Chapter 11

Nani Hirunkit

The rain is relentless.

It pounds against the pavement, soaking through my clothes, dripping from my hair, chilling me to the bone. I don't know how long I've been walking. Minutes? Hours? It doesn't matter. I don't care.

My chest feels tight, my mind a mess of thoughts I can't untangle. Every time I close my eyes, I see Sky—his confused expression, the frustration in his voice, the way he demanded answers from me like he had no idea what he had done. Like I was supposed to just be okay after everything.

I'm not okay.

I don't know if I ever will be.

The streetlights flicker against the wet asphalt as I turn the corner. I barely register where my feet are taking me until I stop in front of Dew and Win's place. But they're not home. They left for Win's hometown two days ago, which means I won't have to explain myself, won't have to answer any questions.

Good.

I let myself in, my wet clothes clinging uncomfortably to my skin. The apartment is quiet, dark, undisturbed. I move on autopilot, grabbing my things—my clothes, my books, the little pieces of my life that I left here. I don't waste time. I pack fast, not giving myself a second to think.

Once I'm done, I don't linger. I shut the door behind me and step back into the rain.

My next stop is my shared dorm with Sky.

The place I once called home.

I don't hesitate as I unlock the door, stepping inside. The air is warm, familiar, but it feels different now. Like I don't belong here anymore. Like I never did.

I strip out of my soaked clothes and step into the shower, letting the hot water scald my skin. Maybe it'll wash away the exhaustion clinging to me, the frustration twisting inside my chest. But no matter how long I stand there, it doesn't.

It never does.

Once I'm dressed, I waste no time. I grab my suitcase, start pulling my clothes from the closet, stacking them into neat piles before shoving them into boxes. I don't stop. I don't let myself pause. If I do, I might think. And if I think, I might—

A sound cuts through the silence.

The front door opening.

Footsteps.

Then—

"Nani?"

I freeze.

I don't turn around. I keep my hands on the box in front of me, steady even though my heart is anything but.

I hear Sky step closer. "What are you doing?" His voice is careful, unsure.

I grip the edge of the box, my knuckles turning white.

"Leaving."

It's a single word. Cold. Bitter. Final.

Silence stretches between us. I don't look at him, but I can feel him staring at me.

Then, his voice—lower this time. "What?"

I take a slow breath, forcing myself to stay calm. "I'm leaving," I repeat.

A sharp exhale. "You're joking, right?"

I finally turn to face him. His expression is unreadable—brows drawn together, lips pressed into a tight line. His eyes flicker to the boxes, to the suitcase, then back to me.

I lift another stack of clothes and shove them into the box. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

His jaw clenches. "Why?"

A bitter laugh escapes me. "Why?" I echo, shaking my head. "You really don't get it, do you?"

Sky takes a step closer. "Nani, if this is about earlier—"

"It's not just about earlier." The words snap out before I can stop them. My patience is gone. My exhaustion is catching up to me. I'm so goddamn tired.

Sky looks frustrated now. "Then tell me what the hell it's about! Because I don't understand! You've been avoiding me for days, and now you're packing your shit and leaving without even telling me why?"

I drop the shirt in my hands and turn to face him fully, anger bubbling to the surface. "You don't understand?" I laugh, but there's nothing funny about it. "Sky, you kissed me."

His expression falters for a second before he recovers. "I was drunk."

"I know," I say through gritted teeth. "And you told me it was a mistake."

Silence.

Sky swallows, his posture tense. "It was a mistake."

Something inside me cracks.

I nod slowly, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my voice steady. "Right. A mistake."

The word tastes awful on my tongue.

A mistake.

Of course it was.

Sky runs a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "Nani, I—"

"Do you have any idea how that felt?" I cut him off, my voice sharp. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have the one person you—" I stop myself just in time, my heart slamming against my ribs. I take a shaky breath. "To have you kiss me like that and then act like it meant nothing?"

Sky's brows furrow. "It's not like that—"

"Then what is it like?" My voice rises. "Tell me, Sky! What the hell am I supposed to feel when you do shit like this and then pretend it doesn't matter?"

His hands curl into fists. "I wasn't pretending it didn't matter—"

"But it didn't, right?" I laugh bitterly, gesturing between us. "Because it was a mistake. Just a stupid, drunken mistake. That's all I am to you, isn't it?"

Sky's eyes widen slightly, like I caught him off guard. "That's not—"

"Forget it." I shake my head, turning away. "I don't want to do this anymore."

He takes a step forward. "Nani, wait—"

"No." My voice is firm, steady, even as my hands shake. "I can't keep doing this, Sky. I'm done."

His breath hitches, but he doesn't say anything. He just stands there, staring at me, like he wants to say something but doesn't know how.

Like he doesn't want me to go.

But he won't stop me either.

And that tells me everything I need to know.

I grab another box, shoving it into my suitcase, and when I finally look at him again, I don't let myself hesitate.

I just keep packing.

Because this time, I'm really leaving.

-----------------

The car door slams shut behind me, muting the sound of the rain pounding against the windshield. My hands grip the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. My chest rises and falls in uneven breaths, my entire body wound so tightly that I feel like I might snap.

I stare ahead, but my vision blurs—not from the rain, but from the sting in my eyes. I blink rapidly, forcing it back. My jaw clenches so hard it aches.

I should just drive. Just start the car and go.

But my hands won't move.

Instead, they tremble.

A choked breath escapes me, and before I can stop it, a sob rips through my chest.

I grip the wheel tighter, trying to steady myself, trying to push it all back down. I've held myself together this long. I can't break now. Not when I'm finally leaving. Not when this is what I decided.

But the moment I exhale, everything collapses.

A sharp, broken sob shakes my entire body, and then another, and another. I press my forehead against the wheel, shoulders trembling, hands gripping so tightly that my fingers start to go numb. The air in the car feels suffocating, like the weight of everything I've been holding in is pressing down on my chest, crushing me.

Sky's voice still rings in my ears.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

The word tasted bitter on my tongue, but I forced it out anyway. I had to. Because what was the point of staying?

Sky doesn't need me. Sky doesn't want me.

Not like I want him.

I squeeze my eyes shut, my breathing ragged. The memory of his drunken kiss burns in my mind, just like the words that followed.

It was a mistake.

The rain outside grows heavier, hammering against the car, drowning out the broken sounds leaving my lips.

I wish it could drown out everything else, too.

Because no matter how far I run, no matter how much distance I put between us—Sky will always be the one thing I can never escape.

And the worst part?

He will never even know.