{TWENTY-FOUR}

{TWENTY-FOUR}

Eric and I were going to meet up at the pizza place by his school, I had offered to pick him up but he said he'd rather meet up. I guess it was for the best, if he wanted to walk out on me after everything was out in the open, then it was best I didn't take him. It would be an awkward drive home.

Home, a place I still had to go to. I had texted Janet and told her I would be to the house around 5 to talk to her, and if need be, pick things up. Those I left that last bit out. If I was smart I would have packed up things in advance and then I wouldn't need the walk of shame out of my own house.

I sat at my desk after my last client had left, finishing up the last of the paperwork before packing everything up and heading to see Eric when the door to my office opened.

I was expecting to see Jennifer or Scott walk in. Who I wasn't expecting was Janet, with her hair high on her head in a bun, tight mom jeans on and a loose sweater. She looked great, nothing like you'd expect someone who was just told their husband was into men would look.

"Jan," I stood up, but Janet just put her hand up and sat down across from me, I sat down soon after. "I wasn't expecting you."

"No, I don't say you were." She didn't sound angry, but her words were still sharp. You could see that she was hurting with the way she carried herself. Shoulders tense, fingers laced, eyes dancing around the room. "I figured it would be best if we spoke here rather then at home where the kids could hear. But I won't be too long. Eric told me you're meeting up for lunch."

I nodded, watching her, I didn't want to speak, I just wanted her to get whatever she needed off her chest.

"I wish you would have told me sooner Sidney." She started.

"I wish I knew sooner, It wasn't something I've known forever, I guess I hid it for so long that I forgot how it felt."

Janet bit her lip, "What made you come to the realization?"

I didn't know if I should tell her, this was the whole reason I had us going to Dr. Bennett, so I could avoid her finding out about Scott and destroying my office. Not that she was the type to be that angry, but people did crazy things when faced with these types of situations.

"Janet, I really don't think-"

"I already know you're seeing someone."

"You- You do?"

"You've been going out a lot, Eric told me you were in the city with a man. Then you tell me you're gay and I just put two and two together. What's his name?"

I was about to tell her, apologize and beg for forgiveness. But I didn't get the chance to when the door opened and Scott walked in holding two coffees and a big smile. "Hey, doc figured I get you a little convenience boost before meeting with Er- um. Hello." And the smile and playfulness were gone in a flash. He bit his lip looking at Janet with wide eyes.

"Janet, this is Scott. Scott this is my wife Janet." I said at I stood up, Scott looked very awkward. He looked back from Janet and I a few times. I walked over to him, taking the coffee from his hands and muttering a low thank you. "I wish I could tell you nothing has ever gone on Janet, I wish I could tell you that I want to be married to you forever, keep our family the way it is and live that all American dream that we always talked about," I said as I walked towards her, putting the coffee on my desk before kneeling down in front of her and taking both her hands in mine. "I wish I could make all your dreams come true, make me the man you deserve. But, I need to think about not just your happiness, but my own. If we kept going on the path we were, I can't tell you where I would have ended up. Calling it great timing, or faith, or whatever. But I just want to tell you that I will always love you, and I want us to be as good as friends as we always have been. I know I could pick a better place to tell you this. But if I don't tell you now, I don't know if I ever will. Janet. I love you so much, and I am so, so sorry for how things played out."

Janet looked like she was ready to cry, and to be honest, I felt like I could cry too. I never thought our life together would come to this, to a breakup. I had pictured us together forever, and that was ignorant of me to think. I should have known better.

I spent eighteen years with this woman, and I failed the both of us.

Janet watched me before placing a hand on my cheek, I closed my eyes for a second before looking back up to her. "I understand," She said softly. "I wish I didn't, but I do. I love you, Sidney. I'm sorry this ended as it did. But I'm not sorry for the life we had together, and I hope you can find happiness with the person you are."

"I hope you find happiness to Jan." I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close to my chest, and as I opened them a few seconds later I looked up to see Scott, and I just gave him a little smile. Because thankfully, I was finding happiness already.

Janet and I agreed on me coming to the house after I met up with Eric to pick up some things, I had invited Scott, but we were pending Eric's approval before he came over. I still wasn't sure how we'd tell Morgan, but I feel like it's going to be a sit-down conversation during the weekend.

Janet was the first to leave the office after our talk, which latest five minutes thereafter, She and Scott shared awkward eye contact, obvious to the fact that I said everything with him standing there that it meant he wasn't just some random person intruding on our private time. Scott felt awkward being there, I know he did, but the fact was that if he wasn't there, I may not have been able to say what I did to her.

Now, I was standing in a little pizza shop in the middle of a strip mall, while I waited for Eric to come back from the bathroom, we had placed our orders, or well Eric had. I wasn't hungry, my nerves getting the best of me.

I found a seat by a window and sat down as I tapped my fingers on the table. I tried to figure out what I was going to say to him, but nothing seemed right, so I was just going to have to see what my brain came up with when the time came.

It only took a few minutes for Eric to sit with me at the table, a tray full of pizza and a slice of garlic bread.

"How was school?" I asked, trying to keep things light and simple, I didn't want to jump into the deep stuff to fast, and maybe not at all. Maybe the deep stuff was better suited for home. Why did I think meeting up here was a good idea? I could only be thankful that the only other people in here were in the back making pizza.

Eric shrugged taking a bite of his pizza. "It was fine, had a test, Sam and I got our grade back from our project finally, got a B. What's going on with your and mom?"

Well, so much for not jumping into the deep stuff. "A B, that's not bad."

"No, it's not."

I bit the inside of my cheek looking at my eldest. "Your mother and I are separating. And it's most likely going to lead to a divorce."

"Why?" He took another bite.

"Eric, anything I tell you here doesn't change how I feel for you, Morgan, or your mother. I still love you all and I'll always love you guys. You're my family and you mean more to me than anyone on this earth."

"Well, duh." Typical teen.

"Eric, I'm gay. And I've met somebody who I have strong feelings for. I know it's not something that's easy to hear. My intentions were for this to never happen. But it has, and it's something we're all going to work through."

"We all have to work for something because you couldn't figure out you liked it up the ass when you were fifteen like the rest of us?"

"Wha- Eric no, that's not- What did you just-"

"It's not my fault or Morgan's fault and it's definitely not Moms fault that you couldn't figure out what you liked before you got with her. It's your fault. It's all your fault. Don't try throwing the blame on us."

"I'm not, that's not what I'm saying-"

"No, what you're saying is that you want to make your big mistake and want all of us to be fine with it. You made her cry."

"Eric... No, it's something we- I have to work through. You're my family, I'm not throwing any blame, I know it's my own fault. I also want us to work this out as a family. To still be a family, even if your mother and I aren't together. I had no intention to make her cry. The last few days the two of us have done our share of crying. But we both understand that this was something neither of us could have helped."

"Would have helped if you would have just learned sooner and not eighteen years later."

"Sometimes Eric, it's not that simple for people to just accept themselves, sometimes people can't just accept themselves. Not everyone has loving parents who support them. You do, and you're so lucky. I didn't. And it's something that obviously affected me."

"So what, you're just going to move in with Scott? Forget about us?"

"No, I could never forget about you, that would never happen."

"But you're with Scott though, aren't you?"

"Yes, but it's not what you think when you saw us we weren't-"

"Save it," Eric argued standing up. "I get the picture." He walked out, leaving his food behind.

That had gone better then I expected it to...