Chapter 20

Sky Wongravee

I walk into the dorm, tossing my keys onto the desk without thinking. The soft clatter echoes through the empty room, too loud in the silence.

It's quiet. Too quiet.

My fingers twitch as I shrug off my jacket, letting it drop onto the chair. I don't know why, but something feels different tonight—off. I ignore it, pretend I don't notice the weight settling in my chest. It's just another night. Just another step forward.

I've been fine. Things are stabilizing. That's what I keep telling myself.

I go through the motions. Change into comfortable clothes. Check my phone. Scroll through messages, tap through stories, look at things I don't care about just to keep my mind busy. I remind myself that I'm moving forward. I'm talking to May, I'm putting in the effort. That's what I should be doing. That's what makes sense.

But the second I step further into the room, something shifts.

I try not to notice how my feet slow down. How my body hesitates.

My eyes drift.

Again.

And again.

And again.

His bed.

Still there. Still made. Still his.

A lump forms in my throat, but I push it down. My fingers curl into fists at my sides. It's just a bed. It means nothing. It's just furniture.

But it doesn't feel like nothing.

I force myself to look away, pace the room to shake it off, but my thoughts spiral anyway.

Nani blocked my number.

Nani ignored every single message.

Nani left.

Just like that.

I should be pissed. I am pissed. Who does that? Who just walks away without an explanation? He always said I never listened, but what was I supposed to do? Read his mind? Chase after him when he made it so damn clear he didn't want to be found?

I grit my teeth, my jaw aching from the pressure. My hands twitch at my sides. My body is restless, my thoughts relentless.

And before I even realize it, I'm standing next to his bed.

I don't know how I got here. My feet must have moved on their own.

The scent hits me first. That familiar, light, clean scent that's so distinctly him. It shouldn't matter. It shouldn't make my chest feel like it's caving in. But it does.

I exhale sharply, running a hand through my hair. My head is a mess. This is pathetic.

I tell myself to turn around, to walk back to my bed, to stop thinking about things that don't matter.

Instead, I sit down.

I stare at my hands, at the slight tremble in my fingers. My shoulders feel tight, my head too heavy.

Tell myself I'm just tired.

Tell myself this means nothing.

But my mind won't shut up. The memories push through, uninvited, overwhelming.

Late-night talks.

Stupid arguments.

The way he used to throw a pillow at me when he got annoyed.

The way he used to look at me—like I was his.

I squeeze my eyes shut, dragging a hand down my face. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this.

But I don't move.

The exhaustion creeps in, thick and suffocating, pressing down on me until I can't fight it anymore. My body gives up before my mind does, and before I even realize it, my head sinks into his pillow.

His scent is still there.

Still lingering.

I should pull away. I should go to my own bed.

But I don't.

I close my eyes.

And just like that, I fall asleep in Nani's bed.

-----------------

I'm standing in a place I don't recognize.

The air is warm, the sky painted in soft shades of pink and gold, like the sun is just beginning to set. There's a breeze, gentle and comforting, carrying the distant hum of waves against the shore.

And then, I see him.

Nani.

He's standing a few steps away, barefoot in the sand, the wind tugging at his shirt. He turns slightly, glancing over his shoulder at me, and when our eyes meet, he smiles. Not the tight, polite smile I've gotten used to, but the real one—the one that reaches his eyes, the one that used to make everything else disappear.

I don't know how I got here, but suddenly, none of that matters.

"Nani..." His name slips from my lips before I even think.

He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. He tilts his head toward the water, like he's telling me to follow him, and my feet start moving on their own.

The sand is warm beneath me, soft and familiar. The waves come and go in a slow, steady rhythm, washing over my ankles as I step closer.

When I reach him, he laughs. It's quiet, effortless, the kind of laugh that tugs at something deep inside me. "Took you long enough," he says, nudging me lightly with his shoulder.

I huff out a breath, rolling my eyes. "You didn't exactly wait for me."

He grins, and it's so easy, so natural, like nothing has ever changed. Like we're still us.

I want to say something, but the words get lost somewhere in my throat. So I just look at him instead, memorize every little detail—the way the sunlight catches in his eyes, the way the corners of his lips twitch when he's holding back a bigger smile.

He's beautiful.

He always has been.

The thought hits me too suddenly, too deeply, and I feel something tighten in my chest.

He nudges me again. "You're quiet."

I swallow, forcing out a small smirk. "Just enjoying the peace before you start talking too much."

He gasps dramatically, shoving me, and I stumble back with a laugh. "You're so rude," he mutters, crossing his arms.

I shrug. "You knew that already."

Nani shakes his head, but he's smiling, and I think I could stay here forever—just like this. Just him and me, just the ocean, the sky, the warmth of everything around us.

He steps forward suddenly, reaching out, his fingers brushing against my wrist. It's light, barely even a touch, but it sends something sharp through me.

I want to grab his hand.

I want to hold onto him, to make sure he doesn't go anywhere.

But before I can, he looks up at me, his expression softer now, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.

"Sky," he says.

And just like that—

The world tilts.

Everything shifts.

The ocean fades. The warmth disappears.

And I wake up.

My eyes snap open.

The dorm is dark. Cold. My chest is rising and falling too quickly, my hands gripping the blanket beneath me.

It takes me a second to realize where I am. To realize that the sand, the water, the sunlight—it's all gone.

He's gone.

And I never got to hold his hand.