believe it. I believe in you."

A|N: I wrote this chapter with this song in mind. I love this rendition and Alicia.

This is the first time I've ever written in a black woman's p.o.v. I loved this picture. It's pretty much who I'd imagine for her.

You know what's coming next.

Love,

Léo.