Chapter 48: What Hurts The Most

Landon

*A FEW YEARS AGO IN SEPTEMBER*

I just started my senior year in high school.

I was off to a great term filled with possibilities and more importantly, the moment I've been waiting for the last few years, when I'd discover my mate who hopefully is gonna be Grayson, my boyfriend of two years.

I wake up to another school day already missing the Summer when I could go back to sleep after breakfast. But now that I started my last year of high school, my dad's expectations for me are gonna reach a new height.

"Good morning, family." I greeted them as I walked inside the dining room. Mom, Clark, and Ella greeted me back.

"Good morning, son. Are you okay to continue your training with Delta Saunders after school? I can't have you slacking now one month away from your 18th birthday." Dad said in his serene Alpha tone.

"Dad, I've never slacked a day in my life. Yes, I'm good to continue my training. What choice do I have?" I said, resigned. There are so many hoops I have to jump to ascend as Alpha that you wouldn't think it's a job I was born to do.

"You could abdicate your position and I'd train Clark for it. How about that?" Dad said in a snarky tone and my brother got a whiplash at the mention of his name.

"Right. And throw away the last 17 years you have been preparing me for it? Sure, dad. Why not? You're the Alpha. Do as you please." I replied, peeved at him.

"The training session starts as soon as you leave school. Go straight to the training center after the final bell. If you are late, I'll hear about it." He told me in a threatening tone.

I grunted in annoyance, but I already knew that was coming. After breakfast, I took my car and stopped by Gustavo's house. We go together to school because his dad says: 'Why spend gas money if you can carpool with your best friend?'

I can't argue against his logic.

"Why the sour face? Did you argue with Gray?" Gustavo asked me as he entered my car parked in front of his house.

"No, my dad. What else? Now that it's senior year, he's gonna ride me until I ascend in the Fall." I replied, sounding annoyed.

"My dad wants me to go to college before I can take his place. I already have a scholarship in sight." Gustavo informed me and I gasped in shock at this news.

"How am I supposed to ascend as Alpha without my Beta?" I shouted, shocked.

When a new Alpha rises, so does their Beta. It's kinda like when a new president takes office. They can't exactly swear the new president without a V.P. It's the same with Alpha and Beta. I cannot ascend as Alpha without my Beta. And that is Gustavo Carillon.

"I don't know. Maybe he'll convince your dad to hold off on your ascension? I mean, what's the hurry? Your dad is not even in his 40's. Even warriors retire later than dad." Gustavo argued in a humorous tone.

"It wouldn't be a bad idea to go to college together. I always wanted to go to Austin. Can you imagine us together at UT?" I wondered in a chipper mood. I am not exactly opposed to this idea. I just never thought it was a possibility for me.

"I can. But we still need to wait and find out where our mates are going to college. You don't wanna be mated to someone who'll attend NYU while you're stuck in Texas." Gustavo pondered, wisely.

"You're right. Though I'm pretty sure Gray wouldn't mind going to UT with us." I said, pensive.

"Well, it's too early to tell anyway. But let's keep our options open." He advised me as I drove off.

"Understood. And like I said, if your dad can convince mine to hold off the ascension ceremony, I'm all for it." I said, not really in a rush to become Alpha. I would love nothing more than to spend some time away in college.

A FEW DAYS LATER.

"Stop behaving like a teenager!" My dad berated me.

"I AM A TEENAGER!" I yelled back at him.

We were inside the living room, just me, him, and mom. Dad is chastising me once again.

"You are more than just a teenager. You're the future Alpha. You have to set an example!" He argued, mad at me.

"And what did I do wrong?" I countered, irritated.

My dad gave me a look that told me I should know exactly what I did wrong. It shouldn't fall on him to tell me that. It's a look I know well at this point.

"Stop trying to sneak Grayson into your room. Not only is it forbidden, it sets the wrong example for your brother and sister." Dad reprimanded me in a raised voice.

"We're 17 years old. He's gonna be my mate. What's the harm in that?" I refuted, shrugging.

"Aside from him turning up pregnant with your unmated pup, a lot of things. And again, it's forbidden to bring people to your room who are not your mate. I shouldn't have to repeat that to you." Dad yelled at me.

My mom tried to calm my dad down and interjected in her much softer tone.

"Landon, son, I know you feel like Grayson and you are destined to be together. But your father is right. If he turns out to be your mate, then great. But until your birthday, please respect the house rules. If our teenage son won't respect the rules, how can we expect the unmated adults who live here to do so?" She argued wisely.

The guest wing of the pack house is home to about 20 young adults, mostly warriors either unmated or mated without children. Though everyone is free to do as they please, it's forbidden to bring 'guests' into your room who are not your mate.

Truthfully, most people choose to live here because it's cheaper than anywhere else, so you can save up for a few years before you move out. The pack house is open to all our members, though most people go to college after high school.

"I know, mom. But I love Grayson." I said in a defeated tone.

"You don't need sex to validate your love, sweetie. There's a host of people in the world who have entire long-lasting relationships filled with love and no sex. One thing does not equate to the other." She countered in a tempered tone.

I breathed out a defeated sigh. I know what she is talking about, though that is an extreme case, a particular set of individuals we know as asexual. Anyway, I know my parents fear Gray getting pregnant before we get mated. I get that and we are always safe.

"Fine. I promise not to sneak him into my room anymore." I conceded after a while. I wouldn't be able to escape this anyway.

"I don't want to have to ban a teenager from the pack house. But I will if I have to." Dad threatened, staring me down.

"I said I won't do it anymore. Don't need to bring up banishment!" I shouted, moving to leave the room.

"Landon, I'm doing this for your own good. You'll understand me better when you get mated. It's gonna feel like you should have waited for him." Dad said as I walked away.

"I have!" I rebuked, angry at him. I waited for my mate. It's only a matter of time before he gets confirmed by the Goddess.

THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY.

Grayson and I are making out in the schoolyard. At this point in time, we're very comfortable in our skin and relationship. Nothing can rattle us, not even casual homophobia from human students.

"I just need to say this: if it's not me, I don't want you to feel bad. I'm sure I'm not the only Omega in school that you can be mated to. I love you." He said with a frightful tone and a loving gaze.

"What are you talking about? You're the only Omega for me. I don't care about anybody else!" I rebuked, frowning. I refuse to even consider the possibility he is not gonna be my mate. He has to be. There is nobody better for me than him.

Gray smiles at me and we kiss for another minute.

"I love you too." I said after we parted lips.

The next day I woke up to receive warm hugs from my family. Ella gives me a card she made herself. My mom spends a good five minutes hugging me inside the dining room.

"My baby is all grown up." She said, still holding me tight.

"I'm not a baby anymore, mom." I rebuked her, trying to escape her grasp.

"You'll always be my baby." She insisted, kissing me one more time.

We take our seats for a special breakfast with all my favorite foods.

"Son, manage your expectations for today. Even if you don't get the mate that you want, you still need to make your actual mate feel like they are the one you wanted all along, even if you didn't." My dad advised me in his somber tone as if predicting I wouldn't get Grayson for my mate.

"I will get the mate that I want, so it's not gonna be that difficult." I stated, confidently. My dad grunted and sighed in defeat. My mom looked at me with a hopeful, but troubled gaze. Even Clark who is only 13 is frowning at me.

"Sure, son. Have a glorious day at school. I hope you get everything that you want. Your happiness is all I care about." Dad told me after a while, half smiling.

"Thanks, dad." I smiled back at him, contently.

Like any other day, the first thing I did was stop by Gustavo's house to pick him up for school. He greeted me with a joyous hug and wished me the happiest of birthdays.

Once upon a time, I feared to be mated to him - who is literally the only person in the world I didn't want. He is my best friend and the only choice for my Beta. Thankfully, when my dad told me that (male) Alphas always get Omegas for their mate, I breathed out a relieved sigh.

As I approached the school, my nerves sunk in. I parked the car and stood still for a while, immobile. Gustavo noticed my troubled state and reassured me.

"Don't worry. What's yours is reserved to you by the Goddess." He said in an uplifting tone.

As expected, Grayson was waiting for me by the front gate. As soon as I realized it wasn't him, both of us began crying. Gustavo felt bad for me, but he let me be consoled by him, even if for a last time. Once I am mated, we won't be together anymore.

Grayson embraced me in silent tears before he said he was sorry for us. Then he said teenagers rarely get their mates right. And not one of our parents did. Mine, his or Gustavo's.

After he and I had our time, I walked the school halls waiting to have my eyes shining for someone. With so many teen werewolves, the options are numerous.

The bell rang. Nothing anywhere. The first period ended, second, third, still no mate in sight.

"Maybe he's absent today." Gustavo argued, feeling bad for me.

"Do you know anyone from our class who is off today?" I inquired, quizzically. Gustavo pity stared at me, not knowing what to reply except for the truth that was staring at my face.

When I arrived home, my parents were ecstatically waiting for me to announce who it was. As soon as they saw my face, they imagined the worst. It wasn't Grayson.

If only that was the worst...

"I'm sorry, son. I'm sure he's gonna make you just as happy as Grayson. Who is it?" Dad asked me, curiously.

I cried over his shoulders, feeling so disappointed in myself. I felt like a failure for not being able to produce a mate, even though it was not up to me.

"It's not the end of the world, son. He's probably older than you. I'll invite every unmated college freshman of our pack to your birthday party. I'll have Lourdes prepare the e-vite tomorrow." Dad told me, not wanting me to feel bad.

My dad is being so supportive of me. Here I am feeling the worst, but his love for me has never wavered.

As the days went by, there was no mate in sight for me.

All the seniors of my class were getting their mates, one by one, but even long after my birthday, there was no sign of him.

I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, feeling devastated. I know I cannot be Alpha without a mate, but that is not what hurts the most. It's impossibly overwhelming seeing so many of my peers getting something that I always thought I'd have by now.

It would be the same as if I hadn't shifted into a wolf at puberty. I felt myself denied of my birthright. But there is nothing in life so bad that it can't get worse.

The deadliest blow to my self-esteem was still to come.

"Happy Birthday, Stavo! I love you, my friend. I know you're getting mated today and I don't want you to feel bad for me when you do. Even if it's a girl." I provoked him.

"Why would my mate be a girl? I'm gayer than you!" He refuted and I snorted at this, loudly.

Because he was not mated yet, Grayson and I kept seeing each other. There is no point in being lonely on top of being unmated. At least until his 18th birthday.

But as soon as I walked towards the front gate, I saw Grayson's eyes shine and it didn't hit me until my best friend's eyes were shining right by my side.

"No!" I screamed in agony as the worst-case scenario came to fruition. I lost the love of my life to my very best friend.

"MATE." Gustavo declared in a deep, husky tone.

"MATE." Grayson repeated back to him, shocked by this.

Though they tried to be accommodating to my feelings, there was nothing anyone could do. They had to accept each other. It's what our nature compels us to do. I should have listened to my parents' advice to not date or fall in love before mated. But who listens?

When I arrived home and told my parents, there was a part of my dad that already had the suspicion that this would come to pass. There was a look I could not describe in his eyes, but he knew. Or at least suspected as much.

My mom comforted me like only she could, but I was devastated. Wrecked. This was even worse than being left mateless. It feels like I lost the two most important people in my life all at once. I mean those without my surname.

I cried the hardest that night. This was by far the lowest I've ever felt in my life. A desperation sunk in that now I was officially lonely. Not only that but I still had front row seats to my best friend getting mated to the love of my life.

Gustavo came to talk to me before I left for school the next day. I don't know if he feared I'd ditch him or if he was really worried for me, but I chose to believe he was genuinely concerned for our friendship.

We talked for a moment inside the living room before we had to leave for school. He tried his best to put me at ease, telling me he didn't have any choice in the matter. I knew that. I'd never expect him to reject his mate on my account. Especially Grayson.

That wouldn't serve any purpose and still wouldn't get me mated, which was the real issue.

In the days that followed, Grayson took a step back in regards to our relationship - which I already expected since he is mated now. But what really hurt was not seeing him outside of the classroom, not talking to him.

He felt like any contact with me would be either disrespectful to his mate or hurtful to my healing process.

But going from being the person I loved to a mere classmate was hurting me way worse. They avoided being together in front of me, but I knew they were getting acquainted.

It made their relationship feel dirty to me. And that couldn't be further from the truth.

Gustavo never talked about his mate for fear of my reaction, but all I really wanted was for him to be happy. At least, in theory.

But when he showed up with his mate mark - he concealed it under his clothes, but there is no hiding its scent from another werewolf - that was when I sank to the lowest pits of despair.

I tried so hard to be happy for him, but I cried instead. I sobbed at the realization that Grayson had completed the bond with someone else.

I drowned in tears that never seemed to end. My heart was so broken by this. I felt like my life was over and I was barely 18. Little did I know my life would still take a turn for the worse. I felt I knew sorrow. I felt I knew pain.

But I didn't.

Not like I was about to feel.

And my life would never be the same again after that.

A|N: Again, I wrote this chapter thinking about a different song, but my writing had other plans.

I really wanted to choose another song, but couldn't. This song practically describes this chapter. It's undeniable.

I have to stay true to what's on the page.

Pain like Landon never felt before in his life follows.😓

It's all coming down from here...

And we are counting down to the bomb reveal. #WhoShotLandon

Love,

Léo.